Is my baby too skinny?? I feel like I've failed as a mother...

Melissa - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 72 moms have responded )

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He was 9lbs when he was born and immediately dropped to 8 while we were in the hospital. It took him a whole month to get back up to over his birth weight. His pediatrician says he is healthy and even advanced in some ways and not to worry. Well I had to move away and now have to go somewhere else and the lady (not a good dr I was told from the nurse) said he is too skinny. He is just under 12lbs now at 3 1/2 months. He eats well, has plenty of dirty and wet diapers, does all the things everything says he should (gets sleepy after eating, at least 8 diaper changes a day..etc) I just don't know what to believe, every where I go people say "wow he is so tiny" "he's 3 months, wow my baby was twice his size by then" and so on and so forth and it really makes me feel like crap. I just need to know if anyone else is in my position. I really really really don't want to give my baby formula, I am very passionate about exclusively breastfeeding him. I just don't want him to be unhealthy.

I guess most of this is to vent because I feel like I have failed as a mother. but if anyone is going through anything like me or has please let me know. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you ladies!

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Kambre - posted on 12/24/2009

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Hi Melissa,
I have a "skinny" daughter. She was born 6lbs 6 ozs. At 1 year she is 16.1 lbs. She was always a little below the chart. At 6 months she was 13 lbs and her doctor was concerned I was not feeding her properly. I breastfed 95% and table food 5% at about 6 months. She has never had formula, and sometimes I worry also about the low weight, but everything else about her is "normal"
She is developmentally on track..length 30 in, head size normal, walking, pronouncing words and sounds, signing...She is not a sickly girl and eats all day long, just skinny. Our doctor had made us feel guilty and so far only offers to do tests for a disease and vitamins as a solution.

Dilek - posted on 03/08/2012

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OH my God! I am in exactly the same position. I feel like Ive failed too :(

Sarah - posted on 09/25/2010

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Im dealing with this too. My girl is 6 months now and eveyrone tells me she is sooo skinny! Doc says she is healthy. At 3 months I went through hell and people were saying wow.."she's 3 months? there's nothing to her!" and I was like aaaaaaaah because she just started daycare and refused the bottle all day until I was there. I am still exclusively breastfeeding today and she is still a healthy baby...I say...shut up :) to whoever thinks it's ok to make you feel like crap when you KNOW you're baby is happy and healthy!

Kacy - posted on 12/26/2009

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One more thing! Old Navy makes toddler pants with adjustable waists and Baby Gap used to make a toddler slim (don't know if they still do). Not trying to endorse, just tired of high-water pants that fit around the middle, or pant that fit the legs, but end up around her ankles ;)

Courtney - posted on 12/24/2009

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DO NOT look at simply weight. Get the growth charts for a breastfed baby and then plot your child's weights on there. If his percentiles have stayed within plus or minus 10% of where he was born then according to my doc the child is fine. My son was born at 7% for weight and 98% for height so he has always looked very skinny. My doctor's rule means my son should be between 0-17% at any point. If your child is truly not following the growth curve then you may want to try different feeding techniques to ensure he is getting the most hindmilk possible. Feed from one side until the child is done and then latch them back onto that side if they will. Do not switch sides until you have tried relatching on the first side. My son didn't hit 12 lbs until he was almost 9 months old!

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Kacy - posted on 12/26/2009

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Take a deep breath momma. You are doing what is BEST for him by breastfeeding.

If he is growing (even slowly) then he is most likely fine.
My second to youngest was very tiny, not premie, just super little. Every time someone commented on how little she was(and EVERYONE did), I felt it was some failing of mine (logically I knew better, but inside it just killed me)
My 'Peanut' was 5lbs 6oz at birth, and at almost 4yrs. weighs in at a whopping 27lbs.(with her sz.6 shoes on)
You know what her pediatrician said? "She's not going to win any prizes for being big is she?" AND LEFT IT AT THAT. She is way ahead of the curve on cognitive and verbal, so I figure she is growing her brain first (ONLY KIDDING!) She was breastfed till she was 2 1/2, and has always been a good eater, so as long as she keeps growing and getting smarter by the minute, I don't worry anymore, and I let myself off the hook long ago.
Sounds like you are doing everything right.
Hang tough momma, and try to find a more supportive healthcare professional.
Good luck

