My thriving breastfed 3 month old will not fall asleep unless she is in my arms....now she is even waking up every two hours at night and will not go back to her crib. So I have to sit up feed her and try and sleep at night...please help if you have any ideas!!

Jes - posted on 11/20/2008

I am a big fan of cosleeping and nursing laying down too. Of course do not do this if you or your husband are not comfortable with the baby being in bed with you. it really helped mt 3 month old to sleep longer and nurse left when I put her in our bed.

Nicole - posted on 11/20/2008

My son started waking every 1.5-2 hours through the night at 6mo. and being a full-time working mom, although from home, I almost went nuts. So per the advice of my OBGYN we started co-sleeping/bed-sharing. My son is 23 mo., we're doing child-led weaning and are still bed-sharing, we love it. I highly recommend it so you can sleep and your babe can nurse. We miss having our bed to ourselves, but we just meet in our office for date night. We figure this time will be over before we know it so we are just doing what is best for us all and enjoying the time. We have another on the way and if my son won't consider moving to the race car bed we have for him at the end of our bed then we may be doing the family bed concept.

Karen - posted on 11/20/2008

All I can say is I feel for you. BEEN THERE! It was really really bad until he was 5 months old; we did cosleep and side-lying nurse b/c it was the only rest I could get. It got to the point where he would ONLY sleep if my nipple was in his mouth. Then at 6 mos we "cried it out" and transitioned to the crib. My son is 10 months old and started sleeping through the night at 8 mos (not the fabled 2 months of those stupid baby books!) and I feel like a new woman. It might not help to hear right now, but as the others have said, this too will pass and eventually you will get your sanity back. Everyone else had good ideas... try whatever you can, but ultimately all babies are different.

Emily - posted on 11/20/2008

I'd figure out the side-lying nursing position so you can nurse lying down. Also, if she's got gas or something she may prefer to be more vertical, so consider getting a wedge to put under her crib mattress to elevate her head a bit.

Personally, we love co-sleeping with our kids and still allow our 2 and 3 year olds to come to our room in the middle of the night (they both start the night in their own room). The 3 year old only comes in about once a week now... if she's had a bad dream or something. It's so much easier to handle the nighttime parenting if you don't have to get out of bed. :)

Michelle - posted on 11/20/2008

My son went through the same thing. I would nurse him lying in bed with him on my chest and then he would fall asleep in my arms and I would sleep with him in my arms or laying on my chest. People told me that I shouldn't do it b/c he could suffocate or I could roll on to him. But I was just cautious and a light sleeper. But it was what was working at the time. And I loved the closeness. I did still try to put him in his bed but it became a battle some nights.

I also put a cd player in his room and play lullabies softly so he hears the music when he wakes up and it is comforting to them.

And I know it sounds cruel but we did let my son cry for 5-15 minutes then he would go right back to sleep. He wouldn't wail but just fuss and cry. Good Luck, you have the inner strength to make it through. Just believe in yourself.

Daphne - posted on 11/20/2008

Both my children started sleeping through the night (8hrs) by 6 weeks, because we put them in bed sleepy, but not sleeping. The same routine every night. They learn that crib or whatever means night time. This made my daughter's transition to her big bed a breeze, because we had a routine and she knew how to fall asleep herself.

Briana - posted on 11/20/2008

What I did when I was in this situation was to take her to bed with me to nurse. This way I could fall asleep while nursing. If I was still awake when she finished feeding and fell asleep I would put her in her bassinet. If I fell asleep she was just fine laying next to me until I woke up after which i would put her in her bassinet.

Melissa - posted on 11/20/2008

I was in the same boat as you when my son was 2 months old. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old also so being up literally the whole night just wasn't an option anymore unless absolutely necessary. My doctor said that he definitely does not need to eat that often...the 8-12 times a day is for less than 2 months. 2-4 month olds only need to eat 6-8 times a day, unless of course they are not thriving (definitely not a problem with my son). In addition, my doctor pointed out that if he could go longer between feedings that he would be getting "better" milk, i.e., more hindmilk and thus more satisfied (so 30 oz of milk fed 6-8 times a day is more filling than 30 oz fed 8-12 times a day). The other key is trying to get them into the crib before they are actually very sleepy. If they are overtired, they will want your comfort to go to sleep. It took a few nights, and I went into his room every 10 minutes or so, picked him up until he was calm again and put him back in. After about an hour and a half, he put himself to sleep. The doctor also said that if you don't give him a chance, how do you expect him to do it....1 or 2 minutes is not a chance, but 10 is about right (from my ped and also from a book that I love for being very level-headed...). Hope this helps. After about 5 days, my son started sleeping from 8 to 3 and now he's sleeping until 6:00!! All he needed was me to "let go"!!

