Moms Need Help, We Need To Give Support

Lori - posted on 08/26/2012

This group is for Breastfeeding questions and support. We are not a debating group. If you wish to start a debate, please find a debating community.



Thank You

Jean - posted on 08/26/2012

I guess I'm a little over protective of my gender. I sometimes feel like a hen watching over her brood.This way of thinking has been with me for a long time and I do not intend to change my point of view, anymore than the next person. I know for a fact, that my point of view is not that much different from the majority of females.

I am a part of a group of women from 5 different cultures, I hear their opinions on many interesting topics. Some topics are, childbirth, sexual intimacy, and nudity. The husbands are usually outside, during these discussions, so the females are quite comfortable during the talk. In that group of females, only one of them says that she is okay with her father and brother watching her give birth and breastfeed.



Ewwwwww and guess what? The others all agree that it is weird and not necessary for males other than the husband and medical persons to be in the intimate birthing space. Can anyone guess which background/culture, the lone opinion woman comes from? I won't tell.



If doctors and men don't invite an audience into the prostate exam room, then why do women invite an audience into the delivery room?



We shouldn't justify a woman exposing her breasts and vagina to these male relatives, with the same old tired songs about "It 's because she is giving birth" or, "They're excited to see the baby", or "The vagina is not a sexual organ during childbirth." (rubbish, hogwash!!)



When she goes in for her sixth week checkup, and is told by her doctor that she can become intimate with her husband, that SAME vagina will still be there and it's exactly the SAME vagina, that gave birth. The vaginas did not play musical chairs and switch places. This whole situation really is a double standard and an imbalanced practice that some women easliy accept. Men, on the other hand, will not allow women to invade their spaces that way, and yes Sandie, it is the same thing as a prostate exam, as they both are times when the genders have their genitals exposed during a medical procedure. Only difference is, that a man and his doctor WILL NOT allow the man's mom, mother in law, and sister, to be in the man's intimate space.



Simply put, it seems that some women, are just gullible, weak, and easily brainwashed, and have no sense of body modesty. My..... how times have changed.



Jean

Sandie - posted on 08/26/2012

Well my dad certainly wouldn't watch me using the toilet or in the shower, lol, and while I was feeding my babies I was discreet with a muslin cloth draped across my chest so nothing was "on show". I would object to midwives or doctors suggesting he watch the baby's birth up close or if I was having difficulty latching my baby and all was on show then again he wouldn't be watching. But I don't think male family members should be banned from the room, and as for my husband finding it appropriate or not, it's my body so my choice. I don't quite think it's the same as having a prostate exam in company lol, but I see your point :)

Jean - posted on 08/19/2012

I respect all other women's choices, when it comes to breastfeeding. If they don't mind their dads being in there, then it certainly is not my business to say anything.

But for me, wow, it certainly would be inappropriate and a little weird for my dad to be there. My breasts are not normally in my dad's line of vision, so why would I change at breastfeeding time?? I associate this to a man, not having on his underwear and getting his prostate and tecticles thoroughly examined, with his daughter, wife, mom, and dad being in the room.
My question is, what really is the point in a woman's dad being in the room? Is he assisting the doctor? Is she usually topless in front of him?
Anyway, any decent man who respects his daughter's intimate times with her private body parts (Ex. showering, having sex with her husband, getting a papsmear, using the toliet, changing sanitary items, etc) would look away or leave the room while she is trying to get the baby to latch on. Sounds a little weird if he doesn't turn away or walk out. Also, what husband would feel comfortable with that situation?
We, as Americans have allowed our morals and standards of decency to be compromised to the point that we don't think that women should ever cover their private parts. We have even gotten to the point of scolding those who are in favor of modesty. These modest persons, are called, prudish, old fashioned, not modern, or anti male. I've even read articles that advised women to let their dads in the delivery rooms, with the suggestion to allow him to look at her vagina during childbirth and her breasts during breastfeeding, because he changed her diapers.
Wow, how ludicrous!!

Jean

Sandie - posted on 08/19/2012

I don't think all men need to be kept away, when I had my son and was latching him on for the first time I had my mum, dad, sister, husband and about 5 midwives in the room with me, lol. (Apparently it was new for the midwives to see a baby searching and latching by itself...strange seeing as it's so natural lol) I had no problem with my dad being there, I was discreet and he stayed near the foot end of the bed so couldn't really see anything anyway. It was nice to have family around me, and when I had my daughter everyone was around pretty much from the start too.
I think if a woman feels the need for privacy at this time then it's up to her to let family know she would like time to herself before the baby is born, then it's well established well in advance.
Having said that, the midwives did check with me before they allowed anyone other than my hubby into my room.