My doctor told me to wean!

CECI - posted on 07/02/2010

OMG!!!! My kids Dr. was encouraging when I told her I was still nursing. She even gave me a big WAY TO GO! If you feel weird about talking to your Dr. about his comment talk to his nurse maybe she can help. Always express your feelings to your Dr. they should me there to listen. If he doesn't listen then it time for a new Dr. I love bf my baby she still wants to and so do I. In the end it's your decision to stay or not to stay. Good luck and WAY TO GO! on bf your baby!

Nancy - posted on 07/01/2010

i am still feeding my son who is two and half. my peditrician that it is ok
i know that it is hard to wean them and they will do it on there own
my son only feeds at night time and its only for a few minutes
you got to do what is comfortable for you
i know that my all of a sudden goes to sleep for naps now without feeding which is a huge step for him
i hope that this helps

Chloie - posted on 07/01/2010

i fed my first for 16 months and only stopped cause i was pregnant n ran out of milk. U can feeed your son as long as you want it is still very good for them. Evem people feed till 5 yrs it is recommended in some countries n ive heard 3 yrs as a recommended age, 6 months as the least amount of time. If he says anything in the future just tell him to shove it sideways its ur dicision not his :)

Carole - posted on 07/01/2010

My doctor hinted it to me too.. my son is 18 months old.. I tld my pediatrician, he could come comfort my child through that transition if he so insists on weaning. Screw that. I also told him my two teenaged sons aren;t breastfeeding anymore, i am sure their little brother will stop too.. in fact my teens are horrifyied that they were breastfed.. hahaha

Leah - posted on 07/01/2010

I'm going to tell you this is the one time you do not listen to what your doctor says. Your doctor is defently out of line tell you that. If you do a little reseach on the matter you will find that studies have been done that prove that it is a benifit to contuine breastfeeding well after a year. "The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond."(http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/ind...). I will tell you from a past experiance that a man should never give advice on how long to breastfeed for because it is not their place. I had issues in the military with my first about having to pump while I was at work and let me tell you when I was told by my superiors who were men that I should just give my daughter formula I was extremely upset and in the end they won because I lost my milk. So from my experiance don't do it unless you and your son are ready so keep strong!

Shawn - posted on 07/01/2010

Your doctor sounds like an ass. My son is almost 16 months and still nurses twice a day. My daughter let me know when she was ready to be done nursing and I expect my son will too when he is ready. right now it is special for both of us. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for two years so I would do what feels right for you nursing and with finding a pediatrician that makes you feel comfortable.

Amy - posted on 07/01/2010

You know the facts, all us moms here do! Your son will benefit fro nursing as long as he nurses. Educate your pediatrician and his staff. If they don't like it, well that is just tough noogies for them! Don't traumatize your poor little son because some Dr gave the wrong advice. Drs are human and have personal opinions. My pediatrician demands mothers of his patients to breast feed! He gets upset when they refuse without a medical reason of inability! I made sure during my 1st pregnancy that I made it 100% clear to all my physicians that I intend to breast feed my baby and go as long as possible, as long as it was medically safe (medication for cardiac condition, they put me on baby safe meds, you have options ladies!!!!) I wanted to nurse her until 2 years old at the very least and beyond if she still desired it (she's a boob addict!). Now I am pregnant again and still nursing her at 9 months, hoping to make it til 1 year and beyond if there are no complications to my current pregnancy because of it (breast feeding while pregnant can cause uterine contractions). Nursing does help babies get sick less often and with less severity. My girl has been sick twice and it was easy going! Wishing us all luck!

Jennifer - posted on 07/01/2010

Your doctor is misinformed, because breastmilk does not magically lose nutrition on a certain day. Look on your breast, no expiration date stamped there! But seriously, you could do a little research online (kellymom.com has a lot of good stuff) print some out and go back prepared to talk with him and state the truth (which would be helpful to all his other patients, if he will listen and learn from you). But if you really feel uncomfortable or if you talk to him and he still says he wants you to wean, then just switch doctors. I appreciate that doctors have gone to school and studied hard and are much better educated than me on most health issues. But the plain fact is that he is dead wrong on this issue. And trying to wean is affecting your son's health by messing up his sleep and causing you and him lots of unnecessary stress.
(My girl is 19.5 months, still nurses happily 3-6 times per day. And I have no plans to quit before she is two years and we'll go as long as she wants after that. It's good for her nutritionally and emotionally. I enjoy the snuggles but we're not doing it "for me". I recommend the La Leche League book called "How Weaning Happens." It is about weaning, but more about why you SHOULDN'T wean early. It tells you ways to wean, but also makes you feel strong about your choice to continue nursing.)

Jessie - posted on 07/01/2010

I wouldn't dump your doc. if this is the only thing that makes you uncomforable, just give him some updated stats. next time and just do what you feel is right. No reason to get outraged over it because you know what is right and just stick to it. If he keeps making you uncomfortable I would leave. I don't think he is horrible for saying it because he is the Dr. and it is his opinion and maybe you should ask him why he feels there aren't any health benefits and see what he says. I'm not siding with him just maybe see why he believes that. Anyway, good luck and stick with your gut.

Christine - posted on 07/01/2010

Hi There! There are tons of reasons why BFing past 1 year is the best choice...especially if your baby wants to keep doing it. (who cares what othrs think)

http://www.lilpals.com/?q=node/10
http://www.unicef.org/nutrition/index_br...
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/eb...

I hope thse help. I plan to breastfeed past 2 years if he lets me :)

Good luck! Dont give in yet.

