help with brestfeeding....

Julia - posted on 01/11/2010

My daughter is 3 months old and she is my first and I was determined to breastfeed. I visited a lactation consultant because we were having some problems intially and what a difference it made! She now nurses wonderfully and she is done in like twenty minutes (every three to four hours too). I would say stick with it because it gets easier right around 10 to 12 weeks. If you're nervous about nursing in public, you could use a cover or wait until she can go a little longer between feedings then go out between. My husband has been pretty good with the feeding in public...I told him up front not to bother me because my baby has to eat and that's the most important thing...not what other people think. And you'd be surprised how many people actually don't mind.

Maree - posted on 01/11/2010

Why is your husband ashamed of your beautiful life giving ability? You should be so proud of yourself - you are able to keep this little being alive and thriving using your body. I know it takes a bit of getting used to but our breasts are not primarily sexual objects for people to gawk at but miraculous life giving organs. If you want more privacy use a muslin wrap. (And tell your husband to take his lunch and eat it in the bathroom)

Maree - posted on 01/11/2010

Why is your husband ashamed of your beautiful life giving ability? You should be so proud of yourself - you are able to keep this little being alive and thriving using your body. I know it takes a bit of getting used to but our breasts are not primarily sexual objects for people to gawk at but miraculous life giving organs. If you want more privacy use a muslin wrap. (And tell your husband to take his lunch and eat it in the bathroom)

Jennifer - posted on 01/11/2010

Brestfeeding is so good for a child. Let your husband know you don't care what other people think, That you care whats best for you child. Not to mention how much you can save on not buying formula. It all boils down to what you want for you and your child. The fact is theirs nothing as good for your baby as your milk. I breastfeed both my kids a little over a year each. It made all the diffrence having my husbands support. Ex I was in cracker barrel when my 4 month old got hungry. I went to the bathroom started him off covered him with a blanket over my shoulder and went back to the table to continue my meal. My husband saw a man looking at me and asked if i was feeding the baby. I told him i was. He got a little red in the face till i told him that this was are child not that man. I know whats best for him and no one's face or oppinion can change that. Hope all work for you. My last advice Continue to do what you feel is best. Once you stop feeding him their no going back.

Belinda - posted on 01/10/2010

you wouldnt wanna eat in a bathroom and neither would he so why feed your baby there? U are doing such a good thing for your baby and I was in your shoes being embarrassed in public until i got the hang of it. I have an Udder Cover its better than a blanket and the baby cant pull it off and if we go out to eat we'll get a place in a corner and i have my back to people so if i have to feed not many people are aware.. Also my friends understand and will either lend me a room if were at a party or if were alone i put on the cover and feed while we visit. Dont every feel bad about feeding your son the best food he can get. Keep up the great work and BE PROUD

Ashley - posted on 01/10/2010

Hooter Hider or other covers are wonderful because they don't slip off and are full coverage and you can still look down and see your little one. Remind your husband that you are doing this for your whole family and that he needs to be supportive instead of making you more uncomfortable. If you really can't do it anymore, I would just say to pump and bring that with but part of the convenience of nursing is not having to do that. You should never feel ashamed for doing such a wonderful thing for your son. People will always have an opinion one way or the other. You have to do what's best for your family.

Michelle - posted on 01/10/2010

Ok, when I had my second child and was at the beginning stages of nursing, I didnt want anyone other than my husband in the room while I was nursing. I had so much anxiety about nursing in front of people, I would have to get my husband to run people off so my baby could eat. By then she was so worked up and I was so frustrated that I couldnt nurse her. So essentially I put my needs and issues first and ended up only nursing for two weeks. My third baby, I didnt care who saw me, where I did it, if they didnt like it, they could leave! I did find that I would only go to places where they had rooms for nursing mothers in the beginning because she never like having anything over her head when she was eating (which obviously makes it really hard to cover up) but eventually it didnt matter to me, I would just get a corner booth in a restaurant or prop the carrier up by the table so that I wasn't exposing myself to everyone. After they are introduced to solid foods you can nurse them before you leave the house and a couple hours later, wherever your at, feed them their solid food and it's no big deal. Good luck and keep up the good work

