Please Help Mothers!!!!!!!

Adina - posted on 06/21/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Dear God Help Me......So im sitting here in tears. My gorgeous 17month old son is in the bed crying and screaming. This is my 1st night trying to put him to sleep without nursing. I tried laying with him with a sippy cup and animal.....no good. Now i have his dad in there trying to soothe him and im too scared to peek in. I feel so sad....I love him so much but I can no longer walk around like a zombie all day. Also we have been co sleeping with him and I know he will never sleep on his own until he stops needing my breast to sleep. He can go through the day without nursing but this bedtime thing is turning out horrid. #heartbroken. I think I may just go give him sum milk soon if his dad cant suffice.

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Ania - posted on 06/22/2012

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Do it step by step....eliminate one night nursing at a time it will be less traumatic. I started like you...putting my son to bed without nursing, but I would still get uo at night and would go to his crib to nurse him, but I would not pick him up. I would lean over he would get up to nurse and then he would lay down on his own and fall asleep on his own. That was my way, you know the best what your routine is and try to take it slow, divide this in segments...it will take longer, but your baby will not be this unhappy

Lori - posted on 06/21/2012

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This is a very hard thing to do. And the first time trying to put the LO down without nursing is ALWAYS the hardest. I have a 19 month old who I am just now trying to cut down on nursing for naps. She has had the habit of waking after 30 to 45 minutes and wanting to nurse, then sleeping another hour. The first day I tried to NOT nurse in the middle of the nap led to 20 minutes of crying/screaming before she went back to sleep. What I did was pick her up, give her a kiss, and lay her back down in her crib and tell her "you need to go back to sleep now". Then I started singing the songs I usually sing while I nurse her to sleep. She was mad and screamed for a while, but I just kept singing and refused to put her to the breast. I told her, it's not time for mommy milk, it's time for sleeping. The following day it only too 8 minutes. It's now been several weeks and sometimes she'll sleep a solid 2 hours during nap time. Other times she'll wake in the middle of her nap and I'll have to go in and sing to her to put her back down. It's a process, but it's getting better. She's also getting slightly better about waking during the night.

Are you familiar with Dr. Jay Gordons sleep method? He's an attachment parenting supporter and has a method of night weaning that has worked well for many moms that I know. And his method involves continuing to co-sleep with your LO.... if that's what you want to do of course. I am assuming you're talking about walking around like a zombie all day because of how often he wakes during the night..... read this link.... I hope it helps.

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleepp...

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Adina - posted on 06/22/2012

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So last night his dad was able to get him to sleep. Actually even faster than I ever do nursing, This is such a big step, Im so proud of us and our team work. Im going to explore more methods to try from this point. Thank u ladies so much.

Louise - posted on 06/22/2012

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You are doing the right thing although listening to the little one cry for you is heartbreaking. You are trying to break him of two habits here not one. Think which one you want to get rid of first and concerntrate on that. If it is the nursing then lay with him until he falls asleep and work on that habit first. Once that is cracked work on the harder habit of co sleeping this takes about three days to crack. Teaching a child to sleep alone is heartbreaking if it is all they are used to and very emotionally straining to achieve. But saying that a weeks worth of tears now is better than years of broken sleep and disturbed nights with kids coming and going.

A friend of mine has a 9 year old and 5 year old that still come into her room in the middle of the night. I have never co slept with my kids from day one they went into the nursery and all three have been very good strong sleepers that can sleep through fireworks, and industrial lorries reverseing! It is important to establish independant sleeping as early as you can for the future. Very difficult to achieve but worth it. Good luck! x

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