Bernadette - posted on 07/01/2010

Ehhh! Find a new pediatrician! Call me sexist but there has always been a clear difference between my children's past male and female pediatricians. Female pediatricians just seem to "get it." What I don't like about your child's doctor was the question that he asked, "Are you nursing for yourself?" What a rude comment. You should of joked with him and told him that you are indeed doing it for yourself because you love the way it makes your breasts hang even that much more. I fiinally weaned my 2.5 year old of his morning and evening "sessions" because I noticed he began to want it more and more often throughout the day. I didn't want to backtrack. My husband obviously wanted me to end with the nursings as well. The first 2 nights were difficult but then it was clear sailing after that. Good luck and do what feels right for you.

Cecelia - posted on 07/01/2010

It's defently not your doc's choice. I can't believe that he said theres no point lol! That's not a very helpful Doc. He should have said well maybe it's about time to start weaning him off.

the American Heath Organization says it best and healthier to keep on breastfeeding till there 2 yearsold. If you want to wean off I would reccomend pumping and giving him the nutrients through you in a sippy cup or whatever so he's still getting it from you without having to give it to him through the breast. When you give him the bottle make sure it feels like to him he's getting it from the breast holding him as much as possible as if you are breastfeeding him this will help out alot...Just make sure daddy does this and not you. Then he won't complain as much and will be an easier process for mommy that way.

Jacqueline - posted on 07/01/2010

My doctor told me to wean and i told her the Im nursing till shes 2. Your doctor is a meany and need a new one. He shouldnt have asked you that!

Katherine - posted on 07/01/2010

If you think the WHO's suggestion of a MINIMUM of 2 years breastfeeding is "really long," let me clue you in! In some indigenous native American peoples, during food shortages it was not uncommon to breastfeed until the child was 9.

Pauline - posted on 07/01/2010

Doctors are also human and can make mistakes. As a nurse I did not receive much information on breastfeeding while in nursing school. I think this are some misconceptions to the type of information covered in nursing and medical school. Unfortunately, practical information such as nursing is not focused on. This may be a good opportunity to educate the physician on best practice. Often times with the best intentions people may say something that comes out wrong. I am a huge advocate of extended breastfeeding and my son at 18 months is breastfeeding 6-8 times a day. But I didn't know the benefits of extended breastfeeding until I was a parent and attended a wonderful parenting class. If it wasn't for the class I am not sure I would have nursed past one year since most books do not discuss this. Best of luck! Do what is best for you and your son. While attending a parent class I was given this quote "believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense" - buddha

Janet - posted on 07/01/2010

Human babies are meant to nurse a lot longer than we allow them to. Scientists have said that looking at other mammals, humans should nurse until about 7 (and in history, many humans were nursed until that age). The WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years. There are many benefits for the child (and for you) to nurse that long or longer. It will be more traumatic for you and him to stop breastfeeding before he is ready.

Ironically, the term "Wean" only means to add additional food, but medical professionals quite often mess up this term. If you want to really be a brat to the doctor (which I would do personally, but then I am a smart ass *LOL*), point out to him that you already "weaned" him when you began solid foods. ;) The proper medical term for stopping breastfeeding is cessation of breastfeeding.

In short, fire your doctor. Find another one. Make sure to write him a letter saying why you left, giving him links to the WHO recommendations and other articles stating that nursing is still beneficial after a year. Maybe he will learn something and will not do the same thing to someone else as he's done to you.

Good luck!

FATHIMA - posted on 07/01/2010

I BREASTFED ALL 4 MY KIDS. RELIGIOUSLY WE ARE NOT PERMITTED TO FEED AFTER THE AGE OF TWO, SO NATURALLY I WOULD START THE WEANING A FEW MONTHS EARLIER. I MUST SAY EACH CHILD TAKES TO THE WEANING DIFFERENTLY AND SOME ARE MORE EMOTIONAL THAN OTHERS ABOUT LEAVING THE BREAST. IT IS AN EMOTIONAL TIME FOR US AS MUMS AS WELL.I DON'T THINK A MAN COULD EVER!! UNDERSTAND THE BOND THAT IS FORMED BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER BREASTFED CHILD. IT IS POSSIBLY TRUE THAT THE MILK DOESN'T HAVE MUCH NUTRITIONAL VALUE TO A CHILD OF 17 MONTHS BUT EMOTIONALY IT OFFERS THEM COMFORT, SAFETY AND AFTER ALL, THEY HAVE KNOWN THIS "HAVEN" SINCE BIRTH. MY OPINION: TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO WEAN YOUR DARLING ( I KNOW I ALWAYS CRIED FOR THEM WHEN THEY JUST WANTED THAT LAST TASTE OF THEIR 'DOODOO' ( THAT'S WHAT MY BABIES CALLED IT.)
AS FOR YOUR DOCTOR: I THINK YOU COULD GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE, BUT NOT IF HE STEPS OVER THE LINE AGAIN. I GENERALY FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH A PAED THAT HAS KIDS HIMSELF. SOMEHOW I FIND THEY ARE MORE UNDERSTANDING WHEN IT COMES TO EMOTIONAL DISTRESS WE AS PARENTS HAVE WHEN OUR KIDS ARE ILL.

GOOD LUCK
ENJOY

Jennifer - posted on 07/01/2010

I guess if you really feel the need to wean now, I would keep the bedtime feeding and eliminate the morning feeding instead. It's easier to distract them in the morning when they aren't tired and it's better (at least for me) if they are upset during the day versus not going to bed at night - at least you have some options for dealing with them. The bedtime feeding is the most difficult to get rid of (at least in my opinion). So, at least he would go to bed well. Good luck to you!