Michelle - posted on 01/10/2010

It can be hard to get comfortable breastfeeding in public. I know a Sears they had breastfeeding rooms in the baby section. They have a change table and rocking chairs. If you are near one, you could always try that? I nursed with a nursing canopy I got at Cheekey Monkey here in London, they are longer and wider than the kushie ones and make you feel way more comfortable that your boob is not hanging out LOL My husband didn't like it at first either, but he got used to it LOL I also agree that I wouldn't be feeding in a dirty bathroom either. Hope this helps

Mattee - posted on 01/10/2010

There's a website called uddercovers.com and it's awsome! My husband was the same way, and I was just like "look people who bottlefeed son't have to cover up and hide in public, BITE ME" Of course I am polite and sometimes I get some looks (completely covered up) and I feel like it is the most natural way of taking care of a baby, it's not discusting, and it's definetly not sexual.... Just don't let them make you feel uncomfortable. You're doing a great job, and it REALLY is the best thing for your baby!

Anna - posted on 01/10/2010

I always did it right before we left somewhere.. or I'll do it in the car.. on a rare occasion I will go in a bathroom stall.. it gets easier as they get older since you can give them a sippy of water or juice or something to eat to hold them off.. but for the first several months I did what I listed above

Narissa - posted on 01/10/2010

I am all for nursing in public!



That said, I know its not the easiest thing, especially if your husband or family thinks it is embarrassing. In my opinion, the best thing to do is pump and bring a bottle of YOUR milk with you when your out and about. It has come in handy for me during long car rides to visit family, and to use around those family members that are not comfortable with breastfeeding. Just make sure to pump when you get home :) Pumping and giving your milk in a bottle also gives you the opportunity to let your husband feed the baby and give you a break!!!



I really hope you stick with breastfeeding, its the healthiest thing for your little one. Especially during this cold and flu season. Your son could use all the help he can get with the antibodies your milk provides for him. An electric pump will work the best, especially if you will be pumping and giving bottle pretty often. Good Luck!!!!!!

Stacey - posted on 01/10/2010

I try nursing before we leave if possible, pumping a bottle to have on hand as well. I also got a cute nursing cover from Walmart for $10 that's easy to use. Most days I wear a cami or tank top under my shirts that way I can just raise the top shirt and pull the under one under my breast so there's no skin showing. I'm not all about popping a boob out in public but would not go into the bathroom either...it's not because I think there's anything wrong with it it's more other people watching and what not that drives me crazy. It shouldn't be that way but it is at times : ( I'm proud of myself for making it this long (almost 6 months) with baby #3 and have no inention of stopping anytime soon.

Nicole - posted on 01/10/2010

You know u can do both breast feed at home and formula in public its fine with both and does not hurt your baby

Autumn - posted on 01/10/2010

If he'll take a bottle, you can always bring breastmilk with you and feed it to him from a bottle when in public. Or, the same with formula if he'll take it. That's what I do. My diaper came with an insulated bottle bag, so I don't worry about it going bad if we're only going to be out for a few hours. Otherwise, I just cover myself with a blanket. My husband doesn't have a problem with me breastfeeding in public. I feel self-conscious and apparently some other people do too, because I have gotten some ugly looks....but it IS a completely natural thing and I think people need to get over it!! There are plenty of girls running around who barely clothe themselves and have their cleavage everywhere and nobody says anything about that!!! (ok, I'm ranting now!) I would just try a bottle and see how that goes. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 01/10/2010

I don't know about over there, but in Australia many of the big malls have parents rooms near the toliets where you can change nappies (diapers) and feed baby in private in little stalls with arm chairs and curtains. Maybe the breastfeeding groups should be petitioning for that sort of thing over there too???

