Mom being used as a pacifier

Cynthia - posted on 07/31/2010 ( 94 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 week old that is refusing to take a pacifier! She took one the first week as long as she wasn't hungry and just wanted to suck. Now I have tried 2 different kinds and she refuses to take anything and just wants to use me as a pacifier all the time! I feel like I am nursing her constantly and getting no sleep! She latches on, then just falls asleep but when I take her off she screams! (the only other thing she will suck on is my husband's finger- and since he wont let me cut it off and keep it while he goes to work, i'm kinda stuck! LOL) I did pump and give it to her in a bottle, which she took fine so what I'm wondering is, is there a chance that if I keep trying she will eventually find a pacifier she will like, or do some babies never take one? If I cant get her to take one what do I do to pacify her so I can get something done and get some sleep? Pacifiers aren't exactly cheap, so I hate to keep buying them if there's no hope! Heeeeellllllpppppp!!!!!!

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Aleks - posted on 08/02/2010

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If you want to continue to breastfeed don't introduce a pacifier, not this early. Besides, how can you tell she isn't hungry???????? At that age they are frequently hungry and wanting to feed.
It takes 6-8 weeks to establish breastfeeding and milk supply. Pacifier will confuse your baby, taking away from your baby nutrition and the opportunity to work on establishing and cementing your milk supply. Not to mention that if your baby is feeding all the time it is for a reason, and not just to suck, not this early on anyway.
Most common times for feedings this early on is at night time. Without the constant suckling your breasts may not produce enough milk and you may loose your supply. Not to mention your baby is sucking because they need to eat and or drink. It is frequent because a baby's stomach is only as big as their fist!!! Breastmilk is so easy to digest that babies do need very frequent feeds. I also feel like she screams because she isn't done yet and feels that she won't get what she wants next time she asks for it ( your breast) as you have been offering 'other' things instead.

My baby in the first 6-8 weeks used to cluster feed from around 5 or 6 pm till 10pm. On the boob, most of that time, 20-30 on and 5 off, for the whole 5 or so hours!!!Things should settle down after 6-8 weeks.

Also, who gave you the expectation that you will be getting sleep with a baby????
Nap during the day when the baby is napping....
Just hang in there, it will all soon change and then change some more and so on it will continue. Babies grow and change so quickly and you will be on to another phase before you know it...
Just hang in there...

April - posted on 08/14/2010

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Mama, your little one isn't using you as a pacifier. A pacifier is a "mom-replacement-device." Now I know it may be a struggle right now, you want to get things done, and you want your little one to rest independently - but just hang in there and let her get her comfort from you. You don't want her taking a paci until at least 6 weeks of age - otherwise you may end up with a bad case of nipple confusion. There are some that will say nipple confusion doesn't exist - but I'm here as proof. My daughter went on a nursing strike at three months of age and refused to nurse until she was almost seven months old. It was horrible. I felt rejected and worthless. Also - all the sucking is building up your supply. If you resort to a paci at this age you'll find yourself without enough milk to feed her when she's going through growth spurts. Just stick it out another few weeks and then try re-introducing the paci. And if you're *really* lucky, your daughter will continue to refuse to take it, meaning that you won't be forced to take it away from her in a year.

Gabriela - posted on 08/02/2010

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You won't get any sleep for a few months regardless of being or not used as a pacifier. Some babies just don't like pacifiers, which is good, because getting rid of them later on can be a hassle. Try to find a position where you can sleep while your baby feeds: that's what many moms do.

Rebecca - posted on 08/10/2010

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She is only 3 weeks old. She is doing exactly as she should! Baby should not have a pacifier or bottle until 8 weeks old to ensure you establish a good milk supply for her. Exclusive breastfeeding will also keep your period away for 6 months! Nursing is a comfort not just nutrition. Time spent doing laundry instead of with your baby is not time you will ever get back. Enjoy her now, nursing will be less intense in just a few months. If you feel like a human pacifier you are doing it right! Please don't give up. It sounds like your sweet baby girl knows what is best for her.

