I was confronted about breastfeeding in public by a stranger...

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

My daughter was around 3 months old and I was grocery shopping with my mom at the Superstore, when my daughter decided that she was hungry. I proceeded to continue shopping while feeding her completely covered until she was done. In the midst of feeding her, another shopper felt the need to call the RCMP and file a compliant for indecent exposure. I was completely shocked when I was approched by this woman and the RCMP officer. She told him that I was breast feeding my child and it upset her because her children saw what I was doing and shouldn't be allowed to do this in public. My mother and I explained to the officer and demonstrated to the officer. She failed to explain to the RCMP when she called that I was breastfeeding and covered and the RCMP charged HER with mischief! I don't care where I am or what I am doing if OUR children would like to eat, DO IT WHEREVER YOU WANT!!! Don't let anyone try to talk down to you. And as for the washroom comment, AWESOME reply! I doubt that any mother that bottle fed their child makes them sit in a stall! Good Luck

Heather - posted on 07/22/2009

My daughter was around 3 months old and I was grocery shopping with my mom at the Superstore, when my daughter decided that she was hungry. I proceeded to continue shopping while feeding her completely covered until she was done. In the midst of feeding her, another shopper felt the need to call the RCMP and file a compliant for indecent exposure. I was completely shocked when I was approched by this woman and the RCMP officer. She told him that I was breast feeding my child and it upset her because her children saw what I was doing and shouldn't be allowed to do this in public. My mother and I explained to the officer and demonstrated to the officer. She failed to explain to the RCMP when she called that I was breastfeeding and covered and the RCMP charged HER with mischief! I don't care where I am or what I am doing if OUR children would like to eat, DO IT WHEREVER YOU WANT!!! Don't let anyone try to talk down to you. And as for the washroom comment, AWESOME reply! I doubt that any mother that bottle fed their child makes them sit in a stall! Good Luck

Casey - posted on 07/22/2009

this is surprising, especially in a dark theater while you're covered up... I breastfeed my daughter ANYWHERE, ANYTIME and she's 11 months old so she hates having her head covered.... I just whip it out! I can't wait for someone to confront me lol

I heard a good comeback once... when asked to feed her baby in the bathroom, the mother told the person they could go wait in the bathroom until she was done if it bothered them so much... its just a boob!

Karna - posted on 07/22/2009

I had a similar situation and I nearly flipped my lid, saying many of the same things you said. I went one further saying that it was natural and that me and my babies rights to feed in public are protected by my state's laws. Everything you did was absolutely right and she should have been ashamed of herself for even saying something to you. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your baby!

Victoria - posted on 07/22/2009

That's atrocious. Stupid cow. How dare she go out of her way to tell you something like that. It was a dark theatre and why was she looking at you when she should of been watching the movie. Its never happened to me but im always preparing responses in case someone does have a go. Im glad you had some good responses for her, good on you. I love reading things like this...i get all outraged for you.

Victoria - posted on 07/22/2009

That's atrocious. Stupid cow. How dare she go out of her way to tell you something like that. It was a dark theatre and why was she looking at you when she should of been watching the movie. Its never happened to me but im always preparing responses in case someone does have a go. Im glad you had some good responses for her, good on you. I love reading things like this...i get all outraged for you. its only in the western world that this is an issue. My mums friend is a morrocan muslim who whops it out wherever to feed her son. I read about that in iran, women breastfeed openly despite covering the rest of their body. Because breast are not sexual. They are for feeding. Its a pain that people have made them more than they are. FEEDING BAGS...lol....im a milk machine and proud!

Brianna - posted on 07/22/2009

Good for you!!!! That is the EXACT response I would have given....of course, I would have thrown in that a woman has a legal right to breast feed in public! I have fed my son in public and, though no one has approached me about it, I have gotten stares. A long glance or a ‘can I help you with something?’ usually puts an end to that. I do not understand the problem, especially if we are covered. It’s hard enough to make the sacrifice (because, let’s face it, it can be exhausting, messy, inconvenient, and, at times, painful to breast feed) to ensure our children get the head-start to a healthier life without the added criticism. I guess this upsets me so much because when I returned from maternity leave, the office manager at my job asked me if I’d be ‘more comfortable’ pumping in the bathroom?! I asked her if she goes to the bathroom to make a sandwich or herself a glass of milk! You should be commended for your commitment to your child. Okay, done ranting! I think you did the right thing :)

Erica - posted on 07/22/2009

You did the right thing! You told that woman exactly how it is. I think it is ashamed that people can't view breastfeeding for what it is a natural thing. My son is breast feed and I know if someone tells me that its not natural I get offended. He has every right to eat and I wish people would stop trying to deter that right.

