How to cope with postnatal depression

Emma - posted on 12/21/2009

My baby is now 3 months and 3 weeks old i only have my partners support but he works 12 ours a day so i am home alone there for its just me i am now weaning her of breast milk as it is alot of pressure for me i had gone a week over and had to be induced at 8 in the morning and my contractions did not get full on untill 7 that night i then laboured for 22 hours got to 8 cm dialated no drugs then had an epidural with that they then found out she was posterior and then had to have an emergancy ceaser and through that i only had my partner i did not have any friends or family visit me in hospital as i just move interstate and did not know anyone.

Nicole - posted on 12/19/2009

I don't think I developed full blown depression, but I was highly emotional and sad after I had my son. I knew why though. In my case, I received all of my prenatal care from a midwife and had the goal of having a natural childbirth. I ended up going 2 weeks overdue, was induced with membrane rupture and pitocin, labored for six hours drug free making no progress at all. I took the epidural as my contraction pattern was basically one solid, constant contraction with multiple peaks and no break between. After a total of 21 hours after my membranes were ruptured, I was sent to the OR for a c section as I was only 6 cm dialated and was so exhausted that I do not remember my son having his first cry. I don't remember how I felt when I saw or held him for the first time. I don't remember his first feeding (although thankfully I have pictures of that).

Afterwards, he was developing jaundice so they put him under the lamps and I was not able to establish breastfeeding. They pressured me into giving him a bottle and we had nipple confusion... My milk came in and he rejected the breast. He was screaming and I had no idea what happened or how we got to the point we were at. Then, my partner left at 1 week postpartum to work away for three weeks. I felt helpless, depressed, alone, and like I didn't get one part of the birth experience I wanted. I felt personally rejected when my son wouldn't feed. It took a lot of support from my midwife to help me get feedings going so I focussed on that. I was feeling like a failure as a mother.

My advice is to find support from whoever will listen. If you are feeling this way because of the birth you had, try to find something that is within your control and acknowlege your accomplishments with it. I chose breastfeeding and when feeding was hard or painful, I'd tell myself that I was a good mother because I am pushing through and doing this for my son. After each feed I would feel like I was winning back a bit of the experience I lost in the hospital.

The midwives recommended evening primrose oil for the blues. I didn't end up taking any though, so I am not sure if it works. There are apparently lots of other natural things you can take for it as well.

How old is your baby? Are you alone?

Kerryn - posted on 12/18/2009

I wasted so many years of my life feeling like nothing was worth it... I love my children and husband but I just couldn't see past this aweful dark cloud that hung over me. I didn't understand why I felt like I did and it didn't seem to matter what I did I couldn't make it go away. My husband is one of those super dads that cooks, cleans changes nappies and hols a full time job.... yet I still felt like my world was falling down around me. I finally (after child number 3) went to see a doctor who prescribed a mild anti-depressant. I found this really difficult to take initially as I don't use much medication at all... not even for headaches!! However, I thought to myself that I would just give it a try. My life changed sooooooo much. I felt alive again, I saw the good in things, I had the energy to spend quality time with the kids, my libido returned, and I was back to my old self!!! My doctor says that because I have a significant family history of depression I will need to be on them for 5 years...... but I really don't care if I am on them for the rest of my life.... I would rather fell like this than be back in the black hole I was in....... I wasted several years of my life in the black hole.......

Speak to your doctor about how you are feeling..... get someone you trust to go to the appointment with you so that you can discuss with them their thoughts on the doctors opinion (as everyone interprets things a little bit differently and it is useful to have another set of ears there)

Juanita - posted on 12/18/2009

You've already taken the first step which is recognizing that you feel depressed and seeking help. That takes a lot of courage. I found a website with some information that may be helpful. Here's the link: http://www.womenshealth.gov/FAQ/depressi...

Anna - posted on 12/18/2009

If your birth experience wasn't what you were hoping for, it takes some time to heal from that. I don't know if this applies to you, but a lot of women who feel depressed afterwards had a bad time in hospital, like maybe feeling like you were pressured into procedures you didn't want or understand, or maybe your doctor/midwife didn't listen to you, or maybe you feel that your body was abused, or that you failed in some way. If you had to have drugs or surgery, or you had to be separated from your baby for a time after birth, all these things can block out the joy of getting to know your new baby. There can be a lot of reasons, but I think you have to give yourself time to grieve, talk to people you trust (if you want to), or try working through it yourself through a journal or drawing or however you like to express yourself. Good luck.