How do I stop breastfeeding my son?

Jessica - posted on 12/02/2009

Another bonus to babywearing/nursing is that now the weather is dipping lower so layering is SO much easier. I have two nursing tanks I found at Target.com and they are GREAT for covert nursing.

Minnie - posted on 12/02/2009

Quoting Veronica:

Thanks a lot for everybody's comments. I have a 2 year old daughter and my 13month old son. My daughter was only breastfed for a short period of time, as a newborn. So I feel like she doesn't get as enough attention from me, since as soon as I come home from work I am nursing my son.

Regarding this and your concern over stopping to nurse when out and about- This product is excellent:

http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/

I have one and love it, and I know every other mom who has one does as well.  Strap baby in, and when he wants to nurse just pull your top down and he'll latch on.

A sling, wrap, or mei tai works as well.

Jessica - posted on 12/02/2009

Quoting Veronica:

Thank you guys very much. I don't make my son work for me to feed him...I feed all the time when he wants, all I am saying is that I have been trying to give him the cup also, which he refuses to take from me. I want to get to the point where I can take him out and not have to pause to breastfeed him. I don't mind feeding him, I actually enjoy it because I know he loves it. His father has been pressuring me to stop breastfeding him because he doesn't connect well with his father, more with me. After reading your responses, I think I will stick with it. Thanks a lot!

I've been EBF with my youngest and she's a total daddy's girl.  Don't let some man tell you to stop just because he's all jealous.  Maybe he and your son can find their own 'thing'.  I used to hand my daughter over to her dad for burps.  I could never get her to burp, and within two minutes of him holding her, she would let out a huge burp! 

I can't help but get all anthropological here.... many fathers end up placing too much emphasis on their sons to 'be manly' VERY early in age.    Seeing their sons so dependant (grabby, whiny, whatever) makes them feel like their son is soft or something.  Totally not the case, and I like to blame it on testosterone and societies' unwavering ability to mislead and misinform.  Time with his son without expectation (let play BE play, let baby BE baby) will help his feeling of being disconnected. 

Veronica - posted on 12/02/2009

Thanks a lot for everybody's comments. I have a 2 year old daughter and my 13month old son. My daughter was only breastfed for a short period of time, as a newborn. So I feel like she doesn't get as enough attention from me, since as soon as I come home from work I am nursing my son.

Daniele - posted on 12/02/2009

If you are considering weaning your son because you don't want to nurse him in public, don't. I started taking an extra 30 minutes or so before we left to really nurse my daughter and then just tell her gently, but firmly while we're out that "no, you can't nurse now. you can nurse later." and give her a sippy cup (well, straw cup in our case). The cup either has milk or water in it and I usually have snacks. It keeps her busy while we're out and she usually doesn't complain. I've been doing this since she was about 13 months old, or so. It's all about finding what works for you and sticking with it. Just be firm and don't waver. If you make one exception, he will be waiting for you to make another one. Good luck!

Dassie - posted on 12/01/2009

HI Veronica,
I wanted to give you a different perspective, since so far most people have been saying keep breastfeeding. I am a huge breastfeeding supporter and I love it. I thought I would just nurse my daughter forever like till 2 BUT a couple of things happened. I want to get pregnant again and I still havent gotten my period back (after stopping b.c. 3 months ago), she was asking for it a lot, and she wasnt eating so well and I heard that could help. (My daughter is 15 months). Soooo in the end after stressing so much I just tried to cut down to only 3 times a day for naps and thats it, and then after like a few days she barely would ask me. If she did try and lift up my shirt I would just pick her up an d hold her and it was fine. Now 2 weeks later she's basically weaned. I still nurse her like every other day but I dont think there is much in there. In just that first week she goes to bed by herself very nicely, is sleeping through the night again and is eating a ton! If she asks to nurse , it either means shes tired and I put her in the crib or she's hungry and I feed her. I still love nursing but she's doing great even without it, so just remember you do have choices. You can try limiting and she what happens and it might turn out to be good.

