How do i get my son to settle at night?

Beck - posted on 03/06/2010

Fiona, this is a response I gave to another mum who was having trouble with her 11mth old. It goes on and on but I thought there may be something in there for you.

Beck

My son is one next week and has only slept through 5 times since birth...3 in the past 3 nights WAHOO!!! Anyway, I have had some success and thought I would share some advice. I dont see not bathing at night a problem, we do, but what ever your routine exsists of it fine as long as its the same every time.
I dont believe tht controlled crying is the only way!!!! I used to have the same problem with my little man. My bub is a low sleep requirement baby, meaning they only need 8-14hrs sleep in 24hrs. We do the following and it works a treat!! plus its getting better and better!! as I said especially the past 3 nights! 7pm-6am (drink of water) then retucked in and back off to sleep til 7.30am!
Corey wakes usually around 7am he has a bfeed then breakfast
9.30 milk (bfeed for now) and fruit for morning tea
11.20 lunch - meat, vegies, carb (rice / pasta / potato) then desert (yoghurt)
12noon bed time (usually sleeps 2-2.5hrs!!)
2.30 milk (bfeed) and arvo tea (cheese on toast / avacardo and ham on crackers, pikelts etc)
5.20 tea (vegies and carb)
6pm Nudie time (clothes off play)
6.15 bath time
6.30 out of bath
6.35 milk
6.45 story time
6.55 into cot

We also do the nappy change, story then bedtime routine at 11.45 before lunch time sleep.
Cuddle on couch whilst reading - household calm, whilst reading we say before, during and after "nearlt time for nigh, nigh" "nealry time to find teddy" etc
Good night to anyone at home - kiss
then into bed room
We lay bub in our arms and rock him whilst we sing twinkle, twinkle, then lay him in his cot with his teddy (loves his bedtime ted)
We tuck him in tight - shoving a towel rolled up down either side to keep him in firm. Corey starts on his side. We dont have to tuck him as tight now that he sleeps so well.
We then rub his back and legs and say
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh time to sleep"
" sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh mummy and daddy love you"
"sshh, sshh, sshh, sshh nigh, nigh"

we repeat this twice, then stop rubbing and walk out. Corey now never needs re settleing but at first if he did put up a fight we would go in - shut the door behind us so there is no confusion that he is getting up then repeat the sshh, shh..... and out. It only ever took going in twice maybe three times.

When he wakes and has had a decent sleep (if he ever wakes under and hour we do the sshh, sshh to get him back off for at least 1hr 20mins) we walk in and say "good sleeping bubba" happy and bright and get him up. This way he knows the difference between when you are expecting him to go back off and when he can hop up.

If he wakes during the night we go in (maybe give him a sip of water), re plug the dummy, re tuck him in and do the sshh, sshh - we are in and out in under 1 min and he always (except when teething and needs a shot of panadol) settles in one go.

He seems to know now when he needs more sleep and that he needs to go back off. He can now resettle himself too which he could never do, occasionally he will yell out once then go back off. We now wait, he will yell out, we wait, he may yell once or twice more and go back off. We were rushing in and therfore always helping him back to sleep. Now we wait only a minute or two and he goes back off. Anymore than that and we go in. Some people wait longer.

Our little man is also gogogogo and is happy with no sleep, that was always the problem, he would be happy so I would not fight him to go back off so it formed BAD habits. Now he is an even happier bub.

We must make sure he doesn't sleep when we are out in the pram or car before 12noon otherwise it can muck it up (occasionally its fine we have learnt to addapt) but we try to hold him out til 12 so he has one good sleep.

We read 'Dream Baby guide' from Shayne Rowling which is where our above addapted routine is from. We started when Corey was 6mths and it changed our life.

Good luck, its so hard. You have done well, Corey was still doing the same as your bub at 6mths and I had had enough!! I love my sleep and had to do something quick!

P.S I never thought Corey would cut all his night feeds (at 6mths) as like you he was still feeding severla times a night in our bed just to get him back to sleep. Its all about creating sleep associations and the same environment so when they go to sleep its the same when they wake up so they can think 'ok, all the same, goodo, off to sleep again!" This is why its important to be out of the room when they go to sleep, cos of course if you have them back in their cot you are not there when they wake between sleep cycles. We were expecting to HAVE to use controlled crying with Corey at 6mths but never had to using this above routine (and many more hints from the book) - like having a heater in his room set at 21degrees in winter, using a sleeping bag etc and lots of other day time communication things. This is just a wrap up for you... would love to think it works for you like it does us.... fingers crossed for you!!!

Email me for more info if you would like

Sorry, I could go on all day!!

Beck - posted on 03/06/2010

Id say your right re the food intake during the day and him not being hungry, its just habit now. We started a sleep routine with our bub at 6mths cos we were not getting any sleep and I LOVE my sleep! We used no controlled crying and though its not perfect it does get better by the day and Corey (one on Sunday) does 12hrs 7-7 at night where he only wakes once for us to go in and give him a sip of water and plug his dummy back in (usually around 5-6am) A few times he has even gone through!! Wahoo, big time from the hourly wakings and 4-6 feeds a night that we were doing. Corey still has 4 bfeeds a day but the last being 6.30pm to 7am. You want a bedtime routine and ritual that you do every time he wakes so he knows its still bedtime. For example, we do...
nudie time, bath, bfeed, story, into cot room, we then do...
Sing twinkle, twinkle while rocking him, we then tuck him in with his dummy and teddy and say "shh, shh, shh, shh time for sleeps, shh, shh, shh, shh Mummy and Daddy love you, shh, shh, shh, shh nigh, nigh, shh, shh, shh, shh time for sleeps, shh, shh, shh, shh Mummy and Daddy love you, shh, shh, shh, shh nigh, nigh" then leave the room - while he is still awake. If he wakes during the night we go in and do the shh, shh, shh etc, re tuck him in and leave. He has learnt to go to sleep by him self and to re settle if he wakes during the night. In the morning we have a different saying for when it is time to get up so there is no confusion for him. Let me know if you need any more info re sleep routines or food intake during the day. Good luck

Simone - posted on 03/05/2010

I started having trouble with my 7 1/2 month old daughter going to sleep. Started keeping her up as long as possible making sure to keep her busy. Then I give her a bath, get her ready for bed and lay with her while playing a lullaby cd and feed her. Once she is alseep I leave her where she is for another hour or so (all blocked in with pillows so she can't roll off my bed) and then put her in her own bed. There are also times when I just put her in her bed and let her cry if she isn't going to sleep and I've tried everything. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to so you don't loose your mind. We go thru stages where she will sleep thru the night for a while, then it's up a few times at night and also every 2hrs with her wanting to eat. I think she is going thru a growth spurt when she is up every 2 hrs. Hope this helps to know you aren't the only one out there going thru this, good luck.