Men who can't deal with Breastfeeding

Rita M. - posted on 11/20/2010 ( 75 moms have responded )

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oki how do I ask this...mmm...
I only know a small half a handfull of women who breastfeed their children past 2 years, and I noticed all are single or currently in a divorce issue.
I believe in breastfeeding for longer than the avarege even if my HusBoyfriend doesnt really like the idea of Breastfeeding past the 1st year (his reason i find extreamly stupid, it looking "wrong" to breastfeed a 2 year old >.>)
and I was wondering,
You Moms who've decided to breastfeed your child past the 2 years, what challenges have you faced with the Man in your life or even other people and how did you deal with it?
I really don't understand what these people find is wrong about that...it really frustrates me.

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Merry - posted on 11/22/2010

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My husband wants our son to breastfeed for 6 years like the samourais and the Spartans :)

Seriously I don't think he would ever think it's weird, to him the longer the breastfeeding, the stronger and healthier his son will be. He says "it's selfish men who want them to wean, so if they care about their kids health they would never ask them to wean." Ya he is blunt but that's what he just told me to type!

He also said that "as long as the mom still let's the dad have his play time during sex with the boobies there's no reason at all he should want her to wean at any specific age."

I asked him what would be too old, he says "oh whenever he's done."

So we are aiming at 4 years since that's average and we will see from there. He is also interested to see how I manage tandem breastfeeding since baby number two is due in may! He says he's "going to take a picture the first time I feed both together cuz it's gonna be super cute!"



I definately think if you properly educate your man about breastfeeding and show them all their child will benefit from it, there's only really close minded men who would argue the petty things like it looks weird.

It looks weird to change a diaper of a two year old too, but if they aren't able to hold their pee in yet there's nothing you can do right! So it's all about when the choked is grown out of the need to breastfeed.

And I think good dads will be able to comprehend the vast amount of reasons to breastfeed a normal duration, that being 3-6 years or so!

April - posted on 11/23/2010

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a newborn asks to be nursed. just because someone can't say "I want boob" doesn't mean that they're not asking for it! and my friend nursed her special needs daughter until she was 4 (self weaned)...the little girl never uttered a word due to her condition. you are entitled to your belief but i just want to put it out there that there is no difference between verbal and non verbal cues for breastfeeding. When my child wants his milk...I give it to him regardless of how old he is getting (he will be 2 next month).It also doesn't matter to me if he signs "mommy's milk" or says milk out loud. SAME THING! Self weaning is a real thing, not imaginary!!

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2010

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Before we ever got pregnant I told my husband I WOULD be breastfeeding! He was fine, we got pregnant and I went more in detail, that I would breastfeed until AT LEAST a year...but was not opposed to 2 (I have since decided that 2 is a minimum if possible!) He was uncomfortable with that, not impressed at all. I armed him with loads of research on how beneficial breastfeeding is and why it was important to ME and should be to HIM that we breastfeed our daughter for her health. He was still not totally comfortable, but coming around. Our daughter is now 21 months old, she has self weaned with a bit of help through limitations from me due to a twin pregnancy. My husband admitted he was a little sad we didn't get to the two yaer mark! He even told his mother, when she brought up it "being about time" that Jaelyn stopped nursing that we were both hoping she picks right up where she left off after the babies are born! He has also told me he hopes I can nurse a LOT longer with the twins, and should be able to since I'm getting my tubes tied. HE has been looking up information on nursing twins and a toddler, he brought home the nursing boppy pillow for twins, HE is hoping it works out for us! It has been amazing to witness! He is 100% supportive just from seeing it first hand and being open minded.
As for other people not being supportive, it's been long enough now that I straight up tell them it is NOT up for discussion and they have no say in the matter. Usually makes it pretty clear I will not put up with negative comments about our parenting decisions! I do understand why people think this way, breastfeeding is entirely misunderstood and taboo in the US, people need to be better informed, but our medical society is not making that a priority. :(

Rachael - posted on 11/23/2010

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I couldn't breastfeed very long (my son stopped at almost 9 months, long before I was even ready, lol), but I don't understand those men, either. My husband was always very supportive, and was sad that I had to stop, too, because he has researched the facts about breastfeeding longterm, and only wants what is best for HIS son. I suggest, if you want a man to understand, put the research in his hands and make him listen; if he's against it, then he's against what is best for you and your child (I don't mean physical health so much as emotional health). Then again, my husband was breastfed, so maybe he's biased in that manner!