Christina - posted on 08/03/2010

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My daughter did the same thing. It was so frustrating. I wish I would have tried using a wrap to nurse (or pacify) her hands-free! Here's a video I found that shows how to do it:



I'm totally going to try this with my next child!

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Celine - posted on 08/17/2010

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How i wish that my son also don't use pacifier.. my mum ask me to offer him as she afraid that i might oveer feed him. So mummies can i keep offering my boob to him everytime he feel like sucking? Will i over feed him?

Emma - posted on 08/16/2010

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My daughter never took to a pacifier and also would not take a bottle untill she was 6 months old. She also preferred to use me as a pacifier but stopped when I stopped giving into her. Many people have told me that it was good that she didn't like pacifiers or bottles as they can affect later feeding a nd teeth development and she took to a Doida cup very quickly at 4 months

Stephanie - posted on 08/13/2010

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Being a breastfeeding consultant one of my first thoughts would be is she positioned correctly? I run into this often and I would definately suggest getting her latch evaluated before making hasty decisions about passys and such. Babies with poor positioning and latch don't get the adequate amount at a feeding hince they nurse more often. A good source is www.LLLI.org you can go from country - state - city where you can find a local La Leche League Leader. This will give you much encouragement and help you find answers. I know how tiring having a newborn is and they are right, it doesn't really matter that you have a passy or not they still need a lot of attention and energy from you. This will pass soon and then you can both get some rest. You are doing a great job in seeking advice and I hope things go smoothly for you.

Sarah - posted on 08/13/2010

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Stephanie. that's sounds exactly like my 9 month old! i've been trying to figure out what to do. Thanks for your post. I'll give the blanket thing a try tonight. My husband does it, and I don't know why I haven't tried

Darby - posted on 08/13/2010

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Hi, I am a mom of 4. None of mine took pacifiers for any real length of time. My son took one occasionally for six months but then gave it up on his own...the girls didn't care for it at all. Mine are 11-1/2 years, almost 4 years, almost 2 years, and 4 months. I tried to get each one to take a paci but it never really took. My first child was breastfed for the first 2 months and she was a frequent eater and she had HARD suction and actually ripped open one of my nipples so I stopped breastfeeding her. Should have consulted a lactation specialist but I was young and refused to ask for help. I nursed my next two children for a full year and am currently nursing my fourth. They all used me as a pacifier for their first 2 to 4 months of life. The smaller ones nursed more frequently than the larger ones did. But, by the fourth month they were all nursing every 3 to 4 hours during the day and only once at night. I don't know if you are swaddling your baby, but I know that always helped mine stay asleep longer and naturally delayed nursing sessions. Good luck. I know it's hard and you are tired but it is so worth it and in a couple of months it should definitely space out enough for you to get some good sleep!

Danielle - posted on 08/12/2010

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try using a sling or wrap, to carry her in, i have wraped 3 out of my 4 kids because they all did the same thin. my kids would use me as a pacifier since they wouldn't take one, and they always wanted held so i would wear them in a wrap. I loved it, i was able to get my cleaning and other things done and the baby was able to get the comfort they needed.

good luck,
Danielle

Megan - posted on 08/12/2010

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It happens my oldest son was the same way. Try the Binky type of pacifier I can't remember which brand makes it, but it looks like a real nipple only clear it might be your best bet.

Patricia - posted on 08/11/2010

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She is just a very smart little girl. She wants her mama. Also, it is so natural she might be trying to increase your supply or something. Have you tried lying down with her and sleeping (or resting) while she is latched on? That worked for my first (who never accepted any nipples other than mine) and it was how we got any sleep. Don't worry that you'll never get her out of your bed. That will happen.

I know it seems like forever right now, but this stage will pass and you will look back at it wistfully.

Jennifer - posted on 08/10/2010

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My family doc told me that at that age though it feels like you are eing used as a pacifier, really they are working at increasing your supply either for a current or upcoming growth spurt. I would also encourage both the binky and yourself as a pacifier. My younger son didn't want his pacifier till he was older but it helped me all the way along.

