Just looking for encouraging words of support...

Laurie - posted on 03/15/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )

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My daughter will be 1 year this week, and she is still primarily breastfed. I have no intention of weening her for several reasons. Two being that I know it's good for, and the other that she is allergic to dairy, so I am her milk.

I am surrounded by people who weened their children by 1 year at the latest. I don't personally know anyone who breastfed past that point. I know there are many on here who continued to breastfeed your children for a few years.

I know what I'm doing is fine and right, but I just get so annoyed and discourage by people's criticism because I haven't even started to ween my daughter yet. So I'm just looking for some encouragement.

Thanks!

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Itsamystery - posted on 03/17/2009

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Yay! Good on you. Don't worry what others say. Many people are really ignorant about breastfeeding and it's associated benefits. You might find that if you explain to them the benefits or why you have chosen to do it this way, they'll understand and support you (not that you should have to justify your choice to breastfeed, but it might help battle some of that ignorance).

If you can't be bothered explaining when people comment you can just say 'each to their own' or 'this works for us' or 'the WHO (world health organisation) recommends feeding for two years' or 'she's lactose intolerant but my milk is perfect for her' or 'I want her to have the immunity/emotional/development benefits of breastfeeding for as long as possible' or 'did you know that breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed a baby and around the world most people breastfeed longer than 1 year' or 'why should I wean when we're both happy to continue?'.

OR you can just ignore people's silly ignorant comments and say 'please pass the sauce' :)

You could also throw it back to them and say 'why is it that YOU think I should wean right now?'. or 'Why should I wean? Is there new research which shows that breastfeeding is harmful?'. Most people will realise that they are being pushy and nosey if you say it like this.

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Danielle - posted on 03/18/2009

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My niece nursed until 18 months and I plan to nurse for at least a year. You are a wonderful mommy and will do what is right for her and your family.

Lolly_loulou - posted on 03/18/2009

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i applaud you, you are doing what all mother should do, think of their childrens health first. do what feels right. if you do want to ween your little girl still use your milk in the baby rice and other food that can have milk added to it.. my little girl is 3 months old and 1 week. ive started to give her baby rice with my breast milk at lunch, just because she is such a hungry baby. but i will carry on breast feeding until i feel we are both ready to move on from this. that means it could be 1 yr to two yrs.. dont feel rushed.

Mandy - posted on 03/18/2009

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As my husband always said "It's your child, do what you want! " My kids were around 15 months old when I quit breastfeeding. You know what works for you and her child. Just smile at those who have something to say (good and bad) and do what you think is best!

Jessica - posted on 03/17/2009

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Hello...I have not had a child to nurse that long...my first two (now 7 and 5) stopped themselves around 10 months...now my 7 week old...who knows what she will do! But the way that I look at you just do whatever works for you and your child! And when you go home at the end of the day...who cares what others think! That may sound rude...but the truth! Just do what you feel is right...especially with her being allergic to milk! Got to scoot...mine is calling!

Micki - posted on 03/17/2009

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I only plan to breastfeed for a year and people think that is weird sometimes. . .I think it's great that you are doing that for her! I breastfed my first for 14 months because that is what worked for us and we will see how this one goes.

Lezanne - posted on 03/17/2009

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i breastfed my first son for only 2 months, after which my milk seemed to dry up and no one seemed to have any good advise for me on how to keep on feeding him, also people were actually encouraging me to put him on a bottle for various reasons, from convenience to my milk not being good enough, blah, blah...



this time round, though, i'm still feeding my now, 5 month old, second son. when i hit the two month difficult time, this time round i had plenty good advice, and pushed through. there were still all the critics, but this time round, i had the courage to ignore them.



i also later found out that all the sceptics were the ones that quit breastfeeding early and regretted doing so.



do what you and your child loves doing, not long from now, she'll get too busy to be bothered by nursing, so enjoy your special time and your special bond that no-one can take away from you, while it lasts.



you go, girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lezanne - posted on 03/17/2009

