Please help me BF my 17mo

Bih - posted on 04/29/2010

I think it is easier to explain to the husband why you should go with a child-led weaning process than to explain to a 17mo why he can't have the booby anymore.

Jessica - posted on 04/28/2010

I don't know if it helps or not but when my little guy was weaning(mostly on his own) i would offer him a sippy instead of breast feeding him right away. Of course that was a choice i made as the one breastfeeding not because somebody else wanted me to stop. So you could try doing that and see if it helps. Maybe if ya give him a sippy and cuddle him it will give him that closeness of breastfeeding without actually doing it. But that's a choice for you if you still want to breast feed then by all means keep doing it and ta hell with your husband. Its not his choice

Meri - posted on 04/26/2010

Your son will know when it's time to quit. And where you're not breastfeeding in public why does your husband care? It's so important for your son to have that time with you, that's what breastfeeding is all about. Children are designed to self wean. They'll know when they're too old or when they don't need it anymore.
Ask your husband what his real intentions behind getting your little one off the breast are.

Marcie - posted on 04/24/2010

I fed my son until 3.5yrs - he was never ready to wean as I had hoped he would do. However a couple rough nights & he was fine & stopped asking - he was only feeding 1X @ night - & I was worried about his teeth as he brushed them then breastfed to fall asleep, he did fine just took a week of so. I can tell you the kid is never sick! Both he & his brother are rarely sick - the benefits of breastfeeding :)

Jennnifer - posted on 04/24/2010

thank u ladies for all ur support..while DH and i have yet to have a heart to heart i read him tidbits from this board and while he doesn't whole heartly agree he sees that he son really enjoys his nummy nummys... as for those who said give him a pumped bottle he refused the bottle at 2mo and i lent my pump to r cousin. besides he has been drinking from a sippy for months now and would not take the pumped stuff in a cup. i tried i had some frozen milk and he refused to drink it..anyway thank u ladies for ur support

Ivy - posted on 04/24/2010

Stand up for what you want and believe. It is your child so you call the shots. They do recommend they nurse until 2 because it is better for them and they are more healthy in the long run, and smarter!

Just say yes he is still nursing and I LOVE IT! The WHO recommends you to nurse until then and I will let him decide when he wants to stop nursing.

Most children when they are allowed to stop nursing on their own will stop about 3-4yrs. My oldest turns 3 in july and will nurse 0-3times a day.

Teri - posted on 04/23/2010

baby led weaning can take years - mommy led weaning is done when you decide you need to. there are lots of moms who bf for many years. there's nothign wrong with it and the child benefits from it. I beleive that 18 mos is kind of when it gets harder to remove bf, binkie, bottle, etc. so if your'e inclined to wean soon, do it now (gently, over the course of a month) before you get past 18 mos.

Kylie - posted on 04/23/2010

Weaning is up to you, if you're not ready you're not ready. I bf my 1st until she was 23 months, She slowly dropped a feed here & there until she was down to 1 in the morning & then was in too much of a hurry to get up & get going in the morning to have a feed. Saved me making the decision to stop! I have a 10mth old now & I'm starting to get the 'when are you going to stop feeding?' I'm going to stop when I want to!!! However I won't still be feeding when she starts school. Thats a bit beyond me.

Kimrose - posted on 04/22/2010

WOW - I could NOT feel MORE STRONGLY about this, but I'll try to restrain myself and be helpful - I would NEVER, EVER, EVER wean your child before they're ready - just my opinion - but I've lived it, so I'm speaking from at least personal experience. You're not ready - and neither is your son. I don't know you - but your words and tone make it clear - it's obvious. Would your son survive weaning - of course - would it be traumatizing and a negative ending to something that's been so positive and nurturing - I honestly think so. Does your husband know that the World Health Organization recommends a 2 year minimum now - minimum - and then as long after as is "mutually beneficial" for you and your child. I'm sorry - but I would have resented my husband SO MUCH if we weaned for HIS BENEFIT. I do think there are moments that are tough on even the best dad and husband - we ended up extended nursing/years - b/c that's what "child-led weaning" turned out to be for us. My son is an incredibly independent, creative social kid - and clearly only benefited. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE trust your own gut, be honest w/your husband and your own feelings and maybe help your husband find a group online or at least information that help him realize how NORMAL it is and how beneficial! I'm sure if he's a great dad he wants the best for your son - I'm wondering if the cries to nurse bother him...just a thought. I wish you strength - there's no going back - and I'd hate to see you regret your decision. Good luck to you! :)

