I feel guilty about not enjoying breastfeeding.

Christie - posted on 11/27/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 6 days old, and she's a great breastfeeder for the most part. On occation she has a bad latch and it hurts so bad that I just don't want to do it anymore. My nipples are sore and my breasts hurt and find that I can't stop crying. I don't want to give up. Will it get easier?

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Becky - posted on 11/27/2009

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The soreness is NORMAL. I remember being in the shower that early and crying because even the spray from the water was excruciating. I know it absolutely sucks, but it will pass. If you feel your daughter latching on incorrectly take her off the breast and put her back on again. Also, you could use a nipple shield for a few nursing sessions until you get the pain under control. I would recommend you go and see a lactation consultant, your hospital might have a clinic or you might be able to go see one at the postpartum unit. They can help make sure she is latching correctly and give you more tips. Hang in there, you can do it!!

Jenny - posted on 12/03/2009

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yes!!! i just hit three weeks, and my breastfeeding experience started off as a complete nightmare. the nurses in the hospital said my son wasn't latching well enough and told me to use a breast shield. they taught me how to use it incorrectly, so that by the time he was your daughter's age, he had lost 14% of his body weight, wasn't getting food, was crying constantly, and my nipples were torn to shreds (bleeding, blistering, oozing shreds). needless to say I was not enjoying breastfeeding. we had been home from the hospital for only a day when our pediatrician wanted to re-admit us both, but she hooked me up with a lactation consultant first, to give us a chance to try. after renting a hospital-grade pump and pumping and bottle feeding for five days, i was healed enough to try again. now he's latching beautifully and getting plenty of milk and -- this is the important part -- NO MORE PAIN!!! unless, of course, he latches incorrectly.

the key is latching. also, if it's a shooting pain up into the breast, it could be an infection, and not caused by the baby at all.



good luck! it really does get better, and it can be enjoyable once the pain goes away. oh, i use MaternaCare for after feeding. it really helps keep my nipples from burning, as they tend to do between feedings.

Jaime - posted on 11/28/2009

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There is light at the end of the tunnel!!! At first it might seem like your nipples are going to fall off, but you will build up calluses, and you eventually won't hurt at all! When she has an incorrect latch gently seperate her at the corner of her mouth with your finger to break suction, and let her try again.

It is normal for feel a little down right after giving birth. It is called the baby blues, and I felt awful after both my boys were born. Your hormones are changing, and you are all over the map of emotions in the meantime! If you continue to feel sad/depressed, and start to have violent/suicidal thoughts--- remember that that is your hormones, and talk to your ob immediately- it is nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to ALOT of women!!!

And congratulations for deciding to breastfeed, it is much easier than bottes, and better for all involved!!! It will get better, and soon you will be a proud mommy looking at your growing baby girl, knowing that she is growing from your milk!!! Good Luck!!!

Mandy - posted on 11/28/2009

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It gets better I promise! I would bawl trying to feed my son. It was such a blessing to be able to push through and show myself how strong I really was. I also was grateful I breastfed because it ended up that my son has terrible allergies and would have had to be on special formula-basically chemicals and it would have been very expensive. Good Luck and just know you are not alone! I had a friend whos little girl was about 10m when my son was born, I would call my friend like a 'breastfeeding buddy' to ask her questions and get support.

Nira - posted on 11/28/2009

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It does get a lot easier! I saw all those moms who just pop it out and the baby breastfeeds and all is wonderful in the world. What I didn’t see is the many weeks (about 40 days on average for me and my friends) it took them and their babies to get to be so beautifully synchronized and harmonious. I struggled but immediately turned to a lactation consultant who helped a lot. + Lanoline for the first week or so worked like a miracle. At three weeks my baby had a growth jump and wouldn’t stop eating all day long. I phoned my husband crying hysterically and asked him to come home right now (he was at work 3 hours drive away) cause she’s eating me alive! But it passed a day later and despite these bumps it gets so much easier and even enjoyable. For the first 3 months I used to pump out milk and my husband would feed her once a day to give me a break. We did this from week 1 and my baby loved both bottle and breast. Also once you establish a good breastfeeding technique (about a month or so on) you could try using formula once in a while to give yourself a break and have a rest. Get anyone you can to help you out with everything else and focus on letting your body heal (it went through a lot) and bonding with your baby. The first month’s the hardest but it gets better and better each month. Best of luck!