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My husband wasn't sure at first. I showed him tons of research and he saw first hand how important it was to our daughter. She's currently 19 months and he's very supportive. Plus as long as she's nursing he doesn't have to help with putting her to bed :P.

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LaLasha - posted on 12/16/2010

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My daughters self weaned but I would have breastfed past a year a and half if they had wanted to continue.People are going to have there opinions and there is nothing you can do about their ignorance all you can do is educate yourself and refute their stupidity with facts and confidence.

Lisa - posted on 12/15/2010

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i think its a jealousy issue. we get out intimacy through bf and maybe they feel neglected. my daughter turned 2 nov21 and we still bf.

Kristi - posted on 12/06/2010

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Hi Rita,
I think there are all kinds of reasons that guys can be uncomfortable around nursing babies and toddlers. Mostly they probably haven't been around them, so they don't feel like they know what to do when someone nurses their kid. I am married for 10 years and have 2 girls. The oldest nursed until she was 4 1/2 and the youngest is still nursing at 2 1/2 (years). I never in a million years would have guessed that I would be nursing this long, but it just happened that way. I think I didn't stop because I realized how good it was for our kids and our family. My girls and I will both enjoy better health. It has been a wonderful parenting tool in that my toddler is easy to settle down from meltdown status with a little nursing. I had to deal with a lot of flack from my mom with my first daughter and so now she is kind of used to it. My husband never really had a problem with it. What I think is the biggest help is to just help them get used to it. I'm discreet enough, but I sure don't leave a room. I keep myself involved in what is going on in the room in terms of conversation, a game, dinner, or whatever else, so people don't feel like they have to avoid me or look the other way. Little by little they got into a comfort zone with us. They more they were exposed to it, the more easy they were with it. The fewer comments rolled around. Even my dad is pretty easy with it now, and he used to always leave the room. My grandpa barely notices - thinks she's sleeping or something. I think that the more you do it the better you get at it too. When you are really confident about nursing, people share your confidence and comfort. You just kind of exude an aura of "I'm okay with it, so you can be too." If your guy really cares about you and your child, he will support you in your choice. Give him opportunities to learn about why it's so great! I guarantee you that being able to stop that supermarket tantrum in a hurry is a biggie! Good luck! :)

Chantelle - posted on 12/02/2010

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i haven't managed it past 18 months, but with my first i was at uni and it was too far to travel during the day in between classes to feed,and so she weaned herself onto a bottle and then she had a normal cup from 18 months and my now 1 year old is weaning herself, already down to 3 feeds a day.

However i have close friends that have breastfed until 3years and one particular friend who fed until almost 5 (once every few months). But i would not have had any problems with my man on the matter because he too was breastfed until around 2 and my mother in law is very pro breastfeeding and is a firm believer in a woman's right to feed her child when and where she wants.

the person i had the trouble with was my own mother she never breastfed any of her 3 kids, we were all solely bottle fed and when i visited her with my first i was shunted into another room or if she was visiting me she would leave when it was time to feed.

i don't understand what people think is wrong with it, "showing your breasts in public" blah blah blah, i'm sorry it's not sexual in any sense, it is a functional piece of equipment, it's a bottle that doesn't need a bag or a microwave or boiled water or sterilizing...

Kelley - posted on 12/02/2010

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I breastfed for 2 years and my husband was very happy and comfortable with it. Especially with the health benefits for both the baby and myself and the huge cost savings!

