Need some support/encouragement

Lydia - posted on 01/12/2011

i don't know who ever came up with tis term human pacifier, it sounds so terrible.. like you're a piece of rubber that when the baby doesn't want it anymore he just spits it out into the dirt. the truth is as his mother you are his biggest and best comforter and no pacifier could ever do as great a job as you do. i do understand your frustration it's hard to nurse through those times... but the prolactin level (the "milk making hormon") is higher during the night than during the day, so especially in the early months when milk production is still more hormon driven it is natural to have very frequent night feedings. if you have the impression that his day-night rhythm is mixed up try to establish two different atmospheres - one for day with lots of light (open the curtains) and talking and singing and one for the night with only dimmed lights, not much and only quiet talking... that should help him get day and night sorted out. bright light actually can wake the baby really up and make it harder for him to go back to sleep and for you also...
you can also try to co-sleep and nurse him lying down - so you actually get sleep during the nursing too which is especially nice if he nurses long times. also when my daughter was doing this i tried to nurse her as soon as i heard her i didn't wait and until she was crying hard and wide awake - this way she went right back to sleep usually after 10 minutes max. if you don't want to have him in your bed than you could put his crib right next to your bed, so he still sleeps in his own bed but you have easier access to feeding him (i opened one side of the crib and attached it to our bed as an extension so i can just roll over)... as soon as the night feeding will be less frequent you could transition him back to his own sleep place if that is important to you at this stage...

Diane - posted on 01/12/2011

Every 2 hours is supposed to be a guidelline not a schedule, babies should nurse on demand, if they want to nurse again before the 2 hour mark it is because they are hungry again and making them wait will only result in frustration on both sides, remember, pacifiers are meant to mimick mother's nipples and babies really need mom for comfort so it's okay (and normal) to nurse whenever he wants night and day even if that is very often.

Lauren - posted on 01/11/2011

This is totally normal, although I totally get your frustration. My oldest was an every-hour baby for months and months. I did find that with both girls, their nighttime rest got better around 12 weeks, so I was finally getting a bigger chunk that I so desperately needed. Co-sleeping helped so much when they were nursing constantly like that.

It does get better! It will improve! I know it's sooo hard especially when you're so tired. Hang in there.

Rachael - posted on 01/11/2011

Hang in there, Mommy - you're doing great. To be honest you can probably expect this to continue for another month or so but every baby is different. One thing you could do is to try to increase your milk supply. Kellymom.com has a lot of very useful ideas on how to do this. This is the hardest part of having a baby (the lack of sleep) but baby will start to eat more and sleep longer SOON. And then all the cuteness will kick in! :) Keep up the good work on giving your baby what is best for him.
P.S. My DS refused a pacifier also (other than me) and found his thumb at about 4 months and at 2, he still sucks it.

Kristin - posted on 01/11/2011

My daughter breastfed every 11/2 to 2 1/2 hours for the first 3 months of her life. I felt like an absolute zombie those first three months, almost like she was attached to me 24 hours a day. Just a little over 3 months she started sleeping 6 hours or so at night and at about the same time the day feeds slowed to every 2-3 hours. She didn't really sleep through the night and consistently slow down to 3-4 hour feeds until almost 6 months old.

Michelle - posted on 01/11/2011

I wish there was a method or something that someone had to say you can do this and he'll sleep...but unfortunately this is why a lot of women stop BF, At 2 months he is totally normal nursing so much and it's rough! but you can do it!! I co slept with my daughter until she was about 5 months because it wasn't until she was about 5 months when she would sleep through the whole night and even then she sometimes woke up once or twice. This is that hard time that everyone talks about but just remember "IT WILL GET BETTER!" and "You will Eventually Sleep again!" you just have to get through these first few months. You're doing good, you're at 2 months just keep at it and eventually he'll sleep and each feeding will come easier.