Tyasia - posted on 08/10/2010

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my son took a paci for 3 days while in the hospital, the day we left, we literally just got in the car and he refused, i know how you feel about being used as a paci. idk what to tell you though, id say get over it. breastfeeding isnt just about nourishing, its about comfort. id much rather my son be comforted by me than ayucky old paci. my son is now 15 month old and is still bfing for nourishment and comfort. i dont think you should force your baby to a paci. be happy your daughter likes you for comfort, i know babies on the paci who straight up barley ever touch their parents but they will sit in a corner all day sucking that paci. i say once more, stop trying, she doesnt like the paci she knows the difference. leave her be and stop wasting your money dear.

Jennifer - posted on 08/10/2010

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Both of mine are 'suckers' too. Something tells them that they just need to suck a little longer or more then eating and being done. My first would not take a pacifier when he was tiny, but he loved my pinky. So the little finger worked for him. Then at 5 months my mom tried a paci and he hasn't let go of it since! My second was the same way, but she has always been a thumb sucker too. She wouldn't take a paci, but my pinky finger would work if she didn't get her little thumb in there. I think at some level it becomes a comfort thing. Mine use theres when they are sleepy, overwhelmed, upset, and all the other emotions that are out of their comfortable, relaxed zone. Hang in there, your little one is only 3 weeks, enjoy this time with her and rest when you can, all the other stuff can wait!

Sheila - posted on 08/09/2010

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My sons didn't like pacifiers. I found it easiest if I could nurse them lying down with them - I put a twin mattress on the floor and then I could ease myself away. During the night I kept thier bed next to mine so I barely need to get up at all - just roll over onto his bed. If I fall asleep there - more sleep for me! If I make it back to my bed - even better but no big loss either way. Also, If I am sleeping that close, he doesn''t fully wake up in the night, so the time it takes to get him back to sleep is minimal.

April - posted on 08/09/2010

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some babies never take one.

if you are planning on BF and don't intend to to use formula at all.....then i wouldn't even offer her a paci.

by sucking on you even if she's not drinking, she is helping your milk supply.

Diane - posted on 08/09/2010

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Some babies never take a pacifier and that's fine. Remember, pacifiers are artificial nipples, they are made to repalce what Mom is already capable of doing naturally. 3 week olds do nurse nearly constantly and that's completely normal. I would suggest co-sleeping at night and during naps so that she can nurse on demand and you can get some sleep, it takes a little getting used to but in the long run it's WAY easier. During the day if your arms need a rest I would suggest putting her in a moby wrap so that she has constant nursing access and you can move around freely. When she cries because you move her after she's fallen asleep nursing it's probably because she's still used to being near you, aside from these past 3 weeks she's spent her entire life being able to hear your heartbeat and the rythm of your breathing and that makes her feel safe, that's why she wants to be close to you and sometimes she'll nurse for comfort because it makes her feel close to you. Good luck!

Debbie - posted on 08/09/2010

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It is okay if a baby refuses the pacifier- eventually they will use there fingers. The pacifier takes away the time the baby could be nursing and is also a different kind of shape/plastic/not as comforting as mom.Look at Jack Newmans site for breast compressions that will encourage milk flow when the baby is at the breast. Dad's finger works - moms will too...turn if upside down when doing it....nail on the down side...hope that helps...hang in there. Debbie

Diana - posted on 08/09/2010

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You should be thankful that she won't take a pacifier. All of that sucking all the time is bad for the development of their mouth. And they are really hard to break of that habit when they are older. My son did the same thing about using me like that. She could be trying to get you to produce more milk. Or she could just want the skin to skin contact to comfort her.