Andrea - posted on 12/02/2010

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I breastfed for only 13 months, but my husband also thought it was weird (my son wuld come over too me and latchon when ever he wanted to lol) I never thought twice about it. But I was ready when I quit bf-ing

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If you have a La Leche League group in your area they are a wonderful support group and can offer so much advice and information all about breastfeeding. And most LLL leaders tend to breastfeed their children past 2 years. The website below has lots of information and a way to find a group in your area. :-)

http://www.llli.org/

Jeany - posted on 12/02/2010

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Phelicia, I am convinced that toilet training should precede weaning from the breast for most children!

Kathy - posted on 12/01/2010

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My husband has been supportive of BF for the health and economic reasons and I nursed my eldest son until he weaned himself at 17 months. His thoughts are that although he has to share my breasts, he's going to enjoy them while they're spectacular. (his words!) Plus he sees more boob when I'm nursing than he ever did before. Our second son is 2 months and BFing is going strong!

My thoughts are that if Mommy and toddler are happy BFing then why not! It's not hurting you or your child, in fact, there are many benefits!

Phelicia - posted on 12/01/2010

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I am currently nursing a 2 year old. My hubby is very supportive and undrstands the benefits to his child and to me. (lowers rates of breast cancer signifigantly. Now my 2 year old is ahead of the game taking in full sentances so it really does seem silly, but it is for her health. I hang out lots of places where it is acceptable and expected with LLL leaders and homeschool moms ect.

At church I do occasionally get comments but my daughter's health is a greater priority to me. Mainly we nurse 2 to 3 times daily and generally at home so it isn't much of an issue. My suggestion is that if hubby is embarassed minimize the time you nurse publically. Bring a cover with you, so if you need to you can without much fuss. If it makes you feel better it looks like mine wll potty train before she is ready to wean!!!

Chaya - posted on 12/01/2010

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I'm lucky my husband is fully on board with me still BF our 2.5 year old. There is a great deal of info out there on the nutritional and psychological benefits of extended BF. Maybe if you share some of that with him it would help. Plus after a certain point, we didn't do it in public, only at home, my daughter only nurses at night now, so how it looks isn't really a problem, for us anyway. Good luck, hope this helped.

Sarah - posted on 11/30/2010

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I can see how breastfeed to sleep would be nice but I loved that sleepy smile and wave after I have put her in her bed! The other thing to note is that from about 4 weeks she was wide awake and having playtime after a bf during the day so it was irrelevant anyway! She then got tired before hungry again so there was no point trying to bf her to sleep as she didn't want it lol.

Mindy - posted on 11/30/2010

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I haven't reached the 2yr mark yet but I'm getting really close. My son just turned 19 months and were still going strong. Of course at this age he also eats table food, so it's not all day long nursing but it is on demand. My husband was 100% supportive in the beginning but now that he's past 1 and going on 2 he really wants me to stop and others around me want me to stop and the looks and comments I get aren't exactly the most supportive. I just ignore everyone and do what I know is best for me and my baby. Yes, some times it makes me sad that it's not excepted but I'm not going to stop doing what's right for my baby to make everyone else happy. As for my husband, well I just explain that his immune system isn't fully developed yet and that nursing is the best thing for him. And although it bothers him, he see's the benefits and doesn't fuss too much about it when he see's how often other children around us are sick. Our baby is almost never sick and when he is, it only lasts about a day. So hang in there do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Merry - posted on 11/30/2010

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Thanks Angela! That's a beautiful image for me to think of. I am feeling more confident all the time about bed time with two dependence and I think it will be a wonderful time for us.
I only feel bad cuz we bought a toddler bed for Eric and now I'm thing I'd rather just have him on a twin sized mattres on the floor!
It's a cute fire truck bed but I think I will need the space to lay down with both and then sneak out with the baby. But maybe my bed would work too, Eric sometimes is hard to move, but other times he is a limp noodle!

Angela - posted on 11/30/2010

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Laura, I am currently nursing a 21 month old and a 3 month old. We have two ways that we have found works well for us for putting them to bed: 1) If my husband is available I will nurse the toddler first while he plays with baby then let him lay down with her in our bed till she falls asleep. or 2) I'll take them both into my bed on either side of me and put pillows under each of them. By leaning forward a bit I can feed them both and get them to sleep at the same time. I can always move them once they are sound asleep. It is the most beautiful thing to watch them hold hands and play with each others' hair while they eat! I never planned on tandem nursing but would never change it! Good luck!