ME - posted on 07/01/2010

I weaned my first at 18 mos, but only because of health concerns (for me and my pregnancy). I have a 4 month old daughter, and my pediatrician (who I like very much) told me to start weaning her, and supplementing with formula. I was HORRIFIED. I smiled and nodded, and have no intention of doing it. If you like your pediatrician, just ignore this advice, and stick with him. If not, then find another. You know that BF is good for your child...so keep it up as long as you and your son want!

Tiffany - posted on 07/01/2010

The only thing to do here is what you feel is right for you and your baby. I still have people ask me when am I going to quit nursing my son and he just turned 1. For me and my daughter it was around 15 months but we'll see how it goes with Ethan. It is hard not too feel pressure from those outside influences ... just keep in mind why you're doing it, that is why you (and baby) are the one to make the decision when is the right time to quit. It is unfortunate that your doc was encouraging you to wean but if you have been happy with him up to this point than i think having a conversation with him about this topic would be vital before you make a decision to find another doctor. Good luck and stay strong! No one else is going to take a stand for you and your baby on this issue except you!

Rebecca - posted on 07/01/2010

The World Health Organization recommends nursing your child for 2 years & your doctor should be aware of this. If he isn't make him aware. My youngests doctor tried the same thing with me so I educated him & his staff on the benefits of extended breastfeeding & I nursed my youngest for 4 1/2 years! Give him copies of the following & anything else you can find on your own. Don't stop until BOTH of you are ready to!
Extended Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding Benefits Beyond One Year
Why delay weaning? Why extended breastfeeding?
While more people are initiating breastfeeding at birth now, only a small percentage makes it to six months, let alone to a year.
Breastfeeding beyond six months and especially past the first year often incites negative comments from family, friends and strangers. Some think that there are no benefits to nursing beyond a year, but they are wrong.
There are many breastfeeding benefits beyond one year for you and your baby.
Did you realize…
• The average age worldwide for weaning is 4.2 years old!
• The World Health Organization (WHO) suggests that babies and toddlers be breastfed for a minimum of two years, and as long after that as is mutually accepted.
• Extended breastfeeding is considered beneficial and recommended by the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Family Physicians.
Breastfeeding Benefits Beyond Six Months, One Year and Beyond
• While many people will tell you that a child doesn't get anything out of breast milk after six month or a year, that is untrue. Toddlers get energy, protein, calcium, essential fatty acids, vitamins A, B12 and C from breast milk. They also get 76% of their folate requirements from nursing.
• Breastfeeding beyond the age of one protects the toddler from illness. Studies are showing that toddlers who nurse between the ages of 16 and 30 months have fewer illnesses, and those they do get it ill, it lasts a shorter period of time.
• When a child develops an illness like diarrhea or fever, the appetite usually decreases. Children in these circumstances are still willing to nurse, preventing dehydration and providing nutrition during the course of the illness.
• The World Health Organization states that "a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under the age of five. Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness."
• Toddlers who nurse develop fewer allergies and cases of asthma.
• Nursing toddlers do better in school later. Breastfeeding builds the brain.
• Toddlers that breastfeed make better adjusted children. Their needs are met physically and emotionally through breastfeeding and the close relationship between mom and child. They develop their sense of independence secure in who they are.
• While short-term breastfeeding offers some protection for children from leukemia, sustained breastfeeding gives them an even greater reduced risk.
Extended Benefits for Mom
The longer a woman breastfeeds, the more protection she has from breast cancer. Studies show a distinct correlation between how many years are spent breastfeeding and increasing protection from breast cancer.
In addition:
• Extended breastfeeding reduces the chances of developing ovarian cancer.
• Breastfeeding reduces the chances of developing uterine cancer.
• Breastfeeding reduces the chances of developing endometrial cancer.
• Breastfeeding reduces the chances of developing rheumatoid arthritis.
• Breastfeeding helps moms lose weight with less effort.
• Breastfeeding helps protect women from osteoporosis. While nursing, a mother may lose 1 to 2% of bone density. This loss is gained back after weaning, often to the mother's benefit as an increased amount is added to the bones than was lost.
• Sustained breastfeeding delays fertility in many women by suppressing ovulation.