Belinda - posted on 04/22/2010

I have a 2yr old and he is still getting his nite-nite too. I have been reminding him that he is a big boy and we will soon have to stop nursing soon. He still likes the time we spend cuddling the most. I nursed my other children too, they were both over 2 before they weaned also. Take it slowly, talk about it and offer a cup and let them choose what to put in it. They feel like they have some control over their choices then. I am also being pressured by by Hubby to wean. I have told him that it will come in time and show both respect by communicating my feelings about it too.....

Jennifer - posted on 04/21/2010

I think if you are happy doing it why not keep doing it? The only thing i personally have a problem with is feeding older babies to bed. I know a few mums who have pretty much weaned their babies between 1 and 2yrs old only to continue a bedtime feed as that is the only way they can get their child to go to sleep. In this circumstance i would suggest stopping as it is used as a settling tool. I also know of a friend who breast fed as long as possible to avoid sex! Your husband probably wants your breasts back-lol. Do whatever makes you happy:)

Jennifer - posted on 04/21/2010

Do you use breastfeeding as a settling tool before bed?

Amanda - posted on 04/21/2010

i think you should wait till you're both ready. my now 27 month old daughter was about 19 1/2 months when we stopped. i didn't really want to, but i was 3 months pregnant with our 2nd child and also recovering from H1N1 and a bad upper respiratory infection. we nursed until i was sure she had received the antibodies to help fight the swine flu in case she did get it. my mom pointed out that nursing her was probably draining some of my energy anyway, even though we were only nursing one time a day and that was in the morning. my hubby always said (even before she was born) that when she could get it out herself it was time to stop. i never really knew what age that meant, but figured at almost 2 we were probably getting close. i planned on nursing for the last time on friday morning, that way daddy would be home saturday and could take her and do something and she might forget. if nothing else he would then see how difficult it was going to be to stop. sure enough, when monday came around she let me know she wanted it, but it wasn't that hard to tell her no and move on. it's kinda cure now though. sometimes if she sees me without a shirt on she points to them and says 'baby leah'. leah was due to be born on 4/19 and she's a little 'late' but kenzie knows that they are for babies. i always loved breastfeeding kenzie and am really looking forward to giving daughter # 2 the best start out in life that i can.

Bevin - posted on 04/21/2010

I don't think you should ween him, Your baby needs as much of the wonderful breast milk as possible especially if he still wants it, I'm sorry but your husband may not know how beneficial this is for his son, many cultures breast feed until 4 or 5 years and they are much healthier than Americans . Just do what you know deep down is right!

Selena - posted on 04/21/2010

Dont stop weaning him until YOU and YOUR SON are ready to stop

Carrie - posted on 04/21/2010

Honestly, Jennifer, I think it is dishonourable of your husband to ask you to wean your baby early. The WHO recommend 2 as a MINIMUM!! Who said ask your husband for leniency? Is he the prison warden, or are you equal partners? Tell him to show you a little respect, and butt out!

Colette - posted on 04/21/2010

This has helped me to read these postings. I have a 18 month old and I am still nursing. Thank you all for your postings.

Stina - posted on 04/20/2010

I'm sorry that you are receiving so much pressure to wean your son.

I really like to suggestion to pump a bottle to offer him at night... Maybe have Dad give him the night time bottle since it's hard for a BF baby to accept a bottle when the superior breast is right there to ask for.

Being down to only two feedings a day- one in the morning and one at night, your son is practically weaned already. These are usually the last to go and if given the time, your son will give these up when he's ready. Maybe direct your husband to some literature or websites about child-led weaning. Tell him you understand he is uncomfortable with your toddler nursing still and that you have been trying to respect what he wants, but that your is very close to being fully weaned- and that it might be easier on everyone if you let your son decide when he's ready to give up the night and morning feed. Offer your husband a "deadline" Say, if our son still hasn't dropped these last feedings by his 2nd b-day, you can re-evaluate the situation and try to wean him the rest of the way then... Chances are, if you stop pushing your son to wean he'll be done by his second birthday.