Dawn - posted on 01/10/2010

There's all sorts of really helpful advice on here but there's only one way to get over this and that's just to do it. Breast feed, in public, whenever. Once you've fed in most of the major stores and some minor ones you won't be at all bothered.

dxx

Michelle - posted on 01/09/2010

I use a nursing cover in public. I would think being out and about and having to pack bottles and formula and finding a way to warm up the bottle would be a pain in the butt.

Natasha - posted on 01/09/2010

Just get a nursing cover. It's a discrete way to still nurse while you're in public. I love mine.

Pam - posted on 01/09/2010

Great suggestions about covers and pumping. Don't forget you have the most milk in the morning - it's the best time to pump.

Jennifer - posted on 01/09/2010

lol amen to that...I always pumped while feeding my son....so that made it easier...& kept my supply up. I have the same feeling of being left out of everything while nursing..my son is 16m & still loves the boobies! :D although motstly just in the morning before naps, & before bed... but when I feel lonely in there I just think of the time I am spending with him &how I wont be able to do this forever & it gets me through till the next time! Good luck & keep up the good work!

Michele - posted on 01/09/2010

A receiving blanket used the right way works just fine!

Jayne - posted on 01/09/2010

you can do it. dont be embarrassed. that is shy you hav ebreasts. you can do it.

Brandi - posted on 01/09/2010

I wish my son would breastfeed. I currently pump and give it to him in a bottle. He was 11 weeks early and has not yet gotten the strength/stamina to nurse, so we usually only have 1 or 2 successful nursing attempts per day. Thankfully my hubby is very supportive, and actually encourages me to pump/attempt to nurse even when we are out.

I agree completely that if you cannot get your hubby on board for public nursing, then pump and put it in a bottle. The benefits of BM over formula are phenomenal. I have seriously considered quitting pumping just because of the frustration of the pump-pour-feed cycle until I read a few articles on the benefits.

Hope everything works out for you and you are able to keep your little one on just breastmilk.

Dollie - posted on 01/09/2010

i also got the wrap from walmart, it is wonderful. my husband doesn't want me to make formula, he asks if i have my wrap and why don't i just feed her. i am very lucky to have someone who supports me, even when it's embarrasing.

Alexis - posted on 01/09/2010

You always have the option of pumping ahead of time and taking some pumped milk with you to give your baby in a bottle if it makes you feel more comfortable. I know some moms who only use formula when they are out in public and breastfeed any other time. Remeber though that nursing is natural and most other women and even most men are ok with moms doing it in public.

Tarah - posted on 01/08/2010

I understand being uncomfortable feeding in public i feel that way too but i wont feed in a bathroom i try to find a seat in a cafe (down the back somewhere) or some where quiet to feed him i have heard that the baby slings are good you can put the baby in there are no one can see you feeding him.

Danielle - posted on 01/08/2010

try nursing the baby. If your breasts are engorged then you are making milk. I would get a silicon breast shield (you can pick one up for about $6 at Babies R Us) and give it a go. It's so much more beneficial for the baby than formula.

Danielle - posted on 01/08/2010

You could nurse your son before you leave for wherever you are going. Maybe nurse him and then head out and he can sleep while you are shopping or running errands. I am a nursing mom myself and I say you need to do what you feel is right for your baby. Your husband is probably embarrassed and making you feel bad about public nursing because he is seeing it as a sexual thing. Many people think exposing your breast to nurse is more than just nourishing your child. I say if you are going to continue to nurse your son and you love it then you have to get over the public fear and not be embarrassed and nurse your son. Maybe find a good breastfeeding article, say in Mothering Magazine that would show your husband all of the positive things nursing does for you and your son. It's really up to you to decide when and if to nurse your baby, no one else's.

