Question about the rules of this community - if any at all?

Melissa - posted on 03/03/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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I want to make sure I'm in the right spot for support.

This is "Breastfeeding Moms" community, not "Supplementing Moms" community. I'm wondering why it's a place for formula feeding advice? I'm not sure it's very encouraging for a struggling momma to go in a BF support group and see formula recommended for things other than issues that are medical necessary. Especially to get more sleep.... Please advise if I'm in the wrong group as I would love to see an exclusive breastfeeding group where formula is only supported for medical reasons.

I'm not saying I'm not supportive of mothers that choose differently, I just would prefer not to see "Supplementing is okay" mentality given to a mother that is struggling with normal breastfed baby behavior.

For instance, I am a member of another community on another site and these are the rules:
*****************************
We are a Pro-Breastfeeding community, designed to educate, encourage and support other women through their breastfeeding journey. Our members are:

* Currently Breastfeeding
* Pregnant and Planning on Breastfeeding
* Experienced, here to offer their support

Any advice that contradicts or discourages the advice of the La Leche League (LLL) or the World Health Organization (WHO) will not be given (or tolerated).

Call 1-877-4-LALECHE (1-877-525-3243) for 24 hour toll-free breastfeeding helpline services in the US.

"Exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants.
Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding
up to 2 years of age or beyond. "
~ from the World Health Organization Exclusive Breastfeeding Policy

We do not support supplementing with human milk substitutes or giving up for any reason (unless absolutely medically necessary), and we do not accept the following excuses:

* "I want my body back."
* "It's too much work"
* "I want more sleep" etc...

Breastfeeding is not a "choice", and will not be presented as such in this community. It is your child's birthright, and your responsibility as a Mother. We are all here because we know that babies were born to be breastfed, and we will all do our damnedest to ensure that every one of us is successful.

You are a strong woman, and you CAN do it. You just need to believe in yourself, and we're here to help.

We fully support and encourage all mothers to eliminate their reliance on supplementing with inferior human milk substitutes and return to 100% breastmilk. If your goal is to get your baby back on the breast, we welcome you with open arms, you can succeed!
***********************************
I am hoping to find a place like that. Thank you!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

and to everyone who thinks she is harsh.. just read what she put on her new group... here it is...



We are a breastfeeding community, designed to educate, encourage and support each other. We accept mommies to be who are interested in breastfeeding, mommies who are currently breastfeeding and experienced breastfeeding mommas here to give advice to others. We follow the advice of the La Leche League (LLL) & the World Health Organization (WHO) and any advice given that goes against this will not be tolerated. We do not support supplementing with human milk substitutes or giving up for any reason (unless absolutely medically necessary), and we do not accept any excuses for giving up (unless absolutely medically necessary). Breastfeeding is not a "choice", it is every. single. baby's. birth-RIGHT. It is your responsibility as a Mother. We are all here to support one another in this journey that can be simple for some and very difficult for others. We are here to help you! If you are currently supplementing but would like to get your baby back to breast or 100% breast milk, we welcome you! You can do this!!!!

Alison - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Melissa:



Quoting Debbie:




Quoting Alison:





Quoting Chelsea:

I give my daughter a bottle of formula every once in awhile BUT I'M STILL A BREASTFEEDING MOM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY BREASTFEED ONCE A DAY, IT STILL IS BREASTFEEDING!









Bravo!  :)













I second that! I am living in Canada and I am blessed with a 1 year maternaty leave and so I am able to be my daughter's source of food for that year without having to pump at work etc. I feel for those poor moms who don't have the luxury of an extended maternity leave and have to leave their babies after 6 or 7 weeks. I applaud those who are able to pump enough at work to still EBF. I know myself that I am not a very successful pumper and I don't know if I would be able to do what they do.








I think we should honour the fact that they have BF for the amount of time that they have and that they continue to BF as possible. If they have to supplement with formula so be it. They should be able to ask their questions here without being persecuted!









No one is being persecuted.  No where have I ever said they were a bad mother.  I just think that the "easy" way isn't the "only" way.






 






You are so blessed to have off so long with your child.  We get 6 weeks and possibly a few more if we have the vacation time and it's hard but we make it work!





 



I don't think anyone is necessarily taking an "easy" way.  We all know the benefits of breastfeeding and everyone knows the longer you do it, the better it is. 