Good luck.

Morgan - posted on 04/20/2010

My son is still nursing at 17 months. I really believe that he'll ween when he is ready.

Ellen - posted on 04/20/2010

If you are really considering weening and if it isn't to much trouble for you, try to pump a bottle for his night feedings. That way he gets used to taking a bottle but he is still getting the nutrients he needs from the breast milk.

Robin - posted on 04/20/2010

I breastfeed my 3 yr old until she was 2 and also my 8 month old until she was 5 months so i know how you feel. You messed up by taking away his night feedings first. you need to take away 1-2 daytime feedings depending on how much you feed, then in about a month later take another. It will kill you as much as it will kill him, but if you break him gradually it won't be as rough. Hope this helps.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/20/2010

Well for starters every pro breastfeeding organization recomends breastfeeding until 2 at least for all the health benefits.
Secondly my husband wanted my son to stop at a year as well but we went in and talked to his pediatrician who helped explain to him the benefits and the emotional issues it could cause if he was made to stop.
I was pregnant with baby number two at the time and was not emotionally ready to let go of my first baby. But he did wean himself a few months before my second son was born. The option was still open even after brother nursed if he wanted to but he was done and he made the decision.

My pediatrician gave my husband one thought that she has been a doctor for many years and she has never seen a child still breastfeeding when they graduate from school they do stop but it is way better to let them do it on their own terms.

Belinda - posted on 04/19/2010

I am getting the same pressure with regards to my 15mth son, his sister was weanede at that time because he came along and she was draining me dry leaving nothing from him. stopping her was really hard even though she was only having a night feed. like you my son is on 2 feeds one at each end of the day. i see those feeds as a time just for us he will stop eventually and some morning he has a bottle with daddy which is really nice. if you have to stop another feed stop the one in the morning replaceing it with a bottle from daddy is what i am doing.

Ashley - posted on 04/19/2010

Also, you can print off this "Breastfeeding a Toddler - Why on Earth?" fact sheet.. it's evidence-based info to keep you going as long as possible!

http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_...

Kendra - posted on 04/19/2010

i still nurse my 23 month old daughter and proud of it....she'll not take it to school with her so why worry! good luck with it all

Sonja - posted on 04/19/2010

I have a 2 1/2 year old who still nurses I don't care what any one says I will wean him when I feel it is right for him and my self my husband agrees with me. You need to do the same thing you will know when it is right. You should go to this web sight kellymoms.com all for breastfeeding moms. Good Luck!

Layla - posted on 04/19/2010

just wanted to add that when a nursing toddler turns 2, mom's milk starts producing more antibodies. This is because the child is nursing less and the child is also exposed to a lot more germs and pathogens. Another reason for full term (extended) nursing.
Our bodies are so amazing!

Jacquelyn - posted on 04/19/2010

Wean when you are ready - really sit down and talk to your husband about it and about why you think it is important, wisit some websites like kellymom, LLL and WHO with him and tell him you and your son are not ready to wean - on a side note all the people saying to wean to a bottle are insane! if you are going to wean do it slowly and do not wean to a bottle or a sippy because then you will just have one more thing to wean him from :) good luck!

Layla - posted on 04/19/2010

I nursed my 1st until her 3rd b-day and my second until he was almost 2 1/2. I got some pressure and looks from strangers when we were nursing in public, but I knew very well how good it was for my kids and me and that gave me a lot of fortitude to continue.
If you and your son are enjoying what you have left of your nursing relationship, then by all means, continue! When you do feel it is time to end it, what I found helpful was to start talking about it way ahead of time. "when you turn 2 you'll be a big boy and that will be your last day of nursing and we'll have a party for you!" Preparing them is so helpful. For my daughter the big day was her 3rd b-day. With my son, we planned a "no more nursing party" a few of his friends came over for cake and ice cream. I was nervous about both of them ending the nursing since they both loved it so much but both transitioned so well because they were prepared and the end of it was celebrated. The couple times my son started to ask to nurse after we had weaned, I didn't need to say a word because he stopped himself in mid-thought and said to me "no more nursing party!" he remembered that we were all done.
good luck!