Jessica - posted on 01/11/2011

Every child is different, but in my experience with my LOs, as they age, they space out their feedings more, unless they are about to hit a growth spurt. Hang in there, the night nursings don't last forever. *hug*

Jo - posted on 01/10/2011

It's totally normal for a baby to breast feed every two hours. In fact, when mine were that age they were doing it every 45 minutes. Mine carried on doing it every 2 hours till they were around 2 years old, then it lessened to a few times a day. Now my 3 year, 7 month old son only asks a couple of times a day and only for a few seconds each time. That is the nature of breast feeding and it's all perfectly normal. Longer gaps only occur with formula feeding because the milk is too fatty as it is designed for a calf, but this also contributes to childhood obesity, diabetes etc.

Jessica - posted on 01/10/2011

I know how you feel. My son was the same way. It lasted until I started giving him solids. It seems like forever, but it will go by fast. Make some bottles and get some sleep. Let your husband get up for a night. Wake up in the morning and pump, cause you will be very very full. Then save that milk for another brake. That's what I did whenever my husband had the next day off. It was the break I needed to keep from going insane.

Kara - posted on 01/09/2011

My 17 week old (4 1/2 months) still eats every 2-3 hours. Some nights he's literally up every half an hour. I've found it really hard because my first boy was a GREAT sleeper (but still ate ever 2-3 hours during the day). I think that maybe because baby boy #2 is bigger that boy #1 (almost a full pound) that maybe he's needing a few more calories. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that at least I'm burning more calories the more he eats ;) If the sleep is really hard you could always try tucking him in with you (as safely as possible) so that you can feed him and rest at the same time. The other option would be to pump and bottle and nicely ask hubby (or someone else) to do a night feeding or two. Hang in there it really only is temporary.

Heather - posted on 01/09/2011

Make sure he is getting your HIND MilK your breast milk comes in two forms. Fore milk and Hind milk. The first half is the fore milk which has all of the vitamins and nutrients. The second half has the filling fat. So, if he isn't at the breast long enough to get full of of the hind milk he will want to nurse more frequently.

Rhianna - posted on 01/09/2011

Thank you everyone. Its good to know this is normal and temporary!

Lisa - posted on 01/08/2011

at two months you should be getting out of the "never have time to do anything but nurse" phase. Just make sure you are eating enough healthy calories to pass on in your milk. I've found that if I rarely eat, or don't eat anything fattening, then the baby gets hungry faster. I don't want to say "eat ice cream" because that's not what I'm saying, but when I did eat ice cream, he slept so much better. I think it was just because of the higher fat content. Everything you eat goes right into the milk. So steer clear of caffeine or chocolate at this age, it will make your baby fussy, sleep lighter, and want to nurse more often.
It will end, and you will miss it. maybe not the sleepless nights or the sore nipples, but you will miss the sweet baby. Don't try to do too much right now, just relax and enjoy your baby. Pretty soon he will be crawling and getting into everything!

Rachelle - posted on 01/07/2011

Maybe BF for a longer about of time so the time between when he is sleeping will be longer. Good luck.

Candice - posted on 01/07/2011

At this age just go with it! It's totally ok for that to happen.Make sure you have a babywearing device and leave parked on you. :D I cosleep shirtless so I just move so I don't have to DO anything,lots o sleep that way.
Pumping and going to do something else is also a good idea. Gives him daddy bonding time and your boobahs a break.

Aicha - posted on 01/07/2011

sounds like a growth spurt just feed him more and eventual he will grow out of it and settle to a normal feeding schedule

Kristin - posted on 01/06/2011

Sounds like a growth spurt is currently going on. It will slow down. You might try keeping him on longer during his sessions and burping frequently. It is common for the feedings to be closer together at night. That will continue for a while. See if you can introduce other methods of soothing him while feeding him; singing, rocking, walking. I don't know how you feel about co-sleeping or bedsharing, to each their own. But, that may really help you get more rest. There is something really nice about lying beside your child while they feed and you can sleep.