The fact is, breastfeeding IS a choice that everyone has to make for themselves and their baby.  The bottom line is a happy mother fosters a happy baby and if a woman is feeling that its time to wean or that they want to start supplementing with a little bit of formula so that they can create a better situation, there is nothing wrong with that....no one is shirking their responsibilities as a mother...they are just as good as mothers who breastfeed soley until their children are three because WE ARE ALL HERE TO MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS WE CAN FOR THE HEALTH OF OUR BABIES BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM.  No decision regarding our children should be considered an "easy" way out.



One reason I come to this ccommunity is to get a VARIETY of opinions...I don't come to get the same old advice that I've already heard a million times and read in all the breastfeeding books and seen on every website out there.  I want to hear from different mothers and their different experiences and hear different opinions and then go forth from there and make my own decision.  Of course, there will be people I don't agree with, but it's not necessarily "Bad Advice" because that advice MAY work for another mother.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

50 Comments

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Melissa - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Karin:

I skimmed over all comments since the original post and I feel strangely embarrased by many of the people involved. Although argueing is not the intent, that's exactly what it's turned out to be! When people believe that their way is the only way, they try to change the mindset of others (with the intent of doing good). Unfortunately, most people as adults will not change their opinions/beliefs....it's like beating a dead horse. I guess it seems like preaching and just pisses people off. Sort of like when a person of Faith preaches to a Non-believer. With that said, let's move on!

I have nursed my 9 month old son since birth (no formula) and early on I did want to stop. My son had trouble latching, my nipples were bleeding, and I was sleep deprived/exhausted. I did not give up and after a few weeks (and 2 trips to the lactation consultant) the pain went away and it was smooth sailing.


Good job momma! :)  I know, I think if one more person comes in here and says I'm attacking someone I'm gonna throw my computer against the wall *giggles*  It's like trying to sharpen a ball point pen in a pencil sharpener - all it will do is make a mess.

Karin - posted on 03/05/2009

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I skimmed over all comments since the original post and I feel strangely embarrased by many of the people involved. Although argueing is not the intent, that's exactly what it's turned out to be! When people believe that their way is the only way, they try to change the mindset of others (with the intent of doing good). Unfortunately, most people as adults will not change their opinions/beliefs....it's like beating a dead horse. I guess it seems like preaching and just pisses people off. Sort of like when a person of Faith preaches to a Non-believer. With that said, let's move on!



I have nursed my 9 month old son since birth (no formula) and early on I did want to stop. My son had trouble latching, my nipples were bleeding, and I was sleep deprived/exhausted. I did not give up and after a few weeks (and 2 trips to the lactation consultant) the pain went away and it was smooth sailing.

Melissa - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Jill:

Breastfeeding went GREAT with both of my sons...until I went back to work full-time at two months. I do not wish for any mother to have to work full-time, but I have no choice. When my now 7 mo was about 4 months old, we really started to have trouble nursing. He did well in the morning when my breasts were very full, but not in the evening. Bottom line, he was getting three bottles a day at daycare, and was getting used to not having to work so hard to eat, so when it came time to nurse, he would get frustrated and cry constantly, and I would get frustrated. I continued to pump and bottle feed for another month and a half, and THAT IS NOT EASY! Finally I made the decision to quit completely, and we are a much happier family. Do I fully support breastfeeding? ABSOLUTELY. I think women who don't even try are being selfish. If I have a third child I will DEFINITELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT breastfeed him/her for as long as possible, and I will probably change some methods to hopefully make it more successful. I am confident that if I wasn't working full-time I'd still be nursing, but that's just the way it has to be. I believe some women give up to quickly because they have underestimated how difficult it can be, but please don't demean or belittle those who honestly do all they can to nurse their babies as long as possible, but end up supplementing or quitting all together. Thank you to all who have commented!


Hi Jill!



I understand completely where you're coming from.  No one is DEMEANING or BELITTLING anyone here.  I have a 6 month old that is the hardest to nurse right now.  Oh my goodness is it difficult.  Why?  Because I too went back to work at 7 weeks PP and pumped for her.  Then I got pregnant with #3 and my supply started to dwindle.  I was scared to death we'd have to suppliment with formula until I came across MilkShare.com.  We now receive donor milk from wonderful giving mothers.  Now she's mad my milk doesn't come out as fast and isn't as much.  I still nurse her at night all night if she chooses and right before bed and on weekends.  I can only pump one ounce but I still pump that one ounce.



