how do I get my husband more involved with the baby?

Katherine - posted on 08/06/2009

Tell him that it's important for his relationship with his child. Make dad time a priority. Let him do baths and clothing changes (not just diapers who wants to do that exclusivesly?) I know my man LOVES to bathe our son, or just to have time to cuddle in the mornigs before work.
I think there is some validity to the theory that guys need to be TOLD what to do or how to be helpful.
Bottom line- this is his baby too, he should be 100% involved in the care and upkeep of said child! Make sure dad knows how important his role is!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/06/2009

At first my fiancee thought he was going to break her. He says he started as a white belt( he does martial arts) And I was a 3rd degree black belt, because I have so much experience being a mother. I have a 6 year old from a previous person. So What I started doing to make him more comfortable with being with the baby is I let him do what every he wanted to do. He wanted to help and he wanted to make sure if i need help he was there. So I pumped for him so he could bond feeding her. I let him give her baths. I never normally bathed her without him. Then I have him change her diapers when he is home from work. So you can get your husband to do anything you need him to do. Just show him encouragement, and show him one how to do it and then let him bond:) . Our daughter now is 7 weeks old and she is in love with her daddy. (with the belts he is currently up to a red) LOL

Christina - posted on 08/06/2009

Ok so the Hubby and have a good relationship and he said when they get a lil older is when daddys get super involved. Our lil gal is 16 month and he said he loves it she is super active:)- good luck

Christina - posted on 08/03/2009

Allow him to help with every thing else. You have had 8weeks to learn stuff like wash and change the lil guy. Let daddy help with that stuff and try to pump so he can bond too, try to do a bottle a day. My hubby was deployed for 8 months he came home to an 8month old who was still Brest feeding. He was feeling left out and some of it was me letting go and going the extra step to include him in as much as I can. Congrads and good luck!

Nichole - posted on 08/03/2009

I was worried that my boyfriend wouldn't have the bonding experience that I have with our baby because of breastfeeding, so we've tried a few different things... maybe they will work for the two of you. While feeding, especially in the mornings, lay in bed and have him lay with you. Feed and then let him burp! Pump so that he can feed too.

Stina - posted on 08/01/2009

lol my DH and I were talking about this the other day. He said BFing is the ONLY pass guys get... everything else, no excuse- Guys have to help in every other way.





Since your husband missed the first couple of months, he probably feels he can't care for the baby like you do. Give him plenty of opportunity... go for walks sans baby. And ask him to do things specifically or by giving him options to choose from.



"Honey, would you like to give him a bath or put his pj's on after I bathe him?"



This gives your husband the ability to work w/in his comfort zone. My hubby still prefers not to bathe infants because he's afraid of looseing his hold... but 3 kids later, he'll bathe the baby instead of playing candyland with the other two lol.



Or ask point blank.



"Sweetie, could you burp the baby?"



When he does take part in the care, don't hover. We mom's have a nasty unintentional habit of hovering and making our guys feel they aren't doing things right by our body language and or our well intended suggestions. He'll figure it out and if he wants your help he'll ask.



Be it with child care or help around the house, always ask for a specific task rather than "why don't you help with more childcare/housework etc."

User - posted on 08/01/2009

From the time our daughter was born, my husband really enjoyed reading to her - and a book (or two) and prayer is still the part of her bedtime routine that is "Daddy time" - unless Daddy's not home.

If you can get him to do a "fun" thing with the baby on a regular basis (books, toys, etc), he may be more willing to help with the "other stuff" (diapers, baths, etc) as he becomes more comfortable with the baby.

Erin - posted on 08/01/2009

when my 1st was a baby, my husband would sit next to us while she was nursing and tickle her feet and rub her head, anything to keep her awake.he also changed the majority of the diapers and gave baths. he would also just cuddle the baby when she was sleeping and play with her while awake

Ashley - posted on 08/01/2009

as a new mom you are probably in need of some sleep, as a way to get my husband involved and to get some much needed z's i pumped enough for a few bottles and slept, my husband was happy to be able to help with the baby, like Kristin said, more than anything he didn't know how to help.

Kristin - posted on 08/01/2009

Congrats for having your husband back with your new family. I'm sure he's feeling a little overwhelmed and maybe even a little bit guilty. You could suggest that while you're feeding the baby, he read a book to the baby, or sing to the baby, or even just talk to him. Or perhaps before/after each feeding, he could do a lotion massage on the baby to help bond. Also, make sure that if there's something you would like your husband to be doing that you are communicating that with him. My husband wanted to help, he just didn't know what to do to be helpful. Just some suggestions! Hope your family is blessed with much happiness!