Tricia - posted on 12/01/2009

My son is home 12 hours a day with his dad while I work, but when I get home, all he wants is me. It's not that he doesn't like his dad or hasn't bonded with him, it's just that at this stage of his life, he wants his mom more. But you have to keep in mind: this is just a stage. When he's 8, he'll like his dad better. When he's 14, he won't like either of you. :-)

Jaime - posted on 12/01/2009

My son acted like that after I had weaned him (because my ob suggested it because i got pregnant) so i would say that he just loves his mommy!! of course he also loves breastfeeding, and who wouldn't? I regret weaning my first son so early (9 months) and wish that i would have continued in spite of what my doctor said. Cherish the bond you have with him now, because you will never be as close as you are right now!

Amber - posted on 12/01/2009

ur welcome sweetie:)

Veronica - posted on 12/01/2009

Thank you guys very much. I don't make my son work for me to feed him...I feed all the time when he wants, all I am saying is that I have been trying to give him the cup also, which he refuses to take from me. I want to get to the point where I can take him out and not have to pause to breastfeed him. I don't mind feeding him, I actually enjoy it because I know he loves it. His father has been pressuring me to stop breastfeding him because he doesn't connect well with his father, more with me. After reading your responses, I think I will stick with it. Thanks a lot!

Amber - posted on 12/01/2009

Quoting Leticia:

my doctor says to slowly take it away from him. he's already used to not having you when you're at work (im guessing you're gone like 10 hrs?) so replace his bedtime feeding at first with regular milk in a cup, and then after a week or so take another feeding away. by the end of the month he should be completely weaned. he will probably scream at first but yuo have to be firm with it.my son was the same way and same with my daughter. she wont take formula at all, so come jan when she turns 1 i'm going to slowly wean her off breastmilk and onto a cup of cows milk

DO NOT listen to this person they clearly do not know anything . Keep breastfeeding .. Your baby isnt using as a pacifier .There is milk its just accustomed to ur babys nursing sessions .keep it up until ur baby wants to wean :) Breastmilk is the best of the best .It makes super babys!!!! he he

Leticia - posted on 12/01/2009

my doctor says to slowly take it away from him. he's already used to not having you when you're at work (im guessing you're gone like 10 hrs?) so replace his bedtime feeding at first with regular milk in a cup, and then after a week or so take another feeding away. by the end of the month he should be completely weaned. he will probably scream at first but yuo have to be firm with it.my son was the same way and same with my daughter. she wont take formula at all, so come jan when she turns 1 i'm going to slowly wean her off breastmilk and onto a cup of cows milk

Nicole - posted on 12/01/2009

He is not trying to control you. He misses you and loves you. Breastfeeding is not just about nutrition (although it is great nutrition), it is also comfort. He wants to nurse when you come in from work because he has missed you and in his mind, when you nurse him, you are saying "I love you".



This is also a perfect time to try to introduce manners about wanting to nurse instead of just pulling on your shirt. But, don't have high expectations, 13 months is still very young. It's just an introduction.



I bet that if you nursed him when he wanted and didn't make him try so hard for it (nurse on demand) that he will actually feel less seperation anxiety and cling to you less, because he will know that his needs will be met when his mom is around. Studies show that extended breastfed babies are actually more independent.



There are so many benefits to breastfeeding beyond the first year of life. Not just for him, but for you! You will continue to reduce your risk of breast, ovarian and uterine cancers!



Just remember that he wants to nurse because he loves you and nursing is his way of knowing that you love him.



Good luck and I hope things get better.

Minnie - posted on 12/01/2009

Shouldn't you be flattered? :)



For the record, he's not using you as a pacifier. Pacifiers are substitutes for mom.



My own 13 month old nurses very frequently, and she does attemt to pull the top of my shirt down- but she knows that she can use her words, and also the sign for milk, so when she tugs at my shirt I remind her her nursing word and sign.



13 months is barely out of infancy- you can't expect etiquette and manners! I don't see it as 'controlling' - your child is at your mercy. I see it as meeting my daughter's physical and emotional needs by continuing to nurse her.



Please be aware that the World Health Organization recommends nursing for a minimum of two years.