Meaghan - posted on 08/09/2010

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My kids are breastfed and at this age also used me as a paci. She could be going threw a growth spurt it wont be like this forever trust me. Its hard cuz you want a break and some time to urself, but she is proably trying to build up your milk supply for her needs. The more she sucks the more you make, the more she emptys out the breats the better off you will be. Have you tried using a baby carries to put her to sleep and sooth her. Maybe even some soothing music? Once she falls alseep in your baby carrier you can gently put her down and wrap her up all snug and maybe u can get some time to urself:)

Carrie - posted on 08/08/2010

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A pacifier is a fake nipple. I guess some babies are just too clever to be fooled. It makes life more challenging for modern mummies.

Katrina - posted on 08/08/2010

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I see a LOT of responses so I don't know if someone already said this or not, but keep in mind that babies hit big growth spurts around 3 weeks old and 6 weeks old. Increased nursing during these periods will increase your milk supply and enable you to support her increased need for calories to grow. I know it SUCKS (pun intended) but this too shall pass. :) Till the next growth spurt - LOL! :) My son did take a paci, but still nursed constantly during his growth spurts and wanted nothing to do with it - that was sorta my cue what was going on.

Ashley - posted on 08/08/2010

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Hi Cynthia,

I am a lactation medicine student from the Jack Newman BF Clinic in Toronto (www.nbci.ca) and the problem you are having sounds like something we see all the time. Have a read, and if this seems to make sense in regards to your situation check out the tips below!

You likely have a great milk supply, but could investigate why your baby is not accessing that supply and still asking for food. Any sucking in the first 3 months + is a baby asing for food, but possibly not getting it. A great latch, and good transfer is ideal and when something is in the way of those things then it can be a very frustrating ride...

A baby could grow very very well, but still not be satisfied - these are two very different things! So her chrts likely look great, and she is good anc chubby... but like me, might still want that piece of cheesecake ;) When she asks to feed, and you put her to breast she just falls asleep or comes off... This is often because she wants flow (the milk is there, it's just not flowing quickly), and the flow isn't coming. This behavior is usually exaggerated in babies who also get bottles.

So, if it were there, she'd drink! Without flow, however, she won't likely stay on or interested. This is often when babies fall asleep, sukle without getting drinks for ages, get distracted, or wiggle and clamp down on the nipple. These are also the babies that guaranteed ,will wake up after 10-30 minutes from the last feed because they were not finished (satisfied) when they fell asleep or came off. People also often confuse this behavior for gas.

Compressions can really help - once you notice big gulps and pauses in the chin turning into those little nibbles, use compressions. When compressions are no longer working, switch sides. In the first 3 - 8 weeks while you are creating your long term supply, the more she goes back and forth between breasts the better. Also, that action at that time correlates to brain growth and ocular development, and is important for many more reasons than just protecting a supply. The pacifier would do the opposite, and likely lower your supply if you use it rather than feeding her.

Remember, too, her only way to tell your body to increase supply as needed is to feed more often. When we ignore this or call it something else ,we also tell the body to NOT make the milk she is trying to ask for. With an older child in tow, it can be very difficult to give her the attention she needs and also respect your newborn's feeding needs but it does get easier! You can even get your 3 year old involved with the compressions and watching for drinks.

All of this info is well written at www.nbci.ca. Check out:

Protocol to Increase BM Intake
Compressions
When Latching
Skin to Skin Contact
and
Colic in the BF Baby

The videos are very helpful too, to learn when babe is drinking or just sucking. Also, to see compressions work so you know if they are working.

Hope this helps!

I don't usually do this, but if you would like to call me I would be happy to chat with you about your issue. PM me!

Ashley, CD, NBCI candidate
www.haltondoulagroup.com
www.nbci.ca

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My son didn't seem interested in the pacifier in the beginning too. I myself sucked my thumb until middle school so I was terrified of my kids sucking their fingers. TOO HARD to break later, you cannot remove their finger! I kept offering the pacifier and eventually he was hooked. I nursed him from day one until he was 14 months old. He also took the occasional bottle of pumped milk. I never experienced any "nipple confusion" or problems as a result of any of that. Just keep offering the paci and hopefully sooner or later it will become a best friend. If not, maybe a little blankie? Something that your baby can connect with as a comfort item? Like those little taggie blankets?