But that's my point... this other community that I started would never tell a mother to suppliment until that was an absolute LAST resort.  I'm not saying you made a bad choice at all, but I'm stating that this other community would be a place to talk about how to increase milk supply while pumping and also putting a mom in touch with other moms who could donate to her.  My point is that there are options and formula (IMO and in the case of this community I started) would only be a last resort after mom has exhausted all other options.

Jill - posted on 03/05/2009

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Breastfeeding went GREAT with both of my sons...until I went back to work full-time at two months. I do not wish for any mother to have to work full-time, but I have no choice. When my now 7 mo was about 4 months old, we really started to have trouble nursing. He did well in the morning when my breasts were very full, but not in the evening. Bottom line, he was getting three bottles a day at daycare, and was getting used to not having to work so hard to eat, so when it came time to nurse, he would get frustrated and cry constantly, and I would get frustrated. I continued to pump and bottle feed for another month and a half, and THAT IS NOT EASY! Finally I made the decision to quit completely, and we are a much happier family. Do I fully support breastfeeding? ABSOLUTELY. I think women who don't even try are being selfish. If I have a third child I will DEFINITELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT breastfeed him/her for as long as possible, and I will probably change some methods to hopefully make it more successful. I am confident that if I wasn't working full-time I'd still be nursing, but that's just the way it has to be. I believe some women give up to quickly because they have underestimated how difficult it can be, but please don't demean or belittle those who honestly do all they can to nurse their babies as long as possible, but end up supplementing or quitting all together. Thank you to all who have commented!

Melissa - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Carly:



I understand completely where you are coming from Melissa.  A group for Breastfeeding Mums should be for questions about BREASTFEEDING where you can get answers and advice for BREASTFEEDING.  It should be for mums who honestly want to do everything possible to continue their breastfeeding relationship, especially in those crucial first 6 months.  Formula is only the solution when all other available options have been exhausted and the baby's or mother's health is at risk.






Count me in for any new group supporting that approach.





Thank you!  I'd love to see you join.  I'm not leaving this group.  This group is amazing with wonderful advice in many cases!

Melissa - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Brenda:



To be honest, I believe after saying that I will also be changing groups.  Just reading what some others have posted has made me very upset.  No one seems to understand the point of the question that was asked, and I don't think I will stay with this board afterall.  I think everyone took the defensive for no reason, Melissa was not being rude and was not being judgemental to anyone.  She was asking a completely valid question in a courteous manner and everyone attacked her for it.   I for one have posted little to this board for similar reasons, every thread is laced with weaning, supplementing, and non related advice to actually trying to breastfeed.  However, should I find it necessary to supplement or need weaning advice, I will know where to come for it.  Thanks for the chance to know you guys.





Bring it on Brenda!!! :)

Melissa - posted on 03/05/2009

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Quoting Tiffany:

I just started "supplementing" with formula most of the day because my daugther is almost 11 months old and refuses to nurse except in the mornings- does that mean that I shouldn't be a part of this community even though I breatfed exclusively for 10 months? It's not my fault my daughter is self weaning. There are times when you need to supplement, like in my situation when she is still too young for cow's milk.


Of course not!  I think that this is a common problem for a lot of mommies out there and would love to have you join the other community if you're interested in getting baby back to breast.  It's extremely uncommon for a baby to wean before a year.  If you've tried EVERYTHING to get her back to breast and are unable to, what else can you do?  You did amazing nursing for 11 months (and still are!) and I think you should be commended for that!

Itsamystery - posted on 03/05/2009

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I haven't read the original conversation(s) where a mother was given advice to supplement (which one/s is/are it/they?) but I do agree on a general level that it's bad advice to suggest supplementing to a mother who is trying to establish breastfeeding.

