Nighttime Weaning and Ending Co-sleeping

Mary Renee - posted on 01/07/2011

I am in the same situation with my 8 month old. Oh my gosh, she wants to nurse MORE at night than she did as a newborn!

I got the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" book but it says to make a log of their sleep patterns BEFORE you start their methods so you know if something works or not.

Anyway, I've found that although she roots around and wants the breast (and even pushed against me and cries harder if I pick her up with out feeding her) I can rock her back to sleep. She fights it for the first five minutes, but usually will be back to sleep by ten. My boyfriend can rock her even better since I think she KNOWS he won't give her milk.

Maybe if you try doing something else to put them asleep they might realize they don't need milk? Then again, you might be trading nursing for rocking so I don't know if that would be any better, but at least you can get your SO to help! Maybe agree to nurse him every other time he wakes up, and your SO rocks him every other time he wakes up.

Carolyn - posted on 01/07/2011

I like the pick up put down method, works like a charm for me.

pick up to comfort, the moment the child is calm, you lay them right back down, all the way down, wether or not they start crying part way down. pick up if they cry again, put down when calm. avoid rocking, patting etc, but if necessary use it. just keep picking up and putting down. this teches the child you will meet their needs but not put them to sleep. you just keep picking up and putting down until they stay calm when down . for myself since about 5 months, i have to leave the room the moment he is laying down and calm or else he fusses because he wants me. if i leave he doesnt and goes off to sleep on his own.

try introducing a stuffed animal for comfort and snuggles at night. you can also find crib toys that are sound activated with soothing lights and a lullaby.

i would start putting your son in his crib for naps, if you are not already so he learns his room is a safe place, let him play in the crib a bit too. then work your way into nights.

now i have never co slept except maybe the odd nap, and Logan is not much of a nighttime nurser, just the odd occasion, growth spurt or not feeling well. so i havent exactly been in your shoes.

but the pick up put down method is a great alternative to any ferber method or crying it out style approach.

but like docotor phil says ( LOL) you cant just eliminate a habit without replacing it with another behaviour. this is where a stuffy and a a musical crib toy for soothing is a great replacement for a boob. in my opinion anyways :)

Diana - posted on 01/07/2011

My son is 4 months and we are still co sleeping so I haven't delt w/ this yet but I have a friend who gave me a sleep training idea. She got it from a book and it really worked for her. It may not work for you but it;s worth a try. I should also add that I typically do not feed my son in bed. When he awakes I take him over to the nursery and feed him in the rocking chair. It;s a little harder on me but I'm afraid he will he will feel like he needs to nurse to sleep.

Ok, here is the training strategy I was given.
So: it takes 3 nights to train a baby to sleep straight through.
1-Do your normal routine, except lay baby down to sleep when not quite asleep. Complete your routine in his room and leave. When he wakes up and cries, wait 15 minutes before going in (emergencies NOT included, of course). When you go in, you can do everything in your power to calm him, except for feeding him. If it happens again, do the same thing (wait 15 minutes). No feeding. It sounds weird, but it pays off. And if he's healthy, it totally works!

2-Do your normal routine, as for night 1. When he wakes up and cries, wait 15 minutes before going in. This time, do everything you can to calm him WITHOUT picking him up or feeding him. Same thing throughout the night, no matter how many times it happens. Probably by this time, you may be thinking how this might actually work, but it really really does work! Hang in there!

3-Same old normal routine as for the previous nights. When he wakes up and cries, wait 15 minutes--and do NOT go in unless it's an emergency. If he keeps crying very badly past the 15 minutes, you may revert to instructions to night 2, and try night 3 the next night. Generally by this time, your baby has learned that nothing important is going to happen by the time 15 minutes is up and that crying is pretty pointless. Something magical happens within that 15 minutes in that they learn to comfort themselves and go back to sleep on their own. I don't know what it is, but we've stuck by the 15 minute rule all through our kids' growing up years, and they've generally solved whatever issue all by themselves.

Now, there are times when you can tell just by how they sound that something ELSE is wrong that won't be solved without you. Either sickness, hurt, bad dream, etc, that you'll have to go in for. That's part of being a mom! And I don't know what it is, but you'll be able to tell just by how they sound when they cry if it's for real or if they're pulling your leg.

I hope this helps! It sounds a bit cruel and unusual at first, but it really works and it really helps!

One more thing: every kid is different, so to yours straight through the night might be 5 hours, it might be 7, or it might be 9. Who knows?

Good luck if you try it. Like I said I haven't tried it yet but my friend swears by it.

Celeste - posted on 01/07/2011

Yeah, my twins would continue to wake up to nurse. My feeling was, that I didn't know for sure that they weren't hungry so I fed them. When they were close to 2 and they were still waking up,that's when I did nightweaning. But, I felt before a year, that they needed it since I was their main form of nutrition.