Clare - posted on 12/26/2009

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he sounds just fine my little boy was 14lb 7 oz at 6 months and it was only when i started him on solids that him put on a bit more at his 7 month checkup he was 15lb 5 an 69 cm x

Sophie - posted on 12/26/2009

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Maybe he is judt as small baby! Is he gaining weight at the same rate? As long as his weiight gain hasnt stalled and he isnt losing weight dont listen to what anyone says and if he is reaching all his milestones then youar edoing an amazing job and giving your baby the best start in life

Sara - posted on 12/25/2009

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My child is also "petite." She has always been really active (even as an infant) and she has grown on her own curve. One pediatrician said to me "I might worry about her size, but all I have to do is look at her to know she is thriving!"

Something important to know is that the growth scales they are based on formual fed babies who generally trend larger than breastfed babies. If your baby is content, having enough wet/dirty diapers, and is eating to his satisfaction... then you're doing great, momma! There are a lot of mothers who over-feed their babies by not learning to read their "full" signals... so don't beat yourself up! If you've learned how to do that, then you're really doing the right thing for your baby in the long run.

That said, I totally know how you feel, however. My mother-in-law told me when my girl was 13 months old (and running EVERYWHERE) that my child has a weight problem, and if I didn't start feeding her more, she was never going to grow.

This, of course, after she ate more at her meal than my 7 year-old niece usually eats. I generally let my daughter eat until she is satisfied, and try not to push her to eat more (within reason... now that she is 16 months, sometimes she'd rather play than eat, or eat only fruit and no protein)

Rachel - posted on 12/25/2009

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Watch the baby, not the scales :) Its sounds like your baby is showing all the signs of being happy, healthy, gaining, and developing. My first son was way down on the charts used by American peds and his first ped pushed formula. I refused and got a new doc :p I don't feel the need to make my kid gain weight simply for the sake of gaining weight. To me, that is unhealthy and detrimental to my son's long-term health. His second ped, who was pretty knowledgeable about breastfeeding and was really happy that I came to my appointment with my son's growth plotted on the new WHO charts (a few years ago they released the latest version, based on breastfeeding), thought that his weight reflected how most kids should be because she believed most babies are too fat from being stuffed with formula and food :p My boy was breastfed and started veggies, fruits and meats after six months. At four years old, my son is still a slender little guy. As well as very healthy and happy and strong :)

My second son is on the other end of the spectrum and is a chubby little guy who at six months was a bit over 18 pounds and starting to wear 18 month clothing. We get both "wow, he's HUGE" and "Oh My GOD! He is sooooo tiny for his age! Are you sure you're feeding him enough?" *shrug* There will always be someone out there looking to find fault with what you are doing. Unfortunately, a lot of peds are ill-informed about breastfed babies and so many of them fall into that camp :p

Cori - posted on 12/24/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

Has he consistently gained weight, even if it's just a little, since that first initial weight loss after the birth? Is he active, alert, meeting developmental milestones?

He's obviously not dehydrated.

I'd venture to say he's a normal kid, with normal genes, who is exclusively breastfed. Not everyone has to fit the average.

For some consolation, both of my girls were in the 50th percentile for weight from birth until 6 months and then bam!- they dropped down to the first and have remained there ever since.


i have meetings with a lactation consultant and she said that a lot of breastfed babies go from being HUGE in the upper percentiles and then radically drop down to lower percentiles after 6 months... we as breastfeeders i believe are aware of it but it seems like some doctors (who seem to be paid off by formula companies) wont believe that our babies are perfectly healthy and developing normally. my babies new dr is trying to say that he is failing to thrive because he hasnt gained much weight since 9 months but he is above and beyond developmentallly and always has been.. my lactatin consultant said that its a phenom about the breastfed babies dropping off the charts around 6 months and that drs need to be more accepting of it. the drs on our base push formula from birth because apparently they think that i cant nourish my baby properly with the best food for him. drives me crazy. sorry for venting!

Christy - posted on 12/24/2009

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I have twins that are breastfed. One twin is average size while the other is small. She wasn't even 12 pounds at her 6 month appointment. My doctor says she is perfectly healthy and seems to be a very happy baby. She is a little different though because she was only 4 and a half pounds when she was born but I still get it every time people see her.