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i breastfed my first son for only 2 months, after which my milk seemed to dry up and no one seemed to have any good advise for me on how to keep on feeding him, also people were actually encouraging me to put him on a bottle for various reasons, from convenience to my milk not being good enough, blah, blah...



this time round, though, i'm still feeding my now, 5 month old, second son. when i hit the two month difficult time, this time round i had plenty good advice, and pushed through. there were still all the critics, but this time round, i had the courage to ignore them.



i also later found out that all the sceptics were the ones that quit breastfeeding early and regretted doing so.



do what you and your child loves doing, not long from now, she'll get too busy to be bothered by nursing, so enjoy your special time and your special bond that no-one can take away from you, while it lasts.



you go, girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lezanne - posted on 03/17/2009

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i breastfed my first son for only 2 months, after which my milk seemed to dry up and no one seemed to have any good advise for me on how to keep on feeding him, also people were actually encouraging me to put him on a bottle for various reasons, from convenience to my milk not being good enough, blah, blah...



this time round, though, i'm still feeding my now, 5 month old, second son. when i hit the two month difficult time, this time round i had plenty good advice, and pushed through. there were still all the critics, but this time round, i had the courage to ignore them.



i also later found out that all the sceptics were the ones that quit breastfeeding early and regretted doing so.



do what you and your child loves doing, not long from now, she'll get too busy to be bothered by nursing, so enjoy your special time and your special bond that no-one can take away from you, while it lasts.



you go, girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angela - posted on 03/16/2009

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my son is 11.5mths, in daycare 3 days a week, allergic to dairy and I don't think he'll be giving up the boob any time soon!! I love the time we spend together and of course the convenience. I too get comments about weaning him, even from my own mother!! Most of the time tho I think its more in relation making life easier for others (ie carers) I have no plan as to when weaning will occur but am sure when the time comes both Mitchell & I will know. In the meantime I'm opening the doors of experience to him. I love soy banana smoothies and share them with him. I also use soy formula on his cereal, have recently tried him on Soy yoghurt and he has a sipper cup of water within his grasp at all times. All of which he loves. But come 5pm its booby time and the days gastronomic adventures are over until tomorrow.



You know you are doing the right thing by your daughter and the bond you share is priceless. Keep up the good work you're doing an amazing job and try your best to let those negative comments slide by.



Also am not too sure how true it is, but I heard along a grapevine that around 12mths mothers produce another lot of colostrum which is fantastic for our children's brain development. Around this time apparently alot of bubs wean themselves due to being disgruntle about all the flavour changes. As I said am not sure how true this is.



Remember its all about your daughter and what makes you both happy. BTW Happy Birthday and if you're having a party hope it full of laughter and cheer.

Emily - posted on 03/16/2009

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Yay! I weaned my first at only 4 1/2 months for many reasons that I totally regret... but my second only recently weaned at 2 years 8 months, and my third is still going strong at 14 1/2 months. Definitely contact a LLL group if you can, and I believe there are a couple of communities on Circle of Moms specifically for those nursing past one year.

Melissa - posted on 03/16/2009

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Every child is different. You should do what is best for your baby in consultation with her doctor who I am sure won't have a problem with it. I personally intend to breastfeed for 6 months but does that mean that is right for you, absolutely not! It is just what suits my lifestyle and my baby's doctor says it is perfectly fine. While I personally don't agree with women who choose to breastfeed children who are 8 years old she is only 12 months and for all practical purposes is still a baby but even if I did not approve who cares what I think --it is your baby darling and you should do what is best for her in your opinion. People will always find something wrong with how you parent no matter what you do. I try hard to keep my opinions to myself unless they are solicited because I do not want people telling me how to raise my daughter. I wish people would mind their own business unless their opinions are asked for or they see a child is in immediate danger but of course they don't :) Good luck!