However, that said, I always liked that 'weaning' questions are welcome this group. Weaning is part of the breastfeeding relationship too, just as the process of death is part of life (sorry for the morbid analogy). It's something that most of us need some counseling or advice on at some point. It's not always possible for all mothers to do baby-led weaning. Whether for physical, medical, financial or emotional reasons, some mothers need to reduce or stop breastfeeding before their child would like. Having this place where one can ask for advice and guidance from others with experience is very valuable. Weaning can be a difficult time for mother and baby and it's so important for mothers to be able to hear from other experienced mothers about how to do weaning gently and lovingly. If we are very 'militant' and insist that all mothers breastfeed as much as their child demands until the child is two years of age and beyond, we may turn away mothers who are desperate for advice and need to wean because of their personal circumstances. I like that someone can post about weaning and get a spectrum of support ranging from advice to reconsider weaning, to reminders of the advantages of breastfeeding a toddler, to 'this is what worked for me when I weaned by 22 month old'.

PS I'm referring to weaning at an appropriate age, not in the first 6 months and preferably not before 18 months to two years. I would not like to see posts supporting early weaning in this group.

Carly - posted on 03/04/2009

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I understand completely where you are coming from Melissa.  A group for Breastfeeding Mums should be for questions about BREASTFEEDING where you can get answers and advice for BREASTFEEDING.  It should be for mums who honestly want to do everything possible to continue their breastfeeding relationship, especially in those crucial first 6 months.  Formula is only the solution when all other available options have been exhausted and the baby's or mother's health is at risk.



Count me in for any new group supporting that approach.

Tiffany - posted on 03/04/2009

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I just started "supplementing" with formula most of the day because my daugther is almost 11 months old and refuses to nurse except in the mornings- does that mean that I shouldn't be a part of this community even though I breatfed exclusively for 10 months? It's not my fault my daughter is self weaning. There are times when you need to supplement, like in my situation when she is still too young for cow's milk.

Brenda - posted on 03/04/2009

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To be honest, I believe after saying that I will also be changing groups.  Just reading what some others have posted has made me very upset.  No one seems to understand the point of the question that was asked, and I don't think I will stay with this board afterall.  I think everyone took the defensive for no reason, Melissa was not being rude and was not being judgemental to anyone.  She was asking a completely valid question in a courteous manner and everyone attacked her for it.   I for one have posted little to this board for similar reasons, every thread is laced with weaning, supplementing, and non related advice to actually trying to breastfeed.  However, should I find it necessary to supplement or need weaning advice, I will know where to come for it.  Thanks for the chance to know you guys.

Brenda - posted on 03/04/2009

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I for one agree with you.  There should be a second group that is for weaning/supplementing with formula because they are two completely seperate issues requiring different experiences and advice.  A breastfeeding group, in my opinion should focus on that, and helping moms specifically with breastfeeding.  I think this group should be about encouraging moms who are breastfeeding, and helping moms get past problems. 



There is nothing wrong wtih supplementing, and nothing wrong with weaning, but I believe it is a valid point that this should be a breastfeeding group and not a everything else.  I think that all moms deserve support and when you are looking for a "breastfeeding" community it should be about that.  And I just as much think that there should be a group for weaning and for switching/supplementing with formula.  A group should be set up with these things in mind.  I for one am a mom that started out with breastfeeding and had to switch to formula due to medical issues. 



I have no problem with formula, however I would like to be able to ask questions about breastfeeding my newborn due in May without everyone telling me to just supplement with formula.  It can be very discouraging when you are trying to avoid supplementing.



I do not think that anyone is being judgmental at all.  Melissa is asking quite a valid question.  I just think that these issues are two seperate to be tackled in the same group, and agree with that.  If you are seeking weaning advice, there should be a place to go for that.  If you are seeking to switch to formula, there should be a place for that as well.  I honestly believe they are not the same place as a breastfeeding community. 



Of course since this group is established, I am afraid it is impossible to do that at this point.  I would be more inclined to believe that perhaps someone needs to create another group, for exclusive breastfeeding and make these rules as clear as the example Melissa has provided.

Jacquelyn - posted on 03/04/2009

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It is absolutely safe and acceptable to supplement breast milk with formula, so never feel guilty if you must do so. The goal, no matter what the feeding method, is to make sure your baby is well fed, nourished and thriving.

Debbie - posted on 03/04/2009

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thanks for the info Emma.....I'm changing groups.



So many people missed the point that Melissa was asking what's the deal with this group and checking to see if it's where she felt she fit in. I can't believe how badly attacked she got.



