in over my head...

Casey - posted on 08/01/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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hello all, i am 8 mths pregnant with my 3rd child due in sept. and i have 2 other child a 5 yr and 14 mth old both of them are girls. i nursed both the first one for a yr and 2 mths the second for 2 weeks (she was allergic to cows milk that i was drinking.) i wish i could have nursed her for longer. but my question / thoughts are. this is a boy that i will be having in sept. and i dont know how i feel about nursing a boy. im not trying to seem mean or one gender picking. but i feel uneasy about nursing a boy. my sons father i think is the problem he is very againist the idea of nursing. and its making me uneasy too. did any of you have issues or feel differently about nursing with a boy than a girl?

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Sarah - posted on 08/11/2011

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I have 2 boys and a girl I have nursed all of them to some extent, although my eldest was very difficult to feed but not because of any preconception he just became impossible to keep hold of while feeding because his legs would be trying to touch the back of his head. I only bf him for 2 months. My daughter self weaned while I was pregnant with my youngest. she was 15 months. I am still feeding my youngest son who is 15 months and will only stop when he wants to. Once your boy is born I think that you will feel differently than you do now. Your maternal instinct will just take over. Your partner will adjust in time. point out the cost of formula as a major benefit to the household income.
Hope all goes okay. xx

Tiffany - posted on 08/06/2011

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BTW I nursed 2 boys and a girl, all past their third birthday. I think once your little guy is born, you'll fall in love and realize he's YOURS and needs your love and nourishment just like the girls.

Tiffany - posted on 08/06/2011

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I would attend a local La Leche League meeting... Get some support, talk to some other bf mamas, and talk to an experienced leader who has the time to get to know you and your situation better than we can from one little post....

Kristina - posted on 08/13/2011

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I fully nursed my son til 2yrs 2mo. and now we r only doing morning and night feeds just one each. Some men r territorial about the breasts and dont want the babies to have them my sons father was that way that is why he left he wanted them all to himself. Feeding a boy is no different than a girl he will b a total mamas boy for a while. After 4 weeks start pumping a little so dad can b part of the feedings. If he doesnt come around tell him that doing it will save u 5000 dollars just in the first year, formula is not cheap or healthy for your baby.

Jessie - posted on 08/08/2011

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Honestly, I can't imagine ever giving such craziness a thought! Who comes up with this stuff?! A baby is a baby, there is no difference between girls and boys!
your son will grow up to have a healthy respect for women if he is old enough to remember nursing at all. my son nursed for 16 months and he his now 2 and perfectly well adjusted and has no unseemly interest in my breasts or anyone elses. you will only be denying him his birthright if you choose not to nurse him for such crazy reasons. The father of your child obviously needs to have some education put into his ignorant dirty mind about the benefits and naturalness of breastfeeding

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Elizabeth - posted on 07/13/2012

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i breast fed my daughter, but also a friends son. He was very ill and had SKIDS> Severe combined immune difficiancy syndrome. He had no immune system. I was Bessie the milk cow I had more than enough milk and when my dearest friend who I met in Lamaz class called me desperate I could do nothing but help her. So I should have felt strange it NOT being my child and it being a boy I think but I didn't, and I did have alot of anxiety about it. I had had the flue which she had no antibodies to and he was dying, I had the antibodies, my breastmilk saved his life. I could have just pumped but She wanted him to have human contact.

Like I said I thought I would feel weird, but I had known this boy since he ws born, in fact I was THERE!...It will be your baby, I think when you see him, and know he is hungry, you won't even think about gender. You will do what comes natural. I think its normal to have anxiety, but I think when it comes down to it, you will do what is best for your baby...boy or girl, it won't really matter anymore....By the way congratulations!!!!! blessings for a healthy baby boy and a easy birth.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 08/13/2011

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First of congratulations.

It sounds like your husband is too concerned with sexualizing your breasts rather than seeing them as fatty tissue that produce milk. You should discuss his issues with breastfeeding and why he feels uncomfortable with it. Because it sounds like he has some stuff to get out of his system.

I have no experiance at nursing boys because right now I just have 2 girls. But I work as a care aide and have cleaned my share of guys if that can count as some kind of experiance that would help. You just need to turn your mind off to the fact that this is a boy instead of a girl. He's a baby and won't remember anything about having your nipple in his mouth (if that's what you're worried about or your husband for that matter) This is a baby and he'll need nurishment and since he's not adopted it's easier and better that he gets it from you.

Besides as a few other ladies have pointed out, you should drop in how much you'll save instead of using formula. You can also throw in conveniance- no one has to get up and make the baby a bottle, just attach him to your breast and boom hungry baby becomes eatting baby

Grace - posted on 08/08/2011

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It might feel weird right now just because you have had 2 girls so far. I only have one boy so far and when I think think about having a girl or having her nurse it seems weird to me because I haven't experienced it yet. Because I have a boy, nursing a boy seems the most natural and normal thing to me.

