please help!!! gonna go nuts...

Felecia - posted on 03/31/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My now 4 month 3 weeks old daughter was born with colic this last month she seem to pass that milstone in her life the weeks got better, but she also started crawling and has two teeth now but this last week she has been so hard to deal with (I know how bad that sounds) She pretty much crys all day I know she is getting enough breastmilk and sleep. I feel like I am gonna go crazy I am here with her 24/7 (and my almost 4yr old son) And I have no help, no matter what I do she just crys.. Every time I think she is getting over the colic or what ever it is I go through this I dont know what to do any more I dont like to just let her cry but what can I do I get so upset when she crys all the time I have to put her down for a few minutes, just to breath.. The doctor says there is nothing that he can find thats wrong with her...Does any one have any advice???

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Michelle - posted on 04/01/2009

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Do you have a swing or bouncy chair?  If you can get one of the bouncy chairs that vibrate, sometimes that works.  And if it doesn't -- well, if she's dry and fed, and she cries for 15 minutes in the swing or bouncy chair, oh well.  At least you could maybe get a shower.



Try going for a walk or a drive, go to the mall.  Just getting out of the house helps.  Make some new girlfriends-- is there a mommy's group in your area?  Check out meetup.org.  Try the public library, you can meet other moms at story hour.  Try your church, sometimes there's some lonely elderly ladies who would be happy to become an honorary "Aunt", and could help you out.



Just remember that it's normal to get frustrated and sometimes the safest thing to do is put her down where she's safe, let her cry and go outside where you can't hear her for a few minutes.  It's okay to do that.

Carrie - posted on 04/01/2009

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It sounds like the main problem is you have no help.  I'm so sorry that she's like this, and I agree that even if you could step away for as little has half an hour it might calm and refresh you.   www.llli.org can help you find an LLL meetingnear you, they're free to attend and you can take your toddler and baby with you.  It might be good just to get out of the house for a while and talk with some supportive moms.

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Alison - posted on 04/01/2009

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Playing in food sounds like fun! Can I play too? She may be ready for solids, it is early, but if she already has teeth and is crawling she maybe ahead of the curve.

You are doing great! It is hard, but you can do it. Have you tried a mommy park group? LLL sounds like a great option. The local HS may have an ROP child development class that can give your 4 yr old some time with other little kids and you some time to have only the infant. It may also have a baby sitter resource for free sitting as part of their grade for class. Check it may be worth your while. Just to get some help.

Your beautiful girl sounds like my oldest. I used to tell myself her cries are just because she is frustrated by her body not working like she wants it to. It gave me a strategy to distract her. I helped her learn to play, transfer things from hand to hand, stand, crawl, roll over, etc. You can even have your son help.
Both of my girls are outdoor girls and would scream (red faced tears, high pitches that could peel wall paper off the wall) if they were inside too long. I put them in the sling (over the shoulder baby holder brand) naked with my shirt pulled up a little for skin to skin contact with a blanket around them to keep warm and go for a walk with my MP3 player. It would drown out their little cries and help them and me relax.
Take a walk with your son to the park or around a local park. It is spring, get out and explore. As long as your pedi says that there is nothing physically wrong with her, have patience and a toy in the crib for 10 minutes while you relax can be a great compromise. You being stressed and tense will not help her at all.
Best of luck.

Andrea - posted on 04/01/2009

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I'm so sorry. I have no advice. My 14 week old cries all of the time too.

Felecia - posted on 04/01/2009

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Thank you all for you reply I do have bouncer, swing, and a sling she would rather not be in any thing but my arms, and even then she still crys (not as bad as if i put her down).. I do not have any support but my boyfriend (kids father) and he works late , long hours sleeps most of the day.. and my parents are not around, his parents come dont come around very often.. other than that I am really alone with the kids.. I am in a group called loving arms it helps you learn all different things about your childs development its once a week for a hour and it does give me comfort but even they are confused why she would still be crying like she does.. I took her back to the doctor today she is still healthy, developing fast and gaining weight shes doing great. They recomend me to give her cereal once a day and a sippy cup with apple juice mixed with water in it just once in awhile They told me dont worry to much about her eating the cereal just being able to play in it?? What are your thought about this?? Once again thank you all for the support GOD BLESS

Allison - posted on 04/01/2009

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Have you tried to wear her in a sling or wrap? Sometimes the motion is very helpful for baby and then you can get out - take a walk, go to the store, whatever. Is there a local mom's group you could join, so you can get out and talk with other moms?

Sometimes you need a break, of course. I'm not big on letting a baby cry, but if it's your sanity or a crying baby, it's much better to put baby in a safe place (crib, whatever) and take a few minutes to yourself. Take a shower, have a cup of tea, or just grab a bite to eat. Babies who are high-needs tend to take a lot out of you :-) It does get better, though!

It's amazing she's crawling already! And two teeth! That's a lot for such a little one :-) I'm sure you will work it out with her...it does take time.

Hugs.

Meghan - posted on 04/01/2009

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Hang in there!  It wll get better.  I think that you just need help.  She can tell that you are stressed and that may make her stressed as well.  If you can get someone to take the kids for a short time a few times a week that might be best for everyone.  My husband is gone right now so Im alone too.  I have family that is close so that helps to get away for a even 30 min.  Good Luck!

Shannon - posted on 03/31/2009

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It's ok to be frustrated. You are not a bad mom. Is there anyone in your life, a partner, friends, parents, family, trusted neighbors? Have someone come and sit with the baby for 20-30 min for you to take a walk (alone) to breath. One of mine had colic for 3 months... I know how it feels. Just remember things will get better, she won't cry forever.

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