Ok Seriously, why do people feel the need to offer their thoughts.

Debbie - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been nursing my DD for 14.5 months now. I returned to work about a month ago and my daughter now just nurses in the morning befoe we go to the sitter and as much as she wants in the evening and on demand during the weekend.



Some evenings she nurses only before bed, some evenings it is 4-5 times between whne we get home and she goes to bed. What ever works for her is good for me. Quite frankly it is a good excuse to let hubby make dinner!



On the weekends she often goes most of the day with out nursing but other times it is quite often. Again what ever she needs is good for me.



What annoys me is the people who say, "oh you're still nursing?" "your supply must be going way down." Well of course it is going down. So is her demand! It's all about supply and demand people. When she demands it my body, in the last 14.5 months, has figured out what to supply.



I hope to make it to 2 years with my daughter but for sure I plan to at least make it though the nasty flu season. If only people who stop offering their two cents worth!



Thanks for letting me rant!

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Ulla - posted on 10/19/2009

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I was a breastfeeding mom in the 80's and used to get all kinds of comments from people, even strangers. The best (or worst?) came from a nurse of all people, she was supposed to offer encouragement but instead of that asked me "why can't you be like everybody and give your baby the bottle?". And that happened when my daughter was 7 months old! The nurse went on saying she could somehow understand nursing for 3 months, but 7! I felt like a freak.



Please understand people are, and always have been, uneducated, ignorant, stupid and ill informed. They believe they are right and bottle feeding is the norm and acceptable, breast is gross or strange when it comes to feeding a child. They will give you all kinds of reasons: when you formula feed, at least you know what goes into the baby (but do you really?); you know the baby gets enough (you also know the baby gets enough of your milk if she wets her diapers); somebody else can feed the baby so that you can leave him (why would you want to?).



My mother in law used to warn me one day my breasts would shut down and I would wake up in the morning and have no milk left. That never happened. I breastfed a total of six years of my life. - You don't owe people any explanations, just say you want to give your baby the very best, therefore you are planning to nurse her as long as possible.

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Sylvia - posted on 10/31/2009

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I totally hear you. My daughter nursed till sometime after her fifth birthday (I think ... weaning is a process! ;^)) and after a while I just kind of didn't tell people she was "still" nursing unless it was really unavoidable -- that way the really negative people (my in-laws, mostly) could just assume she'd already quit, which meant they didn't bug me so much about it. I'm not good at confrontation IRL, and although I wanted to be a BF advocate, I didn't enjoy being on the receiving end of incredulous stares at family occasions, nor did I want DD to have to hear some of the things uninformed people say about "extended" nursing :P

I didn't really expect to end up nursing a 5-year-old, but I did plan to let her self-wean, and guess what? That's what happened. And, sure, there were days when I was ready to be done; but I'm so glad she nursed long enough to remember how much she loved nursing, and I hope those memories will help her be patient with her own babies someday :)

I think a lot of people, especially those who weaned their kids really early, assume that a nursing toddler is just like a nursing newborn, only bigger. They have no idea what nursing a toddler or an older child actually looks like -- like, that it might be only once or twice a day, or even less often -- and they have all sorts of weird ideas that they picked up somewhere (one of my favourites, from a former co-worker who weaned her first child at 5 months, was "My paediatrician says breast milk has no nutritional value after 6 months anyway") and feel they absolutely must share with you :P

Occasionally I've succeeded in shutting somebody up by telling them how when DD was three(ish) and had scarlet fever (strep with a rash), she refused all food and liquids for several days but nursed constantly, and our paediatrician told me how lucky we were that she was still nursing, since otherwise she'd probably have ended up in the hospital being rehydrated by IV ...

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Quoting Ulla:

I was a breastfeeding mom in the 80's and used to get all kinds of comments from people, even strangers. The best (or worst?) came from a nurse of all people, she was supposed to offer encouragement but instead of that asked me "why can't you be like everybody and give your baby the bottle?". And that happened when my daughter was 7 months old! The nurse went on saying she could somehow understand nursing for 3 months, but 7! I felt like a freak.

Please understand people are, and always have been, uneducated, ignorant, stupid and ill informed. They believe they are right and bottle feeding is the norm and acceptable, breast is gross or strange when it comes to feeding a child. They will give you all kinds of reasons: when you formula feed, at least you know what goes into the baby (but do you really?); you know the baby gets enough (you also know the baby gets enough of your milk if she wets her diapers); somebody else can feed the baby so that you can leave him (why would you want to?).

My mother in law used to warn me one day my breasts would shut down and I would wake up in the morning and have no milk left. That never happened. I breastfed a total of six years of my life. - You don't owe people any explanations, just say you want to give your baby the very best, therefore you are planning to nurse her as long as possible.


I had a pediatrician get MAD at me, for refusing to have my son circumcized.  I asked her 'why'... and her answer to me was, 'because everyone else does it.'



Please dont let anyone influence you.  You are a Mama... and they call it MOTHERS INTUITION for a REASON.

Kelly - posted on 10/31/2009

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Good on you for sticking to your beliefs:) I found surrounding myself with like minded people helped a lot, especially for information sharing and encouragement. I agree that most comments are made due to lack of good information being available although it is getting better, thanks La Leche League :) I also found the longer I breastfed the more confidence I had in facing difficult situations. If you show others your confidence they may start to ask questions instead of undermining you. Gently challenge their comments with something like "I see you're concerned...... and put their feelings back on them. Hope this helps:)

Linda - posted on 10/19/2009

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I totally understand! I hate to hear smart remarks from people!!! I'm still nursing my 10 month old and plan to until he doesn't want to anymore. I don't understand why people have to be so judgemental over breastfeeding!! We know as moms that we are doing what is best for our babies. Good luck to you!!

Kathy - posted on 10/19/2009

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I completely understand where you're coming from and congratulate you on your decision for extended breastfeeding. Unfortunately, not everyone is as informed as we (breastfeeding parents) are. I've battled many evil stares and argued my right to breastfeed with many. I'm glad to know there are others willing to put up a fight for what is best for their child! Just keep up the good work and try to not worry what others think although it is much easier said then done. I usually tell people they are just jealous because my baby will be smarter then theirs ;) Here's a few facts I like to recite from http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020200...

1)Children who were breastfed have I.Q. scores averaging seven to ten points higher than formula-fed infants. It's important to remember that these numbers represent averages for hundreds of children, not the effect of breastfeeding on a specific individual. So, if you want to raise the intelligence level of an entire generation of children, breastfeeding would be a simple and cost-effective way to do it.

2)The intellectual advantage gained from breastfeeding is greater the longer the baby is breastfed.



Just keep up the good work!

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