Merry - posted on 11/30/2010

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I have started humming amazing grace at every bed time and nap time because I am hoping that one day he will fall asleep with me just rocking and humming without bf. So far he has fallen asleep for quite a few naps with out bf. So I think he is progressing nicely.
I'm not going to make him fall asleep without bf but I think that when baby 2 is born it will be helpful I have introduced the song and rocking as well.
Bf him to sleep has been one of the most wonderful and amazing times for me as a mom, and I'd never change it for the world. It's just something I'd recommend to every mom as it's the most special time for you both.

Jeany - posted on 11/30/2010

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I continued to breastfeed my babies to sleep until they were about three years old. I never expected them to go to sleep regularly without a breastfeed until I had seen that they were capable of doing so on multiple occasions. With my first, I started to sing to her as I breastfed her at bedtime, from before age 2 years. Then I gave her the choice at about age three (when I knew I was pregnant with number two) of story book or breastfeed at sleep time - but never both. Some nights she would choose the breastfeed, but most nights she chose the book, after which I would sing to her to help her go to sleep. Later I bought a CD player for her room, so she could go to sleep with music without me having to stand there singing to her.

Sarah - posted on 11/30/2010

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@ Laura. From about 4 weeks I stopped bfing to sleeps. So it was just watch for tired signs, wrap her and put her in bed and sometimes a rock or pat but pretty soon she would settle herself. If she started to fall asleep on the breast I used to gently take her off and put her in bed drowsy but awake. Over the last year there have been a few times i have nursed her to sleep when she is really over tired but not normally. I just follow the same routine so shes knows its coming! Until she was 11 months I still nursed before bed as a wind down time so she was sleepy but at 11 months i started doing it before bath and then having cuddles and stories after bath. Sorry I can't be more help.

Andrea - posted on 11/29/2010

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My husband has always been very supportive. We learned the facts together while I was pregnant with my now 18 month old. The recalls on formula for poisoning also reinforced our desire to bf. Since I got pregnant with our son till now there has been 12 recalls for poisoning in formula that I know of. That should give him a scare. After reading the benefits for mother and baby on bf for more than a year any sane person should see how awesome and benficial bfing is. Also if your husband believes in God or reads The Holy Bible it gives an indication of 3-5 years is when you quit nursing. The bible talks about the child being accountable for sins and going off to train to diciple the word. I personally believe our God knew what he was doing when he made us and gave us a way to nurish and protect our babies.
Also remind him that everytime there is an improvement in formula it came from studying breastmilk. With that they have learned that as your child ages your milk changes. the biggest change is from colostrum to milk, but your breast milk is changing for your growing child's needs. I think one of the most convincing pieces of evedince out there is that formula keeps synapes in the brain from connecting where as breastmilk helps them to form connect and multiply.

In the end follow your instincts. that's my best advice. If your baby or toddler is demanding to nurse and your gut tells you that you should....then you should nurse. Also with cold season in action i would not advise stopping now. I got sick four times last winter and my son never got sick because he got his protection from my milk. Also with teething I'm lucky to get my son to eat anything somedays but he will nurse longer. I got really worried but the dr. said they aren't worried because he is being bf but if i quit and he goes to cow's milk and he has eating fits while teething that he will need supplements. We have some powerful milk we should be proud mothers not put down!!

Melissa - posted on 11/29/2010

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I have two sons. My oldest is now 5 and I breastfed him until he was two. My other son is now 22 months and I am still breastfeeding him as well. My husband is extremely supportive and thinks it is great for everyone. He understands that the longer a woman breastfeeds the better it is for the health of the mother and the baby. It is my opinion that any father who does not understand and support is both immature and selfish. Honestly, if your husband/boyfriend leaves you over breastfeeding than he is worthless and not worth having around.