Pamela Nichole - posted on 07/22/2009

I guess Im lucky no one ever said anything to me, but if they would have i would have gave them a mouth full. People are so rude, expecting you to take your child to the bathroom to eat, I would have told her if she didnt wanna see you breastfeeding your baby she shouldnt be watching. Breasts were put on a woman to feed thier baby with Im sure back in the days b4 formula people didnt say things like that....

Chand - posted on 07/22/2009

I think you did a wonderful job that you questioned. I think that woman didn't had her own kid or was very soured by her own kid. or So sick in her mind. I would have done same thing.

Dawn - posted on 07/21/2009

Yeah!!! for you! I only had a couple of people look at me funny when I was bf-ing my 3 kids. I am so glad that someone else finally said what I had been thinking! Kudos to you!

Shennandoah - posted on 07/21/2009

Kuddos to you for speaking up! I luckily have never been confronted about breastfeeding in public. I have also breastfed at the movies. I figure that as long as you are not all boob out then everyone can mind their own business!

Jennifer - posted on 07/21/2009

This has happened to me a few times as well... the ignorance of people astounds me! I was a t a resaurant once and the lady asked me if I had to do that in public? I said "do you eat in public?" She was promptly moved along by her husband who had no problem ...go figure. Don't sweat it though...we are doing the best possible thing for our babies !

Jenny - posted on 07/21/2009

I live in a condo and was outside gardening and sat outside under a tree near my front door to nurse my child and I had one of my neighbors guests came over and asked if I could go do that some place else because they were having a party and people might not know how to react. Of course she had to throw in that she breastfed and then had to discriminate against me at the same time. I was totally flabbergasted and didn't know what to say. I just went into my house and closed up all the doors and windows. but the you're allowed to eat here, so is she response is the best

Kassondra - posted on 07/21/2009

My response has always been something along the lines of, "I was made to feed my children. It is convenient, sterile, and easy to carry." Where I live it is against the law for anyone to say anything about breastfeeding in public. So i usually remind them I can sue them for complaining about me taking care of my child.

I think it shows the just how much times are changing. One hundred years ago it was common to see a woman nursing her baby. Today we are supposed to hide? People abuse their children. That is something people should complain about. Not a mother doing the absolute best thing for her child.

Marihett - posted on 07/21/2009

Good for you!!!! I breastfeed in public (also covered up) & to date nobody said anything to me. My son is now 6 months.

Crystal - posted on 07/21/2009

Absolutly. And I gave almost the exact same word for word reply to the man that confronted me in Borders. It's not like we were uncovered and flashing the whole world... Our children have just as much right as everyone else to eat when they feel the need. I did tell the man that told me I should go to the bathroom to feed my daughter that I had an extra blanket in my bag that he was welcome to use to cover up his own head if it bothered him so much. :P He didn't like that too much, but I felt better.

Nancy - posted on 07/21/2009

Perfect Response/Reaction.

I breast fed both of my sons; my first for 18 months and my second for 13 months. Whenever & Wherever they were hungry...They Ate...Period!! That's one of the best things about Breastfeeding...No preparation Needed. Stay Strong

Cara - posted on 07/21/2009

No, i havent accually delt with that. But I had that exact response ready. Good job Mamma!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/21/2009

I think it is so sad the breastfeeding is viewed in such a negative way by our society. Unfortunately this stigma prevents many women from breastfeeding and many babies from experiencing the benefits. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your daughter!! I only hope that I would be able to do the same thing in your situation.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/21/2009

I think it is so sad the breastfeeding is viewed in such a negative way by our society. Unfortunately this stigma prevents many women from breastfeeding and many babies from experiencing the benefits. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and your daughter!! I only hope that I would be able to do the same thing in your situation.

Liz - posted on 07/21/2009

I think you handled it perfectly. My daughter is only 5 weeks but screams like shes never been feed every time we walk into a store no matter when I've last fed her. I try to keep it quiet but sometime you have to do it, women who bottle feed aren't criticized for feeding in public why should we chastised. So kudos to you and shame on her!

Darcel - posted on 07/20/2009

I attended my church convention weekend before last and my seat was right under the AC vent. Deuce was asleep so I drapped his blanket over both of us (my shoulders) while holding him to keep both of us warm. Get this, someone asked a male usher come and talk to me the next day about breastfeeding in public. The poor guy was red as a tomato as he studdered the complaint from an annanonyous church family member. First I was appalled. I was going to start a tirade about if the person was paying attention to service they would have never noticed me.



But when I saw my brothers embarrassment I had to laugh. Poor guy. He had to talk to another mans wife about her boobs. So I let the anger go. Comforted him that I was not nursing in the worship hall, and explained the AC was too high.



However I made it a point to make sure not to alter my activites to make a annanonyous person feel better but to see to my baby's comfort. And if we got cold, we both wrapped up.