Georgia - posted on 01/08/2010

And then one day... this may happen. (It's happened to me twice now)

It's summertime here in Australia and I'm out with the family at the shopping centre wearing a nice, cool spaghetti strapped summer dress. Then it happens... baby cries, not just a normal cry, but a "feed me NOW" scream. Oops! With baby brain, I'd actually forgotten this could happen and had nothing to cover myself. Oh well, when you gotta eat.... Thankfully we have parents' rooms in shopping centres, so I go into one of those and have a seat with bubs, unzip my dress and take it off! Even in a parents' room, I'm embarrassed because my boob is flapping in the breeze for all to see and there's nothing I can do about it. I did get a couple strange looks from women, mostly out of surprise seeing a half undressed woman feeding a baby. It must've looked like something out of National Geographic.

I've done that with each of my sons and it wasn't any less embarrassing the second time. At least the second time there was an older woman, who came in with her daughter and granddaughter, that took it upon herself to try and console me. She came over to me and said, "You got caught out with baby brain, didn't you? I've been in your shoes before and it's okay, we all suffer from it. I still do!" (Funnily enough, her daughter was formula feeding)

Elisha - posted on 01/08/2010

i do it in public, i have become comfortable with it. if youre embarrassed then use a blaket or pump.

Therese - posted on 01/08/2010

I just got an awesome nursing cover....... www.uddercovers.com if you enter "thankyou" as the code at checkout you get the cov4r for FREE and only pay $8.95 for shipping,

I just got mine a few weeks ago and it is the best. Looks like an apron pattern but so cute and stays put. Hope that helps :)

Justine - posted on 01/08/2010

at that age, it is hard to get a good latch just at home without having your shirt half off and contorting to fit the baby in the right place lol. it takes practice, but eventually you wont even need a cover or anything, you can just lift your shirt just enough for them to get the nipple, which they do like pros, and you cant see anything. until then, try a nursing cover, where they lift away so you can see the baby but no one can see you. try to get your husband to understand why it is so important to keep breastfeeding, and that quitting just so you can go in public is pretty selfish. i dont mean to sound harsh, but i think that is one of the worst reasons to quit. keep practicing, and by about 3 months you will be latching that baby on like a pro! good luck!

Karen - posted on 01/08/2010

i nurse anywhere and everywhere. But to help out with your husbands discomfort try using your sons blanket. Not to cover you but when you are bfing him lay it next to his face (the side that is not on your breast) It makes your boob seem less out there. Also the nursing covers only work for so long. Bc when your baby starts to grab it becomes a toy not a cover...

Megan - posted on 01/08/2010

I was the same way. I nurse in the car before we go in somewhere if I know my baby is getting hungry, or in dressing rooms at the mall or Target or where ever. Pumping milk helped diminish these issues all together, and you get used to it pretty quickly. Good luck!

Audra - posted on 01/08/2010

I NEVER felt embarassed about nursing any of my three children now 8,7 and 5. They were all nursed just a little over 1 years old. In public I just draped a burp rag or blanket over my breast area or sometimes your shirt just covers it once the baby latches on. Don't give it up!! It is sooooo much easier to nurse than to deal with bottles. Stick to it and your husband won't have no choice but to accept your decision. Good Luck!!

Stephanie - posted on 01/08/2010

I was embarassed at first and pumped before I would go out, and just take an ice pack out of the freezer and wrap it around the bottle and stick it in the diaper bag. Tell your husband that TITS to HIM are FOOD to babies and that it's NATURAL. People don't look at you when you're breastfeeding unless you have your entire breast out, it's hard to ignore no matter who you are. Just knit an Afghan or buy a nice sized blanket (I had problems with my daughter pulling small blankets off my shoulder exposing me) That way your unsupportive husband can hold up the blanket and fix it the way he likes it best. Lay down the law "I'm going to breastfeed her, unless you want to pay 25 dollars per week for formula, clean bottles all day, and then pay a tutor when she's older because her iq isn't as high as it would be if I had breastfed her, then fine, I'll bottlefeed"

I personally love AVENT, if you do decide it's too much (I stopped when she was 6 months because she wasn't sleeping through the night yet, and I was 3 months pregnant with my second) I would go with Avent because it reduces collic better than any other bottle, they're easy to clean and the hand pump latches right to the bottle itself. Also Enfamil Premium is the 2nd best thing to breastmilk!