Melinda Mendy - posted on 03/16/2009

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YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB AND CONTINUE AS LONG AS YOU WANT ITS ABOUT YOUR CHILD, TELL THOSE PEOPLE THAT DISCOURAGE YOU, THAT IF THEY WANT TO BE SO CRITICAL THEN TELL THEM THEY BEST WAY THEY CAN HELP YOU IS TO START A COLLEGE FUND FOR HER OTHERWISE TELL THEM TO SHUT UP. I HAPPILY TELL PEOPLE THAT I BREASTFED MY SON UNTIL HE WAS ALMOST 3 YRS OLD. I DONT CARE WHAT OTHER THINK AND NEVER DO. I WORKED WITH WIC AS A BREASTFEEDING PEER COUNSLOR, TAUGHT CLASSES FOR MOMS AND WENT TO THE HOSPITALS TO HELP MOMS. WHAT I FOUND FRUSTRATING WAS THERE IS NOWHERE FOR A MOM TO TURN TO IF SHE NEEDS HELP, I TRIED TO START A GROUP IN MY TOWN BUT IT DIDNT WORK OUT. I STILL HELP AND ENCOURAGE ALL MOTHERS, STILL GIVE MY HOME NUMBER OUT IN CASE A MOM SHOULD NEED HELP OR ENCOURAGEMENT, NOTHING WORSE THAN A HUNGRY SCREAMING BABY AT 2AM THAT WONT LATCH ON AND NO ONE TO HELP AND THIS IS USUALLY WERE MOM IS SO FRUSTRATED AND BABY HUNGRY THAT MOM WILL GIVE A BOTTLE OF FORMULA THAT WAS CONVIENTLY SENT HOME WITH YOU AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU DELIVERED.

Jessica - posted on 03/16/2009

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Hi Laurie,

Firstly congratulations on continuing to breastfeed. I have two boys, the eldest is 2 years and 4 months and he is still breastfed, the second is just 6 months old and also breastfed. I am constantly being told that I shouldn't be feeding my eldest son anymore, but he also cannot drink cow's milk and I know it is good for him so I continue to feed him. You do what you feel is best and if it suits you to continue feeding then go for- you soon learn to ignore or politely take on board the criticism you receive.

My thoughts- keep on going your doing a great job. Breastmilk has so many benefits for them no matter what age they are!

Jess

Heather - posted on 03/15/2009

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My cousin's daughter is over 2 years now and she is still nursing!  Keep it up!  Breastfed babies are healthier!  Who cares what others think, you are the mother and you want what is best!  Breastmilk is BEST!

[deleted account]

oh my goodness! don't stop! i am sorry to hear all of the negatives are getting to you. always remember you are your little girls mother - no one else. she will let you know when it is time to ween...



i find it interesting that there is a thought out there (i am not implying you Laurie!) that once babies start solids, they should be weened off of breastmilk. or that once they turn 1 they should go right onto cows milk and be weened. so not the case! breastmilk will compliment your daughter's diet for as long as she needs it and as long as it is working for you. i will personally be avoiding milk until well past the 18month mark. remember breastmilk holds the perfect nutrition for your growing child and that doesn't all of a sudden change when they turn a certain age...



do what feels right to you and please don't allow those that obviously don't understand infant nutrition and development to make you feel that what you are doing is wrong, or not necessary.



you are a great mama who wants the best for her baby - enjoy it!! i know i will be so sad when my daughter starts solids, in that she won't be relying on me for all of her nutrition! i enjoy it so much and so does she!



all the best Laurie!

Amber - posted on 03/15/2009

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There are so many women out there that do breast feed their children past age one. I am not one of them. I, first time mother, began my son on solids early and still primarily breast fed. By the time he was one year old, he was weaning himself. I know lots of women who go to our local Best Fed Baby group, held at the hospital by a lactation consultant, and they are breast feeding well into the toddler years. One lady even admitted breast feeding until her child was 9 years old! It was a little funny to hear that, most reactions were mother's saying "if my child is old enough to tell his friends what i am doing, then he is too old to nurse"! But there is nothing wrong with it. As long as you know that your child is getting all they need in nutrition. :)

Cynthia - posted on 03/15/2009

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Have you thought about finding your local La Leche League? They would be great local support for your continued breast feeding. I have a milk allergy as well, along with a host of other allergies to various foods. Because I breast fed my son for one year and then introduced him to a milk free formula when I went back to work he could finally go on dairy at about 16 months with no problem.