You might try wearing him in a sling or wrap as he may just want to be close to you. My oldest would sleep only if in contact with me.

Also, you are not a human pacifier, you are his mom. The pacifier was created to replace you. Nothing will ever soothe him the way that you will. You are his world right now. And this time is so very short. As hard and frustrating as it feels in the moment, you will miss it a few years from now. Good luck, you are doing great.

Mary - posted on 01/06/2011

I think its interesting that the world tells mom that when they are nursing so often that they are a human pacifier. Which came first the rubber nipple to soothe an infant or the breast to soothe an infant? You aren't a human pacifier, you are a great mother whose child gets comfort naturally instead of artificially. (Not that artificial comfort isn't helpful, just that it is not natural) You are doing a perfect job. Don't worry it does slow down soon. My first (27 months still nursing) spread out her nursing sessions around 6 months but my 2nd (still nursed 8 months) spread hers around 4 months. Neither take pacifiers. Keep up the good job and stick with it! He knows what he needs & he knows you are giving it to him. :) Wonderful work!

Tiffany - posted on 01/06/2011

When this happened with our son I just brought him onto bed with us and let him nurse on demand. I still got to sleep because I just had to latch him on. I didn't have to get up and down all night.

Bethany - posted on 01/06/2011

I felt the same way. I wanted to breastfeed but didnt like as u put it being the " human pacifier". All i can say is it does get better and he will have more time between feedings soon enough. Breastfed babies dont always finish eating and the tricky thing is, is that u dont know how much they eat so u really have to feed on demand in those first few months. As he gets bigger he will eat his fill and will be able to eat faster and more efficiently. Hang in there breast is best!!!! Have u tried a pacifier??Ur milk is completely in now so u can introduce one if u wish!

Nancy - posted on 01/06/2011

Take a deep breath and breath, it happens, every baby is different. In my opinion it doesn't hurt to just let the Baby cry a bit, not real long and not if they are choking them selves up, make sure they are safe like in the crib and leave the room to take a breather! It is important that you are not to worked up!

Diana - posted on 01/06/2011

First, you are doing great! Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel! My son will be 4 months next Monday. He sounds just like your baby. (I'm a first time mom.) He would eat every 2 hours around the clock & very often a feeding would take a hour. I felt like all I was doing was nursing & being used as a pacifier. He just started making it longer stretches thru the night, probably 3 weeks ago. He only gets up twice at night. Though, thru the day he is still eating about every 2 hours. Just w/in the past 3 or 4 days he started going 2 1/2 to 3 hours between some feedings, not all of them. So I know he is heading in the right direction. I would get so frustrated & so tired thru the night. Then I realized my most important job is taking care of and feeding him. Once I learned to be on his schedule and not mine I started to do better.

Also, someone told me most babies go thru grow spurts ob the 3's. Meaning 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. Not every baby is the same so it may very for you but I am finding that is holding true for me.

Keep up the great work. You are giving your baby a great start to life!!!

Shannon - posted on 01/06/2011

it is hard. a lot of mothers romatisize breast feeding. I myself hated it at first, it was at about 2 months that I wanted to give up but kept telling myself it will get easier and it did at about 4 months. I now love feeding most of the time but sometimes I still feel like I should be up doing something. it is worth it and I love it now just hang in ther you are not alone

Becky - posted on 01/05/2011

hang in there mama! Ive been where you are...it's a lot of work but I promise it doesnt last forever. I once heard a mom say that the first few months felt like one big growth spurt because the nursing sessions were so frequent and long...that made me feel a lot better to hear that because I thought my baby was the only one who nursed so much!

I would suggest pumping a bottle and letting dad feed a nursing session but I know that in my situation I was nursing so often that I didnt really have time nor milk to get much of a bottle. It may be that your little one just wants to be comforted and close to you...if you do believe he is nursing for comfort then view it as that...when I thought if it that way it made me more patient with nursing so often...it was still hard but it did make it easier....as far as the pacifier goes maybe try a different brand? Do you ever give your baby gas drops like mylicon? if so, instead of giving it in a dropper try giving it to him on the pacifier..it gets them sucking and then he may realize he likes the paci. Good luck!