Edited to make one thing clear: I was not breastfeeding at the time. He was asleep. But also perfectly covered up. So even if I was breastfeeding at the time (and I was not) you would have not seen anything.

Sara - posted on 07/20/2009

DeeDee, I need to remember your comebacks for when I start breastfeeding (I am due in Feb). Thank you to everyone who posted empowering comments, it makes me more sure of my decision that this is the right thing for my baby and that I can do this.

Jamie - posted on 07/20/2009

Oh my goodness. Good for u standing up for you and your daughter like that. I can't even beleive the nerve of some people. Its not as if you were sitting there topless for the world to see, you were discreatly trying to provide for your child. I probably would have told her that she shouldn't have been such a pervert watching you, that no one else had seemed to notice or mind but her and maybe she should have been spending more time watching the movie she paid for instead of a private moment between u and your daughter.

Denise - posted on 07/20/2009

I have gone to the movies and done the same thing, but this older woman didn't say anything she just kept looking and pointing at me when the movie was over. I am glad you handled yourself with tack! People really need to get over it, if we can watch people walking around barley covered with clothes then we should be able to breastfeed our children. Especially if we are covered, nothing is exposed!

Tessa - posted on 07/20/2009

I have had both positive and negative feedback from members of the public about it.



One of the most positive was an elderly lady came up to me and said "Take that cover off the poor darling, there are young girls walking around hardly wearing anything at all these days and they dont get in trouble for it, i see no reason why you feel you should cover yourself up if they dont" and she promptly removed the cover and sat down chatting with me for a good hour. it was lovely!



Some of the negative experiance however...I was feeding lily on the bus and I had a young man (about 20) staring at my boobs trying to get a glimpse which made me feel horibly uncomfortable, as im sure you all understand. My partner was with me at the time and politely asked him if he could stop as he was making us feel nervous, the man apologised and didnt look again.



I also had a muslin man come up to me one day, also after a movie, telling me that it was disgusting and shamefull etc, i shut him up quickly (this is my response to ignorant people like this) "Oh im sorry sir, i didnt realise you would pefer to have a screeming baby near you over a happy feeding baby, perhaps in future to save yourself feeling uncomfortable you could just not look?"

Tammy - posted on 07/20/2009

I am sorry to hear that. It is wonderful that you stood up to that women. I have breast feed at the movies and out to eat without any blanket or cover and never had a negative experience. You did the right thing and should be proud.

DeeDee - posted on 07/20/2009

To Dana and Olivia,



I can't speak for everyone (only for myself), but I do not condemn any mother that is not able to breastfeed. While I do think it is the best thing for babies, I understand that sometimes it is just not possible. My own mother was only able to breastfeed me for 6 weeks, so I know that it does happen. I believe that most of the mothers in this community understand that as well, they are just disappointed when some mothers choose not to breastfeed simply for convenience sake.



DeeDee

Tiera - posted on 07/20/2009

Way to go for standing up for yourself and your baby! I feed my baby in public all the time, but I do try to be inconspicuous. I have actually had an older person come up to me and say, "You're going to have a very healthy child because you're nursing her." It's nice to hear supportive comments from strangers for a change.

Sarah - posted on 07/20/2009

You handeled it perfectly. There is no healthier way to take care of your baby. She was so very obviousley jealous. I had a few rude glances with my first but a bundle of encouraging coments mainly from nurses who just happened to see me. Your daughter appriciates your care of her and loves the closeness of your heart and warmth while she rests. Keep up the good work mommy, you're doin' a good job.

Laura - posted on 07/20/2009

How rude!!!!



You answered her perfectly, its people like that that keep us in the dark ages. If anybody ever makes a comment about me breast feeding in public I would say exactly the same thing.

Chelsea - posted on 07/20/2009

Sweety there is actually a law that allows women to breastfeed in public. Ignore them, she was probably jealous because her mom fed her formula.

Katie - posted on 07/20/2009

DeeDee I LOVE everything you've said here, in response to the people who question your decisions, your preferences, etc. My feelings on the subject mirror yours exactly. I take my babies to the midnight movies so that they sleep, and if they need to eat, then they nurse!! Your life doesn't have to change THAT dramatically when you have a child!!! My babies sleep soundly through the loudest of movies. To all you nay-sayers, people like me and DeeDee are the future, and you all are fading QUICKLY into the past.

Katrina - posted on 07/20/2009

Good job! Some people are sadly ignorant. The human body isn't gross, perverts make it out to be some booby show. Thank heavens for us nursing moms who do things the way they were meant to be done! Keep it up:)

Stephanie - posted on 07/20/2009

You should look up what the laws are in your state. If you are protected under your state's law then you should come back with that.



Also tell the next person that they should be ashamed of themselves for sexualizing the most natural act.