Elysia - posted on 08/07/2010

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it may just be a stage, i found that my son did the same thing around that age and my daughter is 3 weeks old and is doing the same thing although at the moment i have eventually been able to get her to settle of a night, they do say that babies will do that to increase your milk supply when they are having a growth spurt as well

Jenny - posted on 08/07/2010

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My daughter was doing the same thing. The thing that helped us was this video called "The Happiest Baby on the Block". My sweet husband had to take her into another room and comfort her while she cried it out. For us, swaddling and a pacifier helped. It got so much easier after she was about 4 months. I wish you the best of luck!

Teri - posted on 08/07/2010

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did you try soothies? we used these with my kids (although my daughter was not a paci kid)

Amy - posted on 08/07/2010

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Wow, I haven't been on since my son was born and was ecstatic to see I wasn't the only one with this problem! Well, not that I like everyone else to be miserable too...just comforting to see some similarities in struggles. My son is now 2 months old and is currently being 'comforted' by my breast (yes, as I type). I will occasionally go through some serious mood swings because honestly it's very tiring being the only one/thing to pacify my son. We've also tried several different pacifiers, even the soothie, to which nothing works; he sometimes chews on the pacifier but it's not like he can hold it himself yet. He's also sucked on his own thumb/hand too, but hasn't learned to bring them to his mouth yet. It's frustrating for me to watch the house get so dirty and I can't sleep when he sleeps because I have other children to take care of too. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've actually cooked dinner (thank goodness my husband knows how to cook!). My other children appear to be very understanding but I'm sure they're disappointed when I can't come play with them. My newborn seems extremely demanding of me! I recently purchased a moby wrap and he's been able to take a nap so that I can do a few chores and make lunches. I'll have to experiment with the instructional video posted earlier regarding the wrap while breastfeeding. I did pump in the beginning hoping that my husband could help with feedings but my baby doesn't like the bottle either. I think he's going to be a thumb sucker, which I disagree with (as stated previously it's so much easier to take a pacifier away but they always have their thumbs (unless there's some freakishly horrible accident that occurs)), but at the moment I'm really wishing he'd realize how to bring his hands to his mouth now.

Wishing us all the best with our struggles!

Kyrie - posted on 08/07/2010

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She might be trying to build up your milk supply too like the others said, be careful that she's not when you do give her a binkie or she won't be getting enough milk and nursing will get really complicated.

Kyrie - posted on 08/07/2010

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Mine liked everyone's fingers too. There is only one pacifier they would take, it was Avent. I think it somewhat resembles a nipple and if you hold her like you're nursing her and it's warm when you give it to her she's more likely to accept it. Try that and tell me how it goes.

Ruby - posted on 08/06/2010

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lol, so i'm not the only one!!!
my 10 month old son never took a pacifier (oh how i wished he did) and therefore, uses me as such. No, he's not hungry... how do i know? because he latches on, then he tries to turn to the left, then to the right, tries to see how far back he can lean, ooooh and my favorite, he tries to stand completely up! Oh and did i mention i am only barely a "c" cup, so imagine my pain. i finally said enough. i put on a shirt that covers my chest completely (one he cannot strech up nor down); after about a week he stopped expecting to pacify on me. He still gets his night time feeding and tries to play then but i take him off cover my breast and tell him "no", after a few moments i put him back on and he gets serious and i am pain free!
good luck and hope this helped someone.

Cheri - posted on 08/06/2010

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you will know true pain if your baby gets nipple confusion because of the pacifier. My daughter ripped both of my nipples away from my breast! Yeah, labor was less painful! So, I would wait a bit. At this age no one gets sleep, I still wake every 2 hours to nurse my daughter and my son was every 4 hours. My son never took a pacifier.
My advice is to increase your milk by nursing more, drinking more, and mother's tea. Once your baby is full she will stop nursing after a while. At around 2 months things get much easier too. Hang in there momma, the first 1.5 months kinda stunk for me. Actually, with my son it was horrible! lol. With my second, my daughter, it wasn't as bad but still very physically/emotionally tired, stressed, and wanting a break for all the stuff...
By the way are you co-sleeping? I put both of my babies on my left arm and held them while I slept and they nursed. It was the only way I ever was able to get any sleep at all. Good luck!