Codie - posted on 01/05/2011

Just keep going! I feel like this is so common, there have been many conversations on this topic posted and I experienced it as well. It will get better:) you're doing great!

Danielle - posted on 01/05/2011

He's only 2 months so he's rapidly growing and going to be super hungry often. It'll stop soon, maybe another few weeks to another month. Once he grows a bit more he'll be able to hold more in his belly for longer period of time. My son was the same way. Just hang in there! You're doing great! I too was the 'human pacifier'. It's whatever baby needs though. Try to nap when the baby naps. You could also pump a little milk and maybe have your partner bottle feed once a night so you can rest a bit more. Maybe try another type of pacifier too. I like the Advent for newborn to 6 months. Once they are 6 months I like the Nuk. Don't give up, I know you're so so tired, but it will get better soon! Good luck!

Lisa-Marie - posted on 01/05/2011

You are doing such a good job!! I have nothing to add more to what has already said, I just wanted you to know that you are a great mummy!!!

Angela - posted on 01/05/2011

How long does he feed for when he feeds? I remember all 3 my sons falling asleep while they were feeding even though they should have drank just a little longer, so I would try keep them awake and make sure they finished their feeds and this seemed to stretch the time between feeds that little bit longer. I demand fed all 3 of them and some days they would seem to drink all the times and other days they would go for 4 hours between feeds. Like one of the other moms posted try lay down with him while he is feeding and drift off while he feeds, I did that although I never went into a deep sleep, as I was always aware of the boys next to me, but I found if I did that I definitely felt more rested. I hope that it will become easier for you because BF is such a joy, and a time to be enjoyed.

Amy - posted on 01/05/2011

Hang in there! My first was just like that, we actually switched to giving him a bottle and some rice cereal at bed at 3 months because of how much he was eating. It wasn't till 6 months that he'd go a 4 hour stretch :(

I would guess MOST babies will slow down around there 3 month growth, and about the 3 month mark they become better at getting milk out so they'll start to drink quicker as well.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2011

Also, I co sleep with my daugher, the minute I made that decision was the moment I started getting a ton of sleep, I could just roll over, give her a boob, and pass right out again :) I think I'm the most well rested mom I know! Even when she would wake up every hour on the hour.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2011

Growth spurts! I know it is hard sometimes, there were days I never even bothered to put a shirt on, haha, but I would just plop my butt on the couch, or lay on the bed and nurse her and watch TV or read... TRUST me you will wish you had these days back where you can just be a little bit lazy with the baby attached to you, doing nothing productive except for feeding your baby. Enjoy it!

Rachael - posted on 01/05/2011

growth spurt would be my guess. During growth spurts We would sometimes nurse as often as every 45 minutes. Although I do not mind the human pacifier option it is a part of bonding that you will never get back. Skin to skin contact is the best. My son is now 20 months old, was weaned at 17/18 months and still occasionally "nurses" for comfort only. It gets easier, and as the sessions become farther between you will miss the closeness.

Amy - posted on 01/05/2011

It does get better but until it does your going to feel like a walking zombie. Do you have any milk pumped and stored so your husband can take one of the middle of the night feedings? I knew I was going back to work so my baby took bottles as well as breastfed, but when she was young we only gave her one bottle a day so it wouldn't interrupt my supply nor would it confuse her. I also found that by my husband taking a middle of the night feeding I was able to get a four block of sleep which is all I needed to be able to function.

Celeste - posted on 01/05/2011

Hang in there! It's totally normal for babies this age to want to nurse often, even every hour. Especially during a growth spurt! As far as how long it lasts? It really depends on the baby, unfortunately. You're doing great! I know it's tough, but it will get better!