Ashley - posted on 04/19/2010

I want to share an experience with you that I just had this week. I was at the park with my 19 month old dd and my 33 month old dd and the older daughter fell off the climber. Now, she is usually just fine and pretty resilient but this day we had just witnessed another 2 1/2 year old fall and really have a good long cry. I think that my daughter picked up on this and went straight into a wail, even though she calmed down almost instantly. How did she do this? I put her immediately to the breast. She sat on my lap and nursed, each whimper slowly leaving her chest... until she was smiling and ran off again to play a few minutes later. The other little girl, clearly not harmed but probably emotionally hurt, was still looking for comfort from her mother who would then say to her "you're a big girl, big girls don't cry. just run off an play, you'll get over it" in the most endearing way those sorts of words could be said to a child. I am in no way knocking the other style of mothering, we all do the very best we can with what we have. I do have to say that especially in situations like this where very small children (1-3yrs+) are quite emotionally vulnerable, breastfeeding has proven to us through our three children to be the easiest and the best tool in the toolbox to pull out! I am happy that my "best with what I have" includes breastfeeding for so so so many reasons. :)

For good support, check out your local chapter of the La Leche League (www.llli.org). There is no better place to be when you are nursing your baby. No one will tell you to wean unless you want to, and everyone has 'been there before'. I couldn't survive this long with the outside pressures against breastfeeding without my LLL sisters to see monthly!!! It is not the "breastfeeding-nazi" group people make it out to be. It is a supportive place for BF moms to go and talk, complain, BF without discretion, and etc all the while being protected by the 'just give a bottle' sort of advice. Our local chapter has couples meetings so dad's can get involved with the mothering at the breast ideology, and it really helps them to understand why we do what we do.

Ashley

Melinda - posted on 04/19/2010

I know they have tol u this before, just stop when ur baby feels ready. My daughter Kamila is 14 months old and she still nurses. I work all day and as soon as I go and pick her up automatically she greets me with a hug, a smile and then. Straight to the"Boo, Boo". I don't mind really. I didn't get to nurse my son and well the experience has been rewarding. I bonded with my boy by staying home, this is the way I bond with Kamila since I am away from her. I have no plans to stop just yet. So don't feel as if u have to.

Kristin - posted on 04/19/2010

Why does your husband want you to stop? You aren't dishonoring him by feeding your child. While at 17 months he doesn't need you to do BF, you both are enjoying the closeness it fosters.

What other have to say is of no importance and you should ignore them. Your son will gradually give up the breast. When he is wishy-washy about feeding, that's when you hold out on him. He's not going to fuss and will be okay with something else in it's place; story, song, hug and kiss.

Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

it's your choice to continue to breastfeed your baby. your body. your baby will continue to benefit from it for as long as your nurse. if it helps....my baby will be 2 on july 27 th and he still nurses. if you and your baby still wanna nurse....go for it! good luck!!!!

Jen - posted on 04/19/2010

I still nurse my 20 mo old daughter once in the morning and at night before bedtime. I see no harm in it; and we have our nights where I go to school; so she had to learn to not be dependent on nursing to go to sleep. I suggest you pick one night a week where Daddy reads him a book or two and snuggles up with a special blanket, and that's the way to make it so that you can actually leave the house at night. It introduces a separate and equally nurturing routine without giving up your bonding time. Also - you need to leave the house so that your son isn't screaming for you the first time because he knows you're there. ;)

Virginia - posted on 04/19/2010

Nurse your son for as long as you are comfortable. Your husband really has no say in this as far as I am concerned.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

I have 4 kids and have weaned 3 of them all at age 2. I slowly cut out day feedings, leaving morning and night till last. then cut out morning feedings by snuggling then saying 'let's get breakfast" the night feeding is the hardest. that's where i would offer a sippy cup of water instead and snuggle. they cry a little. after two or three nights of waking and crying when given water, they stopped waking at night too.
as for the pressure to wean, that's nobody's business but yours! I'm guessing the husband wants your body back--for him. he's being selfish. show him 101 reason to breastfeed and then to stuff a sock in it. you'll wean when you are ready.