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April - posted on 12/03/2009

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Just hang in there Mama! It WILL get easier but you've got to tough it out, I'm not going to lie!

Jodi - posted on 12/02/2009

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Forgot to mention check the lotion you are using, I was sore so tried a camomile based one (can't remember the name) which was supposed to be excellant, it took me months to release I was allergic to it and the soreness continued longer because of that and not my son.

Also if you are expressing this can cause soreness, I started off brilliantly with this but when my son was about 5 months old I found the expressing started to make me sore and then it started to cut my nipple. I took this to be my breast size increasing as my son was a hungry little one. Worth noting as you are not always told about the bad sides of breast feeding (all bad for the mum, all brilliant for the baby and worth it) by the health visitors and mid wives.

Whitney - posted on 12/01/2009

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Yes it will get easier. I was in the same spot you are at now. My DD is a little over 2 weeks now and I am not as sore and my nipples are just a little tender. Make sure that you are putting some type of lotion on your nipples to help with that. Now I am leaking everywhere and have to wear a pad in my bra. Good luck and hand in there.

Christie - posted on 12/01/2009

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Thanks again for everyone's support. I can't tell you how much it helps to know that it does get easier and that I'm not the only one. My nipple soreness is starting to subside a little. Now it seems that I have a large let down that she's having trouble with now. If its not one thing its another right?

Jodi - posted on 12/01/2009

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Don't feel guilty there were plenty of times I wanted to give up (sore nipples, growth spurts and biting) but the bad parts do move on and the closeness and goodness you give your child can not compare.
Keep at it, you will find it will all fall into place. Good luck

Bridgette - posted on 12/01/2009

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It most certainly gets easier or I wouldn't be breastfeeding my 8month old! I had cracked nipples, my daughter had tongue tie and I would just cry at every feed, I hated it, but after a couple of weeks we worked out what position suited us and I learnt to help latch her on.
You can do it, just hang in there :)

Cori - posted on 11/30/2009

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Yes things will definetly get easier for you! I have a 4 1/2 month old daughter & she is on strickly breastmilk & I really enjoy breastfeeding. In the very beginning it was tough because my milk wasn't coming in that great in the first week so she was nursing basically 24/7. Also, when she was a newborn she needed to eat every 1-2 hrs. But now everything is just so natural & great. She eats every 3-4 hrs & I get up about 2 times a night, but I'm getting sleep now! As soon as she would have a bad latch, I immediately took her off & made sure her mouth was open wider to latch on again.

Now there is no discomfort at all with breastfeeding & it really makes me feel good that I can give her something so good for her. And the bonding is amazing!

Don't give up, things will get easier for you I promise!

Yesenia - posted on 11/30/2009

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Don't give up. It will get easier. It will take a couple of weeks, but it will get better. I felt the same way and I wanted to give up, but I kept thinking about how good it will be for my baby. Just take it one day at a time. Talk to your doctor about maybe a balm that will help you soothe the pain for now. The balm's are breastfeeding compatible so it wont hurt your baby. I would tell you what it is, but I don't remember right at the moment. Good luck and don't give up. :-)

Jessica - posted on 11/29/2009

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Well it is so soon it usually takes a week or two for the pain to subside and maybe you have a little depression is it just when breastfeeding that you cry?? I promise the pain will be gone any day now just hold on tight its almost over and than you can appreciate the joyful bond I love it so much and sometimes i even still get cuts because my nipples get so dry but i just wouldnt have it any other way

Liane - posted on 11/29/2009

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It does get easier. I am currently nursing my third child. With my first it was very hard. I too felt a lot of pain/discomfort and cried a lot. After about 6-8 weeks it does get much easier. It also seems to get easier for me after each child. I used Lansinoh after every feed and after showering to keep my nipples from cracking. That seemed to help a lot. Don't give up! Since you are still in the post-partum period everything seems much more emotional. It's normal to not "enjoy" breastfeeding at first due to the round the clock feedings and discomfort. You are most likely sleep deprived and your body is going through a lot. This will not last forever as you build a better nursing relationship with your little one. You can do it and by the time your baby is a few weeks older you will truly realize that it is much more convenient to nurse than to feed your baby a bottle. Good luck to you!