I really don't like the 'tone' this group has made

[deleted account]

if you dont like the group then stay out of it.. why you had to post this question i dont know.. put up or shut up!!! thats what i say.... from a supplementing mother.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Gillian:

Melissa,

I exclusively BF my 10.5 month old (plus solids), and plan to until he is at least 12 months. I have dealt with damaged nipples since my son was 2 days old, and they probably won't heal till he weans. I have also dealt with low milk production, etc., but have persevered and haven't had to supplement.

That being said, if someone is having difficulty, and thinking that they may have to supplement in order for their child to get enough nourishment, they should know that that is okay, and be given advice as to how to get back to breastfeeding as quickly as possible, which may be a break of a few days. I know many moms that consider themselves "breast-feeders", but only fed for 3 months. While I don't like it when people want formula for convenience reasons, joining this group may let mothers see that even if they offer formula, they can still breastfeed. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and the more breast milk the child can get, the better. I think taking the more extreme approach, may scare people away. If someone is having difficulty, and wants total breastfeed support, and not supplementing, they can add that to their question.

Society was so pro-formula for so long, I think any encouragement we can offer for any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial.


OH I agree with you!!!  I'm not trying to be extreme at all.  I'm just again, trying to understand why it would be okay to offer supplimentation advice to someone if it's not medically needed?  Telling moms that just one bottle is okay is not good advice for a momma that wants to suceed with breastfeeding.  You can't just "get a break" for a few days and then think that baby will be fine with that along with your supply.  Sure, some babies will be okay with that but most won't.  I'm all for support but I'm also for being real about the risks when advice like that is given. 



Believe me, if a child's going to starve, by all means, give the baby formula.  But if it's because mom is tired or mom doesn't want to - to give advice that says "That's okay" is just wrong IMO.



Motherhood isn't easy.  Breastfeeding (as YOU know) can be difficult and painful.  But if formula wasn't around, what would they do?   Breastfeeding is just tiny little part of motherhood.  If that's a choice that a mother makes, fine and dandy, but if we're told "Just one bottle" often enough - it because the norm and to me, that's just not OK.



Thank you and good job doing what you do for so long momma :)



 

Gillian - posted on 03/04/2009

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Melissa,

I exclusively BF my 10.5 month old (plus solids), and plan to until he is at least 12 months. I have dealt with damaged nipples since my son was 2 days old, and they probably won't heal till he weans. I have also dealt with low milk production, etc., but have persevered and haven't had to supplement.

That being said, if someone is having difficulty, and thinking that they may have to supplement in order for their child to get enough nourishment, they should know that that is okay, and be given advice as to how to get back to breastfeeding as quickly as possible, which may be a break of a few days. I know many moms that consider themselves "breast-feeders", but only fed for 3 months. While I don't like it when people want formula for convenience reasons, joining this group may let mothers see that even if they offer formula, they can still breastfeed. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and the more breast milk the child can get, the better. I think taking the more extreme approach, may scare people away. If someone is having difficulty, and wants total breastfeed support, and not supplementing, they can add that to their question.

Society was so pro-formula for so long, I think any encouragement we can offer for any amount of breastfeeding is beneficial.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Katie:

Hi Melissa! Why don't you start your own group? I agree that he term "militant" has awful connotations, and does suggest judgement on others. I also empathise that you'd like to go to a forum where the majority of people are able to understand fully your experiences of exclusive breastfeeding, and the passion you so clearly have to provide the best start for your baby no matter what. This in no way means that you are "persecuting" or "attacking" those who choose to supplement! Why don't we set up a group ourselves? (I vote you Boss Lady Admin.!!!) Perhaps 'passionate' instead of 'militant'? Or something else that sums up the mood! I'd most certainly join, and really relish having a space where I can chat / get advice and offer advice to women who share similar experiences of motherhood. Go for it!!


You rock.  That is all.  Stay tuned.  I added you to my COM :)

Katie - posted on 03/04/2009

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Hi Melissa! Why don't you start your own group? I agree that he term "militant" has awful connotations, and does suggest judgement on others. I also empathise that you'd like to go to a forum where the majority of people are able to understand fully your experiences of exclusive breastfeeding, and the passion you so clearly have to provide the best start for your baby no matter what. This in no way means that you are "persecuting" or "attacking" those who choose to supplement! Why don't we set up a group ourselves? (I vote you Boss Lady Admin.!!!) Perhaps 'passionate' instead of 'militant'? Or something else that sums up the mood! I'd most certainly join, and really relish having a space where I can chat / get advice and offer advice to women who share similar experiences of motherhood. Go for it!!

