"Self weaning"

Meagan - posted on 04/03/2011

My oldest self weaned right before he turned 15 months. Basically did "don't offer, don't refuse" It worked great!

Jo - posted on 04/03/2011

Sorry, I didn't see the bit about AS, that's difficult when you're in pain. Just to let you know, I have cerebral palsy and joint pains resulting from it (I take glucosamine for them, brilliant stuff), so I do have some idea of your dilemma, but the benefits of continuing to breast feed are huge. They will help your son for the rest of his life.

Jo - posted on 04/03/2011

Self-weaning does not occur till a minimum of 2 and a half years. The age for child led weaning is anytime after that point till 6 years old. My son is 3 years, 10 months and is only just beginning to self-wean (he asks for a bedtime feed but does not drink anything, just suckles for 2 seconds each side and then stops and tells me he does not like 'booby coffee' so I think he will quit asking altogether soon). The WHO say that a child needs breast milk for a MIMIMUM of 2 years to avoid diseases, and that's a conservative estimate. There's no way a baby as young as your son would naturally want to stop. Is there any reason why you don't want to breast feed him beyond one year? I'd encourage you to continue.

Jennifer - posted on 04/01/2011

We are still nursing at nap and bedtimes, but during the day the interest has died. We started with cereal in the morning in a small juice glass. I use the Earth's Best rice cereal and organic Vanilla Almond milk to avoid possible allergens. (I don't make it too thick, two tables spoons to 1/3 cup A. milk) He loves it. I hold the glass of course, but he just gulps it down in two breaths. At 1, he's started to eat some of my oatmeal.

Have to say I also feel good about giving him the Organic Earth's Best baby food in the jars. There are others that are in pouches, but i haven't done the research to find out if the pouches have BPAs or other plastic contaminants.

From there he took to the sippy cups. He likes to chew on the soft tipped ones. I noticed that it is near impossible to clean the hard tipped ones which creeps me out.

I'm trying to figure out how i'm supposed to help him use a spoon or fork, and for that i've found that sweet potatoes stick to the utensils long enough for him to get it in his mouth.

Sorry this went all over the place...maybe try an open cup, even with B.milk just to get him thinking of other options...

Cheryl Dawn - posted on 04/01/2011

You are already weaning (by the definition of weaning as, " you have started him on something other than your milk." Have you checked on the med's you need to take on whether or not they are safe for breastfeeding? I have information on Vicodin but don't want to say it here until I go look it up for the correct information.
Don't give him any milk until he is around two years old or older if you suspect milk allergy. Kids really don't need milk at all, they can get plenty of protein from beans and meat and calcium from broccolli and other sources. Too much rice milk is not a good idea and definitely not soy. Oh and at this point he doesn't need a bottle or a sippy. Just teach him to drink from a regular cup.

Erin - posted on 03/31/2011

Did you try having someone else give him the sippy cup or bottle so he knows that the breast option isn't on the table. My daughter took her self off the breast at 14 months. We didn't supplment with anything else. She just really liked table food.

Stephanie - posted on 03/31/2011

Both of mined weaned themselves by 15-16 months. My suggestions is to make it very gradual by cutting out a feeding until you are down to 1-2 a day and then it will be much easier on both of you.

Chellie - posted on 03/31/2011

Almond milk is probably a better choice than rice milk, almond milk has all the nutrition of almonds and a little bit of fiber. Rice milk just simply doesn't have as much nutrition because rice is not as nutrient rich as almonds are. Milk allergies are something that many kids outgrow as they get older and their bodies are able to digest the proteins better. My son is almost 21 months and still nurses often, there are SO many benefits for him and me that I just can't see quitting until he's ready. My recommendation would be to bf as long as possible! Almond milk is pretty good stuff though, if he won't take a bottle he may like a sippy cup with a spout or straw. I know my son really likes the cups that have straws in them.

Julianna E - posted on 03/31/2011

Have you tried breast milk/other liquids through straw? My son took to straws faster than sippy cups. The gradual cutting out of feedings worked best for us, though I think we may have to cold turkey cut off his last sessions. He's two and still loves nursings befor sleep.

Heather - posted on 03/30/2011

My momma's boy self weaned at 13 months. Yes I said self weaned! I didn't care how long he nursed but after he was about 13 months didn't have any interest anymore.

