Is it just me...?

Elizabeth - posted on 04/08/2011

Oothoon..I agree with you 100%..Although I am an american and grew up there..I moved to Canada when I was 18 on my own for University I have been in Canada now for 11 years ..and there is such a difference in the maternity leave and the family benefits which the government provides for everyone. Maternity leave is a combo of 15 weeks maternity and 35 weeks parental...which equals 1 year paid at 55% of your income. We have baby bonus money every month for children under the age of 6yrs to help moms stay home or save for college ..whatever you want to do with it.



However, the hospitals get formula from the formula companies for FREE so they can get your baby hooked on it. I know this because my husband works at the hospital and BF is not pushed by the nurses although they will help if you want it ..and ask how the BF is going. The stay is VERY short..if you have a natural birth with no complications ..sometimes you leave before 24hrs is up ..just depending when you get there....if it is a C section then you are their 48 hrs.

Liz - posted on 04/08/2011

I don't blame the women. There's a lack of institutional support for breastfeeding in the US. I'm American but currently I live in Poland, and it's a little different here. Sure, you can buy all the same kinds of formula at the store, but in the maternity ward, there is an expectation and assumption that you will breastfeed.



1. You recover in the hospital longer. I stayed for 5 days after a c-section with no complications and a healthy baby. Midwives helped me with latch and positions, and when I got painfully engorged when my milk came in, a midwife actually gave me breast massage every 2 hours and taught me how to do it myself.



2. There are no free bottles and formula "samples" given away.



3. The hospital peds strongly recommended breastfeeding on demand, even though as a breast cancer survivor, I only had one breast that produced milk. Like I said, the expectation is there, and there are no lies about how formula is "just as good." (I'm not saying formula is "bad" -- but it's a lie that it's equal to breastmilk.)



4. Paid maternity leave for 22 weeks. This fosters breastfeeding.



Poland is a poorer, developing country and there are a lot of problems, so it's far from perfect here. The problem in the US is not money. It's cultural, partly due to too much influence from baby food industries.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2011

What do you mean didn't enjoy it, and how long was several months?
I'm not asking to judge you, i think its great you breastfed but its hard for everyone for the first few months so maybe you didn't give it a long enough go to see how nice it is?

Elizabeth - posted on 04/07/2011

I don't know why everyone is getting all up in arms..I agree with BF ..I did it for my children for several months ..it certainly wasnt for my benefit..I didn't enjoy it.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2011

Elizabeth, wet nurses were typically for rich women who were too posh to whip their boobs out.
A lot of the poorer babies got very sick from having to drink cows or goats milk.
Traditionally a whole tribe of women would breast feed the children and if the mother couldn't then it didn't matter because everyone breast fed them :)
I know some women legitimately cannot breast feed. I have a friend, and for whatever reason she never had ANY milk! Not a drop! Her son was bottle fed and i have no problem with that at all :)

However, wet nurses are still available everywhere and most countries and states have breast milk banks. I think all newborns AT LEAST need colostrum or breast milk and those women, like my friend. should first be offered a wet nurse to come into the hospital or milk from the bm bank :)
I wouldn't be too keen on having a wet nurse and if i couldnt breast feed and had the options of wet nurse, bank milk or formula, i would probably choose bank milk :) Then again i had a cousin breast feeding when i had my daughter so i would probably just ask her to squeeze me a couple of bottles lol.

We need. more education on breast milk benefits, more availability to donor milk, and less advertising for the benefits of formula :)

Sheila - posted on 04/07/2011

Let's not forget that only 2% of women are unable to breastfeed...this means that yes the majority of women can breastfeed, and decide not too...or make excuses...I have never stopped BFing my 13mth old, even when she was a few weeks old and my nipples were so sore and bleeding. I still BF her like that and will continue to do so until she is ready to be done with it. I have lost respect for women who don't BF..it's my opinion and that's how I feel. If you have the ability to give your child the best (BFing), then why wouldn't you?

Elizabeth - posted on 04/07/2011

Ania I think you are being a little ignorant and judgmental mind you ..I DID BF my children..even back in the 1700s there were women who couldnt breast feed and they had "wet nurses". A woman who was lactating would be hired to come feed the baby. This isn't something new this idea that some moms cannot BF, have trouble or are misinformed of how to do it properly.

