How do you get your infant to sleep in his own bed?

Shelby - posted on 06/12/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Hi Ladies, I have a son who will be 3 mons next week.. I am breastfeeding and currently Co-Sleeping with him. Hubby sleeping in other room because he has to work the next day and needs his sleep. Cannot be up 2-3 times a night. Would like Jordan to sleep in his own bed, but when i try and put him down for a nap during the day he just cries and cries then if he falls asleep he only sleeps for 30 to 40 min or so. Anyone else ever had this problem? How do you get your baby to sleep by himself and learn how to self sooth and not use me as the passy? He sleeps for 3 hours in the swing no problem. I cannot stand the crying in the crib... it just breaks my heart he is so upset and does not want to be there. Has anyone else had this problem? His Doctor said it is a fine line some babies are more needy than others. She said don't let him get to the point of no return but go in when he is upset pick him up calm hime down put hi m back.

Who is she kidding? He is upset and wants to nurse to calm down. If i put him back in he just gets upset again. Not to mention i am not getting much sleep with him in bed with me. If i nurse him in bed and he falls asleep, as soon as i try to move away from him and get comfy myself.. he wakes up. Guess he just loves being close to mommy. lol. So any ideas?

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Sarah - posted on 06/12/2009

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I have a 5 month old who sounds very similar to your son. We have just spent the last 3 weeks teaching her to sleep in her own bed and not to be wanting to feed or cozy in through the night. We were advised by our health visitor to put her down in her cot at her bed time and then not to take her out of it till she would be needing a feed - ie, 4 hours. We were not allowed to look at her and when she cried could not pick her up. It was the worst thing ever but she is now sleeping 7pm till 7am so in my eyes was so worth while. The first night she cried for an hour and a half and then fell asleep and slept till 5am, second night she only cried for 30 mins and slept till 5.30am, then each night gradually cried less and slept longer till now goes down no problem and sleeps right through. It is really hard but I was really just so tired, partner works shifts and I have another child, so had to do something. My daughter seems so much happier as well having had a great sleep. Don't know if this helps any!

Minnie - posted on 06/12/2009

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I don't believe its in an infant's best interest to sleep alone.



http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles...



The biology of breastfeeding goes hand in hand with co-sleeping. It is no coincidence that breasfteeding is incredibly easy while sleeping next to your child. Your child's physiological and social needs are best cared for with him in your arms during the night.



It is only western culture that pushes early independence on our children in the form of sleeping alone. The vast majority of mothers the world over sleep with their babies in their arms at night, as does every other species of mammal.

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Jennifer - posted on 07/09/2009

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I'm in the same boat. My son is 4 months old. I take him to bed to BF and I just try to wait till he's asleep to put him in his crib. He does finally like his mobile and will sometimes stare at it when he wakes up.

Shelby - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting erin:

I don't have an answer for you but I just wanted to say that my son and I are having the same struggle right now. The instant his head touches his crib, he wakes and cries and I too don't have the heart to let him cry...yet! Just thought I'd let you know cause misery loves company! Good luck!


Erin thanks.. its nice to know i am not the only one.. lol he was really tired yesterday and cried it out a little and slept for 3 hours in the pack n play.. so it can be done.  I am like you cannot stand to hear the little man get sooo upset.  Someone told me to set the timer on the stove for 5 min.. when it goes off go in to him.. that way you know how much time has passed before you run in.  it worked yesterday he fell asleep within a min or two.. yes the timer is for mom but it worked.. will have to try it again tomorrow.. he fell asleep in the swing today and did not want to move him.. good luck to you to.. 

Shelby - posted on 07/09/2009

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that sounds like a good idea... we are thru with all the company at the end of the month.. i am in a two bedroom.. will be getting crib then for him.. right now have the pack and play.. but putting him in awake to play may help thanks.

Erin - posted on 06/13/2009

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I don't have an answer for you but I just wanted to say that my son and I are having the same struggle right now. The instant his head touches his crib, he wakes and cries and I too don't have the heart to let him cry...yet! Just thought I'd let you know cause misery loves company! Good luck!

Christine - posted on 06/13/2009

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We started off with our daughter in a bassinette beside the bed but my husband couldn't sleep with her in the room so after about a month and a half of sleeping in separate rooms we decided to move our daughter to her crib. My mom bought us a mobile and I found that really helped our daughter to like her crib. I would put her in her crib a couple of times through out the day and turn on the mobile so she could watch it and she developed a positive assoication with her crib. This made it easier to get her to nap and eventually sleep in her crib.

Vanessa - posted on 06/13/2009

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Yes...all babies just love being close to Mummy, thats exactly what they expect.
i breastfeed and co-sleep and trust my children will leave my side when they are ready.

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I have to take a different approach here, gals, and say just do it. If he wakes up, by all means nurse him, but not in your bed. Get a comfy rocking chair next to his crib and feed him there. My oldest was a finicky sleeper and would wake up when I put her down too, and she always had to throw a fit before she would sleep.

And your poor husband...doesn't he deserve to sleep in his own bed with his own wife? My husband is not bothered by me getting up at night. He would be more bothered if he was stuck sleeping somewhere else. Don't forget that your relationship is still a huge priority for you. Baby is important, yes, but he needs his parents to be happy together too.

Neshamah - posted on 06/12/2009

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If you're not ready and you're baby's not ready, then hopefully your hubby isn't either. Hubbies can learn to sleep through it or you can hopefully find some other quality time together other than sleeping together at night a this point in time. You'll know when you're ready to do the hard transition of baby to his own bed and won't feel guilty about it when you are.

I still let my son co-sleep and he's 13 months, and no, hubby and I don't get the best nights' rest when he does. He used to join us at first night feeding when he was younger. Now he usually sleeps in his own bed until anywhere b/n 2-5 and then joins us in bed. This didn't start until around 10-11 months. Before that he was in bed almost all night. I also nurse him still and have always been able to sleep right through it and therefore get better sleep than not co-sleeping.

Hubby once in a while asks if I'm ready to quit breastfeeding but ultimately it's baby's and my decision and he respects that and just rolls over and tries to find a comfy spot on the bed. The most difficult times are when baby is sick.

Good luck figuring out what works for your family.

Katrina - posted on 06/12/2009

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I had a similar problem with my daugter and the solution was that she just wasn't ready to be away from me. We still co-sleep for the most part and she's 19 months old, but to break the boob as pacifier habit I would keep her snuggled and unlatch her when I knew she was sleeping and then would pat her bottom. It didn't take long for her to stop using me as a pacifier and we both sleep so much better. When she was 7 months old she was sleeping through the night in her own crib but we had some major life changes happen and she resorted back to needing comfort and we have been back and forth with her n her bed to partially co-sleeping to her being in our bed all night - it depends on what she needs at the time. I guess I'm trying to say that you have to listen to your child and what you think is best for him. Hubby can learn to sleep through a waking baby especially since a co-sleeping breast feeder only cries until they are fed.



I think that soothing your child by holding him without offering the breast is a good way to help him learn that there are other comforts.

Courtney - posted on 06/12/2009

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I found the best book! "the No-Cry Sleep Solution" It helped me transition my daughter at 4 months from co-sleeping to her own crib. It is a long process, but I can see it working. She has not slept with me for 2 months and slept for 5 hours in a row the other day! I can not listen to her cry herself to sleep and I don't feel that it is necessary, There is another way!

Tara - posted on 06/12/2009

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Have you tried rocking and singing your baby to sleep and then putting him in his crib? This works for my son.

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