Merry - posted on 11/29/2010

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That's how I am, I only use milk for cereal, or shakes, etc. I think it tastes awful on it's own. Both mine and cows and soy. Although almond milk is good! Even if I hate almonds.

Minnie - posted on 11/29/2010

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At least my husband is consistent. He refuses to drink any milk. Which I agree with :). Milk for babies of any species!

But your husband is totally open-minded, Laura, and I like that.

Merry - posted on 11/29/2010

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Lol, my husband would love to drink my milk! Well I wouldn't mind pumping if it wasn't such a pain, bUt he'd like it from the tap! He thinks it's absolutely beautiful how I make milk and make babies.

He thinks I'm so sexy now while I'm pregnant and bfing. I love it! But it's weird for me to think about him being sexually interested in my breasts, but I don't restrict him from them during sex. I think he deserves to enjoy my body then.

Lydia - posted on 11/29/2010

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I think that all man want the boobies all for themselves. I know that most BF supportive husbands at some point get a little impatient... Well I don't know if it's really only the issue of sharing the breasts, maybe they would like more sex or something and are jealous of the daily boobie time the baby gets... (and they are not getting daily sex, haha, makes sense?) I sometimes offer my husband the other boobie while feeding our daughter... just for fun, he finds it so terrible, which I find funny. I'll always tease him about his love for cow's milk and how weird he finds it to drink breastmilk (not for a baby, but for older human beings...)

Kristin - posted on 11/28/2010

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I'm sorry to hear of the troubles with your man on this! My DD is 30 months and we still nurse, altho I have limited it to going to sleep and waking up, so 4 times a day, plus other 'special circumstances.' :) My man is funny...I give him the info/research, and he is all supportive...but there is something in him that still makes him say "why don't you wean her already?!" So, it's kinda frustrating. But, he sees that I'm not giving up so he kinda has give up on that sort of commenting. I continue to give him info, so he can go along with it. The only problem is we can't seem to get pregnant again...and anyone I talk to says it's probably due to the nursing...ugh! Not sure what to do, but I'm not ready to wean her yet, and obviously SHE is not ready either! I LOVE this relationship with her! Perhaps it helps that we had to work very hard at it when she was first born...she had an abnormality in her jaw she needed therapy for, so I pumped exclusively for her for about 10 weeks, which involved some heartbreaking times for sure, not to mention infections like crazy!

Anyway...one of the coolest bf factoids I just learned was that nursing a toddler puts their brain waves into a similar state to that of meditating monks! Nursing is the ONLY way that their brains will ever do this as toddlers! And, it's such an awesome tool for her when she really loses it in a tantrum.

Good luck!

Vicki - posted on 11/28/2010

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My experience has been a journey... of discovery and progress... discovering what I really feel comfortable doing (breastfeeding for longer) and progressing towards that end. I have breastfed until 11 and a half months, 9 months, 2 years and now 2 years & 2 months and still going strong whilst pregnant. I am hoping to tandem feed this time. :) I love to breastfeed my littlies. It's so natural and so good for them and me. My regrets are that I didn't take care of my own health and energy better in the early days and that I hadn't sourced information or support on how to re-start after obstacles or tandem feed earlier. I have learned so much from reading posts and responses within this community and from my local breastfeeding support group. I had a lot to learn and am still learning. Communicating these exciting discoveries with my husband is another thing. It's all new to him. And I think the instinct to nurse is inherent in me. He says it's something he doesn't understand. I am grateful that he is open to discussion and learning on the subject. It would otherwise be incredibly difficult to nurture my little ones. Currently on our agenda is discussing tandem feeding. It's the next discovery!

Nicole - posted on 11/28/2010

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I think it has a lot to do with our society. The perception that the breast is a sexual thing often gets in the way of how people view breastfeeding. I think the older the child is the harder it is for them to not see it as a sexual image. I breastfed my first child until she was 2 years 9 months, including through my pregnancy with my second child and then 11 months tandem nursing. My second is currently 20 months old and still going strong, but is nearly the same size as my 3.5 year old. My husband has always been very supportive of breastfeeding. Especially after he saw how much healthier our kids stayed than many other kids we know.