Valerie - posted on 11/29/2009

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absolutely it will get easier...make sure you use cream on your nipples after nursing to add oil back to your skin and don't nurse more often than recommended until you toughen up a bit...make sure to shove in more than you think she needs of your breast and let her back off from that because too little is going to cause you pain...this is normal...also let your breasts air out if sore...

Elizabeth - posted on 11/29/2009

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I know how unbelievably painful it is in the begininng, I have been there twice. Right now you are post partum and that does not help, I know I couldnt stop crying with my first I thought I was doing it all wrong, even when the LC were telling me I was doing perfect. Relax, take a breath! This is a learning process for both of you, and just like say excerising it is overwhelming, painful and plain right out exhausting in the begining then bam you can do those pulls with no problem... Well just like with BF it takes time, it took me roughly 6 weeks with Mady to be pain free and stress free and here were are at almost 15 months. What kept me going was the knowledge I have about BF vs formula, and I just refuse to give both my LO's formula although unsuccessful with my first due to his liver failing he was put on special formula. But I see the difference between my two and it breaks my heart. Determination is key, just remember you can do this, we have done this for millions of years. Think of how great it is to be the key to survival for the human race all these years, lol we are darn important! keep with it you can do it!

Angela - posted on 11/29/2009

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It's normal to be sore. I would cry when my daughter would latch onto my left side, but I kept at it. I knew it is the BEST thing I can do for my daughter. After 3 wks. I wasn't in pain anymore. Now I love breastfeeding it's the best holding her and knowing she is healthy. Watching her grow makes me feel good because she is growing because of me. It get's better. Hang in there!!

Nicole - posted on 11/29/2009

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My son is just over 5 weeks old and I think of quitting it seems like every other day. I'm glad to say that I do not have the scabbed nipples I had in the very beginning. Things do get better, then new problems pop up that make me want to quit, then they get better... It's a big head game sometimes, but I can't deny how much he enjoys being breastfed. Nothing else has a 100% sucess rate with calming and comforting him. Nothing else leaves me feeling 100% worry-free feeding him. I try to think of and really focus on those two facts when the frustration builds over whatever new challenge presents itself.

I'm really lucky to have been followed by midwies throughout my pregnancy and to have them available to help me with issues as they come up. I feel especially fortunate to have heard their stories of success and failure. In particular, one quit breastfeeding very early on with her first child, later having success with another when she had proper support. It gives me more strength to hear how she felt after giving it up and to know that my experiences are not exceptional...even though I think they are in the moment... they are problems that many people have and there are ways to try and work through them.

Best of luck!

Christie - posted on 11/29/2009

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Thank you ladies the the encouragement. I asked this question a couple of days ago, and in just that time, things are getting a little better. going to kellymom.com really helped, and I think I'm going to see a lacation consaltant. Its good to know that I'm not alone. Thanks again!

Anna - posted on 11/28/2009

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i just wanted to add....it's okay, to"get away" to another room, just you and your new baby, to "figure it out". that's what i had to do w/ my 1st baby...and in time, (a few weeks) we got it down.
This is a great breastfeeding advocacy website. anwers to ANY questions you might have :0)
www.kellymom.com

here is the la leche league site:

http://www.llli.org/

Anna - posted on 11/28/2009

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Yes! it gets MUCH EASIER. Plz don't give up, sweetie. i know it's frustrating. If she latches incorrectly, you should take her off, and try again. it's not good to bear through pain!
You're supposed to give BFing at least 6 weeks, to get "in-sync" w/ your baby.

I have a friend it too her 14 mo w/ her baby, but now they've got it down.

