Negative pressure from others!

Laura - posted on 05/29/2012

resist ignorance,,,the old worn out victotian body shame,embedded in our culture,

Now,the world health org,highly recommends to bf at LEAST 2yrs....some cultures it is 6 or7 yrs,,,,,,all kids are different,unique,have different emotional needs,,,, this bonding is totally up to mom and child,,,when to stop,so stick with your wisdom! and do what is best for you and your child,,,,it is no one else's business!,,,,check out the membership of"Nature Moms" circle we have a lot of info...see profile,,,many of us do extended bf,,,lots of communication---you don't need any more anxiety,,,,it CAN be ok.....,keep with LOVE harmony,balance,tranquility,...things will turn out right for for and your child ...the answers do exist...

Laura Mornings

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2009

Don't let anyone pressure you.  I did and I regret it.  It is much easier to breastfeed and just remind yourself that it is human milk for a human child...there is no good reason to switch to cows milk.  If you want to you could try to pump into a cup for outings if you are too worried about people being mean but I wouldn't..just remind them that it is human milk and why is it so acceptable to give a child milk from a cows breast??

Guggie - posted on 03/03/2009

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/for...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/for...

You'll find lots of support at those forums!

Tegan - posted on 03/03/2009

We were at a birthday party last month where most of the couples have children under 2 and I was the only one still nursing. My son was almost 3 months at the time. The other moms kind of laughed at me and one said, "Are you going to be one of those moms that breastfeeds until their kid is 2?!" I said, "I hope so." :)

Monessa - posted on 03/03/2009

Michael Jordan was breastfed for 3 years! LOL Tell them you are making the worlds next super athlete, and they may shut their mouths!! It's a beautiful thing you are doing for your child, and it's a personal choice! If you are ready to wean, then do it. If not, tell those around you to mind their own! Kellymom has great advice like Melissa said, and just do what feels right for you!

Mary - posted on 03/03/2009

I feel you. My daughter will be two in May and is still nursing. I also plan to have her weaned by two. I started cutting back on the amount of times she nurses and we are down to two times per day! I thing good advice I received was to stop breastfeeding to comfort the child when it is hurt. It can affect their coping skills and make themmore dependent on you. When your little boy wants to nurse try to distract him with his favorite toy, a book, a snack, or a drink from a "cool big boy cup." This has helped with my children. Good luck! PS- don't worry about what other people think, it is scientifically proven that breast milk is better than formula and all pediatricians recommend breastfeeding for at least the first year. My pediatrician told me she was unable to wean her daughter until she was a little over two. If nothing our babies are getting extra immunities which is good for warding off infections this time of year.

Emily - posted on 03/03/2009

We decided as a family (meaning mostly DH and I) that we would nurse until 2. Sadly, this did not work out for #1 and she was weaned at only 4 1/2 months. #2 nursed until 2 years 8 months, and #3 is still going strong at 14 months. I also tandem nursed 2 and 3 for almost 13 months. I got a lot of mixed reactions from nursing an older toddler, and lots of weird looks when people realized I was nursing a toddler, with another baby crawling all over me.

We made our decision mostly for health reasons, and after much research, so I just remind people that this is the best decision for our family and it works for us.

When something doesn't work for you, then you should worry about changing it... until then, keep doing what you're doing. If you do decide to wean, do so gradually and remember that your son will still crave the closeness of breastfeeding, even if he doesn't need the breastmilk. When I weaned my second, I waited until she came to ask for "mommy milk" then I offered her three choices: a snack, a drink, or a story. If she flat out refused all of these choices, then I allowed her to nurse, but more often than not, she chose one of those and was perfectly happy... sometimes she just wanted to sit on my lap and be held for a few minutes. It took us about 4 months to completely wean because I let her go at her own pace, but with a bit of direction from me... I might have done complete child-led weaning, but I was tired of nursing two, and I got pregnant again about a month before #2 weaned... so for one month I was pregnant and nursing two... just a bit more than I wanted to deal with.

Anna Marie - posted on 03/01/2009

I agree with pp that say you need to do what is right for you. Change the subject, I always like the line 'This is what works for us.' There is nothing weird or abnormal about breastfeeding your child. I agree with the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. I have just finished it and it is nice to have my reasons reaffirmed. It also helps to give me some ideas on research that I can put out there when people question my decision. Good luck, and follow your instincts - you are giving your little one a precious gift.

Tamara - posted on 03/01/2009

The thing I've done is smile, nod, and said something like "Pass the bean dip!" Its none of their business when you and your little one wind down your breastfeeding journey.