Amanda - posted on 01/08/2010

Have you ever heard of udder covers? They're really stylish and mask what you're doing, even though people can guess what you are doing, they don't see it. I'm sorry, but breastfeeding is very important for you and the baby and if hubby is gonna be embarrassed, he just needs to get over it. Pumping is also really great. It's been such a big help for us. Try not to start him on formula for a bit longer. It is so hard on their little tummy's because of the lack of enzymes. You should go to WIC or the hospital to visit a lactation consultant and they can help you with all the little details on how to make your husband feel more comfortable and be more supportive. Remember, you wouldn't go t a bathroom to eat, so why should your baby...

Jacklynn - posted on 01/08/2010

And I'd like to add that anyone who looks at you funny or acts like you're doing something wrong by breastfeeding in public is simply uneducated on the matter. Ignore them.

Jacklynn - posted on 01/08/2010

I was uncomfortable breastfeeding in public in the beginning as well, but got used to it with practice. It is nothing to be embarrassed about!!! It's a wonderful thing you're doing for your baby. I recommend getting a couple of good nursing capes. I got one with a stiff neck so that I could look down to see my baby without having to move my arms. At first, I would go to a bathroom (yuck!) or into a dressing room if I was shopping. After I got used to it and better at it, I was able to discreetly nurse wherever I was without feeling like I had to hide.

But if you don't want to breastfeed in public, then just pump and take milk with you. You certainly don't have to stop breastfeeding altogether. It would also be helpful if you're husband gave you a little support and understanding....I'll give him the benefit of the doubt by saying he has no idea what you're going through.

Misty - posted on 01/08/2010

I recommend getting a light weight bigger blanket or breastfeeding cover and I alwasy sat in the car or yes in the bathroom and held them even standing up to do it. You can also pump and freeze your milk, prepare those bottles for when you go out it's still your milk and you dont have to use formula. It shouldnt be embarassed by it, its the best thing you are both doing for the baby, and yourself he should be very proud of you. You can buy a little hand held pump if money is an issue or a little electric one. Good Luck

Mindy - posted on 01/08/2010

You should not feel ashamed of something that you are doing that is healthier for your baby.Our society unforunately has made breastfeeding taboo in public. I am the mother of seven children who were all breastfed. I admit that in public sometimes it was a hassle. If I had to go out I tried to time it so I could breastfeed at home right before we left. Then if I needed to I would nurse in the car while it was parked in the parking lot of the next place I needed to go. It worked well for me because it helped put my little nursers on somewhat of a schedule. I also went to college with two of my little ones. I suggest buying a hospital grade breast pump those are the best. I liked medella myself. If you are receiving WIC you may be able to borrow one from them. To start pumping, nurse your baby first and then pump toget the excess. it will seem like you are not making enough milk at first but, keep in mind breast pumps do not suckle like your baby. If there is a time when your milk lets down and your baby does not appear hungry, pump then also. If he gets hungry after you pump, that's okay. You can feed him then. Tell our husband that the more supportive he is for you, the less stressful it is for you and baby. If you have to nurse in public, say a restaurant, get a table that you can sit on the inside with enough room and have your husband discreetly cover you while you nurse at the table. You will be covered and no one will really pay attention, trust me. Nursing is great! good for you. And if you don't think you can handle it you still helped your baby get a great start....Good Luck and God Bless!!

