My 14 month old is still breastfeeding and Wont sleep through the night!

Loreana - posted on 12/06/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 14 month old son has been exclusively breastfed from the beginning we ever took the bottle or pacifier no matter which ones i bought or how I made it. We have co-slept from the beginning and he has never slept through the night without waking to breastfeed. I am done with breastfeeding, it's starting to make me feel claustrophobic and annoyed, and I think it's me and hubbys sleeping movements which are waking him. so this weekend I am going to put him in his own toddler bed (right beside ours) and give him a sippy cup instead of breastfeeding. This will be the first time I will have EVER denied him the boob and I am anticipating a tantrum and a half. but I intend to make it fun for him (hopefully) and help him feel secure in whatever way i can. If everyone could please give me advice in any way you feel, I am already dealing with allot of adults in my life telling me that a 14 month old should not be breastfeeding anymore and I'm scared I might be stopping just because of embarrasment, even though I know I am going to miss the whole experiance. I am very worried he will be stronger than me and wil refuse to stop bf and I will give in because I really dont actually want to stop but hubby is tired of sharing the bed. thank you for any advise or support given thanks you all.

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[deleted account]

I want to add a quote from the newest edition of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, " Weaning doesn't make a child need you less, it just gives you one less tool to meet their needs". This is so so true!!

[deleted account]

My son is 15mo and still nurses 2-4 times in the night. It doesn't disrupt my sleep a great deal (though sometimes I do get fed up) because we bed-share.



Do what you have to do, but don't let others pressure you. It's normal and natural to breastfeed toddlers in the night.



If you've had enough though, try googling "Jay Gordon night weaning" for a gentle method (may take some time). Good luck, mama!



EDIT: Oops, I see others have already mentioned Dr. Jay Gordon. :)

Lori - posted on 12/06/2011

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As i was reading your post I was also going to suggest you try night weaning. Glad to see Celeste suggested it already. And her links are great.

I planned on nursing my first daughter until she turned 1. Once she had her birthday I just about broke down crying cause it was time to wean her. After a conversation with my husband, I decided that none of us were ready to wean and went on to nurse her until she was 23 months. I am very glad I did. I also was getting comments about how much longer are you going to nurse... including from my Mom, but I would just tell her my LO is not ready to wean, and I'll wean her later. Most others I just did not tell that I was still nursing.

Celeste - posted on 12/06/2011

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Is he just nursing at night? If so, have you thought about nightweaning and then reassess the situation? Here's the method I used to night wean my boys:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleepp...

The adults that are telling you to wean are totally ill informed. The World Health Organization recommends nursing to two *OR* beyond. There are a ton of benefits to nursing a toddler.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/eb...

Lise - posted on 12/20/2011

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Just as an FYI ... Night nursing and night waking are not always connected. I had a friend nightwean her baby (and really, wean, since he only nursed at night) and found that not only does he wake just as much as before, he's now MUCH harder to get back to sleep. I'm not saying don't try it - bfing should continue as long as baby AND mommy want to. But keep that in mind and maybe go slowly so you can bring it back if you want to.

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Chelese - posted on 12/26/2011

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I've been reading all of these entries about weaning and I have to say they have really been helpful. My oldest son sounds a lot like Loreana. He co slept for a while but I weaned him cold turkey at 4 months BIGGEST mistake of my life. But he co slept for so long that when I finally put him in his own bed it was a challenge for him to get use too. My husband got so tired of sharing the bed that he decided to move to the couch. Your LO is use to getting the boob and may refuse the bottle. And he may not like cows milk. My youngest Caleb who is 13 months hated that stuff. And I talked to his pediatrician and said I should get Pediasure. I have to say my experience is somewhat the same as yours except it was the daytime weaning. He has been cut just about all of his day time nursing all except for his 11am. For now i'm keeping the first morning last night and the 2 or 3 he gets in the night. So I tried giving him the bottle of pediasure and he didn't want it. He loves getting breast fed so much that he just turned his head back and forth. So hubby said go ahead and just BF him. I was like okay i'll do it on the first day but the next will be the bottle. So the second day he was resistant but I was very persistent. Once he figured out that "hey this stuff tastes better than breast milk" the fighting stopped. It just takes time no matter what time of day or night it is. I think once he gets use to this is how it's going to be and this is the pattern he will accept it. Caleb is so different than Kaden. He gets so sleepy at night he doesn't really seem to care if he sleeps in his crib or co sleeps next to me. I have to admit that since my husband works graveyard I like having my LO next to me. I think it's comforting for both of us. I was going to try to start the night time weaning but since it's mostly just me and him at night Kaden in his own room I'm going to wait on that. I can't stand hearing the crying it just bothers me. And I don't like having the feeling that i'm denying him what he wants for now. Regardless if it's for thirst or comfort. I think by the time he turns 2 maybe i'll start the night time weaning. By then I hope he can understand that it's time to start thinking about cutting them.

Cyndel - posted on 12/20/2011

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When DS1 was 14 months the only time he nursed was the middle of the night, I weaned him, though I now regret that because I've changed a lot about the way I parent. I suggest saying good night and letting daddy cuddle to sleep. because he won't just miss the nursing but also the warmth and physical touch that goes with nursing, Maybe even go as far as having daddy take off his shirt for some skin to skin too. It will probably help more then the sippy cup.

Ania - posted on 12/19/2011

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It is normal. Some exclusively BF babies nurse at night. But you can try wean your baby at night. I didn't read anything on it. I tried my own method. I was denying him boob as long as possible into the night and then when he really was crying around 3-4 I would give in. After few days we were left with that feeding and then 5 am feeding. I don't know what your situation is, but my son slept in the crib so I would just go to him and feed.

[deleted account]

Ha Ha! Many times my husband has woken me up to roll over and nurse my co sleeping 22 month old because she is fussing and i am tuning it out! My husband is my biggest BF support :)

Loreana - posted on 12/15/2011

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I have had great success in a way! I started Dr Gordons method and as I suspected caleb fought tooth and nail. I patted him and talked to him to try get him back to sleep for well over an hour, he did eventually fall asleep for about four minutes than we had to start all over again. Hubby begged me to just bf, and after I explained to him what giving in can do to the work we just put in we agreed to allow baby to try self weaning, to give him time and consideration that maybe he is not ready and why force it? I dont see any harm in bf longer. And even if it does sometimes make me feel claustrophobic I can handle a little discomfort for his happiness and plus I honestly don't htink hubby can handle the crying! LOL

[deleted account]

I am unfamiliar with dr. Gordon's method, but starting with cutting out one nursing at a time is a way a lot of mom's find helpful. Have you looked into your local La Leche League? You will find good info on night weaning if that is what you want or at the very least support of your very good decision to be BF your 14 month old that is still a baby. There is so much bad info out there, it is nice to know there is a place you can go to get helpful, ACCURATE info. Good luck! www.llli.org

Loreana - posted on 12/06/2011

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thanks celeste both articles were very helpful! I am going to start this weekend for the first '3 day ' training. I don't think I want to stop bfing altogether but to help caleb and myself get a restful nights sleep stopping through the night sounds and feels right to me, thanks again,

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