Rebecca - posted on 11/28/2010

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Well, I didn't necessarily "Want" or "plan" to do this but I am. With my first child, he took easi;y to milk, and was weaneed just before he turned 2. MY second turned two in July and we are still weaning him. My husband is okay with it, and we basically hide it from everyone else in the family. I don't lie about it but I don't talk about it with others because they are too judgemental

Sylvia - posted on 11/28/2010

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Fortunately for him, my DH was one of the few people who never had a negative word to say about my nursing DD. His family used to make comments, random people would make comments, even my mom, when we got past the age when my brother and I were weaned (around age 2), started to hint that maybe it was time, but since DH was living with it every day (and is not an idiot :P), he could see that there was nothing to freak out about. I was also fortunate that my older sister had nursed both her bio kids past their fourth birthdays, so there was family precedent ;^)

As for how I dealt with people who thought they needed to comment ... well, at first I used to let it get to me a bit, and would try to marshal good rational arguments against them. Eventually I realized I was never going to convince them because their objections weren't based on reason or logic or information, and I was expending a lot of emotional effort to no good purpose. So instead I would just say something like "Thanks for your input" and ignore them ;^) Also, at a certain point, once DD was no longer nursing except at bedtime and in the morning, so the question didn't really come up in public or at family gatherings, I let them think she'd weaned if they wanted to -- I didn't ever lie about it, of course, but I didn't bring it up if nobody else did. We also co-slept full-time until DD was four, but most of my in-laws didn't know that -- again, not because we lied but because we just didn't bring it up, and they just kind of assumed we must have "come to our senses" at some point and bought a crib, like normal people :P

One thing that's really important: if you are talking to someone you know is hostile, NEVER complain. Find a safe place to complain when you need to, whether it's a like-minded friend or a board like this or LLL or whatever, and save all the negative aspects of your nursing relationship for that safe place -- and when you're around the naysayers, be cheerful and positive all the time. That deprives them of a place to hook in their little claws of negativity, of the opportunity to say "See? I told you ...", and the chance to tell you how much better your life would be if you did things their way.

Sally - posted on 11/28/2010

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My man was twitchy about nursing at all until he found out how healthy it was for the baby and for me. Then he was all in favor of it for as long as the kid was willing. Our first child fully weaned just before her 4th birthday and our second is going strong at 13 months. I've had a few friends with these problems and it can be heart breaking. It is my opinion that if his opinion that something 'looks wrong' to him is more important to him than the health and well-being of his woman and child; he is NOT mature enough to be a father. Of course it can be very hard to anything about that when the baby is already here. :)
Try giving him all the scientific research about how healthy this is for the baby and for you. Make sure you get the studies showing how the benefits don't magically go away when the child reaches a certain age. Ask him why he loves his woman and child so little that he would take those health benefits away from them.
If that doesn't work, remind him that your boobs are attached to your body and YOU are the ONLY person who decided when and why they are used. And yes that does mean that if he doesn't behave he never gets to touch them again. It's harsh, but if you don't lay down the law from minute one they never give up.
If he doesn't want to see you nurse, he can leave the room. You have to just grow a really thick skin and completely ignore him until he grows up. Unfortunately, some men never do. If you have one of those; the options are give in, fight about it, or get rid of him. None of those are happy thoughts and only you can decide which will hurt you the least.
Good luck

Talia - posted on 11/28/2010

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just tell them to do their research before they talk bad about it... all the scientific research points to good stuff for longer feeding! like 4 extra IQ per year... would *they* have refused a few extra IQ points if they could have them? haha!

Kunang - posted on 11/28/2010

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Oh yeah, and my mother in law made it quite obvious she thought I should only feed till shes 6 months. Pffft!