Amber - posted on 03/30/2011

My daughter is slightly allergic to cow's milk, and she does great with goat's milk. It has a lot of the great nutrients like cow's milk, but it is much easier to digest, and she doesn't get the congestion and circles under her eyes like she doesn't with cow's milk products. I think it is worth a shot before trying plant milks. Also, goat's milk is closer to breast milk than cow's milk chemically, and has a lower inflammatory index. You can find it at natural grocery stores, but I just get it at my local Target (they don't all carry it). Also, my daughter never self weaned like I hoped, I ended up weaning her at 2 1/2 because I got meningitis and was on a lot of pain medications and it wasn't safe to nurse. I don't think it is selfish to wean if you are in that much pain. He needs his mom to be healthy more than anything, and it is great that you committed to giving him breast milk for the first year, but he is just going to get more active, and you need to be your best to be chasing after a toddler! Good luck with everything.

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2011

I have two boys that are lactose-intolerant. We use almond milk, but I only give it once a day. I rely on goat's/ sheep's milk products for the dairy they need and it has been a wonderful substitute. Sheep's milk is closer to breast milk than anything else available. Look at a Whole Foods or Fresh Market for sheep and goat dairy products. They often let you sample their cheeses so you can get something your child will like.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 03/29/2011

I'm not sure what to say about that. I breast and bottle feed my 3 week old so daddy can have some bonding time with his little girl from time to time. My older daughter didn't really take to breast feeding or bottle feeding until she was in the hospital at 3 months and had to do both.
I had a heck of a time getting the older one to use a sippy cup at 6 months like everyone said she should- that didn't start until she was almost a year old because she saw everyone else around her age doing it. So maybe just wait a while and let peer pressure run it's course? That's what worked for my older girl (she's six) with both the sippy cup and potty training.
Good luck

Ashley - posted on 03/29/2011

Have you tried a straw cup? There are ones that are spill-proof and have a soft straw that my little one did well with. He was only breastfed as well, no bottles or anything. And maybe try to put pumped milk in the cup so it's something he's familiar with.

Arlene Wyatt - posted on 03/29/2011

My oldest daughter did wean herself at 8 mos (with NO help from me - I was devastated!!), but my younger daughter refused everything but my breast for about a year. Replacing one feeding at a time with a sippy cup when he is ready should work well.

Briana - posted on 03/29/2011

I was like you lol. I have a serious Momma's boy (only cuz Daddy is deployed lol) and he refused everything and I was desperate to wean him by 12 months because of this. Now he is 12.5 months and takes a sippy....and I want him to wean himself ;) My outlook totally changed when I thought he actually might wean

Ronnetta - posted on 03/28/2011

I nursed 3 boys and yes they are hard to wean But I did stick with it till they turned a year old and like u they didn't want nothing to do with nothing if it was me forget it. But for me I stopped cold turkey But before I did they were drinking out of a cup. U can do this every baby is different U just have to do what works for you and your son Good Luck....

Naomi - posted on 03/28/2011

I would be amazed if he self weans before 18 months. My DD was two and a half when she self weaned. I'm afraid I don't have any weaning tips but I think you need to decide whether to let him self wean (which could be a long time away) or whether you want to wean him yourself, which you might find more traumatic.

Ramona - posted on 03/28/2011

That is SO true that not many people are supportive of breastfeeding! The formula feeding crowd acts like EVERYONE breastfeeds and like there is SO MUCH societal pressure to breastfeed (not that I have an issue if you feed formula, do whatever you want), but the thing is, I think the percentages of people who stick with breastfeeding is somewhere about 32-ish%. Society pressures us to force our babies to wean and become self sufficient....except they are BABIES, not full grown adults. Studies show that breastfed children are actually MORE self confident because they know that mommy will always be there for them if they mess up! I don't know why people think that at as early as 3 months, babies should no longer have to rely on what comforts them. What a load of bull!!!! Yay those of us who ignore them!!

Celeste - posted on 03/28/2011

Gagan, that is not necessarily true. Most children will wean on their own.

Gagan - posted on 03/28/2011

I have a 11m old baby girl! Wont take a sippy and nver took bottle.I also want to wean.Bcoz if we donot stop them by a year thn we cannot weaned easily

Ali - posted on 03/28/2011

There are not a lot of breastfeeding supporters out there in the general public. Good for you for saying, "screw them", when people were trying to pressure you to wean!!

Ali - posted on 03/28/2011

My 22 month old is still nursing and I was hoping for a self-wean by 2 and it doesn't look promising so I'm considering mother guided weaning. It's a tough call, but do what's right for you and your little guy :)

Samantha - posted on 03/28/2011

My son self weaned at 14 months, I actually wanted to nurse a little longer, but he was done. Probably didn't help that I started night shift, so 4 nights a week I was gone for his bedtime nursing, Though that sounds a little extreme, "Get a night shift job to wean!" I would say just make it less available, not refusing, but not encouraging the nursing.