"She is so tiny!"

"Is there something wrong with her?"

"Why don't you switch to formula?"

I just tell them she is small and will probably always be that way. She is a big personallity in a small package.

Sarah - posted on 12/24/2009

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Hi Melissa, i have exactly the same problems as you. My baby is 20mths old and is still able to wear most of her 3-9mths clothings, now weighing only 7.8kg. Evrywhere i go people are saying y is she so small. Well, im small and petite and both my parent in law says that she is small because she has my genes. I doubt so as i have frens that are much much smaller than I but their kids are big at their age. I have brought her to specialist as the pediatrician is worried about her growth but there seems to be nothing wrong with her. I am still worried untill now y is her weight and height growing so slow.. She is breasfeeding still and eating well too now. She used to be a very fussy and difficult eater.
As long as she is active and happy, i am beginniong to accept that it is ok if she is small, petite or skinny but healthy. I too felt most of the time that i have failed whenever somebody commented on her but deep down in side, i tell myself, i have never neglected my responsibility and they can say what they want.

Jessica - posted on 12/24/2009

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My Friends baby is 7 months old and she weighs 15lbs and she looks chubby, every baby is different, people say my son is small too but he's healthy that all i care about, dont worry what other people think, you have not failed as a mother at all!!

Kylie - posted on 12/23/2009

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I have the opposite with my son, he was 8lbs 6 at birth and 16 lbs at three days shy of 3 months, fully breastfed never had anything but.. apparently he is fat. But atleast i know he is getting enough.

Like everyone else is saying, if he has enough wet and pooie nappies, is growing at a constant steady rate (whatever that rate is, so long as its steady) and is meeting his milestones (3/5 months, he is probably starting to roll, laughing, holding his head up well) and is a happy baby then I dont think there is a problem. Ofcause you should always seek medical advice (and get a second/third opinion too if you need it) if you are concerned.

Ju - posted on 12/23/2009

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Melissa, I totally know how you feel. When my LO was 1mo, my dad secretly told my mum that he looked like he was mulnutritioned. I breastfed him exclusively... he grew to be quite a chubby within 4 months but I was worried in the first 2-3 months coz he was still small... I kept wondering if I am giving him enough and got defensive and felt like I was a bad mother each time someone commented about his weight. I read up a lot during that time and the books and pediatrician says, he's growing well. In my culture, we look at the soiled diapers, if he poos daily, it shows he got enough AND if he pees, it shows sufficient liquids. We even guess at health by the color & consistency of baby's poo and the color of his pee ;-). By the way, formula doesn't equate bigger babies... my sister's cute little 18mo son has been a little underweight since birth and he was formula fed! Your baby sounds fine... don't let anyone make you feel like you're a bad mummy. You only know how much you love and care for him. I believe so long as he seems alert and is growing, we shouldn't worry about which percentile he is. AND if in doubt, ask the pediatrician.

Leticia - posted on 12/23/2009

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that's ridiculous! that nurse needs to keep her mouth shut. i'm sure your son is perfectly fine. My daughter only weighed 14 lbs 11 oz at her 11 MONTH check up! all babies gain weight differentlly. IF you dont wanna give him formula dont. i sure as hell refused to give my daughter formula, and lots of ppl have told me to, i've gotten the " oh, was she a preemie?!" you have not failed as a mother people are just mean and nosey!

Eve - posted on 12/23/2009

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Hi, please don't be so hard on yourself, babies are never the same size or weight! You do your best for your baby and that's more than enough. As far as weight goes he'll catch up at his own pace, am sure he'll be great. All the best.

Korie - posted on 12/23/2009

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My daughter was 6 pds 7 oz when she was born. As of her last check-up she was 12 pds. She was almost 5 months. She is small and she is exclusively breast fed. I was told by a Le Leche League leader that the charts the doctors use are for formula fed babies. I think it is hard to be confidant especially when it is your first child. My pediatrition also told me that as long as they are reaching developmental milestones and are gaining some everything is ok. Switch dr.s there are enough things to worry about when you are a mom.