Kunang - posted on 11/28/2010

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My baby at the moment is 3 months and I plan on breastfeeding her for as long as possible. I told my husband my plans and asked him what his thoughts are if I am still feeding when shes 2. He didn't really know what to say, which makes me feel like hes not comfortable with the idea... Oh well, hes got another 1 year and 9 months to get used to it, I'm not sacrificing my daughters health because of his opinion. Some men need to get past the whole "boobs are a sex object" mentality, in reality they're glorious udders! Do what feels right to you, don't let your man dictate the relationship you want with your child. Goodluck!

Cat - posted on 11/28/2010

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At first, my hubs was pretty concerned about my nursing - I think he was afraid that my breasts would cease to be his sexual funbags :p However, since having Kiddo (now 18 months and still nursing), he's been amazingly supportive. I've told him since I was pregnant that I plan on nursing until Kiddo is ready to stop (barring health issues or another pregnancy, since I had Kiddo so early). At first, he would try to set limits, but now that he sees that nursing a toddler is nothing like nursing a newborn, he's much more relaxed about it.
But ultimately, this is YOUR choice - he's not the one nursing, he's not the one having to keep taking prenatals, he's not the one who's got to deal with a plugged duct or mastitis or whatnot, so really, he doesn't get much of an opinion about the decision to wean ;-)

Elisa - posted on 11/28/2010

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My 25 month old daughter is still nursing to her hearts content. My husband is really supportive. His only issue is she thinks my breasts belong to her. I've had a few people here and there ask why she's still nursing. I usually say something like "Breast milk doesn't loose it's nutritional value when babies hit 12 months and I love breastfeeding, and she loves nursing. Not to mention the amazing closeness I have with her." I have four kids. She's the only one to nurse past two. I LOVE it! Tell your man how important this is to you. And that it would be extraordinary if he could put aside his feelings to support yours.

Stephanie - posted on 11/27/2010

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I am proud of you for wanting to find a way to continue! It is hard when your supporting other is not supporting you. I would definately recommend you try to find a local La Leche League meeting for encouragment. There are many different moms and a Leader with helpful ideas to help make things a little easiter. www.llli.org You might want to make a list of things for him to be thankful for with you nursing your little one. Like you putting to bed, less crying time, far superior nurtition, less chance of severe allergies, diabetes, obesity etc...
You sound a little down and I just want to encourage you that the more you can encourage him the more he should come aroudnd. I am currently nursing my 3rd (3 next month) and have found her MUCH healthier than even my other two which I nursed for a year with the first(preg with the second-much to painful) 20 months with the second. Just do what you can and hang in there, but since you are seeking advice I would suggest LLL for you.

Anne - posted on 11/27/2010

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We all have different perspectives, but I know many people in healthy relationships who have nursed their kids past a year and almost up to 2. I nursed my daughter until 23 months and my son is now 10 months and will nurse as long as he needs to...and my husband is 100% supportive. My daughter weaned when she was ready, and so will my son. I have several good friends who have nursed until more or less the 20 +/- month age with their kids, and they are also in healthy and happy relationships with their husbands who support them and don't think it is weird at all. That said, several of my friends have mentioned they think it is odd to see a baby that can walk (or talk or whatever) nursing, and as pro-nursing as I am I am not comfortable nursing an older baby around them. My father in law is also weird about breastfeeding at any age, and I just don't talk about it with him, or nurse around him. I suppose I am lucky to have the people I am closest to be supportive, but there are always naysayers and I just choose not to really deal with the issue around them - it isn't their business. If you sexualize nursing, I guess you could make it weird. If you realize it is a source of nutrition, antibodies and comfort - recommended by WHO, AAP and other leading health organizations as something optimal for your baby (AND YOU - many health benefits for mom) up to 2 years+ - then you are prioritizing your babies health and well being above the ignorance of others. I am not saying that is an easy thing to do, particularly if it is your husband, mother, etc who thinks it is weird, but I can guarantee it won't be the last time you have to weigh your child's best interests vs popular opinion. It is a tough thing to do as a mom, as a parent - but it comes with the territory.