Beyond Toddlerhood: The Breastfeeding Relationship Continues
by Priscilla Young Colletto
From: LEAVEN, Vol. 34 No. 1, February-March 1998, pp. 3-5
While mothers who are still nursing children at two, three, four or more years of age are exceptional in Western culture, they are perhaps greater in number than most people realize. Because nursing beyond the first year of life is seen as atypical in Western culture, mothers making this choice may face heavy criticism. They may also feel isolated, for as their children grow older, it often becomes harder and harder to find support and more difficult to find peers who have taken the same path.
Source of Support
As Leaders we are important sources of information and support for these mothers. We can help them to overcome the feelings of isolation and doubt that come with making a choice that is different. We can help them see the broader picture: there are mothers all over the world who nurse their children for years rather than the few weeks or months that are common in Western culture. We can remind them that many mothers before them, throughout human history, have had nursing relationships with their children throughout the early childhood years. We can make sure these mothers have the information they need to counter the criticism and judgmental attitudes that they may encounter. We can help support their self esteem so they may confidently follow their inner voice and feel comfortable making the choices that are right for them.
Since Series Meetings are designed to meet the needs of new mothers, a special forum may be needed to give mothers of older children the opportunity to share their experiences and concerns about nursing through the toddler years and beyond. A special meeting of this type gives a mother the opportunity to build a bridge of support and knowledge that can be helpful in overcoming the isolation that she may feel as a mother of an older child who continues to nurse.
At Area Conference workshops on the topic of nursing through toddlerhood and beyond, mothers are clearly grateful to finally have a chance to share their experiences and are eager to ask others the questions that they may have had to face alone. As they recognize the commonality of their experiences and concerns they feel relieved. It is reassuring to hear that others have had similar experiences.
Since nursing past infancy is no longer the norm in many cultures and is, in fact, often perceived as abnormal, we as Leaders can benefit by looking beyond our cultures and our time period to gain a more in- depth understanding of what is truly normal and natural human behavior. Katherine Dettwyler, an anthropologist, has drawn attention to this subject through her article, A Time to Wean, (BREASTFEEDING ABSTRACTS, August 1994). Here is part of her answer to the question of the "natural" age of weaning in humans:
According to the research of Smith (1991), many primates wean their offspring when they are erupting their first permanent molars. First permanent molar eruption occurs around 5.5 to 6.0 years in modern humans. It is interesting to note that achievement of adult immune competence in humans also occurs at approximately six years of age, suggesting that throughout our recent evolutionary past, the active immunities provided by breast milk were normally available to the child until about this age (Frederickson).
Our evolutionary past has produced an organism that relies on breastfeeding to provide the context for physical, cognitive and emotional development. The non-human primate data suggest that human children are designed to receive all of the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding for an absolute minimum of two and a half years, and an apparent upper limit of around seven years. Natural selection has favored those infants with a strong, genetically coded blueprint that programs them to expect nursing to continue for a number of years after birth and results in the urge to suckle remaining strong for this entire period.
In her book, Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives, Dettwyler theorizes that the six-year nursing practice for humans began to be modified, first by the use of fire for cooking (one-half to one million years ago) and then even more significantly by the domestication and processing of grains via pounding and grinding, both of which provided alternatives to uncooked vegetation and raw animal foods. It is interesting to note that the hunter/gatherer lifestyle represents more than 99.9 percent of human existence on earth and that agricultural societies have existed for only about the last 10,000 years.
Ethnographic studies of hunter/gatherer and other pre- industrial societies show that while the duration of lactation varies considerably between cultures and between individual children within a culture, the average duration is between three and five years of age. Here are some examples from Wickes' 1953 survey of various tribes: Australian aborigines, two to three years; Greenlanders, three to four years; Hawaiians, five years; Inuit, around seven years.
Lactational duration is just one of many cultural variations in breastfeeding practices. Patricia Stuart-Macadam, writing in Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives, informs us that the !Kung San of the Kalahari desert in Southern Africa breastfeed frequently and intensively, "giving the breast about four times an hour during the day and several times at night for at least the first two years of life." This practice has a significant child-spacing effect with conception occurring on average 35 months postpartum, resulting in a birth interval among the !Kung of almost four years.
Nature's Norm
Such frequent suckling may indeed be nature's norm, reports Sheila Kippley in her book, Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing, as it is true of both chimps and gorillas as well as representative of a number of human cultures living in natural conditions. The Gainj of New Guinea nurse their infants at an average interval of 24 minutes. For their 3-year-olds, the average interval between nursings is 80 minutes. It is interesting to compare these practices to the standard recommendation given to new mothers today of 8 to 12 nursings in a 24-hour period.
In a thought provoking article, "The Concept of Weaning: Definitions and Their Implications" (Journal of Human Lactation, June 1996), Ted Greiner points to research in northern Bangladesh where children who were breastfed at 3-4 years of age received the breast 9-10 times a day and those who were still breastfed at 4-5 years of age received it 7-9 times a day. Greiner comments, "Although the quantity of breast milk was not measured, this sucking frequency can be assumed to maintain a relatively high level of breast milk production (as indeed it does in women who relactate), and should hardly be termed 'token breastfeeding."' We seem to know so little about what is normal nursing behavior for the four- to five-year-old that this cross-cultural information can be very reassuring to a mother who is wondering about her child's nursing behavior.
In her book, MOTHERING YOUR NURSING TODDLER, Norma Jane Bumgarner gives us this glimpse into the history of the decline in breastfeeding duration in English-speaking countries. She reports that according to a study of advice given to mothers by doctors from 1550 to 1900,
It was not until 1800 that most of the popular English writings on child care recommended weaning as young as 12 months. Even in 1725, writers commented with disapproval on nursing four- year-olds, an indication that a significant number of eighteenth century four-year-olds were still receiving love and comfort at their mother's breast. By 1850 most "experts" were recommending weaning by 11 months. At this time it was the nursing two-year-olds seen by child-care advisors who drew official frowns. It is enlightening how closely these changes in recommended patterns of child care parallel other changes in family life that accompanied the Industrial Revolution in England and the United States.
Bumgarner reports these other interesting pieces of history:
In ancient India, influenced by the belief that the longer a child nursed the longer he would live, mothers usually nursed their children as long as possible, often seven or even nine years sometimes. In Tsinghai, China, mothers observed in 1956 were still nursing for several years, five years not being unusual, or until another child was bom. In Inner Mongolia in 1951, children nursed two or three years, nor was it rare that a six- or seven-year-old would want to nurse for a bit of reassurance.
Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich, in The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning, give an interesting glimpse into weaning practices of other cultures. In one account a Sioux mother "came to school at recess to nurse her eight-year-old boy because he had a cold." And they comment "this wasn't a very remarkable occurrence in her culture; the average nursing period among the Sioux, traditionally, was three to five years."
Within Western cultures there have been significant regional differences in breastfeeding practices. While "experts" in England were recommending weaning as early as 12 months in 1800, Gabrielle Palmer notes in her book, The Politics of Breastfeeding, that "in East Lincolnshire women were reported to suckle their children until they were seven or eight years old even in the 1820s."
Though it is clear that the majority of women worldwide and throughout history have nursed their children into toddlerhood and beyond, women who choose to do so today may face an uninformed and frequently critical audience. Therefore many choose to make sure that they limit who sees and who knows, taking greater care as the child grows older. Given this climate it is a highly select group of mothers who nurse their children beyond toddlerhood.
Social Pressures
Because of the social criticism and resulting secrecy, it is hard to get an accurate picture of just how many children are continuing to nurse this long. Often the last nursings to be given up occur in bed and so are hidden from all but those who share the bedroom. It must be difficult even for the anthropologist in a native tribal village to get an accurate picture of when nursing has completely ended.
Older nursing children as well as mothers feel the social pressures. They are often very aware that other people just don't understand. Privacy may be even more important to the child than it is to the mother. Knowing other children their age who are continuing to nurse is helpful. Reading stories about other nursing children also helps to normalize it. Unfortunately these stories are not widely distributed or well known. My daughter has asked me several times to reread stories of older nursing children from HARVEST, Area Leaders' Letter of LLL New York West, USA. She chose to have a weaning party after being inspired by one of those stories.
Given social criticism, people who are unfamiliar with the practice of nursing beyond infancy may wonder why mothers would want to continue to nurse through toddlerhood and beyond. As Leaders we can help mothers answer this question confidently. Mothers find many practical advantages in nursing. As a parenting tool it is useful when easing the exhausted child into sleep or soothing both mother and child after the storm of a tantrum has passed by. During illness, breast milk may be the only food or drink that a child will take or can keep down and digest. It can make the difference between a dehydrated child needing hospitalization and a sick, but well-hydrated, child at home in mother's arms nursing through a potentially serious illness.
Health Benefits
The adverse health effects of weaning a child before or during toddlerhood are well documented for Third World countries such as Guinea-Bissau, where children who were no longer breastfed at ages 12 to 35 months had a 3.5 times higher mortality than did their peers who continued to breastfeed. There is a lack of this type of comparative research between breastfeeding toddlers and preschoolers and their already weaned peers in economically advanced countries. The negative impact of early weaning on children's health is not as dramatically evident but in time it may prove to be significant.
The scientific evidence on extended breastfeeding is just now beginning to accumulate. A number of the health benefits are now being found to be related to the length of nursing with an increasing amount of benefit correlating with increased duration. This is the case, research has indicated, with breastfeeding's protective effect in maternal breast cancer, osteoporosis, childhood ear infections and malocclusion anomalies (misaligned teeth).
Katherine Dettwyler reports that "a wealth of scientific evidence exists documenting that the benefits of breastfeeding (and the risks of artificial feeding) continue for as long as the infant nurses. Aside from the health concerns, there is now evidence that the longer a child breastfeeds, the higher that child's IQ score and school grades will be in later years, with a dose effect evident even beyond two years of nursing."
The word "benefit" is perhaps misleading here, for these "benefits" are what nature intended to be the human norm. Breastfeeding is normal. It is artificial feeding substitutes and premature weaning that are, in fact, abnormal from a biological viewpoint. It is these abnormal practices that place the child at increased risk of illness and compromised intelligence.
For many nursing couples, by the time the child reaches toddlerhood, nursing is a well-established part of their relationship. We can help mothers to feel confident in acknowledging that their breastfeeding relationship is mutually satisfying: highly cherished by the child and often by the mother as well. For mothers it is a mode of giving both nurturance and sustenance. For both mother and child nursing is a momentary retreat from the increasing separateness of their lives, back to the closeness they shared when the two were one.
Nursing through Toddlerhood and Beyond
Special meeting discussion questions
· While it is clear that nursing a child beyond the first 12 months of life is something we have in common with the majority of mothers throughout history, in many cultures we stand out as different. While we have been able to find support, we also may face criticism. How do you feel about this criticism? How do you deal with it?
· We want to meet our child's needs and we want to promote the normalcy and healthfulness of nursing without offending others or becoming a target of criticism. It is a tricky balance to achieve and we each need to find our own comfort level. How do you handle the issue of nursing a toddler in public?
· Sometimes our partners or other close relatives have a different outlook on continued nursing. How do you manage these differences?
· Children can be demanding. At times it may feel that your child's demands to nurse are excessive or inappropriately interrupting your activities. How do you balance your child's needs and wants with your own?
· When we choose to limit nursing or decide to wean completely, how can we help our children handle their feelings of loss?
· The nursing child may be keenly aware that peers or adults disapprove of continued nursing. How can we protect our child from social disapproval and help him/her handle the situation constructively?
· What do you see as the benefits of nursing through toddlerhood and beyond?
An Anthropological Look at Nursing Beyond Toddlerhood
Time Period Who and Where Nursing Duration
Ancient Egypt 3 years
Early 1900s China and Japan 4-5 years
1940s Burma 3-4 years
1950s Kenya up to 5 years
1950s Siniono (Bolivia) 3-5 years
1950s Inuit around 7 years
Chimps/gorillas 5-6 years
Natural Reassurance
When reading a children's book about chimpanzees by Jane Goodall to my then five-year-old daughter, I learned that mother's milk remains a chimp's most important food until about three years of age. The book described Goodall's field observation of a chimpanzee mother named Fifi and her four-year-old daughter Flossi.
"Flossi starts to suckle. She will not be able to do this for many more months. Fifis milk is drying up and she often prevents Flossi from nursing these days. Then Flossi pouts and utters sad crying sounds until Fifi relents and lets her suckle for just a little while. In about a year Fifi will probably have another infant."
Of the hundreds of children's books I have borrowed from the library and read to my daughter, this is the only one that described nursing a four-year-old. As another nursing mother I found myself reassured by both Fifi's and Flossi's behavior. I identified with the mother's ambivalence, at first resistant and irritated at the youngster's demands and yet, in the face of her daughter's grief, relenting and giving in. Perhaps those experts who admonish mothers to be firm and consistent are out of touch with our nature as primates.
Priscilla Young

