How do you respond to the "When are you going to stop breastfeeding?" Question?

Leslie - posted on 03/06/2011

My little guy is almost two and now that he's saying "mama nana" when he wants to nurse I feel even less prepared to wean. It's been a long road -- I've had to supplement with domperidone and personally hate pumping (to keep the supply up) but neither he nor I are near ready to quit. I nurse him back to sleep when he wakes at night or in the morning whether its 4,5, or 6 a.m. I thought I'd stop when he turned two, but now think we may go until three or when he self-weans. Only my mother and inlaws seem to be interested in discussing how much longer this will go on; it drives my mother nuts and keeps my inlaws from getting their grandbaby over nite... Good luck.

Ashlee - posted on 03/04/2011

"When you start minding your own business." No no, I honestly answer with, "It depends on how well it goes when she gets teeth, and if that goes well, until she weans herself. Why would I want to wean my child off of something great for her, to move her to something that isn't anywhere near as great. Stupid question." And there usually isn't much talk afterwards :]

Starla - posted on 03/03/2011

I'm still nursing my 3 yr/4mo boy. I/ve learned that the longer I nurse, the lesser chance that I'll have breast cancer. Noone argues w/that one.

Tosha - posted on 03/03/2011

Sara, good for you. I had to give up nursing when I got pregnant again. I just wasn't producing enough milk any more. My son was 9 mos. and the doctor said he wasn't gaining weight like he had been. He was also biting me hard at every feeding.
If you can keep it up, more power to you!

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2011

I would give a short answer that is blunt. People seem to want to ask questions like that over and over. It's like they cannot think of anything else to ask you about, always just mom questions. Just tell them she is self-weaning and that she IS only a year old.

Vanja - posted on 03/02/2011

Just as an encauragement - I breastfed my girl until she was 4, and still b'feeding my boy who is 2 and 8 months... It is noones business but yours and your childs... If you both enjoy it - go for it. It's great bonding, calming down and relaxing space for both of you. So, good on you for doing what realy is the most natural !!! PS: Where do you live ??? Here in Australia breastfeeding seems to be pretty supported by the officials like GPs or Maternal nurses...
Good Luck !!!

Amy - posted on 03/02/2011

"When he decides to stop." My first two tandem nursed until 33mos and 18 mos, respectively. I was pregnant and milk dried up, otherwise my first might still be nursing @ nite and the middle one was already losing interest.



Now that he has another baby brother nursing, he giggles with delight to occasionally get a squirt of milk. He can actually make it squirt/hand express better than I can LOL.

Jill - posted on 03/02/2011

Just say, "When people stop bugging me about it!" Just kidding! Better yet,say, "Why, you want a turn?" or, "Don't worry, I'll save you some." You could always offer to go into the breastmilk cheese or icecream business with them. Humor works.

Bernadette - posted on 03/01/2011

"When she's ready"



I thought I'd probably feed my daughter until she was about 12 months, but we ended up going until 17 months when she decided to stop on her own (I was pregnant again by then, which may have had something to do with it). Until then she just showed no interest in stopping and I didn't have the heart to deny her, as she wouldn't have a bottle and it really was a nice bonding time and it was a bond I was also a little reluctant to break when it came down to it. When she did eventually stop, I actually cried over it because that was the one thing that I, alone, could provide for her and suddenly it was gone. I have to admit, by then I was a little over it and until the day actually came, I was hoping she'd stop soon, but I also didn't try to force her to wean as she was receiving so much comfort and nutrition from it. She would cry if I denied her; why would I want to make my child cry by denying something so basic that she still needed - if not physically, then emotionally?

Ruth - posted on 03/01/2011

my little one is 17 months old and I still breastfeed her but she is starting to ween herself I started her on cows milk when she was 12 months old but has still been feeding to sleep but now no longer feeds to sleep at night but still wakes for a feed at about 3.30am and I keep getting told shes not really hungry so just offer water but she feeds for 40 mins so i think she must be hungry i have been getting told to stop bf since she was 3 months old, I just tell them she is my child and I will raise her how I see fit if they have a problem with it then its got to do with them not me.

Misty - posted on 03/01/2011

I just said when my DD wants to wean herself. Which she did earlier than I had hoped cuz I got pregnant again but when they ask me that about her brother I will say the same thing.

Tosha - posted on 03/01/2011

I would answer, when she doesn't want it anymore or before she starts school, whichever is sooner. The latter part being sort of a joke to keep the conversation light-hearted.

Christina - posted on 03/01/2011

I tell people that when she is ready to wean, she will. My daughter is 21 months and we still nurse. Good Luck. :)

Courtney - posted on 03/01/2011

My plan was to let my children self wean and that is just what we did and I would tell people when he/she is ready. Well I finally got sick of my SIL asking me over and over again so one day I looked at her and said "well you know there are plenty of nearby colleges so I can just pop in for a snack whenever he needs it." Needless to say she never asked again with him and when my second nursed even longer she never said a word to me either.