Emma - posted on 03/01/2009

My daughter breastfed until 3.5, but by that time it was only a little comfort suck at bedtime. And she stopped by herself, it wasn't a big negative thing- all very natural. My 2yr old is still feeding. Going against the culture is really different. But you have science on your side as Melissa pointed out the WHO recommends BF until 2yrs! And the average age to stop globally is 4.5yrs. It is a western cultural thing to stop babies brestfeeding so young. an 18 month old is still receiving so much goodness from breastfeeding. Try and ignore the negative pressure- this is such a precious time in your life and your babies, and in years to come you won't regret it.

Brenda - posted on 03/01/2009

There is nothing wrong with baby and mom continuing nursing well past two if it is what both want.  Unfortunately, we live in a world that seems to think that when a child is one they don't need a bottle or breast any longer. People attach this sexual stigma to the breast as if a child can even begin to comprehend the idea.  It is unfortunate and I know so many women who have weaned not because they or their baby wanted to but because everyone around them told them they were wrong. 

Babies can self wean at any time, around two is generally when a lot of babies start to wean, but remember, you are doing something wonderful for your baby right now (and the fact is, at this age, they are still a baby.  I think society in general forces us to make our children grow up way to fast and makes them be far more independant than they need to be way too soon.  I would continue as long as you are comfortable with it and no matter what be proud because you have done so much for your child already!

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2009

Follow your instincts, not uneducated people who have not learned to think outside the box. My little girl is 27 months and we're still going strong. My original goal was 18 months but I also was going to follow her lead to choose when she was done breastfeeding. Get determined and come up with some good responses or don't even give them the time of day. They are still babies and could use the comfort and stability of mom's arms.

Allison - posted on 03/01/2009

I really like the book Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jean Bumgarner - I find it very supportive and inspiring, and when I feel frustrated nursing a toddler I bring it out and am reminded why I chose to do this to begin with. In other cultures, nursing until 3 or 4 or 5 is typical - it's only in the US and some other westernized cultures that we think nursing past 6 months is weird.

It's funny how children change us a parent. I never planned on co-sleeping or nursing my daughter until 3, but she really needed it. She really could have nursed for a lot longer, but I was pregnant and uncomfortable and forced weaning - for over a year after she stopped nursing she'd ask *every day* if she could nurse and I had to say no. I wish she could have stopped when *she* was ready. I am not weaning my 2 year old yet and am currently pregnant (due in May) so I will be tandem nursing. Because I've seen how important this is for toddlers and even some older children (several friends of mine have/are nursing 5 year olds) that I'm really committed to allow the child to decide to self-wean.

On the bright side - nursing a toddler is very helpful especially when it comes to preventing temper tantrums and even reducing their duration and frequency :-) Because being a toddler is so frustrating (they can't do what they want to do developmentally or for safety reasons, they can't talk as well as they want, etc), nursing can help them calm down, re-center, and rejuvenate so they can face the tough world again. There certainly are benefits to nursing older children ;-)

I'd suggest you just relax and follow your toddler's cues - he'll nurse less as he gets older, but still may need that re-connecting time with you. Try to find other moms who also nurse their older children and talk to them about their challenges and their successes. Kellymom has a really great forum you can join where you can meet other moms as well - through kellymom I've found some local moms who are nursing, too. Look into a local AP mom's group - most of my friends are from the local AP group and almost all have extended nursed their children. Finally, La Leche League is a great resource - check out their website and see about attending a meeting near your home. You may be surprised how many women are nursing older children ;-)

Rachel - posted on 03/01/2009

I let my son decide when to stop--he declared himself a big boy when he was 27 months and that was the end of nursing for us. I'm pregnant with son number 2 and our first tells people that the baby gets food from mommy's boobies not from a yucky can LOL. I had a lot of pressure from family, friends, and complete strangers not to breastfeed past six months. But I had a supportive husband and I'm stubborn ;) The health benefits for both my son and myself to do extended nursing were what kept me going, even when I was flooded with negative pressure. And even today, at three and a half, he is such a healthy little guy when others his age are constantly fighting off this or that--his immune system is strong and I've lowered his risk later in life for some more diseases :) Little bodies are made to used breastmilk well into the toddler years! Kellymom.com is a great resource. When people hit you with their negativity, you can choose to ignore it or flood them with facts about why your choices are providing your child with the best possible start in life. There are times when the flood of facts can feel really satisfying ;)

Melissa - posted on 03/01/2009

Have you gone to the kellmom.com website? It has a lot of good information about breastfeeding. According to the world health organization, they reccommend breastfeeding until 2 years of age. Your baby is getting something wonderful from you. Your baby will have less allergies, less childhood diseases, less colds. It is a shame that people are giving you negative pressure. Its not their child so they shouldn't be worried about what you are doing especially if it is something that is so good for your baby. People see it as weird because society has led us to believe that. Other countries breastfeed their babies without that social stigma. You should follow your heart and do what is best for your baby. The next time someone says something to you tell them thank you for your opinion but I choose to give my baby the best thing in the world.