Angie - posted on 08/06/2010

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Hello,

I had the same problem when my daughter was that age! Honestly, just go with her lead. Week three turns out to be the growth spurt week where she is growing, so she is trying to build up your supply. My daughter did the same thing...and it happens again at week 6, mo 3 and mo 6. I didn't introduce a pacifier to her til about 2 months old. I nursed her till she was about 13 and a half months old. Week 3 is always the hardest - just follow her lead Mama!!

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2010

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I completely agree with Courtney Hebberman... the first 2 months I had my son it was like I would never ever get anything done but it was totally worth it... I have since gotten him to take a pacifier for naps and when that doesn't work he is able to find his thumb now

Don't worry it will get easier with time as you and your baby get to know eachother better and eventually you'll know just exactly how to pull her off without waking her and whatnot

Holly - posted on 08/06/2010

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I think some mom could have been nicer about the whole sleep thing.. I have a 5wk old how is no feeding every hr on the hr and I feel like I get no break. I have a 5 n 6 yr old and I m not able to sleep when she is sleeping. What I have found that works for me is that she will take Mam Pacifier sometime but not ne other ones. At night when she dosent want to sleep I lay her on my chest n ear my heart so she can hear it beat. She goes right down and I am able to get a small break in between feedings. I only do this b4 my normal bedtime she normal eats at 9 then again at 11 so I do it in between thous to feedings. At night I have everything set up so I dont have to get out of bed. She sleeps right next to my bed I pull her bassinet up tight next to it so I just lean over pick her up change her then feed her. Sometimes I do the lay down poss. and we both fall asleep during the feeding I just prop a pillow behind her back so she dosent roll off the bed. During the day if you have help from family or friends take it. My mom takes my boys on Sat so I can sleep while she sleeps. If you dont have the help take some mommy time I let my boys put a movie in I pop popcorn and lay on the couch while they watch the movie. I know I got off the subject a little but I hope it can help with the sleep prob. I know as moms we have housework and as a SAHM I feel I should have it all done and ask for no help. I have learned in the last couple of days that I will have a break down if I dont. Ask your husband to get up with your 3yrold in the morning when he is off so you can get an extra couple mins of sleep or for him to do just something little around the house.. GL

Sally - posted on 08/06/2010

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Some kids need mom more than others. No matter what the mainstream parenting "experts" say; at that age being with mom is a NEED. Put her in a baby carrier, adjust it so she can latch, and you'll have at least one arm free and be mobile without making her cry. My baby liked her Moby wrap best for sleeping. I like our ring sling best for nursing. There are enough different kinds that one is bound to be comfy for you.
If your baby won't suck it, don't throw away your Soothie pacifier. In a few months it is an awesome teether.
Good Luck

Misty - posted on 08/06/2010

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My daughter wouldnt take a pacifier for a long time either. Then finally we tried the soothie pacifier and she loved it. Now she will only suck her thumb. Is there a pacifier like the nipple that your baby used on the bottle?

Wendy - posted on 08/06/2010

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Part of the job description I am afraid. Tristan slept on the breast. I would just lay on my side and he would latch and suck as needed. Somewhere in the middle of the night he would get nigglie and we would roll over. Good times. miss them somewhat. I found a baby sling was great as he could even feed when I was shopping/ running after his 2 year old sister etc. Probably at 3 weeks though she is just going through a growth spurt. This is important for milk production/supply as she grows and needs more. Growth spurts usually last 24 -72 hours.

Aideen - posted on 08/06/2010

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Relax a little about it all....let her suck all day....get nothing done...and learn to sleep while she sucks! This was my solution to the same problem anyway!