Miranda - posted on 04/19/2010

You shouldnt have to put up with pressure from family for "still feeding". You have the right to BF for as long as you & your child wish to! My son is 16months old & Im NOT looking forward to the day he decides to wean! The lucky things is that my partner is supportive but my mother is even better as she BF me until I started primary school at age of 5yrs & 3months - that may seem a long time & she tried everything to stop me (bandaidsv over nipples, you name it she tried it). She believed that your child will know when to wean theirself. I am planning on doing the same with my son! Maybe you should sit down & have a big convo with your hubby on why he doesnt want you to BF anymore! Give him all the reasons why you want to & then see how he responds to that! I agree with other posts, if you are going to wean, do it slowly not suddenly as the breast is a comfort thing! How would you like someone to take away your morning coffee? I couldnt live without mine! Good luck & I hope you do what YOU & your SON want to do!

Betsy - posted on 04/19/2010

Great Advice Tiffany! Short...sweet...and really TO THE POINT! Good Luck Jennifer!

Tiffany - posted on 04/19/2010

I am nursing my toddler as I type, so please forgive me errors...

I would start by talking more with hubby. Why is he so adamant? Is he willing to read about the benefits? The WHO guidelines? LOTS of great info out there. And if he's wanting YOU back, you can work on that without weaning!

Your son WILL be ready to wean... My two oldest stopped on their own, and I'm enjoying my time with the last one, athough I know his time will come, too.

Alberta - posted on 04/19/2010

I thought the samething with my second child. She BF until 18 months old and it was a mutual thing to stop. She decided she wanted real food rather than to nurse first in the am and then we started having shorter and shorter pm nurse sessions and she just stopped one night. Why does your hubby want it to stop? I would talk to him and see why and LISTEN to his oppinion and then give him your opinion CALMLY. see if he would be ok with weaning slightly slower. Take out the am feed for a week then work on the night one.Chances are your LO will quit soon anyway. Also avoid telling the LO "daddy said no more" because that makes him the bad guy and could make LO "mad" at Dad. Dad may have to compromise for a little longer if you compromise by really working on weaning and giving a "due date" for stopping. Also on you physically it is SOOOOO much easier to quit when there is very little milk being made. Your body is still use to the am/pm schedule. By doing things slightly slower you will have less (if any) discomfort.When I quit I had no pain or problems with not nursing.

Sarah - posted on 04/19/2010

I think it varies hugely from child to child. For example, I breastfed my son into toddlerhood and the thing is, he was (and still is) a child with special needs and I realize now his sensory needs were such that it was something that he especially needed. My daughter, on the other hand, has just about weaned herself, at 15 months.

If you want support for nursing a toddler, I would suggest the Mothering forums (the website for the magazine Mothering). As for your husband, that's a tricky and very personal matter. If I were you I would discuss with your husband and try to reach a compromise, such as definitely by two, and slowly wean, dropping a feeding at a time just as you're doing. My feeling, for what it is worth, about breastfeeding past infancy, is that no one should feel pressured, either way. If you don't feel like breastfeeding a toddler, then don't. If you feel like breastfeeding your toddler a few times a day, then do so--you'll be able to wean when it's time for both you and your son.