Paula - posted on 03/01/2011

I had to laugh b/c I used to get that a lot with my son. I BF’d him till he was 17 months. At that point he was only getting fed before he went to sleep. With my daughter, who is now 8 months, I plan on stopping when she’s a year. I really didn’t care what people thought. This was my baby and I was going to BF as long as my child wanted. By 17 months, I was getting tired of doing it and it was more out of habit. If it’s a family member asking, I would basically tell them "I’ll stop when my daughter is ready”. If it’s a stranger, I’d say “Mind your day-um business” (LOL!)

Alicia - posted on 03/01/2011

My son just turned 2 and I get the same question..I am not ready and neither is he to quit breatfeeding. I am planning on weening him away from the nursing, but in my own time....It depends on the child, and your situation what is best for you. Do not let anyone try to convince you other wise. I do not see anything wrong with breast feeding, and some people breast feed until the child turns 3. It is what seems to fit in best for your home.

Surata - posted on 03/01/2011

I usually say shell stop before she goes to college. Natural weaning is between ages 2_7 ! Your right its the best thing for her. I would pump and get rid of the formula. Try goats milk instead of cow its easier to digest and is closer ti breast milk. My DD is almost 3 and still going strong. Its her choice not mine.

Ronnisha - posted on 03/01/2011

I only breastfed my oldest two until they were 18 months then stop. I get tired of the question til now I just say is it ur boob then mind ur business. I am currently breastfeeding my 13month old and we will stop when she is ready.

Keila - posted on 03/01/2011

This is one of the question that many people ask me to.. My son is 2 year and 1 month old and he still breastfeed.. I always said that I would stop when he stop... I said that this is the best thing for him and that why I don't spend many time in doctor with him...

Natalie - posted on 03/01/2011

I wouldn't let people know I am...its none of their business but as they do already know I would just say...when I feel its the right time too...also worth pointing out that lots and lots of mums I know still give their kids bottles and they are now around the two mark ...which to be honest I think is crazy ! but I never hear anyone question them about this, yet my SIL breastfeed till about 14 months and she was being pestered constantly by people asking the same as you ! such a double standard ! I BF my eldest till 11 months and then she self weaned, I was half and half by then so I don't think people thought I even was anymore so I was saved this kind of rude questioning

Cherish - posted on 02/28/2011

"When you learn that my breasts are none of your business!"

Misun - posted on 02/28/2011

My son will be 2 next month. Dylan weaned himself off breastmilk right around 8months. Try searching "baby led weaning". I formula fed him until 13months and now he loves his whole milk.

Jessica - posted on 02/28/2011

Just say "oh I don't know"... then turn around and ask "when did you stop nursing?" that way you put the pressure back on the other person and it's NOT on you anymore unless you want it to be about you... but by the sounds of it you don't want the attention of this subject.

as for me ppl have stopped asking because i'm becoming a lac educator :)

Nicole - posted on 02/28/2011

Well,I got asked that with each of my children and my answer was always the same.." whenever he/she is ready to stop we will".....My oldest went 9 months, my 2nd went 22 months and my 3rd just recently weaned at 34 months and I plan to breastfeed my next child,due 7/1/11, also....Just let everybody know that you have decided to do child self-weaning and try not to let it bother you too much...

Diane - posted on 02/28/2011

I always say 'When he/she is ready' after saying this a few times people finally stoped asking. And now with babies 3 and 4 no one asks me anymore.

Erin - posted on 02/28/2011

I read a good one a few years back. When asked that just say "Why don't you give me your number and I'll give you a call when that day comes".

Shari - posted on 02/28/2011

I nursed my son until he was almost 2.5 years. When I stopped, it was bc HE weaned himself, which is how I wanted it. In any case, i dealt with A LOT of judgmental looks and comments. Sometimes I would respond by trying to educate people about why BF is so good for everyone...even after 1 year. Other times, I would honestly look at people and say, "My baby, my body, my business." They usually looked uncomfortable and dropped the subject. I must admit, however, that there wre times I just avoided nursing in public bc I didn't want to deal with all of it. Still, in the end, I am SO glad I did it the way I wanted and that I didn't allow society to dictate to me what I did. I mean, if someone is uncomfortable with it, then that's THEIR problem. :)

Glenda - posted on 02/28/2011

Just tell them that she'll wean when she's ready. Personally, I don't "advertise" that I still nurse my 23-month-old just because people give me "that look" or say, "You're STILL nursing?" It's a personal choice and really no one else's business, but you don't want to be rude of course. You just nurse as long as the 2 of you want and ignore everyone else. :)

Pamela - posted on 02/28/2011

I've never really gotten this question from anyone. My son's 30 months and we're still doing it about 3-4 times a day, depending on whether he's at the sitter or not.