Neither of my two were interested in a pacifier....both nursed all day for a while (growth spurts, all evening 6-9 at least, for a few weeks) and both loved to snooze while nursing. This doesn't go on for very long. Be patient and get a book or put on the TV. You're doing a great job. Maybe a sling would allow you to get things done too? Didn't try that myself ... but might be worth a try if you really need to get a lot done.

Keep up the good work.

Yolanda - posted on 08/06/2010

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My 2 month old will not take a pacifier either, and only is soothed from my breast, so what i do is I bottle feed her and the last ounce I breastfeed b.c I know once she finishes eating she will go to sleep, once she is knocked out i burp her and she falls to sleep, try it maybe this will help you.

Danielle - posted on 08/06/2010

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my daughter was colic so I tried getting her to take a pacifier for the first 16 weeks, she refused and used me as one only. I tried about 10 different brands and styles and basicly gave up. She is now 8 months and still doesn't or should I say won't take one. Thinks they're great for throwing accross the room though. If she takes a bottle fine u could try and use the drop ins system and push all the air out first so when the formula is gone no air gets in and it kinda turns into a pacifier. TigerLily wouldn't take a bottle but my sister in law did it and it worked wonderfully. I spent alot of money on pacifiers so I just kinda put them in her toy box and was hoping she'd take it but nothin.

Natalie - posted on 08/06/2010

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I have always viewed the expression "baby is using you as a pacifier" in a much more literal sense... baby is using you to pacify him/herself. That is, to soothe and calm. That is how pacifiers were named... because they pacify. ANYway... back to topic.

My first son was so fussy and wanted to nurse all the time. I literally went into depression after several months due to lack of sleep (though I didn't realize it at the time, only after he started sleeping through the night). Some tips saved me:

1. Try the soothie pacifier as some mentioned. He loved this brand and eventually was able to switch to other brands, but first HAD to have this kind. Or, as someone else mentioned, you can try the bottle nipple stuffed with cotton or cloth. I'm not sure how this will be with swallowing air and creating gas bubbles though. To contradict some posters, I would rather have my baby attached to a pacifier then their thumb... You can take the pacifier away later, but not the thumb!

2. Take a t-shirt you have worn all day and lay it flat in her bed. That will give her the smell of you at night and maybe she won't miss you so much and need to latch on all night. We had to take a step further, upon the advice of another mother I knew with the same problem, and we took a very thin blanket (you can use a flat sheet too), roll it very tightly, and create a little nest for your baby to sleep in. You MUST be very careful that the sheet/blanket roll does not rise higher then the baby's shoulders so their breathing is not obstructed. We also always had a fan going to keep the air circulating. Swaddling helps tremendously too! We swear by the Kiddopotomus "Swaddle Me" swaddlers. So easy to use.

3. Wear her during the day in a wrap or sling so she is close to you all day. This helped my son feel more secure so he started to sleep longer at night because he didn't miss me as much.

I hope that helps! My son did not sleep through the night until he was 1, so I totally understand your frustration and your tiredness! As my la leche league leader is fond of saying, "this too shall pass."

Holly - posted on 08/06/2010

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My daughter did the exact same thing to me. She was a smallish baby and the pacifiers that I was buying were just too big for her mouth and tasted terrible. She ended up in the er with colic one night and the nurse asked me if she would take a pacifier to distract her from the needle pokes well of course I said no she doesnt like them....the nurse then got a container of glucose (suger water) dipped a pacifier into and wa-la she was sucking on it like there was no tomorrow. Since then she has decided she doesnt like the pacifier again but again it was the wrong size and we bought the right size and shes just fine again. We bought the MAM pacifiers if that is any help the smallest ones are very small and worked very well for my little girl.

Erin - posted on 08/06/2010

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Natursutten is a great pacifier - all natural rubber. My oldest didn't take a pacifier for anything but chewing for the first 7 months though, and I understand your frustration at not being able to do anything else. I had my husband make extra of dinner each night so there was always some healthy food that was easy to get with one hand - and that was about it, I learned to do just about anything with one hand, and leave the rest for my husband to do!