Ashley - posted on 07/01/2010

This is ridiculous!! Your doctor cant tell you to wean YOUR child. DEF find another one bc he will continue to hinder or contradict your choices in the future. Even if you were bf for you that is YOUR decision. Also there are benefits to nursing your child past a year. Your baby is getting more nutrients. My pediatrician told me only give my baby vitiamins WHEN i stop nursing. there is no reason to do it while nursing bc she was getting everything she needed from nursing. I think this was just your doctors preference bc there are sooo many studies that say its good for the baby. and to each their own. my sister in law bf for 2.5 years. I actually just stopped at 14 months but its mostly bc she self weaned. i think you should just let Peyton lead the way and if this is that tramatic for him i say to keep going... nighttime nursing is the hardest to stop. and you dnt want to do it cold turkey. if your really ready to wean, id suggest doing 4 nights nursing, 3 nights with a bottle. like every other day. and just rotate with a bottle so he can get used to the transition. also for support i would look into a local Le Leche League. http://www.llli.org/ :)

Vanja - posted on 07/01/2010

Hi,
Just to start I will say that I just weaned my daughter off on her 4th birthday and still b/feeding my son who is turning 2 soon... I hava a female doctor who is pro-breastfeeding and also our maternal and health nurse... I would say change the doctor (don't change the husband :-))) and continue breastfeeding as long as you and your son are comfortable doing it !!!

Erin - posted on 07/01/2010

Only two people really know when it's the right time to wean...you, and your son! I had planned on weaning by age 1, but it turns out both my son and I had different plans. I think children know when they are ready to be done breastfeeding, and as long as you still enjoy it and it's not interfering with your own health, I say keep on keeping on! But if you feel uncomfortable with your doctor, now is the time to make a change...are you with a practice with multiple docs? Perhaps you could request a different doctor for the next check-up. I do find that women docs, especially moms, understand a mother better....just because they've been where you are. Good luck!!

Margaret - posted on 07/01/2010

Breastfeed and don't bother telling your pediatrician. Let you son wean when he's ready. Even if he's breastfeeding for comfort, if you both enjoy it, why stop? He's still getting immunity boosts from your milk. Go for it as long as you want to and keep it an intimate and private thing between you and him! I found many medical professionals were against breastfeeding (our neonatologist actually asked me if I was using it as birth control!) but the lactation specialists at the hospital (and in my family) gave me a lot more vital information -- including and especially the immunity boost -- instead of using social reasons to guilt me into weaning. I breast fed my twins until they were past 3 and weaned themselves on a camping trip. Do what feels right for you!

Constance - posted on 07/01/2010

I wouldn't necessary opt to getting a new doctor but I would definitely have a conversation with him and let him know how I'm feeling. As far as BF'ing I've been nursing for 13 months now and my little lady doesn't show any signs of slowing down. I've wanted to stop because I tired of pumping but when we have a nursing sessions I have a change of heart because I know I'm doing what is best for her. When she turned 1 I started introducing cow's milk mixed with her breastmilk two bottles while she was at daycare and she got the WORST cold after about a week i ex'd the cow's milk and went back to only breastmilk and she begun getting better almost instantly so in my mind breastmilk still has it's benefits.

Len - posted on 07/01/2010

There was an interesting website I ran across written by a PhD about weaning and the cultural aspect and how long other primates nurse for. I know it's a little rough to compare us to a chimp but we are very similar. Here is the website http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.ht...
Print the article and take in to your Dr to help "inform" him.

Ann - posted on 07/01/2010

He doesn't know what he's talking about. Stupid doctor.

Venessa - posted on 07/01/2010

If neither you nor your child is ready to stop then don't. I planned to breastfeed until 30 months ... my son weened himself at 14 months ..... once either you or your child are ready to stop it will work... it wont be a battle.... Good luck .... and well done BF as lomg as you have it's awesome

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

That is so sad that doctors are still peddling this outdated misinformation. If you think he's a good enough doc that you want to keep going there, maybe you could ask him to find you some research (and that means a peer-reviewed paper, published in a scientific journal, within the last ten years) that says that breastfeeding past one year old has no health benefits and/or is bad for babies. If he can, then you can decide whether you need to wean. But I'm pretty sure no-one who's looked into it has ever found breastfeeding is bad for toddlers! If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up in person, maybe write him a letter. It's his job to keep himself educated, so you would be just making him do his job!

As for the night weaning, if it's not working for you and your child, you don't have to do it. It amazes me that people understand toddlers might not be ready to toilet train at two, but insist that they must be weaned before then or "they'll be nursing forever!" Nope, they'll nurse until they're ready to stop, then they'll stop. Don't stress, just do what feels right.