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2008

My 10 wk old son was the same way. He'd fall asleep in my arms and I'd try to lay him in his crib and then he'd wake up crying 5 mins later. I used to go get him and we'd be up all night, nursing and me sleeping sitting up or laying on the couch. Last week I finally decided that he was fine but mad b/c he was full, had a clean diaper and was warm. The first night he cried for about 15 mins and then slept 6 hrs straight. The next night it was 10 mins of crying then he slept for 6 hrs straight in his crib. The next night he only whined and whimpered a little when I layed him in his crib and he slept 6 hours. The key is to make sure he is full full full! He cluster nurses until I put him down so his belly is nice and full.

Emily - posted on 11/19/2008

Pick up and read The Baby Whisperer. I haven't had to use any of her techniques dealing with sleep (thank goodness), but I've read her advice on issues exactly like this and it seems the most humane way to deal with it - whether or not it's successful, I'm not sure. Good Luck!

Melissa - posted on 11/19/2008

Swaddle, Swaddle And swaddle some more They think they are in your arms. Also, Co-sleep for awhile....It is rewarding for you and your baby. I am expecting my fourth and I can assure you my other three children, 6, 4 &2 all sleep in their own beds and go to sleep at 8pm...co-sleeping for the first few months does not necessarily cause bad habits... Good Luck!

Nancy - posted on 11/19/2008

WEll, for me co-sleeping and nursing in the side-lying position was a godsend at night with my babies. For us, everyone rested better!

Terry - posted on 11/19/2008

Try nursing in bed, both of you might get more sleep.

Tegan - posted on 11/19/2008

My son was delivered 7 weeks early so breast feeding was a definate challenge from the get go. He spent a month in the NICU so I was seperated from him a lot. I worked my butt off trying to keep my milk supply going. I pumped every 2 hours even though he was too tiny to eat. Now he is 6 months old and I have been very successful with nursing. He has had issues with reflux and didn't want to sleep in his bed or be put down for that matter. We finally discovered that putting him in his swing at night really helped. It helped his reflux which allowed him to sleep for at least 3hours at a time. He never really liked being swaddled tight and because he was tiny he always felt scared in his bed in those first early months. We tried co-sleeping, side sleeping, cribs, bassinets, bouncy seats, you name it, we tried it. The swing has been the only thing to work, unless I wanted to drive around all night:) He sleeps on his belly now that he is strong and he loves it. Perhaps your child will be a belly sleeper as well. Remember, babies at 3 months still need to eat a lot. My son decided that he exclusively wanted to nurse, so bottles from dad have been out of the question. I sympathize with you. I think breast feeding is the hardest thing I have ever done. O would ask your Dr about reflux. It is very common for babies to have this and a sympton of it is constantly wanting to nurse. Hope this helps. Once we figured out that this was the problem, it really helped us:)

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2008

I know it is hard when you want and need sleep to get up a nurse. There are a lot of good suggestions so far. My son is a year old and is just starting to skip his middle of the night feeding. Although, tonight he didn't. My doctor said breastfeeding babies may need a middle of the night feed up to a year. I find it easier to nurse right before I go to bed and make sure my has not fallen asleep nursing. This way I am not just a pacifier. I also try not to wake him up too much in the middle of the night. I don't turn on any lights or change him. I nurse and put him back to bed.
When he was still small enough I had him in a pack 'n' play by the bed so I was not up as much. This helped to keep me more asleep.
You might want to check to make sure she is not getting to cold at night. With the weather change sometimes we forget the babies can not regulate there bodies as well as we can.

Heather - posted on 11/19/2008

If the baby is only three months old, she still needs 8-12 feedings in 24 hours, that is once every 2-3 hours. So, it sounds like her pattern, though not ideal, is normal. I'm surprised to hear someone else say that her doctor said to let the baby cry it out. That is very stressful because they have no understanding of what is happening, just that they are hungry and alone. Also, pumping earlier in the day and allowing someone to feed a bottle at night will decrease your milk supply. Your body makes the most milk in the middle of the night.



To extend that first stretch of sleep, usually the longest, try cluster feeding in the evening. As you are having dinner, watching TV, whatever, just hold her and nurse her every 45 minutes or so for as long as she'll do it. This will get her about as full as she can possibly get. Since the longest stretch of sleep is usually no more than five hours at that age and shouldn't be any longer, it is probably best to keep up the cluster nursing until you are ready to go to bed. That way, you'll be asleep that entire time. So, you'll get five hours or so straight. If she nurses again two hours later, you're up to about 7 hours total sleep for the night and you could stil go back and sleep another two probably before she is up for the day. So, you would get a total of 9 hours of sleep with only two interruptions.



It may also be easier if the baby is closer to you. I hated walking back and forth to the crib and found a co-sleeper to work much better, so I could get more sleep.