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2009

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I find it so difficult to understand how something as natural as breasfeeding can spark such conflict, i am 23 and classed as a young mum. I am the only person i know that breastfeeds, when i talk to my friends about the fact that they dont bf they say its because they didnt get the support they needed and i agree that places like this should in no way encourage formula to be given. It is just giving people the answers they are looking for when they are at there wits end. Women will think "Oh ill just give them this one bottle and brfore they no it they are totally bottle feeding.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Anna:



Melissa,






I have exclusively breasfed my little boy since birth, and will do anything imaginable to avoid using formula.  I checked over at the other militant breastfeeding group and while I personally am militant about my own breastfeeding, I prefer to gently encourage and provide support to moms who are struggling, rather than pushing my beliefs on them.  It sounds like that is what you prefer as well.  I would hate to see other moms like you who exclusively breastfeed go to another site because this one welcomes both exclusive and part-time BFing moms.  Your knowledge and determination will be an asset to this group, and maybe off-set some of the other opinions by adding options to the moms looking for support.  That way they can take all of it in and decide what is best for them.





Thank you Anna!  I truly appreciate that.  I joined the other group but by no means am leaving this one :)  I'll just give advice like everyone else!



 



Thanks again.

Anna - posted on 03/04/2009

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Melissa,



I have exclusively breasfed my little boy since birth, and will do anything imaginable to avoid using formula.  I checked over at the other militant breastfeeding group and while I personally am militant about my own breastfeeding, I prefer to gently encourage and provide support to moms who are struggling, rather than pushing my beliefs on them.  It sounds like that is what you prefer as well.  I would hate to see other moms like you who exclusively breastfeed go to another site because this one welcomes both exclusive and part-time BFing moms.  Your knowledge and determination will be an asset to this group, and maybe off-set some of the other opinions by adding options to the moms looking for support.  That way they can take all of it in and decide what is best for them.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Thanks you two!  Glad you understand where I'm coming from.  By no means was this ever an attack on anyone - just trying to understand.

Jenna - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Jennifer:

Our society made BF a choice and not a responsibility. Luckily, the tides are changing and more women are turning to BF to provide better short and long term health benefits to their babies' lives.

At some point, women wanted more freedom from child-rearing and formula became the norm. Glad to see BF becoming the norm and fewer mothers willing to give their precious babies chemical concoctions.

I think Melissa has made some very valid points, but sense I did not start this group, I don't feel I have the right to change the format.

However, I would love to see more BF mother's support BF more and formula less and to offer more suggestions and support to help other mothers continue and suceed with BF. (barring medical neccessity)



I agree. In particular with this last statement. I went through hell and back to exclusively breastfeed. Although as someone else brought up...I too am from Canada which we are blessed to have a year long maternity leave.

Jennifer - posted on 03/04/2009

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Our society made BF a choice and not a responsibility. Luckily, the tides are changing and more women are turning to BF to provide better short and long term health benefits to their babies' lives.



At some point, women wanted more freedom from child-rearing and formula became the norm. Glad to see BF becoming the norm and fewer mothers willing to give their precious babies chemical concoctions.



I think Melissa has made some very valid points, but sense I did not start this group, I don't feel I have the right to change the format.



However, I would love to see more BF mother's support BF more and formula less and to offer more suggestions and support to help other mothers continue and suceed with BF. (barring medical neccessity)

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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It was a simple question, that's all.  I think any breastfeeding advice is great advice.  I also think that any amount of breastmilk is better than none.  I just find it odd that people would give out advice that goes against breastfeeding in a breastfeeding community.

Jodie - posted on 03/04/2009

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i think its good your expressing your feelings however breast feeding is a choice i am not anti bottle feeding but i am pro breast feeding i will support anyone who needs my help i am a breast feeding mentor in england an i will never turn anyone away who needs advice on bottle feeding we are all different and as parents we sometimes just need to talk to someone and get different ideas also a baby needs a happy mum not a tired stressed out mum i dont think it is helpful to dis peoples advice if you dont like then dont read it

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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I guess I just didn't think that this community would be such a variety then. I was shocked to come in here and find advice that goes against breastfeeding.  It's like joining a comminity for healthy living and people are advertising McDonalds fried foods and watching them tell you not to exercise.  (No, I'm not comparing formula to McDonalds before anyone goes down that road, lol)



I disagree that breastfeeding is a choice.  I don't believe that it is.  A lot of people disagree with that and that's okay.  *shrug*  I found what I needed to know.  Thanks

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Lauren:

There is a Circle of Moms group called Militant Breastfeeding Mommas it's much smaller but it pretty much follows those rules.