Don't let them tell you to formula feed!!

Ashley - posted on 12/23/2009

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Babies come in all sizes and shapes. Don't listen to other people. My little girl was small too but perfectly healthy. Sounds like your baby is perfectly healthy to me, trust in what you do sound's like everything is fine. *hugs*

Leah Van - posted on 12/23/2009

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Don't worry, we went through the same thing. My daughter lost a lot of weight in the beginning and slowly regained. Our doctor is a great one and continued encouraging me to breastfeed. He asked how many wets and dirties she was having and they were much more than necessary. She is now 14 mos old and still petite and the doctor said as long as she looks healthy and is continuing to make her milestones and continues to grow at her rate, that's what matters. She eats what seems to be all the time and is just a very active child. People still tell us, oh, she's so tiny and compare how their child was at her age and I say to them, "wow, yup, my daughter is just petite" and I walk away and not let it get to me. All children come in different shapes and sizes. My daughter may be petite, but she's tall and healthier than ever. I'm not worried about your little guy and you shouldn't be either. Find a better doctor and don't let her or anyone else get to you. Babies are different sizes for a reason, as long as he's healthy, pooping and peeing as necessary, don't worry. Don't get frustrated with the breastfeeding either, you are doing the best thing for your son and know that I am here for you if you need to vent some more, I know exactly what your going through:)

Sarah - posted on 12/23/2009

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In addition, we did have "weight issues" with my son. He also 'dropped' from the 50% to the 5% and at 9 months old and now sits at the 40% at 15 months old. He weighs 23lbs now. I also have a lot of people who make comments about his weight (which to me is rude because NO ONE should ever have the right to comment about anyone elses weight baby or not). I say, "he is healthy, he is happy, so I must have done something right." We exclusively breastfed for 6 months before introducing solids and I continued to breastfeed until 14 months when HE decided he was done (family and friends and medical personele were pressuring me to stop breastfeeding - I waited until he started refusing the breast). Ben grows at his own rate and some people look at him and say he's so big, some think he's so small. I just figure people base their opinions on the babies they have had personal experience with. I find most people who formula fed think he's small because he's not chunky like most formula babies. Most who breastfed think he's big or just fine. Ultimately, what is important is that he is healthy and I don't regret a single decision I made around breastfeeding my child.

Sarah - posted on 12/23/2009

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For the record: Doctors go by growth charts and look at how the babies grow. If your baby was at the 50% percentile at birth then dropped down to the 5% percentile, this could be a cause for concern. There are medical conditions that could cause an inadequate weight gain. Having said this, growth charts are not an exact science, they were developed in the 60's and 70's when MOST babies were formula fed. Ask your doctor if he/she is using a growth chart based on breast fed babies, this could make a difference since they have different growth patterns. In addition, every baby is different and will grow at different rates. Some babies are smaller, some bigger. If you doctor is mildly concerned but states babe is healthy, continue on what you are doing, if he is concerned, then you may want to look at supplementing (with expressed breast milk or formula). You may also try pumping and not supplementing, but it will increase your milk supply. Good luck!

Anita - posted on 12/23/2009

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My baby is the exact same way and is totally healthy, every baby grows at their own rate so don't let others tell you otherwise, you're doing a great job and have a healthy baby!

Angela - posted on 12/23/2009

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Just to make you fill a little better. My second soon was born 5lb 14oz. He got jaundice and dropped down to 5lbs 3oz. At his 4 month appt he was only 11lbs 5oz. My first son was that size at 2 months. My youngest is way under weight. We had to start putting cereal in his formula to make him gain weight. now he is heavier and eats alot more. Breast milk is the best thing to give your baby. Do it for as long as you can. Every baby is different. You can't compare your baby to others. The doctors go off of a chart based off the average size of a baby which is a little over 6lbs at birth. If you fill your baby is under weight. When you feed your son from the bottle put a little cereal in it to help put the weight on them. Another thing I have learned the doctor may know a lot but they aren't with your child and know the needs of your child. As long as your baby is doing what he is supposed to do , eat, poop, sleep and cry then you are good. You are a great mom for concerned and you always will be don't let nobody tell you any different.