Avneet - posted on 01/08/2010

I am sorry your husband is not supportive I think it it hard for men to differentiate breasts from a sexual perspective and nourishment for your child, My husband was very supportive with both our kids which I still BF my 25 month old daughter but I have and still deal with his mother whom formula fed from day one you are giving your child the best start it is about you and your child pumping is a great idea highly recommend electric medela pump boobie cover work great but I can reassure you he will eventually see the difference of you feeding your child and "other"staring at your your breast sexually LOL keep at it you will become a pro BF don't give in to embarrassment you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about or your husband you are doing a wonderful thing for your son!!!!

Sara - posted on 01/08/2010

Try to give your husband the facts about breast milk compared to formula and hope he is smart enough to come around to the fact that being embarrassed is a selfish reason to not support you.

Shauneen - posted on 01/07/2010

Give him some expressed milk from a bottle. My daughter took to it easily at 4 weeks. Its extra work but well worth it. Invest in a good electric pump and if you can get 100ml at a time then you wont have any problems. Just give him the milk at the same time of day that it was expressed.

MarthaLynn - posted on 01/07/2010

Quoting Temeka:

I have a Question I was trynna breastfeed but I had no milk but on Sunday all my milk came in but my son is on formula and my breast are so swollen what can I do some body please help..

NURSE, NURSE, NURSE!!!  Find a La LEche League Group in your area, and give the leader a call!  It is worth it to breastfeed your son!!   http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Becca - posted on 01/07/2010

you might want to try a wrap carrier and use the nursing hold. if you go to www.thebabywearer.com/ It might be helpful on showing you how to nurse your baby while in the wrap.

Melissa - posted on 01/07/2010

It can be very lonely being a breastfeeding mom at social events where not everyone is comfortable with you feeding your little one! My twin brothers-in-law are MORTIFIED by my nursing (of course, they're only 20, so it's understandable I guess), so for a while I was leaving the room every time I needed to feed Eden when we were visiting. That quickly grew old, so I simply get a chair and move back-to everyone so I'm still involved in the conversation. I've found that a lot of it depends on your attitude... if you treat your nursing like nothing out of the ordinary and don't seem self-concious about it then other people are more likely to treat it like it's no big deal. I'm even able to feed my daughter in front of my dad (if you had told me I'd be doing that six months ago, I would have laughed in your face). I can relate to having a bashful husband... mine was not thrilled about me feeding in public, but he's seen now that it's not really the big deal he thought it was. In any case, breasts were made first to feed babies and were later made something "inappropriate" by people... men walk around all the time with no shirt on, why should women be made to feel uncomfortable about using their breasts for what they were made for?

Amy - posted on 01/07/2010

Tell your hubby to grow up and get over it... It's nothing to be embarrassed about.
If you need to, get a nursing cover. There are some cape-like ones, which can't fall off of you, but are light enough to not turn the space under it into a sauna. I like having mine for when we are out and about; it allows me to be discrete, and still feed my baby.

Shannon - posted on 01/07/2010

You really shouldnt be emarrassed nor should your husband. You are doing an incredible and natural thing. It will take time to get a little more comfortable but please dont be embarrassed. If someone has a problem with it thats there problem. Try a nursing wrap..its a little easier than trying to keep a blanket in a nice position...Good Luck.

Eva - posted on 01/07/2010

Quoting Layce:

help with brestfeeding....

My son is 8 weeks old, I'm still brestfeeding him I love doing it when were home but HATE it when were in public... or leave the housea. I just want to stop and put him on formula? how do i do that? or how can I still brest feed in public. My husband is like embarassed by the fact and makes me like go in a corner or in a bathroom stall where no one can see me. I think that makes it harder also... please help!!!

 

 please dont switch to formula, I tried giving my son a bottle the other night because he cluster feeds before bed and he had disgusted looks on his face when I gave him formula, then refused the bottle and then threw the formula up. I then tried the formula and it is really disgusting. You can pump for your little one and bring it along with you for public feeding or you can use a blanket to cover up.