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need help with managing toddler while im breastfeeding new baby

Ashley - posted on 06/11/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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im having issues with my toddler acting up while im breastfeeding the new baby. Ive tried to spend a lot of time with her prior to feeding the baby but then she is more upset when I have to feed the baby. Ive tried to involve her with the breastfeeding but that doesnt hold her attention very long either. I give her lots of attention afterwards but then she doesnt want me to do anything with her. i just need ideas of things to try with her. If anyone has any experience with this I would appreciate suggestions.

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Angie - posted on 06/12/2010

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46

You have 2 hands right? Not meaning to be sarcastic in any way shape or form but with my #3 I had a particularly demanding 3 y/o son who I would sit beside me and cuddle whilst reading a book. I think it should be made a time for not just you and your baby but also for your toddler too. Let her come up to find out whats going on. I know with my 1st child while b/feeding my 2nd, (and this will probably make you guys laugh so bear with me) she would get a dolly, sit beside me and lift her top up and pretend to be breastfeeding her dolly. When asking what she was doing she said "Mum I'm feeding my baby like you!" She was 2 at the time and we had lots of fun together. Include her in every aspect you can of the babies daily routine because I feel she might be jealous of the attention you HAVE to give to the new baby which she will not understand at her age after having mummy for so long then to lose mummy to this screaming tiny person.

April - posted on 06/12/2010

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i'm hoping to avoid that situation by tandem nursing, if i am blessed with the opportunity to do so!



ideas: maybe you can get her a breastfeeding doll and she can nurse with you? maybe make a big deal out of her being a "big girl"...make a big deal that the baby can't do it but she can? i can't think of an activity off the top of my head, but whatever it is tell her that the baby isn't allowed and only she is allowed because she's a big girl?

Hannah - posted on 06/12/2010

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I was lucky as my toddler took it all in her stride, and just got on with her own thing and just ignored the new baby for a while!

But I did give her lots of praise and treats saying 'thank you for being good and waiting for me to finish feeding the baby', I think just this repetition reinforces the good behaviour and is the most effective thing I have come across.

And now it's almost a year later and lovely watching them play together more and more each day, so there is that to look forward to one day, Good Luck!

Vanessa - posted on 06/11/2010

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When I had # 3 my 2nd child was 3. Some of the time she would just play and it was fine but when she was not fine I could put on a tv show for her or sit her down with a snack while I fed baby. I'd also set her up with crayons & paper & keep her busy with some sort of activity that she didn't need help with. Sounds like yours is jealous and maybe looking for attention? Maybe reading some books about new babies and talking about her feelings? Good luck, it will get better with time!

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