Ouch.  Thanks for the info.  I can't stand that terminology.

[deleted account]

There is a Circle of Moms group called Militant Breastfeeding Mommas it's much smaller but it pretty much follows those rules.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Debbie:



Quoting Alison:




Quoting Chelsea:

I give my daughter a bottle of formula every once in awhile BUT I'M STILL A BREASTFEEDING MOM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY BREASTFEED ONCE A DAY, IT STILL IS BREASTFEEDING!







Bravo!  :)










I second that! I am living in Canada and I am blessed with a 1 year maternaty leave and so I am able to be my daughter's source of food for that year without having to pump at work etc. I feel for those poor moms who don't have the luxury of an extended maternity leave and have to leave their babies after 6 or 7 weeks. I applaud those who are able to pump enough at work to still EBF. I know myself that I am not a very successful pumper and I don't know if I would be able to do what they do.






I think we should honour the fact that they have BF for the amount of time that they have and that they continue to BF as possible. If they have to supplement with formula so be it. They should be able to ask their questions here without being persecuted!





No one is being persecuted.  No where have I ever said they were a bad mother.  I just think that the "easy" way isn't the "only" way.



 



You are so blessed to have off so long with your child.  We get 6 weeks and possibly a few more if we have the vacation time and it's hard but we make it work!

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Alissa:



Sometimes supplementing with formula is the only way to make it work. If a mother is trying to make breastfeeding work for her and her baby, all possible suggestions should be considered so that she may make the best decision. I think that limiting allowed responses would really only limit the possible ways a mother could make breastfeeding something to stick with. I'd hate someone to give up nursing altogether rather than supplement and make it more doable.





I agree 100% with you but that's not what I'm seeing in this community.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting [no name]:



Hi,






I don't know where you're from, but the Australian Breastfeeding Association has a forum dedicated to breastfeeding if you're interested.






http://www.lrc.asn.au/forum/






 





Thank you! I actually have a great print out from the ABA about caregivers and breastfeeding that I printed out for our pump room at work.  Thank you!

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Jacquelyn:

Just Because some mothers had to start supplementing doesn't mean that they don't have knowledge about breastfeeding. you could learn from none breastfeeding mothers as well.

breastfeeding is a choice lets hope that mothers will make and educated decision and we should allow them to consider all options.


Believe me, I know this and believe this.  I just disagree with suggesting that "just one bottle of formula" won't hurt.  This isn't about judging, it's about advice that goes against breastfeeding.

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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Quoting Amber:



I am due at the end of July and plan on breastfeeding only.  I personally don't want supplementing to be offered to me.  I like the fact that Melissa's other group has those guidelines.  Maybe I should join that group too?  If you don't mind Melissa, what group are you referring to?





Hi Amber!  This community is on a great site called LIVEJOURNAL.com.  The actual link to the community is http://community.livejournal.com/breastf...




If you join, let me know your user ID!

Melissa - posted on 03/04/2009

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First of all, thanks for all your responses but I think a lot of you are missing my point.



My point is that if we're encouraging mothers to "take a break" and "get more sleep" and use formula as a convienence other than a medical necessity, I think that's bad advice.  I'm not judging anyone for their choices. I merely wanted to know if this was a "Breastfeeding Mothers" community or "Breastfeeding Moms Community where Supplimentation is OK for whatever reason" community.  I wondered if there was another community on here where the rules of the LLL and WHO are followed and formula feeding is not just "OK" because mom is tired.  That advice given to a new mom is detrimental to a nursing relationship. 



I don't think formula is evil.  I just choose to believe that supplimenting for convienence isn't a great idea.



And it's not about choosing to read certain threads.  If there were a disclaimer in the title that says "Question about supplimenting..." then I would most likely read it too in order to see if I can help with pro-breastfeeding advice vs. offering formula.