[deleted account]

Here's a quick update on my "small" "tiny" "petite" boy. He will be 3 in February and is now tipping the scales at a whopping 14kgs (approx. 30 lbs). Today, he's decided to count to ten, for no reason other than because he likes counting. He can also count to 5 in Japanese (the 2nd of his 3 languages).

To be considered "school ready" in Queensland (Australia), the child has to be able to count to 5, recognise the numbers, know the alphabet and write his/her name. Seth can already do 3 of the 4. Forget about size, breastfeeding makes 'em smart. So give your son the boob as long as you can!

Tracy - posted on 12/22/2009

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Hi my daughter is 3 months old and breastfed only. She just had her check up and is 12lbs 12oz my Dr. says she's in the 75% for weight! So your son should be very close to that!! Don't worry your doing everything right! My nephew is 7 months and only 16lbs 7oz. So your right on track!!!

Kelli - posted on 12/22/2009

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you dont need to feel like you've failed . my daughter was the same way . shes 4 now and just now 30 pounds . she can still fit in 18 month shorts . i would try a different pediatrician . oh and my daughter was formula fed so dont think that will fatten him up . your doing a good job momma !

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2009

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Goodness! I'd have been ecstatic if my daughter had weighed almost 12lbs at 3-1/2 months! She was born at 5lb 4oz, and lived in borrowed preemie clothes until she was 3mos, when she was finally big enough not to get lost in the newborn size clothes. She was in 0-3 mo size until about 6months. At 18 months I had a pediatrician give me crap because he thought she didn't weigh enough. He found out she was still bfing and told me that was "the problem," that she should have been drinking cow milk by then. She will be 6yo at the end of December, and is still a small person, but she is bright and friendly and energetic. She had a minor outpatient surgery last week and the doc commented that she was very mature for her age and very smart -- "pretty scary-smart, actually." That's extended bfing for you!



The only time I've ever supplemented with formula was in the hospital when they insisted that they wouldn't release her until she started gaining weight. She was a couple of weeks early, and my milk wasn't in yet, so we basically force-fed her as much formula as she could hold, the nurse weighed her with wet diapers to tip the scale as much as possible, and we went back to EBF the moment we got her home.



As long as your child is healthy and happy, there is no reason whatsoever to feel bad because they don't fit somebody's preconceived notion of how much a baby should weigh at whatever age. It sounds like you are doing everything right, except for the part where you care too much about what people think. I know it's frustrating when you hear ignorant people comment on things they think they know about. Just take a deep breath and enjoy your happy, healthy babe!



Take care,

Sarah

Amber - posted on 12/22/2009

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my son has always been in 10 % and he was just bf baby and now that he is 1 and still bf and eat solids he is still in the 10 % . so i would not worry.

Danielle - posted on 12/21/2009

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My baby is now 8 onths old and is the size of an average 4 month old- he does all he is supposed to but is little! Doctors think it may be Iron deficiency b ut waiting for blood results! All my children have been small for age but are all very healthy and happy. All the well meaning ladies at the shopping centres would tell me to put them on bottles but they were all content. Just listen to your instincts- if he is happy and obviously doing all he should with plenty of wet nappies then do what feels right. You have not failed if he is happy!!

Jeanette - posted on 12/21/2009

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Melissa,
I am feeling the exact same way! My little girl is going to be 4 months on Wednesday and I guarentee she is under 12 pounds. She goes in for her checkup on Wednesday and we will find out exactly how much she weighs. Everyone says she is too tiny. She has little rolls on her legs and little dimples on her knees and backs of her arms but she is still small. She was born 6 pounds 4 ounces. She eats constantly all day long and has plenty of wet and dirty diapers. She is very active, so I am hoping she just has a high metabolism. Also, I am small and so are her grandma's. I know other moms who exclusively breastfeed and have kids only a few weeks apart from my daughter and their babies are very chubby and are weighing 13 pounds. My husband says I shouldn't worry and that she is fine the way she is. We just have to remind ourselves that we are NOT bad mothers (even though we feel like it sometimes). :)

Simone - posted on 12/21/2009

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hi, baby sounds just fine. my baby girl was 7lb 3oz born, she is now 4 months old and weighs 16lbs, she's a little dumpling, i'm fully breastfed so don't worry about it. if your slim and daddy's slim baby most likely will be slim. i'm slim but daddy's not to slim lets just say that, lol, and my baby girl is a stamp of her father. don't worry that much.