Betsy - posted on 04/19/2010

Dear Jennifer,
I breastfed my twin girls until they were almost 4 years old. (not a drop of formula...EVER) There is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding for that long. I had a ton of pressure too. (it was 21 years ago). That being said, by the time they were 24 ish months, the amount of time they were breastfed each day was minimal. As the next two years progressed, it was every OTHER day...then a few times a week...and then just when they were sick...and then it just "petered" out.
You are correct in your beliefs to breastfeed. It is the BEST source of nutrition for babies and toddlers. (I also counseled nursing mothers in my doula practice for years). When a small child gets sick, it is the ONLY thing they can "hold down"...has that ever happened to you guys? My kids rarely got sick, but, when they did, breastfeeding kept them from dehydrating.
OK...on another note. I can understand that your hubby wants your son off the breast...there are probably many reasons...some that are psychological. Can you lovingly approach him and ask him to explore with you the reasons why he is so adamant about it? Try to confirm that you understand his point of view. Then explain to him the emotional and psychological ramifications of traumatizing the both of you. The rippling affect of doing it when you aren't ready will cause division in your little family that will only serve to wreak havoc in future years. If you are telling your son that "Daddy doesn't want him to have it", and then you give it to him anyway, you are setting up a structure of deception toward your husband (he is supposed to come first in the family "chain"). By holding secrets between you and your son, you are putting your son in a position of enmity with his father...also not a good thing. This is deadly to a family. So, get this straightened out with your husband so that he understands it is not freakish, it is a natural progression that must occur slowly. Let him know how much you love him (your husband). Maybe he is feeling a little "pushed aside" right now and he needs to be reassured that HE IS FIRST in your life.
I hope this helped. Remember your goal is to be your loving self to both of those two guys in your life! xxoxox
♥

Julie - posted on 04/19/2010

It's sounds to me like you're well on your way to weaning (with 2 feedings a day). It's no one else's business what you're doing so just ignore the outside comments and do what feels right to you. With your husband I think you just sit down (when you're not feeling overwhelmed by emotions) and tell him how you feel. Let him know that you need to wean on your own time table and you need him on your side. I also think you should definitely avoid saying "dad said no" to your son when not breast feeding him. It's going to make things worse if you create a riff between you and your husband when you really need him to support you.
Good luck!

Dora - posted on 04/19/2010

I think you are doing t the right way. Wean him slowly every week. So far you have got him down to 2x's a day. Next week try to just nurse him at night 1x and go from there. It's a difficult decision to make but I think if you continue to wean him slowly you won't traumatize him.

Inga (Uttara) - posted on 04/19/2010

I breastfed my daughter till she was 3,5 years old. nummy... nummys was her shelter, comfort, cudles, love ... everything. Sometimes it takes much longer time to wean your child than you would like to. For me it took over half a year wean her. I stopped to BF her completely when I got pregnant with my second baby. Do what you think is best for your baby because you are his mother and you know him the best. Your breast milk is still the best food you can give it to him.
Inga

Helen - posted on 04/19/2010

My daughter is 14 months old and breastfeeds when she wakes in a morning and before bed. I have introduced a bottle to her gradually, so she would take an occasional feed of follow-on milk. She likes to nurse to sleep so once she got used to drinking from a bottle I introduced this before her daytime nap. If she protested sometimes I would give in, other times I would persist and she now happily takes the milk before her daytime nap. It took a good few days before she would take the feed, it doesn't happen straight away. I think during the day, when you are not tired yourself, you can cope a little better with their protests.

Once this was established, I tried her with the bottle for a night time feed. Again, if she protested I would give in, but then try again in a couple of days. I used to sit on the sofa, or on the bed in her room, snuggle her in close with her head resting on my chest, then offer the bottle again. If she can get her hand inside my top and touch my skin as she feeds then she is happy. I have managed to wean her from the night time feed now, she will happily take it or leave it.

I haven't tried yet for the morning feed, firstly because I don't always want to get up and go downstairs to warm a bottle at 4 or 5am, and if she has a feed from me she will go back to sleep for another couple of hours almost straight away. Secondly, because if I keep one feed going I will still continue to produce milk for her for as long as necessary, and by reducing the number of feeds gradually then my milk will reduce accordingly, reducing the risk of engorgement which can be quite uncomfortable.

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2010

I think you should continue letting him breastfeed till you are ready to give it up (and if it coincides with your child's wishes, then great).

I breastfed my son till he was 22 months and it was only because of the fact that one day, he chomped down and it hurt so much (and it hurt again and again, and then I realised I was pregnant - and we're 4 months preg now!).