Delilah - posted on 07/20/2009

I think your response was right on, to bad if she doesn't like it! good for you!

Olivia - posted on 07/20/2009

i agree with dana because my first daughter was breastfed but i was not producing enough milk and felt horrible when i had to suppliment with formula, and my second now four months i do breast feed but i have givin her formula a couple times since shes been born i dont like to but sometimes u dont have a choice if ur baby is hungry u do what u have to do!

Dana - posted on 07/20/2009

I breastfeed my son. I already said what I had to say about breastfeeding in public earlier in this post but, had to respond to previous posts. I do think breastfeeding is best but some woman can't breastfeed and feel horrible about it. I think it's selfish not to put yourself in someone eles's shoes and then to pass judgement about it. Whatever happened to all woman sticking together or at least all moms sticking together.

Kelly - posted on 07/20/2009

That is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard!!! I dont know what I would have done in that situation besides go crazy!

First of all, you have the right to feeed your baby anywhere you please! Second, the US is the only country who doesnt except Nursing as a postivie thing in general. and Third, she's lucky you even covered up, in a dark theatre, shoot no one would have seen anything anyway!! haha!!

Im so dumbfounded! Im so very glad you said what you did, i wouldnt have been quick enough to think of a response that good!!

That woman OBVIOUSLY wasnt breast fed! And to be honest, it makes me sick when I see a mom in public NOT breast feed her baby. I was at the mall just last weekend and the lady behind me had a 2 1/2 week old baby with her, and there she was, making a bottle. Geez....could you be anymore selfish?

Tammi - posted on 07/20/2009

GREAT WAY TO RESPOND! I would have done and said the EXACT same thing.

Veronica - posted on 07/20/2009

Wow! I would have been pissed! I think you were right in what you said! We went to see Harry Potter last week and I had to feed my son. Because it was so full and it was actually pretty light in the theater, I went to the back of the theater and did it there. There were people standing right next to me, talking to me who if they knew what i was doing didn't even flintch!

Shari - posted on 07/20/2009

I am so apalled that another woman could be so little minded and rude. I am likewise so impressed that you were able to overcome the shock of the moment to respond the way you did. KUDOS! I will remember your reaction and use your logic if I am ever put in your position, that's if I don't just get angry and start crying or something.

I was always afraid of exposing myself during the year I nursed my son (now 2) because he refused to stay covered up, so I never really tried. But number 2 is coming in 2 weeks, and I am determined to attempt public feeding with this child, instead of always going back to my car for a feed.

Olivia - posted on 07/20/2009

i also dont think people understand how hard it is to keep it covered my daughter will not nurse if she is covered, she ripes the cover off as did my oldest daughter as well, ne ways when u nurse the baby has their mouth over the nipple so really the only thing showing is cleaveage and woman show off alot more then that when they are just wearing thier little shirts and mini skirts whats the difference!

Carline - posted on 07/20/2009

DeeDee, I'm proud of you, and your baby is too! I nursed my 14 y/o, my 3 y/o, and am nursing Joshua, 7 months. I love the convenience. I do consider those around me, and use his blanket, be it at the market, mall, parking lot.... Everyone's entitled to an opinion, if they could just keep the dumb ones to themselves.

Doris - posted on 07/20/2009

Sounds a great response to me. Some people are just unbelievable. As for going against God *rollseyes* How does she think Jesus was fed????

ASHLEi LEHUALANi - posted on 07/20/2009

THUMBS UP TO YOU SISTER!! I think you handled yourself very well. For the woman with the awful words about breastfeeding well that goes to show how shallow minded some people really are. I think they should take breast feeding 101 and educate themselves.

Keeley - posted on 07/20/2009

Hello! a nun in a breastfeeding friendly maccas told me i was goin against god! i laughed and told her if god didnt want me to do it then he wouldnt of given us milk ducts to feed our babies with! would he?

Fallon - posted on 07/19/2009

I'm a new mom, so I've only had to feed in public once and luckily I was at the Motherhood store were it is welcome. Before becoming pregnant I honestly didn't know how I felt about breastfeeding but once I became pregnant I knew I wanted to do it. Having said that I still have mixed emotions about the feeding in public...BUT I think what you did was completely appropriate! I truely believe that as long as you cover up, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The only time I am bothered by it is when women make no effort to cover up. I wondered if my outlook on that would change once I started feeding myself...but it didn't. What I'm trying to say is that you did everything right and said the right things to her. The only time I think breastfeeding in public is inappropriate is when women make no effort to cover up!

Denise - posted on 07/19/2009

No one has ever said anything to me. I have gotten some "looks". But I think the "looks" I return to them say enough. The nerve of some people. I'm sorry that happened to you. Some people are just miserable people and they want to try and make others miserable as well.