I honestly don't know how I'd respond. If it was someone who was generally curious, I'd probably say "whenever it's right for us and maybe add something about how it's nice to have it in your mom toolkit." If it was someone rude, I'd probably clam up and say that it's none of their business.

CHRISTIE - posted on 02/28/2011

Congratulations on breastfeeding for the first year!!! That is the most important!!! Now that she is able to go on whole milk you can wean her at any time. All babies are different, I have 4 kids and they all weaned at different times. The longest was 15 months. The last 2 months was only 2x a day, at nap time and at bedtime. He probably would have continued to breastfeed but I just felt like it was time so I cut out one feeding then about 2 weeks later I stopped the other feeding. When you decide to wean her, just listen to her, she will let you know if she is not ready!!!

Kelly - posted on 02/28/2011

I would think that people will stop asking you about this before too long but, regardless, I personally wouldn't share unless it's a very close friend who is just curious about how you mother, you know? I breastfeed until mine are around three unless they quit on their own before that, and NO one asks past 18 months at the max. I've also breastfed through several pregnancies and have the older baby continue to nurse after I have the new baby (though I'm not into doing both at the SAME time).

No one really needs that information from you. If someone asked, I'd shrug and say, "I don't know...we'll see." If it were a nosey person who seemed to WANT me to quit, I'd tell them I was planning to breastfeed until highschool. :) Or, I might say..."don't worry...I don't know anyone who stayed home from college because they weren't weaned yet."

The facts are that it's good for your baby/child. It's perfect food for them and it still benefits them long after they hit 12 months, both physically and emotionally. Just like the question "Are you having more?" it's really not anyone's business but your own and since you may not even have specific plans for quitting...you don't have to give any, just because they ask.

Angela - posted on 02/28/2011

i always say "when she's ready" and at 2 my daughter isn't ready yet! Formula isn't what is best for any baby, although its sometimes what fits a situation. I do what I can to keep my kids healthy and that includes my milk, from the tap.
If anyone questions why I do what I do, I typically inform them that breastfeeding beyond a year is recommended by the AAP, and the WHO recommends at least 2 years. If anyone thinks there is a specific age when breastfeeding is no longer appropriate, I invite them to answer WHY. And when they give their "well-thought-out" answer I inform them why that's not the case (every answer I've received has been complete crap, by the way).

Bexie - posted on 02/28/2011

It's your decision!!! I nursed my daughter until she was almost 2 and then due to other issues we had to stop. But if not for these we would most likely just be starting do some weaning as she'll be 3 in less than a month. But there is nothing wrong with you wanting to nurse your daughter. So if that is what's right for your family than go for it and ignore everyone else. It's not about them....it's about you and your child.

Ashley - posted on 02/28/2011

I wasnt mean about it but I said. When I was asked "when are you going to?" I said "when i do." simple and not mean lol. If they said "you really should stop" Id say "i really should do whats best". If they keep it up just be blunt about it. theyve really left you no choice. Now I only bf for 14 months but I would have gone a bit longer if my child wanted to :) Just listen to your babies needs and go from there.

Miranda - posted on 02/28/2011

Just reply that you will wean once you are both ready. I just weaned my 25 month old daughter. I did it cold turkey and she is handling it better than i thought. i was ready to not be used as a pacifier anymore lol. and she ended up with bottle syndrome so it was for her own good as well. keep up the good work and be happy with your decision. good luck!

Jenna - posted on 02/28/2011

I just tell people that I have no intentions of weaning my daughter and that she will stop nursing when she's ready.

Amy - posted on 02/28/2011

I have only been asked a couple of times. My daughter is 14mo old and she eats table food but also BF 2-3 times a day. I tell people that the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests nursing to "at least" a year, the Canadian Pediatric Society suggests 2 years and that UNICEF suggests nursing to "at least" 2 years. I then say that I am going to let her self wean and that I am cherishing every moment that I get to do that with her. Most people don't understand how healthy it is or how highly recommended. I take the opportunity to educate them ;-).

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2011

I nursed my daughter until she was a little over 2 years old and I would get this all the time! (which shocked me, to be honest-like it's anyone's business!)
So you can go the nice route of "I don't wean her, she will wean when she is ready and her body tells her to" or middle ground of "Well, breastmilk IS the best thing I can give her so to keep her healthy we'll continue" or the one I would sometimes say to close family when I was tired of it, "It's none of your business. She's my child" LOL. I think most often I just said "I don't know, whenever we're ready" though :)

Stacie - posted on 02/28/2011

You handle it by being confident about the decision you are making and the fact that you have chosen to continue breastfeeding. No one should question you or put you down for that decision and if they do, just nod and realize that you don't have to listen to what they say. You and your husband have made the choice that bm is what is best for her. Be confident! I breastfed my son, while working full time, until he was 14 months old. I really wanted to go until 24 mo but for reasons beyond my control, I couldn't. Sad. Don't care what other people say, this is your child.