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2009

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My daughter is 3 1/2 months old is is just under 12lbs just like your LO. I've seen many babies her age and older than her that are much bigger but her Doc says she's just fine. I only breastfed for the first three weeks adn have been formula feeding since then so don't think switching to formula will help him gain weight. Stick with the breast feeding if it works for you! Everyone that sees her also says she's tiny too but I know she is happy and the Doc says she's healthy, that's all that matters.

Kristi - posted on 12/21/2009

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My daughter is the same way Shes 7lbs 10oz and 2 moths old and Im really tired of the "oh my shes way to little's" everytime we see ppl. I breast feed her for a month and she just never gained weight back. She was 8lbs 1oz when she was born and droped all the way down to 6lbs 9oz so the doctor pretty much made me switch her to formula and now shes bearly gaining an oz a week. Shes perfictly fine just like your son maybe they just want to be healthy and skinny. I think were doing fine as mothers as long as our children are happy and learning and healthy.

Toni - posted on 12/21/2009

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Sweetie, you NOT a failure as a mommy!! You are doing everything that your baby needs and wants. Don't listen to people tell you "oh he's just so tiny, mine was twice that size" blah, blah, blah. My 2nd child was born at 7lbs 1oz and when she came home she was only 6lbs 5oz. She was literally in premie clothes until she was 4 or 5 months old. I breast fed her too. There really is no "norm" for a child. My pediatrician never made me feel like I under fed her, or that she was too little for her age. He was happy that she was steadily gaining weight, even if it was only a couple of ounces a week. She just happend to be petite. She is 5yrs old now, and still only weighs 30lbs. She's happy and healthy. Your baby sounds happy, healthy and right where he needs to be. So when people say something dumb, just smile and say he's perfect to me. LOL. At least, that's what I always said. Shuts people up pretty fast too. Don't worry, your doing GREAT

Molly - posted on 12/21/2009

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Quoting Nicole:

Hun, you are a great mum!! dont let any text-book average make you think otherwise!! you baby is just not average - but he's still doing well. he's not dropping and got good diapers - sont you worry what that doctor says! your doing great xx ((((hugs))))
my son was born two weeks early and is a little thinner too. i also breast feed. but as i have noticed most formula fed babies look like lil marshmellows, just rolls and rolls. if this has been the average weight of baies on formula for the past few decades and new science has shown that breast is so much better than formula, than it's going to take a lil time for the averages to realign and correspond.



Well you made me LOL beacuse between two and 9 months DD was like the micheline baby and she is breastfed, lol (but this was just her arms and legs)



OP, You have got to remember that those charts that the ped uses are for formula babies. Peds are the last person you should talk to about breastfeeding. Your son it at a normal weight. It mght be on the low end, but the breastmilk is fulfilling the weight that he is destined to be genetically.



 



He is steady gaining. this is what matters. DD gained a whole heap bt 6 months. (9 lbs since birth) but has only gained another couple of pounds after 6 months. (because she has been so active - and this is normal too, for the weight gain to slow but still gaining is the key).

Amber - posted on 12/21/2009

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Quoting Amie-lee:

My son is 11 weeks and weighs 13.6lbs. I've been told to breast feed him less as he feeds to often and a bit over weight. He only feeds 6 times in 24hours. Apparently he should be about 12.1lbs for his age.


That's crazy.  I exclusivly breastfeed and my 7 week old son weighs 12 pounds already! And he was born at 6lbs 4 oz!

Heather - posted on 12/21/2009

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Quoting Amie-lee:

My son is 11 weeks and weighs 13.6lbs. I've been told to breast feed him less as he feeds to often and a bit over weight. He only feeds 6 times in 24hours. Apparently he should be about 12.1lbs for his age.



Thats crazy, if hes hungry, feed him. I dont think they can be "overweight" at 11 weeks old off breastmilk alone.

Heather - posted on 12/21/2009

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Your baby sounds just fine. If hes happy and healthy, thats what matters. As long as hes gaining weight and eating, dont worry yourself too much. Some kids are just small. My first daughter was 17lbs when she turned one. Shes always been on the bottom of the charts, at 7 years old she has almost hit 50lbs.