To the person who said that there are no proven health benefits past two years - that's just because there are so few toddlers breastfed past 2 that it is difficult to do controlled studies. It doesn't mean that breastmilk magically loses all its nutritional value and immune benefits on the child's 2nd birthday.



And to the person who said 'some mums BF for themselves' - yeah, I totally BF for myself. I don't want to pay for formula, I don't want to lug sterile bottles around, I don't want to deal with a sick baby more often, I don't want to inflict 'sleep training' on my baby or myself or my husband, I don't want to stress about whether she's eating enough when she decides she doesn't like dinner. BFing is great for both of us!

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2010

I would change doctors too!!!! I have heard pediatricians say not to after a year, and I have heard pediatricians say their children were older when they stopped.... Your son obviously needs a new comfort routine for bedtime so he can fall asleep

Cassandra - posted on 06/30/2010

I don't blame you for wanting a new pediatrician. It would probably be a good idea for you to find one with views closer to your when it comes to major things like that. Nurse as long as you both want. My son is almost 17 months and nurses twice a day, more often when he doesn't feel well. I'm still not sure when or how he will wean. Every time I think about weaning him he seems to sense it and begs to nurse a lot more for a few days. I can't deny my baby boy his ninny.

Natalie - posted on 06/30/2010

It's a very emotional issue. I'm an advocate for extended breastfeeding, based more on condtioning than anything. I was BF until 2 1/2 in the late 70's and my younger siblings were BF for at least as long. My youngest is 32 months and still going strong. He "loves to share my boobies" when I come home from work, at bed time, and whenever he needs comfort. It is amazingly beneficial when you little one gets a cold, is teething, etc. and won't eat regular food. And all the antibodies and blah, blah. But most importantly, it is part of your connection to your child. Weaning when you and he aren't ready can damage your relationship and cause guilt. I'm not saying it will for everyone, but I know enough people who regret weaning too soon and feel it hurt their children's development and the trust relationship. Do what is best for you and your son. If you're not comfortable weaning, don't. Wait and try again when you feel like he's ready. Be prepared to have days where he does nothing but nurse and days when he wants nothing to do with you. They're this little for such a short time.

Mindy - posted on 06/30/2010

I nursed my first till he was 19 months old and I found out I was pregnant with my second and then I nursed my second son till he was 30 months. It's completely your choice and babies choice. I let both my kids decide when they were ready to wean.

Colleen - posted on 06/30/2010

My little guy is 25 months with no sign of weaning. I have a a lot of family resistance and would be really upset if my pediatrician did not back me up! Honestly, I am ready to wean as soon as he is ready! Until then I will tend to his needs. Obviously it's what he needs emotionally right now. Follow your gut on this one :)

Rachael - posted on 06/30/2010

Also, I would like to add that, while I agree with those who say you shouldn't drop him just because you have one thing you disagree on, the reason I think you should drop him is because 1. he incinuated that you are doing it for your own pleasure, and that's NOT ok for a doctor to do, and 2. he lied to you about there being no health benefits. As a young doctor who went to school well after these benefits were discovered, he knows VERY WELL that's not true, and it is NOT ok for your doctor to lie based on his own beliefs.

Rachael - posted on 06/30/2010

First of all, "no health benefits past a year" is a big load of crap! Actually, the health benefits are still there well beyond toddlerhood, but it is recommended to breastfeed until 2 years of age (in the US - it's usually longer in most other countries). You need to find yourself a new pedi, and in my experience, a doctor over the age of 50 (male or female) is the way to go when it comes to a pediatrician, especially if they have had children themselves!

Btw, for what it's worth, I envy you. I was hoping to go until my son reached 2 years, but I had to supplement for medical reasons (little man was VERY underweight and not gaining) at 7 months, and he decided that he was done breastfeeding althogether at 9 months, so I had no control over it.

You'll find that most doctors, especially older ones, will support your decision to continue, as long as he's healthy. That doctor clearly missed the class on breastfeeding benefits when he was in med school!

Bec - posted on 06/30/2010

get a new doctor and tell your husband that his sole purpose in life is to support you, not your doctor; if he feels more inclined to support your doctor regardless of your wishes ask him if maybe he'd like to marry him instead of you.

bet of luck and lots of mama love
x

Keira - posted on 06/30/2010

I think you said it all... Married with no kids! It is so wrong for a health professional to ask if you are nursing for "yourself"... remind him that the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until the age of TWO. You and your child are the two best deciders of when to wean. Re; "There is no health benefit".... Hmmm- well, is formula/ milk any better? I think it is a part of you & your child's routine and there are calories & nutrients, plus the comfort factor. It is also inexpensive and convenient. Ask yourself- are you ready to wean? Is your littlie? When you answer yes to these questions- then it is time!

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

I saw wean until YOU AND HIM are ready to stop. NOONE (well hubby agreed eventually) but noone really supported me. I nursed my daughter until 2 and they was forced to wean for health reasons(I had already combated them for 2 years), anyways I have had doctors tell me im killing my child, killing myself, no benifits....blah blah blah.

I regret to this day weaning her. She did NOT handle it well, and we STILL had attitude problems from it. I suggest doing what you and the baby are comfortable for b/c its what is most important.

FYI I just stopped telling doctors after awhile b/c they dont get it.

