is this neglect???

Racheal - posted on 08/10/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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ok first off i know this is a breastfeeding forum but i love your ladies opinions so here it goes

is it neglect when a parent has admitted that they know there is something wrong with their child(mentally) and knw that child needs intense thereapy but do not want to take him for fear of what will happen to THEM?? what about the kid???? this kid is up til 2 or 3 in the morning with screaming fits banging the walls and floor and everything. and the worst part is is that he has a baby sister who they allow to sleep in the same room as this is going on!!! she has become affected because she is starting the same stuff!! and on top of that because they get sick of him they allow him to be outside unserpervised damn near all day!!! he is 6 might i add!! i am a concerned and truly dont know what to do! should i call CPS?????? please help

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10 Comments

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Anna - posted on 08/12/2010

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If you are that concerned, absolutely call CPS. They will be the ones to decide if they have enough to even investigate it. Another thing you can do is call the Police for a wellness check if you know the 6 y.o. is outside unsupervised, but do it when you know he is out. If they see it as necessary, they too will call CPS. It is a delicate thing to get involved in someone else's business, but that child needs to come first and like one of the other writers said, they may scare the family at first, just because it's CPS, but in the long run they are really there to get the family help and get this little boy help. Good luck!

Dora - posted on 08/12/2010

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If you truly believe that he is in danger then call CPS. Just make sure first because CPS will launch a full investigation. You sound like you really know the family well. Are they people you can speak to and maybe try to understand what is going on with their situation? I am also concerned about the little girl they are putting in the same room with him. You don't want him doing something to her because of something he cannot control and then having to live with that for the rest of his life. That just would not be fair to either him or the little girl.

Tenille - posted on 08/12/2010

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You will be fine. They usually keep u anonomous anyway even when asked by a client. And if it ever goes to court for them it will be the last thing they should be worried about.
You have done the right thing because if anything..... the people can give this family the advice and point them in the right direction. Including child behaviourable issues. You may have taken the first step that the mother was too scared to so good on you.
P,S, I have personally been involved with Child protection services and they will investigate and if they see no reason to follow up concerns once they have visited then it will all pass.
You cant help to want to save these kids before they end up like their siblings with behaviour issues but in the end if there is no abuse it is entiley up to the parents to take the action needed to help these kids.
Dont feel bad at all.

Rebecca - posted on 08/11/2010

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Yes, it is neglect and I will tell you the same thing every social worker, nurse, and Doctor told me before I called on someone I knew. If you suspect any kind of child abuse you should call. You can remain anonymous, it is always better to call than to hear later that something horrible happened that you could have prevented. It is in my personal opinion that if you know of abuse and you do not call than you are no better than the people doing the abusing/neglecting. Please do not take that in the wrong way I was in you same situation and asked for many peoples opinions before finally calling and thank god that child is with his father now instead of his mom and very abusive step dad. The sad thing is his own Mother chose her husband over him.

Racheal - posted on 08/11/2010

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ok guys so after much much debate i called!! i called at first and said i have some info i think might be neglect whats your opinion and the woman sounded very concerned for him so i let her send it in as a formal complaint....but i dont feel better, im actually scared because i didn't stay annonymous!!!! she said if the children need to be removed or for whatever reason they need more info to help the kids they wouldn't be able to...so i gave it :// im stressed!! the dad has a very violent history!! but she assured me they could only find out who called it in unless the records were suppenad by court..so thats good right????????????

Tanya - posted on 08/11/2010

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I agree with Michelle ... CPS or Child Welfare is there is help and protect as needed. They are not the enemy. If they can jump in and add assistance or understanding they will.
I would give them a call and explain the situation. But make sure you know what you are talking about and know as much of the story as you can. If you mess up the story or missunderstand what is going on, however you know the parents you might ruin the relationship. Also, depending on how the parents react to the call, and if they know it was you, they might try to take it out on you.
Just make sure you are prepared for you decision. But red flags do fly for me with that little bit of information you have given.

Michelle - posted on 08/10/2010

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First off do you know everything that is going on at their house?
Second off...... My views on CPS are this...... If there is no reason for them to take action against the parents, they won't . If they do take action against the parents then there is a viable reason for them to step in and do what is in the best interest of the child.
If there is mental issues with this child CPS can link the family with resources and make sure his needs are being addressed.
My oldest daughter had a scar on her face and MONTHS after the matter and it was healed completely for several months someone at the school decided to call them on me. I had nothing to hide , and when I told them about some behavioral issues we were addressing through a couple local places they asked if I would be willing to allow a voluntary case be opened and followed to make sure one of the places does not drop our daughter again like they did the last time.
I allowed it and they have been a HUGE help. Especially when we started having problems again with the one behavioral place lacking in services for our daughter.
They also helped me fight to get a better school placement for her in an approperate program.
I know a lot of people view them as the enemy, but as long as a parent is doing their job as a parent then there is no worries. If a parent is not doing their job , some times someone stepping in is best.
Good luck !

Kimberly - posted on 08/10/2010

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I would be concerned for both children as the 6 year old is dealing with some issues and the girl is being put in a dangerous situation when he has these fits. Warning bells sounded when I read that the parents were scared about what would happen to them??? Why would they think that something would happen to them unless they are some how causing the child to have the fits? Its a hard call to make and I dont know your relationship to the parents so just make sure that you are prepared that you could loss friends if you do call cps, good luck

Amy - posted on 08/10/2010

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I would be concerned for the baby sister, who knows what may happen if the 6 yr old is so out of control. If he takes one of his fits out on his sister then they'll really have to be concerned about what is going to happen to them. I don't know how close you are to these people but a red flag goes up when someone says they are concerned about themselves over the welfare of their children!

Kat - posted on 08/10/2010

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Hi,Even though you have such concern for the welfare of this child you might have to leave this to the so-called parents to sort out,you dont want anything to come back onto you,you know how some people can be.I dont know the whole story,of course.If you feel the child is in danger call the cps,or go and speak to any Health professional about your concern they can point you in the right direction.whatever you decide to do i wish you well x

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