Amie-lee - posted on 12/21/2009

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My son is 11 weeks and weighs 13.6lbs. I've been told to breast feed him less as he feeds to often and a bit over weight. He only feeds 6 times in 24hours. Apparently he should be about 12.1lbs for his age.

Mandy - posted on 12/20/2009

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You have to remember, all kids are different! My 2nd son was so huge, he was 20 lbs at 6 months! But my youngest is 5months and is almost 13 lbs! Huge difference! As long as the diapers are consistant and baby is eating consistantly, I wouldn't stress! As soon as baby starts eating solids, he'll chunck out! :o)! Just know you are doing to very best for your baby! Don't let one dumb dr. make you feel like a failure!

Kat - posted on 12/20/2009

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The chart being used in Australia is the WHO chart which I can only assume is the same chart being used elsewhere. This chart is currently being revised by the WHO as it is an average of every child in every culture all over the world - formula & breast fed. Some Asian cultures have much smaller babies, some European cultures have much bigger babies, so these charts are only a guide. Also what the current chart doesn't factor in is that BF babies often plateau around 6 months & the weight gain levels off a bit, which is one of the major factors in these charts being reviewed.

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You are NOT a failure! I've felt that exact same way (with each of my kids), but it's really that other people are insensitive and just plain old boobs! (and not the good kind)

When you chart his weight gain, you should be using his discharge weight as the starting point. (not birth weight, since babies lose weight while waiting for your milk to come in) Next, I've heard quite a lot about the charts in the US being based solely on formula fed babies (which I find almost insulting). This chart will ALWAYS be incorrect for your baby. Find a chart that factors in breastfed babies. Our charts here in Australia do just this. And, if you find your baby doesn't follow a line on the chart, that is okay too! Sometimes babies make their own line, but as long as they are gaining and roughly double their weight by 6 months they and are generally happy, content babies with plenty of wet nappies... they are fine. You're son only has 4 pounds to double his discharge weight, with 3 months to go... sounds good to me!

All this information has comes straight from our doctor to me (except the US charts of course), because I've felt horrible about my boys falling off the chart, which each has done to varying degrees. My second son actually fell OFF the chart and on his 6 month dr visit, our doc said that since he'd be starting solids, we'd give it a month to see if things improved. It did, but the fact that he'd been slowing in weight gain for 2 visits (4 and 6 months) our doctor didn't jump up and down about it but rather let things go and monitored it just to see how things went for a while was reassuring. My first son had also had a blip downward at about the same point (not as far down as the second though), so she wasn't too surprised. If his weight hadn't started improving after starting solids, she said we'd do a blood test and start to investigate.

The reality is that I have small babies (8lbs and 7lbs, go figure)... well, petite babies. They aren't actually much smaller than average, but because there are so many obese (usually formula fed) babies out there, people are so used to the chubby bubby look.

Like you, I've always got the "Oh wow, he's SO SMALL!" from strangers as well as my husband's family. To this day their 'grandparents' call my firstborn "Little Seth"... even though he's only about an inch shorter than his cousin who is 3 weeks older. It's very irritating, but thankfully while he may not be big he is smart. He is tri-lingual, usually picks new things up after being shown once, can carry out complex instructions (given 3-4 tasks in one instruction), readily shares, is polite and well-mannered. I'd rather have him as he is than to have him any bigger. Not to mention he gets sick once to every 4-5 illnesses his cousins (all formula fed) go through.

So, I know where you're coming from. The worst is when hubby says the same nasty things that the others do. He needs to be educated. You're doing what's best for baby (and you), so if you're gut says things are okay then they probably are. The only advice I'd give you is find another doctor... who actually knows what they're talking about. It sounds like the nurse was right about this one. She (the nurse) might be a good person to ask for a referral to a good doctor!

As for having people telling you that he's small... unfortunately you may always get that. My firstborn is 34 months, and I've been hearing it ever since he was 5 days old. Best thing to do, ignore it and chalk it up to people being ignorant.