They way I look at it, is if you have the time then there is no issue. our society today is too hurried and ready to push kids too fast to independance, so slow down and enjoy the experience. Im pushing to stay home this time after my mat leave is up. Im still pretty happy to only feed until 1 year. I feel that I have started my child out on the right foot, which is a lot better than what others are able to do.



so hang in there, do what you feel is right. If you feel frustrated about people expressing their opinions you have two basic choices: 1) smile and nod and 2) ask them what they are worried about...and argue with them. Either way its still your choice. keep up the good work...

[deleted account]

When my girls were little I felt like babies should be weaned between 12-18 months and it was weird to be nursing after that.  They were also fed on a schedule and did very well that way.  I couldn't understand why all kids couldn't be that way.  Then my son came along....  He will be 1 in 12 days and still nurses around 10 times in 24 hours (his sisters were only nursing 5 times then) and has never been on a schedule.  He just wouldn't have it.  I understand a lot more now than I did 6 years ago.



I think you are doing fine!!

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2009

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I let my son choose when he'd wean--he told me at 27 months that he was a "big boy" and that was that :) Number two is on the way so I'm curious to see when he'll make the "big boy" announcement!



I had a lot of negativity around extended nursing, especially from my in-laws. But there are so many benefits to mom and child from extended nursing that there was no way I was going to stop just because some people didn't understand why I was doing it. I figure if my son is saddled with our genetics, we better give him the best advantages we can in any way we can! And while the extended breastfeeding doesn't guarantee he won't develop asthma or allergies or diabetes, etc etc, I'd still rather play the odds that it will give him a better chance of not developing some or all of these things :)

Desiree - posted on 03/15/2009

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Keep it up Laurie. Good for you to not give in to the pressure. I am currently nursing my 17 month old and nursed my older 2 until they were 2 and I got flack from a few people. I think it is interesting that the American Pediatrics says to nurse until 2 if able. I always wonder if I am the only person who hears this. Do the negative nursers, the ones that stopped before 2 because they perceived social downlookers, think that their way is the only way? Huh? My daughter loves to nurse. It is only 2 years, it goes by so fast and she will be so much better off for that 2 years. Stand tall and proud that you are able to give that to your daughter.

Morag - posted on 03/15/2009

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My daughter is still nursing like a newborn and she is 13 months. We have no plans to stop. You're doing a great job. Its the human norm to let them nurse till they self wean. Don't let anyone put you down for that. Ignore the comments, most come from jealousy or weird sexual hang ups. All you are doing is giving your daughter the best you can. Milk for girls is so very important, for growing bones and teeth, and during puberty, vital!. Not to mention the amazing health benefits to you the longer you nurse for. You are amazing and so is your daughter and you're doing an amazing thing. :)

[deleted account]

You are making the best decision for you and your little one!  My daughter is just past 9 months and still nursing and I plan to keep it that way for quite a while.   My mother says things like "Don't worry - she has a couple of teeth now.  She should quit nursing soon!"  And I'm like....that's not really what I am going for.  People that aren't your daughter's mother don't understand and that's ok....it's not their job.  :-)

Kerrie - posted on 03/15/2009

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Keep up the good work! My baby girl is 13 months and is also allergic to dairy. I'll be nursing her for months to come. I also have a lot of people who can't understand why. Just remember you are doing what's best for her, not for them!

Michelle - posted on 03/15/2009

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I plan on nursing for as long as our son wants me to; within reason of schooling of course:) My husband's cousin wants to nurse till her daughter is at least 2 or 3. You are not alone and I camend you for wanting to stick w/ it. Good luck

Hannah - posted on 03/15/2009

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Every mama does it different. It depends on you and your kiddo, whatever works best for you two. Im going to end up weening my daughter earlier than I had planned, she is just ready for solids and all that good stuff. Any body giving you crap about how you and your daughter do things is foolish to think there is only this one way to raise up that baby. I good friend of mine nursed her son until he was 3! Ive known a lot of other women who nursed their babies until they were two. My daughter is almost 8 months and, again, shes just getting ready to be done with boob already. To each her own! Good luck!

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