Look - I understand low supply.  I understand situations that warrants formula.  I understand pumping and I understand all the issues that go with nursing.  I just don't agree with that and was hoping to find a group that was more supportive in that area.



In many cases, there are other options other than formula.  In my case, there's donor milk through MilkShare.com.  It's out there, we just need to enourage moms not to give up so easily and certain phases will pass.

Debbie - posted on 03/03/2009

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Quoting Alison:



Quoting Chelsea:

I give my daughter a bottle of formula every once in awhile BUT I'M STILL A BREASTFEEDING MOM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY BREASTFEED ONCE A DAY, IT STILL IS BREASTFEEDING!





Bravo!  :)






I second that! I am living in Canada and I am blessed with a 1 year maternaty leave and so I am able to be my daughter's source of food for that year without having to pump at work etc. I feel for those poor moms who don't have the luxury of an extended maternity leave and have to leave their babies after 6 or 7 weeks. I applaud those who are able to pump enough at work to still EBF. I know myself that I am not a very successful pumper and I don't know if I would be able to do what they do.



I think we should honour the fact that they have BF for the amount of time that they have and that they continue to BF as possible. If they have to supplement with formula so be it. They should be able to ask their questions here without being persecuted!

Alison - posted on 03/03/2009

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Quoting Chelsea:

I give my daughter a bottle of formula every once in awhile BUT I'M STILL A BREASTFEEDING MOM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY BREASTFEED ONCE A DAY, IT STILL IS BREASTFEEDING!


Bravo!  :)

Amber - posted on 03/03/2009

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I am due at the end of July and plan on breastfeeding only.  I personally don't want supplementing to be offered to me.  I like the fact that Melissa's other group has those guidelines.  Maybe I should join that group too?  If you don't mind Melissa, what group are you referring to?

Anna - posted on 03/03/2009

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I love this group because I know I can come to a place where complete strangers who have the main goal of breastfeeding will be here to support me along this life journey.  I have read the post about possibly supplementing and most of the responses said supplementing would not work anyway so why bother.  I could really tell how she was struggling with the decision, and who am I to tell her how to raise her baby?  She probably already feels guilty enough about considering it, so why would I try and make her feel worse?  I will support any woman here, not because she agrees with the way I am feeding my baby, but because this should be a positive place, not one that enforces limitations to its support.

Chelsea - posted on 03/03/2009

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I give my daughter a bottle of formula every once in awhile BUT I'M STILL A BREASTFEEDING MOM! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY BREASTFEED ONCE A DAY, IT STILL IS BREASTFEEDING!

Margot - posted on 03/03/2009

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I completely agree with Danielle. Who are you or all of us to judge other mothers for what they feel is best or for having questions about supplementing. I thought this group was called Breast Feeding Moms. If shes still breast feeding or trying to wean from Breast Feeding its all relative to the group. I know myself I have several questions that I will ask later as my baby gets older. So Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged. Remember that everyone has different life situations that we are unaware of and it's not fair to make them feel bad for their situation when you don't agree. No one is perfect.

Jacquelyn - posted on 03/03/2009

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Just Because some mothers had to start supplementing doesn't mean that they don't have knowledge about breastfeeding. you could learn from none breastfeeding mothers as well.

breastfeeding is a choice lets hope that mothers will make and educated decision and we should allow them to consider all options.

Chelseaszidik - posted on 03/03/2009

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Thank you for posting this and I would love for those rules to be adapted by the group.  I understand where you're coming from.  Danielle if this is a breastfeeding group we should be promoting breastfeeding not supporting formula that's the wrong message to be sending those who come here fo encouragment and suppport in times of trouble  I see it as being the same thing as giving breastfeeding moms formula to take home from the hospital.  Getting started and working through pain and other issues is hard enough.

Alissa - posted on 03/03/2009

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Sometimes supplementing with formula is the only way to make it work. If a mother is trying to make breastfeeding work for her and her baby, all possible suggestions should be considered so that she may make the best decision. I think that limiting allowed responses would really only limit the possible ways a mother could make breastfeeding something to stick with. I'd hate someone to give up nursing altogether rather than supplement and make it more doable.

Danielle - posted on 03/03/2009

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If you do not want to read about supplementing then do not read about that topic.

I think it is rude to ask other struggling Mom's who are breastfeeding or who are weaning to not be able to ask other Mother's questions.

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