FELICIA - posted on 12/20/2009

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My son is 11 1/2 months and when we took him to WIC on the 2nd, he weighed almost 19 pounds. The lady said that he has slow-growth but his pediatrician said that he is fine. He has been EBF since birth and I am having the same problem as you. Every time someone sees my son and the find out that he is a BF baby they ask me why is he so small and that he should be so much bigger. I say, if your new doctor says that your baby is fine, then don't worry about what everyone else has to say. And also don't let them make you feel like you are a bad mother especially if their opinions are just off of the fact that he "looks" too small.

Erin - posted on 12/20/2009

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you have to be kidding me. sweetie he sounds just fine. my boy was 6.7 when he was born, my boyfriend and i are both very thin people. he's almost 16 mo.s now and weights in at 23 pounds and he's about 32 inches long. i myself had concerns for my boy but my doctor says he's perfect and i have a great ped. it was wrong of that doctor to speak to you in that manner in the first place, and he sounds like he's doing just fine to me.

Kat - posted on 12/20/2009

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My daughter was consistently on the 5% line. The doctors had me in every month weighing her and discussing possibly putting her on formula. They were never going to wear me down. She poo'd & wee'd plenty every day. She met & exceeded all her milestones. She slept through the night from 3 weeks old & had wonderful naps during the day. She was otherwise the 'text book' baby. The baby every mother dreams of. She is just slight. We say she is a pretty petite girl, as girls should be. That's just our thing we say. They also need to take into account what you & the baby's father were like as babies. It could be your son's genetics. No amount of formula is going to change that.
I think the main things are: weight gain (doesn't matter how much), poo's, wee's, sleep, happiness & meeting mental & physical milestones. If you've got all those covered then your doctor can jam it!

Bethany - posted on 12/20/2009

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charts make people crazy! you know your baby is happy and healthy! don't worry! and be happy you aren't carrying around a 20+ pounder all day like i am! don't forget: breast is best!

Nisha - posted on 12/19/2009

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I am still brestfeeding my little girl who is 15 months old. She is at the bottom of the weight chart for her age but is healthy in every other way, and is more advanced than my son was at the same age. My son was also breastfed and was always at the top of the weight charts! I don't think its anything you are doing, every child is different and we can't always measure them by someone elses guide. Hope this helps!

Tiffany - posted on 12/19/2009

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i would dismiss any advice from a pediatrician that s nurse would come right out and tell you that she is bad at her job

Tiffany - posted on 12/19/2009

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when i was born i was 9 lbs 4 oz s and 21in and i stay 18 lbs til i was 4 years old and i was breastfed and was totally healthy i was just skinny then now you would not have ever known it aside from being a little tall from my age i was always average growing up as long as the dr says your baby is healthy i would tell anyone who says he is too small that the dr says he is perfectly healthy. i bet they wont have a thing to say to that

Olivia - posted on 12/19/2009

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Dont think u have failed 12 Ibs is a great wieght, and all babies lose weight in the hospital and some dont gain till after a mos, that dr is crazy, my baby was a big baby she was 12 Ibs at her 2 mos but every child is different, body type and everything and u said at least 8 diapers u know hes eating as long as he dosnt lose weight ur great, i wouldnt worry, dont ever doubt urself as a mom just being concerned makes u a great mother

Ronda - posted on 12/19/2009

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My girls are right around the same weight. One of them is right at 12 lbs and the other is around 10.6 lbs and they are 13 weeks. Don't let the doctor get you down. As long as he is eating well and going through diapers like he should I wouldn't be too concerned. I would also look for another pediatrician. It sounds like this one may cause more trouble than it's worth.

ME - posted on 12/19/2009

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My son was 8 and a half pounds at birth (definately not small), and he is now 22 mths, and 23lbs...he's in about the 20% for his weight, but he's always followed his own growth pattern, and his pediatrician has NEVER made me feel bad that he is skinny. He was breastfed until he was about 19 months; I had to quit because I am preggers again, and wasn't gaining any weight. He eats when he is hungry, drinks lots of milk, and has boundless energy. I am tall and thin, his grandfathers are tall and thin, and his dad is short and thin...there are lots of reasons for babies to grow the way they do, and no two kiddos are the same. I would find a ped. who thinks for him or herself, and not according to growth charts...DON"T worry about it!

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