I neeeeeeed to get my 11 month old to stay in her crib at night! Help!!

Jackie - posted on 05/11/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I put my 11 month old to sleep downstairs, probably my first mistake, and bring her to her crib. Sometimes she stays asleep only long enough for me to get out of the room, sometimes not even that long. I've resorted to getting in the crib with her and carefully back out once she is asleep. This cannot go on forever! Please help!!

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Jackie - posted on 05/12/2009

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All good suggestions thus far, believe me, I've tried both ends of the spectrum. I'm all for the strict bedtime, it's just that our lives are never the same from day to day, sometimes I work, sometimes I don't. Nothing is consistent when I'm not home... I can't let her "Cry it Out" because, well just because I can't handle it and I feel like I'm torturing her. I don't want her to feel that I won't come to her if she's upset. We have been co-sleeping...kinda... since she was born. I haven't been consistently doing anything which I believe is the problem. Now she goes to her crib every night after I put her to sleep. We just have to get to the point where she can go in her crib awake and self soothe. I fear it will just take time and patience...possibly her just being a little older will help.

Carolyn - posted on 05/12/2009

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I'm all for the strict bedtime routine... we have one for both our girls. It's a clear signal to them that it's sleepy time. However, I'm dubious of the cry-it-out, leave-them-in-their-crib, don't-pick-them-up-at-any-cost methods. Our culture is very focused on having children sleep through the night (no human does), sleeping alone (few adults do), and require them to be as self-sufficient as possible (who lives in a vaccum anyway?). Babyhood is such a short phase of their lives, and what's a year or two of broken sleep in a lifetime of 80 years? 1%? 2% of our lives?



However, I recognize the need for sleep. We were a seriously sleep-devrived house. I admit that my oldest (who's three, epileptic and autistic) is medicated (not sedated) to help her sleep. Otherwise, she would fall asleep at 2 a.m. and be up by 5. And wake up screaming several times in between. We all need sleep, and while we could get away with 6 hours, the 2-3 hours of broken sleep we were getting just wasn't enough to function. With meds, she will actually sleep 10-12 hours and not be miserable and exhuasted, and we are more patient, loving parents as a result (and we've quit threatening to sell her to the gypsies!!).



Have you considered cosleeping? I really found it made a difference this go round with my newest addition. I keep a playpen/cot at the side of my bed, and she does sleep there a fair amount these days (she's now 7 months), but it's easy-peasy to pick her up and plop her in bed beside me, and we ALL sleep. A really good book about the subject is called Three In A Bed by Deborah Jackson. You might find your child sleeps better because they don't have to be moved and interrupted. It also forces you to bed earlier because you can't leave your child unattended for long.



I have to tell you, I'm impressed that you can get in the crib!! I would never have dared to do that! Good luck!

Jovanne - posted on 05/11/2009

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I was so incredible sleep deprived by the time my daughter was 11 months old because she started waking up more and more every week (to nurse with me in my bed). One night I got sick with a high fever and desperately needed sleep in order to get better. I turned on the video monitor with volume fairly low but I could hear it. The video showed the view of the whole crib. I nursed her, rocked her, sang to her, told her good night, love you, and layed her down. She cried forever. I could see she was not hurt in the video and not trying to escape. She eventually got bored and fell asleep on her own. Three nights later of the same routine, she was sleeping through the night in her own crib. I gave her a little stuffed bunny and a blanket that she likes to make the transition easier.

Kasandra - posted on 05/11/2009

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Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. Classic mistakes but they can be fixed. It is going to take a lot of tough love and patience and probably some sleepless nights but you can get her into a good routine. Check out 12 hours in 12 weeks by Suzy Giordano. It is traditionally for new moms with young babies but it can be used for children up to 18 months. It starts by establishing a strict bedtime routine at the same time every night that involves a relaxing environment: change her clothes, change her diaper, bring her into her darkened room with soft music. Then you nurse her and after while she is still awake place her in her crib. She may cry but do not pick her up. (Avoid at all costs picking her up as it will reinforce her crying) Instead stroke her face, pat her back, softly "shhhh" her, avoid eye contact, don't play with her and then leave. It will take a few nights and you might be going in there a lot but after about 4 days you will be amazed at it. It is hard not to pick her up or make her smile by playing with her but you will be so happy when you can put her down and she self soothes and falls asleep on her own. By following the book my baby has been going to sleep on his own since he was 12 weeks old. It is utterly amazing! Good luck!

Angela - posted on 05/11/2009

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i gave my little girl a blanket which she loves to hold while in her cot. She plays with it and eventually she falls asleep...maybe try a blanket or a soft teddy/toy. Good luck

Tori - posted on 05/11/2009

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Maybe you could play some soft music, turn a night-light on and lay her, already drowsy, in her crib. Bring a stool for you to sit next to her and reach in to rub her back until she's asleep. Then eventually shorten the amount of time you stay in with her. My son went through a phase where he used to cry and try to climb out of his crib. And succeeded twice! It's hard to hear them cry, but he eventually got bored enough and fell asleep. Now he actually tells us he wants to go to bed. Good Luck!!!

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