Tonya - posted on 08/07/2011

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I nursed my youngest son the longest ( he weened himself of the breast a week before he was 7 months) I have 5 boys and 2 girls. Just keep in mind that breast milk is the best for them. As for nursing either sex it should not matter boy or girl they need to be treated equal. If your husband is having issues about you nursing the new baby talk with him as to why he is having the issues. It could be he is getting the feeling of being left out. My husband had issues and we talked through them and all went great. It could be he might feel as if when it comes time to feed the new baby he won't get a chance to take part in it. Some men will get that feeling and feel like they are not helping in the feeding part. I really enjoyed the part where I did not have to worry about fixing the bottle in the middle of the night I could just let him latch on and not worry about him waking everyone in the house up waiting for the bottle to get warm ( one of the good things about breast feeding ) Weigh out your pros and cons of nursing and by the time your new baby gets here you will have gotten your final decision. Good luck

Kellie - posted on 08/07/2011

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from day one, my son was an absolute pro at nursing (he's 14 mo and shows no signs of stopping). I nursed my daughter for 3.5 years, but she was a much harder baby to nurse, her latch was initially a challenge and she always nursed at least 45 min. at a time. My son has always nursed for just 10 minutes...he's awesome.
Look into his eyes (regardless of sex), and know you are nourishing him as no one else can.

Raechil - posted on 08/06/2011

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I totally understand (not the gender difference but the uneasyness due to other people). My son is two months od and I am breast feeding. I wasnt comfortable at first because of my boyfriends family. But honestly now that I am and our bond is there and completely unbreakable I am so happy. He is a mommas boy and I wouldnt have it any other way because when he gets older I know him and his daddy will most likely be closer. I cant compete with the father son bond that happens naturally but thanks to breast feeding we will have our own kind of bond.

I dont have any girls but breast feeding is completely natural whether other people like it or not.

I think you should do what will be best for you and your son. But you should try talking to his daddy if you havent and explain to him how much better for him it is and that he is making you uncomfortable with it and that he needs to stop. If he doesnt agree then thats something he needs to deal with on his own. He should want whats best for his son.
Good luck!! I know how difficult people can be -.-

Tanya - posted on 08/06/2011

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I don't have any girls, but I have 2 little boys (23 months and 5.5 months). I nursed my first till I was 8.5 months pregnant with the second and inadvertently weaned him when my milk stopped and I gave him cows' milk. I can understand how living in a place where breasts are so sexualized can make feeding your LO unnatural but since they're so young, people just see a baby, not a boy. With the way boys get into dirty places all the time, you'll be so glad you gave them those extra immunities through your milk. It'll also give you a special bond (much like that you have with your girls) since boys do tend to try to copy papa. I don't know. It was always nice to be able to have something I could only give my boys. Think about nursing at the hospital and once you get past that, I think you'll probably get over your uneasiness. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 08/06/2011

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Why in the world would a boy's needs be any different from a girls? Would you really want to give him less than perfect food just because he has a penis? Seems silly to me.

Maria - posted on 08/06/2011

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My first was a girl and my second was a boy. I nursed both of them (still nurse the boy). I don't know if it's because he was the 2nd one or what, but my boy has been way easier to nurse. He is definately Mama's little boy. :-)

Sarah - posted on 08/06/2011

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We have one of each and I nursed them both, the boy wasnt as great a nurser but still its a great bonding experience and boys are essinetually the same at birth since neither one recognizes sexes yet. As for your father in law he needs some major education on the subject! Would you not let your kids eat brownies if he were against them as well?.

Linda - posted on 08/02/2011

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can I suggest educating yourself about ALL the fantastic benefits of breastfeeding to help win over daddy? (less risk for breast cancer for you, immunities for baby, it's FREE!, and many many more.) his support is crucial for a successful nursing relationship for you and your new baby boy. Why would he be against it anyway? It is what's best for his son.

I've nursed 2 boys and wouldn't have it any other way. The close bond we have wouldn't have been the same without it. And in fact, historical "nursing guides" (mostly written by men btw) recommended nursing boys longer than girls! lol

Listen to your heart and your instincts. A nursing relationship with your youngster is so short in the grand scheme of life, enjoy every second of it. :) Good Luck, Casey. Only you know what is right for you. Be strong.

Sara - posted on 08/02/2011

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I have no problems with nursing either as they are my baby and part of me! whatever the sex. My hubby however has a problem with me nursing in public and only ever wants me to nurse behind close doors.- I ignored him most of the time and I will bf whereever and whenever I need to... get over it. what do fellas know anyway.. their problem not mine or my babies.... Do they eat in public?? only the same thing! Nursing is natural and best for the baby boobs were invented before bottles.... he'll get over it when he is having a full nights sleep and you are the one waking every 2 hours to feed him XX good luck and don't think gender think your baby!! XX

Didi - posted on 08/01/2011

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I'm nursing my son, 20 months old, and never gave it any thought. It isn't like boys are that different from girls when they are so young, they are just babies and small children. Does your husband think nursing is a sexual thing? Is that why he doesn't want him by your breasts? Maybe pointing out that every baby boy and girl born since the beginning of our existence, until the twentieth century when breastmilk substitutes were created, have been nursed. It is what nature intended :)

Holly Janelle - posted on 08/01/2011

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Don't feel uneasy. Girl or boy there is no difference they are your babies and they are a part of you. Yes, him being uneasy about it is probably brushing off on you. Can you try to separate yourself from his feelings and your own? Nursing is natural it's the way we were made. None of us would be here without it. The problem that my jisbamd has is me nursing in public but he quickly came to recognize that it's impossible to do unless I want to stay caged in our home! Lol. Maybe you two can sit down and have a heart to heart and explain that this is the best possible thing you could ever do for y'alls son and giving him a healthy start is very important to you and his well being. Let him know (in a way that he will be receptive to) your negative feelings towards this are making me uneasy and it would mean a lot to you of he would at least support you and understand that this is the very very best for your son and giving him the best is important to you. Be loving and not pointing fingers and make it known how important it is to you and how GOOD it is for him he may be more open to having a different outlook on the situation. Good luck mommy!

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