Nikkita - posted on 11/27/2010

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My daughter is nine months, and my boyfriend doesn't like me breastfeeding my daughter. His daughter's mom didn't breastfeed at all, neither did his mom. His mom actually kind of makes me feel bad about doing it, although I won't stop. She tells me that she can't believe that I breastfeed "with all thoseteeth in her mouth," and he ask why I still nurse her "big self" and even says that's she I as big as she is now b/c of breastmilk...sometimes he even "jokes" about it looking like I am breastfeeding a 3 year old. I hate the stupid comments people make, especially my boyfriend, about me still nursing my nine month old. I just brush it off, and remind myself that I am doing what is best for my daughter. You have to do the same. :-)

Arianna - posted on 11/27/2010

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It's actually been women who have done that with me rather than men. Even my sister. Usually it has proved futile and energy demanding to try to teach/explain where I'm coming from. A hold my own integrity approach around it carried me through three years of nursing my first child and will carry me through at least two + this time as well. I just won't back down. They really are still a baby at two, they love the contact and once they quit nursing, that particular link is forever changed. Maybe disarming them this time...... "hmmm, "I wonder what it is that's behind your discomfort" and walk away.

Merry - posted on 11/27/2010

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Sarah, it was me! But when I say breastfeed to sleep I mean he is actually breastfeeding while he falls asleep, then I put him in his bed.

How did you get your daughter to fall asleep without breastfeeding her into it?

Elsabie - posted on 11/27/2010

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My daughter will be 3 in Feb and I'm still bf'ing her. Noone has said anything bad to me. I just get admiration from my friends and my husband completely supports my decision. She'll stop when she's ready. I'm not going anywhere and there's no rush. Just don't tell people if you don't feel comfortable with it. Most people just assume that you don't. When people ask I don't deny it and I've never had a negative comment. If I should get it I have answers ready anyway! :o)

Sarah - posted on 11/27/2010

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I can't remember who wrote about nursing the toddler and new baby to sleep but wanted to point out that putting the bigger one into a bed and still nursing is not a problem. I nurse my 1yr old befor bath and then she has story and bed so if I had another baby (and DD is still nursing) I would feed DD then bath them both and then feed baby. Also I never did cry it out she got their on her own :)

Diane - posted on 11/27/2010

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I'm really lucky tnat my husband is very supportive of breastfeeding, including extended breastfeeding but he's also very educated on the subject and that could be the difference.

Kelly - posted on 11/27/2010

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Any "man" who has an issue with feeding a child is not a MAN. He has issues or insecurities or is sexist...I don't know what, but he needs to see a counsellor.

Anyone who has problems with it needs to be educated about the nutritional and health benefits for both mom and baby. I have had to slowly help my mother understand (it's a very frustrating experience) because she didn't breastfeed. She has been the only annoying person in my life. My hubby has no problems.

If I were feeding my child only nachos and Pepsi, I could understand it becoming someone else's business, but otherwise, if the baby is healthy and growing well, it really is no one's business how I'm feeding my baby.

Merry - posted on 11/27/2010

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Yeah, that sounds promising! I'm so excited to experience it all but I don't want to be unprepared cuz I know I get frustrated easily. :) jeany, that is an awesome picture of nighttime. It's so cool to know moms who tandem bf.

Minnie - posted on 11/27/2010

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I bet that would work, Laura- nurse Eric to sleep in a toddler bed and bring the little one along. If he needs to nurse you could pop him on the other boob and then slip away with the baby once Eric is asleep.

I imagine that it will be a period of adjusting for all of you. Eric will get used to having a slightly different bed time routine with the addition of your new baby.

Jeany - posted on 11/26/2010

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When I was pregnant with my second child, and still breastfeeding my first, who was by then three years old, my husband tried to tell our daughter that she would have to stop having mummy milk when the baby was born. She explained to him that there were two boobs, so the baby could have one and she could have the other.
When my third was born I was still breastfeeding the second, and I really enjoyed bedtimes, when DD1 (aged 7) would be in her top bunk, telling me about her day at school, while I sat on the edge of the lower bunk tandem feeding DD2 (aged 4) and the baby.

Ramona - posted on 11/26/2010

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I guess men cannot stand "their" boobs being "taken" by their offspring. How insecure!

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