Schmoopy - posted on 08/06/2010

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I wouldn't push the paci issue too much. Once you get your baby to take one, you'll have a heck of a time getting her to give it up!

My son has never taken one, and he does pretty well with sleep now that he's 14 months old. You just have to work hard at the sleep thing - and be patient. At 3 weeks old she's not likely to sleep well anyway.

Alexi - posted on 08/06/2010

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I was my daughters pacifier for a fair while. She refused to take one and used me. That was fine when i had nothing else do to, but when i was busy cooking, cleaning or taking care of ym other 3 (all boys), then i had to let her cry and she soon settled down because she got to know that she cannot be in my arms 24/7.

We can only do so much. Comfort sucking is totally fine but if your busy, get it done. She will learn in time. :D Hope this is helpful.



Oh, and she is 16 MO now and still does not take one and is doing fine with BF too. But she does still occasionally comfort feed...lol

[deleted account]

Been there..
My daughter has never taken a liking to Pacifiers..And at 9 months old she has never used one a day in her life even tho I tried and tried every single brand on the market, nothing worked. So I have a pile of Paci's but none of them are being used.
My daughter used me as the Paci for months and why not, it's the most natural thing for babies to take a hold of...It sucks when you feel like your a walking Paci and dairy cow, but the time is short ...Hang in there it will be over soon.

Francesca - posted on 08/05/2010

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My daughter never took to any pacifier. And I bought ten different kinds. I ust came to terms with being used as a human pacifer. And it passed. At the time it seemed like forever, but now it seems like ages ago.

Some babies take to them, others don't. Good luck.

Sylvia - posted on 08/05/2010

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My DD never took a pacifier either. Lots of babies don't. (Smart babies.) And I felt like she nursed around the clock. And she couldn't sleep unless someone was holding her. It was rough for a while ... but that's life with a newborn for you, I'm afraid.

Look at it this way: if she never gets attached to a pacifier, you won't have to take it away from her when she's three, right? Also, as my oncologist pointed out to me when DD was a baby, pacifiers can get lost, drop on the floor, etc.; breasts and fingers and thumbs? not so much.

Listen, you have a three-week-old baby. This is not a time of your life when you can expect to get much sleep, or to get much of anything done. What you need is help around the house (so you can eat actual meals without having to cook them yourself, and so that dirty laundry and dirty dishes don't take over your entire apartment) and moral support (so you don't feel guilty about all the stuff you're not getting done or feel like an inadequate mom because your baby is "using you as a pacifier"), not a piece of plastic to stick in the baby's mouth.

I actually really hate that expression, "the baby is using you as a pacifier". My sisters-in-law used to tell me that when DD was a baby, and it drove me nuts. Pacifiers are a substitute for the breast, not the other way around. :)

Cyndel - posted on 08/05/2010

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My 2 week old uses me as a pacifier also though he will take a pacifier but he prefers me. Have you tries the pacifier Mum. My kids seem to prefer those. I know how you fell. Hope you find some relief. Good luck.

Christina - posted on 08/05/2010

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Neither of my children took a pacifier. The pacifier was ME! Still is. But hey - at least I did not have to do the hard yards of getting them to give the pacifier up!

Jessica - posted on 08/05/2010

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I agree, it is probably more about the growth spurt at this age and less about comfort. They need you to increase your milk supply. The same thing happened to me all 3 times. It is hard, but it only lasted a week until teh milk came in and they were able to be satisfied. I also found that if my nipples became to sore I would ease myself by giving them my little finger in ther mouth upside down instead of a pacifier. If you push up a little bit on the roof of their mouth they think its a nipple and sometimes fall asleep. Just make sure your nails are short and fingers are clean (of course). This got me throughthose long nights when they didnt want anything but me and my nipples said "no way!" It sounds like you are doing all the right stuff!! Keep up the great job Mom, we have all been there... it is so worth it. Sometimes when I found myself getting frustrated I would sing a song to ease my mind and take it off of the pain... literally, my son NEVER came off the breast for the first 4 weeks. Lansinoh was my BEST friend.

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