Nadia - posted on 11/18/2008

Ive had three kids and one thing I learnt early on from a book I read was put your kids to bed awake. That way they get used to being in their bed and dont get a fright if they wake up and dont see you. Also dont wait till they are crying to put them to bed as they are generally overtired by this stage, and so are overstimulated. If you set a good day routine, there sleep times will be at much the same each day, so if it is that time, just put them to bed. My little girl is now four months old, but at three months old her routine was breast feed and wake time for about an hour, then a sleep for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. This repeated throughout the day till her last feed at about 7pm. Then she was put to bed, woken up at 10pm for a feed (in a dark room, no talking!) then back to bed till about 6am. Doesnt work every time but once the routine is established is great! Hope it helps. p.s got my info from a book called Babywise - works everytime.

Catherine - posted on 11/18/2008

It could be a growth spurt for sure. Especially if she was sleeping better a couple of weeks ago. Lots of moms in my moms group suffered through this, and eventually they all did some form of crying it out. Starting around 3 months was when we worked on getting my daughter to learn to put herself to sleep. It was about 3 days of misery listening to her cry But here's what I did: rock her alittle (1-2 minutes) after being swaddled up, put her down drowsy but awake. Let her cry for 20 minutes, then go pick her up calm her down, and then put her down, go for another 20 minutes... till she fell asleep. If during the 20 minutes she quieted and then started crying again-we'd start the timer over. For the frequent waking at night, you can try this, and just know it's going to be hard the first week. You're already sleep deprived. Some moms in my mom's group would let babes cry it out for up to 2 hours. Within a day or so, they were sleeping better at night. Another thought... instead of feeding her for some of those late night awakenings, what if you offered a pacifier?

Jordan - posted on 11/18/2008

my son is 6 months old, and i just went to the dr with him, and she said that by this time they should be sleeping 6-8 hours a night. with no feedings. that you just have to let them cry it out, and they will get used to the idea. its been really hard the last couple days, cuz i fed him everytime him everytime he woke up to get him back to sleep, and i too laid down so that i could sleep too. but apparently that is not the right thing to do, by the dr that is. so i was told to just let them cry it out.

Bethany - posted on 11/18/2008

My baby girl is up all night to nurse, she's 6 months old. I nurse laying down which helps a lot because then I doze off. I don't have a problem sharing my bed with her so it doesn't bother me. It also helps to tell myself that even though it seems like I will never sleep again and I think I'm going to die, really, they're only this tiny for such a short time and she will sleep longer eventually. She doesn't know that you want to sleep, she just wants to hang out with you!

Lorilynne - posted on 11/18/2008

My daughter did this when she was the same age and eventually I had to just let her cry it out. She would be sound asleep and as soon as I put her down she would start crying, I knew she wasn't hungry because she was the one ending the feeding sessions and I couldn't hold her in bed all night long. I know not all parents can do the crying it out thing and it was hard for me but it worked like a charm. I fortunately only had to do it one night and from then on, whenever I put her in bed she was fine. I'm at that point with my son right now but he's really good and falls asleep on his own as long as I put him down at the same time every night. Also, make sure that she really is hungry. She may just want soothing and hasn't figured out how to do it on her own. If you haven't tried a pacifier yet, its ok to introduce one because breastfeeding is already well established. I only let my daughter use the pacifier until she could coordinate her hands to her mouth and soothe herself because I didn't want her to get too attached to the paci. My doctor told me that if she stops crying when you pick her up then she isn't hungry, it must be something else. And don't forget, she could be going through a growth spurt. When that happens, they feed almost constantly and sleep less than normal. Oh and also, if she's falling asleep at the breast, she may not be full and that is why she wakes up so frequently. If my son falls asleep while he's feeding, I just let him sleep on my lap for a bit and he usually wakes up about 10 minutes later to finish up the feeding.

Sharon - posted on 11/18/2008

Hi, i have a 3 month old boy and he was the same, what i did was the last feed of the night, he stays up for 10 minutes then i wrap in tight in a wrap and i put him down in his bassinet, he may grizzle for a little while but he puts himself off too sleep. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 2 months. Last feed is 8.30pm and he is in bed by 20 past 9 and he is usually asleep by 9.35pm. Just remember wrap her tight and let her grizzle and whinge for a awhile.

Emily - posted on 11/18/2008

My son would wake a lot at night to breastfeed. It seemed sometimes like I was nursing all night long. She may just be having a growth spurt and needs to eat more. Have you tried to nurse laying down? I do and that way I can fall back asleep.



p.s. it helps to put a pillow behind your back when nursing laying down... hope this helps. :)

Nicky - posted on 11/18/2008

that way u can get some sleep

Nicky - posted on 11/18/2008

do u have a brest pump maybe u should pump at night and take turns with your husben