Ania - posted on 04/07/2011

Plus I don't like this statement it's your body it's your baby it's your choice there should not be a choice in this case. Every woman should BF as along as possible, especially when they can stay home. I honestly can't stand excuses. And you are right you are trying to suggest something and they don't even try and then they act like victims saying that they wanted to but their supply was low, or that it hurt and other idiotic excuses

Ania - posted on 04/07/2011

I'm with you, it makes me so angry when women come up with these stupid excuses and just look for support. Sometimes I just want to say, well that's how it is but I would never quit. It was hard for me too, but I was very determined and maybe it's wrong that I have these thoughts but I just can't help it

Elizabeth - posted on 04/05/2011

Well, I will tell you that I went through the pain ..as you did..but for me it wasn't an enjoyable experience...I felt anxious and couldnt wait for the feedings to end ..even when there was no pain (this was with my first daughter)

With our second daughter I felt a lot more peaceful ..I looked forward to the breastfeeding times because it meant I had an excuse to sit my butt on the couch and do NOTHING while the house went to hell and the hubby watched our older daughter.

We will see how it goes with our 3rd daughter who is due in 8 weeks.

The experience isn't the same for everyone and I really don't think you should throw stones ..(even mental ones LOL).

Sarah - posted on 04/01/2011

I was also in excruciating pain! Every feed for months!
But i didn't stop bf because of it!
When my daughter was born i had almost no milk. It didn't come in for a couple of weeks, which meant she would breast feed for an hour, then unfortunately had to have formula, then i pumped, fed her the pumped milk, then breast fed for another hour! it was hell!!!!
My nips were always bleeding and so was my daughter's lip from sucking blisters so she would cry the whole time too.
In the end i pumped and bottle fed her mostly and breast fed her twice a day so she didn't forget how. It worked really well for us for hmm 3 months or so, then one day i was out of bottle milk, so breast fed her and it was perfect! Since then i have only breast fed her and she is 1!
I think women should do whatever works for them BUT that doesn't mean stopping breast milk because it hurts! That's PATHETIC! hahaha :) What sooks! If you can go through the pain of child birth (natural, drugs or C-section) you can certainly deal with a bleeding nipple, or a pump!
I have a friend who recently stopped bf her 4 week old baby because she didn't have enough milk...
She had more than enough 2 weeks earlier and had to pump after every feed because there was so much! She wouldn't try anything i suggested to boost her supply.. like stop giving him formula, she just stopped.
Women give up to easily and believe anything they are told!
I think everyone should try it out and give it a good shot because it is more than worth it!

I definitely agree with you Kimberly, i would lose respect for them too. :( I don't mean to judge, it's their baby, their choice, but i just can't help it when i see parents doing wrong by their kids for personal gain. :(
I don't think it matters that your friend chooses to pump and feed.. its still breast milk so it's still great. As long as she breast feeds a couple of times a day to keep her supply going and her kid's suck strong then i don't see a problem :)

Heather - posted on 04/01/2011

i had a different opinion of all this before i had a child. i've learned to sympathize.

yes, it is painful, horribly so in the beginning. for me, the pain lasted over two months, every single feeding. add to that a couple rounds of mastistis w/ hospital time. not fun. (i won't even go into the details of getting the blocked channels declogged-shudder). i was stubborn and kept going, but honestly, i gritted my teeth through almost every feeding for over two months. I looked at my husband every evening and said "one more day".

almost fifteen months later i'm still bfing and it's a breeze, but i remember acutely how tough it was in the beginning. if you don't have the support/advice you need, if you're struggling too much emotionally, if you're physically wiped out, it's overwhelming and i understand why folks give up. i'm very glad i kept with it, but that said, i also hope i could have forgiven myself if i had not managed it.

Codie - posted on 04/01/2011

i personally do agree with you. i am a younger mother, had my first at 19, and in my community there was only one other mother who chose to bf and stuck it out. the other moms stopped bc of the pain and one of them didn't even attempt it bc of the horror stories she'd heard about it. i feel no amount of my pain is a reason to give your baby the lesser of the two options (meaning formula.) Even now, i'm expecting our second and i'm about 8 weeks. my nipples are already sore just from being pregnant, but on top of that my 9 month old has decided to cut teeth on mommy's nipples! ouch, talk about serious pain. i actually have lacerations but even so, i'm not giving up. why? bc i know how much better it is for my baby!! i'm willing to put myself through an endless amount of pain for the better of my children.