Aideen - posted on 06/30/2010

Quote WHO at him and all the research proving otherwise!!! OMG. I don't think I could trust a doctor who was so ill-informed and still offering his opinion. I think trust in your doc is the most important thing....you need to believe he has read his research on whatever topic comes up or at least that he is aware of his ignorance on some issues and is willing and able to find out!What else doen't he have accurate information on? Yikes. I think I'd be looking at changing doctor...check out the alternatives and change if you're happy with another.
On the other hand it might not be a bad thing to not fully trust the doc. I've heard so many stories of people having too much trust in them an not questioning enough...we cannot presume they know best!!!

Our doctor makes no comments on our 16mth old still breastfeeding. I don't think it would be his place to, regardless of his opinion! You are a wonderfl mom...go with your instincts! They can be trusted! :)

Lea-Andra - posted on 06/30/2010

You do what you want and what you feel is right. That's what I think.

Kristen - posted on 06/30/2010

I think that it was a little abrasive for the pediatrician to ask if you were doing it for your son or for you. However, as a mom who breastfed for a year, I don't see a point to breasfeeding for much more than a year anyway. I'm not really sure if you're sort of passing on your unhappiness about weaning to your son or not, because weanign was seriously no big deal for me and my son. In fact it was totally startling for me that he never whined or cried for me to nurse - he was perfectly happy going to food. Now bedtime was another issue....but that was a battle in and of itself.

Of course its hard when you're using it as a bedtime routine, but truly its not in his interest for nursing to be his bedtime routine. He needs to learn regardless of nursing how to go to sleep on his own. I can understand it being jarring for someone like your peds to point blank say you should be weaning at this point, but I really don't think its something that you NEED to change docs over unless you're just that uncomfortable. I know in this day and age its sort of "off with their heads!!" to anyone who tells a mom to wean, but more than a year its really debateable how beneficial from a health standpoint nursing is. Considering very few kids are breastfed even after a few months, I really don't think you're giving your son a super boost or anything to be nursing him at 17 months. I'm sorry that your doctor sort of put you on the spot like that, but truthfully it will be ok and know that your son will not be angry with you later on for weaning him at this point.

Joette - posted on 06/30/2010

I breastfed my daughter for 3 years and 2 months and am expecting my second which I plan to nurse equally as long. There ARE many benefits to your son after one year.Your doctor sounds poorly informed. I would not wean until you and your son are ready.Truthfully looking back I wish I would have nursed my daughter longer! I had alot of negative response to nursing at that age but I am her mother and I know what is best for me and my child and I am also blessed to have my partners full support. Hopefully yours will jump on board.Trust your instincts as a mother.Babies are born to breastfeed!

Danielle - posted on 06/30/2010

I would find someone else. As long as it's not hurting your son, what difference does it make? That Dr is far too opinionated. There are plenty of women who nurse much longer than that. Sure, there may be no HEALTH benefit. But what about the other benefits? It COMFORTS your child. I would find another dr for sure. SOmeone who supports bfing. The nerve of him to tell you that. You and your son are not hurting anyone.

Francine - posted on 06/30/2010

I breastfed until my first son was 18 months when he self weaned but i would have gone on for longer and plan to with my 3 month old.
The World Health Organization now recommends children be breastfed for at least 2 years.
Personally I'd feel too uncomfortable with that Dr. He sounds a bit ignorant and a little bit pervy to make a comment like that. You need to do what is best for you and your child, not what some silly man says. :)

Heather - posted on 06/30/2010

get a new dr and contact le leache league about how ur son is benefiting from breastfeeding...there are benefits to toddler breastfeeding. They are still getting antibodies from the breastmilk. Unfortunatlely ur dr is wrong and is a jerk in my book. REsume breastfeeding if you can, your baby needs your milk above any other milk. You totally sound like u are not ready to wean and neither is your son. The only people that can say its time to wean is you and your child. NO ONE ELSE not even your husband, parents, ect. Get a new dr. My son is on his second dr as well. And just so u feel better, I breastfeed my 15 month old at least 4 times a day and during the night. Every child is different....let your baby breastfeed as long as he and you want to continue. Tell everyone else to SHUT UP

Rebecca - posted on 06/30/2010

So not your doctor's decision! The WHO recommends breast feeding at least 2 years, and many cultures do it beyond. My daughter will be 2 on July 11, and we're still nursing 2-3 times a day. She always initiates, and as long as she wants to continue (with in reason, of course...) we will continue. There are tons of studies out there that show the benefits of long-term breast feeding. Follow your heart and make the decision that's best for you and your son. If your doctor can't support this, then it's time to find a new doctor. Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 06/30/2010

Without reading anyone else's comments I will just tell you that your pediatrician overstepped his boundaries. As long as you are willing to continue BFing and your son is thriving, there is no need to wean him until you are both ready. My kids weaned themselves around 16 months, and I am still BFing my 8 month old son. You are the mother and you know what is best for you and your child. If you are uncomfortable with this doctor, I would switch. The first pediatrician we had used to be of the opinion that you had to let your baby cry it out to sleep and BF for only a year if that--that was up until he had children of his own and then he said he completely changed his opinion. This doctor doesn't have the experience from which to draw--he is not a parent and knows only from what he's learned. Do what you feel is right for you and your family.
Best of luck!

Sarah - posted on 06/30/2010

My son is almost three and a half and still nurses once a day before bed...we also had a pediatrician tell us to wean cold turkey when he was one (it's struck me as odd that he had about four different formula samples in his waiting room) Some doctors just are not up to date with what's best....nothing is better than breastmilk. Children don't have full immunity until around SIX YEARS OLD so extended breastfeeding is good long after babyhood. I also have a 15 month old daughter who nurses constantly and it's fine with me