You can always go to La Leche League (sp?) plz, look for one, close to you in your area.
They are extremely helpful and even have support groups!

plz. don't give up, you are giving your daughter the BEST nutrition :0) :0)

Dena - posted on 11/28/2009

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It will certainly get much easier! Hang in there. Of course you won't be enjoying it now. Don't feel bad about that. It hurts terribly at this point but in a couple more weeks it will be just fine.

Christine - posted on 11/28/2009

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Hang in there! I don't have much to add except, if you're really committed to making it work (and it's okay if you're not) try not to cave in and offer a formula bottle and skip a feeding or anything. That will just make the problems last longer. You just need to push through, make sure that baby is latching on right, and keep nursing and the pain will pass. If you're not committed, though, it's okay. You don't have to feel guilty. You gave your baby 6 weeks of breastmilk which is better than most babies get!

Heather - posted on 11/28/2009

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It does get way easier. I remember so vividly the pain. I had it with all four of my babies and nothing seems to help. I've read all the other moms replies and the only thing I have to add to them is it's OK to stop. It definatley gets easier and will become enjoyable and wonderful - but it's not for everyone and you're not a bad mom if you don't brestfeed. It's your life and baby - decide what's best for you. Good luck and congrats on your baby.

Joy - posted on 11/28/2009

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Other than the lanolin which has been suggested by others, you can also try vitamin E for the soreness. That's what the hospital recommended to me. I'm a little over 3 months on BFing now.

User - posted on 11/28/2009

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Yes... gets way better! I was sore bleeding and blistered.... I waited too long to get help! It was bad for the first month! I cried every night.... but it dose get better hang in there is so worth it! 6 months now and growing strong!

[deleted account]

YES!!! It gets easier!!! :) Your nipples will toughen up before too much longer and soon it will become second nature to just do it. You can buy cremes and lotions (baby section, by the bottles, nursing pads, etc) that help... I never used them much tho, just suffered thru it for a while...

April - posted on 11/28/2009

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i also want to add that i still consult my lactation specialist from time to time even though i have been nursing my son for 11 months!

April - posted on 11/27/2009

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it does get easier!! you may hit some speed bumps along the way (blocked ducts, marathon nursing, nursing strikes, to name a few), but most of these speed bumps are over before you know it. it does take getting used to, but by the time your daughter is 6 weeks old, it will be an old hat! believe me i have wanted to quit a few times, but been doing it for 11 months now!

[deleted account]

6 days...you're just getting started. The beginning is difficult. I had cracked and beeding nipples, clogged ducts and mastitis all within the first 3 weeks. It definitely gets *much* easier. My daughter is 6 months old and now it's like we've been breastfeeding forever. You need to give it time. Just remember that you're giving your daughter the best stuff that you possibly can and in a few weeks you will both be breastfeeding pros.

Clara - posted on 11/27/2009

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Yes! I've made it to 15 months and I was ready to give up once or twice at about 3:15 in the morning. As to the nipple soreness, get some lanolin (I think Walmart and Motherhood Maternity and other similar stores sell it) and put it on every time after a less-than-ideal BF session. You don't have to wipe it off, either. I did it after pumping sessions in the beginning and it made life much more bearable. As to the crying, exhaustion could be the culprit. Do you have someone who could change your daughter and then bring her to you in bed to nurse and then take her back to burp and put to bed in the middle of the night or while you're napping?



Good luck and congrats on your new baby!

Liane - posted on 11/29/2009

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It does get easier. I am currently nursing my third child. With my first it was very hard. I too felt a lot of pain/discomfort and cried a lot. After about 6-8 weeks it does get much easier. It also seems to get easier for me after each child. I used Lansinoh after every feed and after showering to keep my nipples from cracking. That seemed to help a lot. Don't give up! Since you are still in the post-partum period everything seems much more emotional. It's normal to not "enjoy" breastfeeding at first due to the round the clock feedings and discomfort. You are most likely sleep deprived and your body is going through a lot. This will not last forever as you build a better nursing relationship with your little one. You can do it and by the time your baby is a few weeks older you will truly realize that it is much more convenient to nurse than to feed your baby a bottle. Good luck to you!

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