He didn't want to stop (and it was really a comfort thing because he was by then on sippy cups and could even drink from the normal cups that we drink from). I kept telling him that 'mummy ouch ouch' and kept that up for about a few weeks. He still likes 'holding the boob' and sticking his hand down my top but over the last week or so he's taken to sleeping 'with daddy' (ie, he used to up till a week ago, have to go to sleep with me, and his hand would be on the boob and he'd be twiddling it!!). So he's learning. He seems to think sleeping with daddy's 'cool' (and I'm glad coz my boobs need a rest till 6 months from now when we breastfeed again with no 2!!).

You need to be mentally prepared to give up. I would say if you can go till he's 2, go for it!! :)

Zvoncica - posted on 04/19/2010

I have a 6,5 yo son and an almost 3 yo daughter. I stopped nursing my son at age 3, and my daughter at age 2,5. I really loved the whole nursing process.
I had to go back to work when my baby was 7 months old, both times. At that time, they were both ready for fruit meals and vegetable soup meals, so I did not have to pump milk for them while at work.
From that moment, at age 7 months, to the end, I nursed them both in the morning, late afternoon (when I got home from work), before sleep, and once during the night (if baby woke up for some reason). Of course, when they were older than one year, they had other meals as well, nursing was just extra food
I loved every moment of it. My kids were happy, and so was I. it was MY moment of absolute peace, meditation, it was the best ever moment of being a mom. My kids are both healthy (never been sick), happy, independent and intelligent, for their age.

Anyway, if you feel you have to succumb to pressure (even if I don't really understand why in the first place, but will take your word for it), do it slowly, and according to your kid's behavior. Every kid is different. Here is my experience.

I weaned my son in just a couple of days, at age 3, and it was no problem for him, even if he was against it. He loved our cuddle-nursing time. I simply took half a lemon, and touched my nipple with it. He made a face and looked at me quizzically. I told him my breast broke down (I used the word I use for kids' battery operated toys, so he could understand). At first, my son answered with hope in his eyes "daddy will fix it, won't he?" (just like daddy fixes his toys), I said "no, daddy can't fix it this time". I did the same thing a couple of times more, during the next few days, with the same explanation, after he made the face, and he never asked again. But, for about a month, he liked to touch my breast before going to sleep, and I let him. And then it was over…. No crying….

My daughter's weaning, at age 2,5, did not go that easy. I also used half a lemon on her, but she understood it as something not-so-permanent, and it was obvious she will not be fooled easily. So I decided to wean her first from evening/night nursing, using the same method, while during the day my breast was "working properly". First couple of nights, she took longer to fall asleep, and cried a little, but I used lemon over and over until she asked no more, and got the point that breast mysteriously breaks down during dark part of the day… and in the morning she got her share, as long as she wanted….
After our first such night, and our first such morning, she made no problem the next evening, even tough I had to use lemon on her (she did not want to take my word for it :-)
She understood soon enough that she will get to my breast when she wakes up in the morning, and adjusted quickly. And we both loved our morning time, before I had to go to work.
When we got used to this routine (no nursing during evening/night, and nursing in the morning), where she slept perfectly during the whole night, and if she woke up I would offer her just water (DID NOT have to use lemon on her any more), (it took about a month to call it routine), I decided to take her off the morning nursing too. By this time she was more ready to accept that my breast broke down all the way, and does not work any more…
Like my son, she also got to the habit to touch my breast before going to sleep, and I let her. It lasted two months, and than it was over….

Hope this helps.
Sunny regards :-)

Tatiana - posted on 04/19/2010

Please don't let ANYONE make you feel like you need to ween your son. I tried on and off with my now 20 month old when I finally weened him a month ago he just went with it. He asked for it a couple times, but understood and didn't throw any tantrums. Prior to weening him I was nursing him more that my 7 month old (yes I was nursing them both). It got out of control, with him and one day I made it a point to quit and he did...I was truly surprised. Breast is best and there is no reason why you should give into any pressure especially if he's only nursing twice a day. If possible explain your feelings to your husband and hopefully he's understand. The AAP recommends nursing till age two if possible. The only reason why I stopped is because it was getting out of control with the two babies. Good luck to you!

Wendy - posted on 04/18/2010

If possible remind your husband of the benefits of breastfeeding. My son is 2 1/2 still breastfeeding and has never been sick.... ask your husband why he wants to take this great benefit away from his son..