Danielle - posted on 02/28/2011

LOL!!! I got that question a lot with both of my children. My daughter I nursed until she was 16 months. She never took a bottle from me...or from anybody if I was in the room...I pumped a lot so even when I was at work she only had BM. I always wished I did not wean her. There was a lot of tears from the both of us. I fell into pressure from others. My son I made sure he not only took a bottle from, but also his sister. I was also not going to fall into the pressures of others...I did grow tired of nursing towards the end...Since I really just became a huge human pacifier...And he started wanting to suckle constantly...I am couldn't even say how old he was when he was weaned...but it was after his 2nd birthday...But to those that asked that question...When are you going to stop breastfeeding...I gave them and eye roll and completely ignored that question and went on to the next subject like they never even said anything...I figured that if I had mastered being able to walk and nurse in the store w/o showing any skin and the his doctors thought it was great...and I got the "Good Job" look from other breastfeeding mom...Screw what everybody else thought!

Dawn - posted on 02/28/2011

I stopped just before my daughter turned 18 Months because it felt the right time for both of us. By that time she was only feeding at bedtime and when I stopped she didn't even notice! I used to get asked when I was going to stop but I just said when we are ready and that breast milk is the best for her - they soon shut up!!!

Samantha - posted on 02/28/2011

Well, imagine yourself from over a year from that point and the pressure gets even worse! My son is 26 months old and has been eating solids since 4 months, drinks soy milk and several other liquids....is a big kid at least in eating terms. But I am home full time with him and he nurses on demand, typically at naptime and bedtime and still sometimes at night. I don't get the questions directly, but I do get little comments and irritated sighs from family members mostly. I ignore it, because so many times through the past 2 years, I let people's judgment and pressure get to me over my choices for my child and I don't put up with it anymore. He has begun to show signs of self weaning, so I am not getting all uptight worrying about it or thinking he'll be nursing til school age and he is the healthiest 2 year old I know! Do what you know is right for your child and you. Bravo for sticking with it!

Jeannette - posted on 02/28/2011

I nursed until my son was 13.5 months. I still wish we would have nursed longer, though. Anyway, nobody really said anything to me about it. But if the did, depending on who it was I'd either say, "it's best to breastfeed for 2 years or I'd say", "I'm still breastfeeding because it is the best way to help while he is teething."

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2011

I think it's awful advice to advise a mother to wean her child just because the baby has teeth. So what about moms who's kids have teeth at a month or two? Breastfeeding does NOT lose it's benefits just because a child gets teeth. The AAP recommends a MINIMUM of a year breastfeeding. The WHO recommends a MINIMUM of TWO years. So no, a baby most definitely should not be weaned because they're biting. Babies can be taught not to bite.

Ruth - posted on 02/28/2011

Actually, babies are born with the sucking instinct and even suck their fingers in the womb. They really should be weaned from the breast when they start biting Mommy with their little razor sharp teeth, but should be allowed juice and water and even formula from a bottle until they start getting over their sucking instinct. My granddaughter weaned hers from the bottle as soon as she quit breast feeding and my great granddaughter started sucking her two middle fingers to make up for the sucking that was taken away and now has buckteeth. Let the sucking instinct start developing before you take her off, slowly, like one less bottle per day. Good luck.

Crystal - posted on 02/28/2011

"Whenever she feels like... probably before college though. I couldn't handle the commute."

That's how you handle it. Mine decided she was done with me at four months. I tried my dangdest to get her to go further. Every kid is different, and you're right, the BM is liquid gold and its awesome that she is still doing it.

Jennifer - posted on 02/28/2011

With DD, I allowed her to choose when she wanted to wean. She wound up nursing just past 3.5 years. My plan is the same with DS, but he's only 5.5 months old, so I'm sure we have a long road ahead of us yet!

With DD, I would just say "When she's ready." My family isn't asking any questions this time around, because I think they learned their lesson with asking weaning questions the first time around. lol. It will be interesting to see how DH's family handles it, though. I'm sure they are not used to people nursing past a year. My response will be the same, though.

Kunang - posted on 02/27/2011

Well technically you are in the process of weaning. So if its bothering you and you don't like confrontation just tell them you are. Personally when I'm asked I say the truth quite bluntly. Which is "I'm letting her self wean". There is a good article on kellymom. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.htm...

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2011

I have feed 6 out of 7 this way I would either try to change the subject or tell them when the child is ready to wean themselves or tell them before her 5th birthday

Minnie - posted on 02/27/2011

I just answer honestly. "When we're both ready."