Sarh - posted on 03/27/2011

He eats his 3 meals a day... little porker eats a whole packet of Quaker oatmeal and then some more for breakfast alone. He also has 2 snacks. He could very possibly be nursing for comfort, but he has never taken a binkie and I am very thankful for that. He sleeps through the night.

Emily - posted on 03/27/2011

I've been told by my daughter's pediatrician that weaning is up to the child. You can help it along, by encouraging your child to eat more solid foods during the day. But I've learned that they will self wean when they're ready. My daughter is 16 months old. She self weaned from day time feedings around 12 months because she was far more interested in solid foods. But to this day, she breastfeeds at night. And even this is becoming a rarity. If your son won't take a sippy or a bottle, try a pacifier after giving him a solid meal. I discovered that sometimes, my daughter doesn't necessarily want to breastfeeding. She's just soothed by the sucking action. I hope this helps :)

Ramona - posted on 03/27/2011

I have heard Mirena has that effect on some people...it has not effected my supply and I have had it for 5 months...wonder why it does that to some people?

Karen - posted on 03/27/2011

I nursed 4 of my 5. All self-weaned. Well, actually two did. My daughter weaned at 11mos. My youngest son weaned at 2yrs. My 3 yr old began biting at 16mos, and I discovered I was pregnant again, so I weaned her at 16mos. My youngest is still going strong at 18mos. I don't think there's anything wrong with nursing past 12 mos. It's great that you want to breastfeed for that long. But if your baby is attached to you, it would probably benefit him and you if you allowed him to nurse a bit longer. But you should just do what feels comfortable for you and for him, and if that means stopping at 12 mos, then good. When you're ready to wean, you can begin to distract him when you see he wants to nurse. If it's food he wants, offer a substitute. If it's comfort he is looking for, it may be a bit harder, but try to put him off until he finds something else to distract him.

Georgia - posted on 03/27/2011

Sarh, yippie he's getting hang of the sippy!!

It is normal to feel sad about not nursing. I cried when my sons started slowing down, and cried even more when they stopped. Now that's strange for me, because I'm usually a very rational minded person and not the crying type. But I think it's a bit like you not only miss the snuggling that comes with bf, but also it's a bit like realizing "my baby is growing up!"

As for donor milk, I haven't used it myself, but it wouldn't hurt to talk to a donor centre about their procedures. The centre near me is actually IN a hospital and I've heard that they have fairly strict protocols for donor mums. So the bm would be safe. But, if you aren't comfortable with it, there's always formula.

It sounds like you really need to get back on your meds. You've done a great job and are trying to go as long as you can, but if you're starting to get new symptoms, it may be time to listen to your doctor for your own health. I know how much it hurts (emotionally) to lose that nursing bond with baby, but you can always make up for it in extra cuddles and kisses. I know it's not the same, but as Cade gets older you'll begin to learn that your relationship with him will evolve, even the ways that you maintain your bond. You won't lose it, it will just change.

The thing is, if mummy isn't happy and healthy, the baby will pick up on this and it will affect him too. The amount of pain you're enduring is not only going to put more pressure on you, but also on Cade. Hang onto bf for as long as you can, but from the sound of things it's time to start putting the exit plan into place for your sake.

I hope you can keep bf for the next 3-4 months and slowly wean, because I know how hard it is emotionally to give that up. But, you've got to do what's best for Cade AND you.

Good luck my friend!

Erica - posted on 03/27/2011

im in the same boat thanks for the post! :)

Heather - posted on 03/27/2011

Still nursing my daughter at 20 months!

Beth - posted on 03/27/2011

weaned at 17 months

Heather - posted on 03/27/2011

Put breastmilk into the sippy cup and give it to him before one of his naps instead of nursing him. Try a sippy cup with a lid that is similar to the breast, they do make them. Stay away from bottles and he will go from you to the sippy cup. I had to do this with our daughter, as she wouldn't take bottles, but when I used the sippy cup that they have at Walmart with the soft lid, Nuk or Nub or something like that, she took it! Then after a few months she took a normal Playtex sippy cup without a problem. I also gave her a little bit of juice with some water added to it and this got her liking the sweet liquid coming out of the cup!

Sarh - posted on 03/27/2011

Wow, sounds like you have had a rough journey with all the allergies! Glad you have it all figured out now, hopefully...? Thanks for the advice! :)

Summer - posted on 03/27/2011

My son is terribly allergic to both soy and Dairy and Almond milk. So he is still BF at 15 months but I have introduced a sippy for Rice Milk. Animal milk is actually closer to human milk and infants actually need cholesteral at this age as well as the extra calories and fats. But if he is allergic he is allergic. Have you tried goat milk? My oldest is allergic to cows milk and we can get goats milk thru WIC and he loves it. It is very creamy and it is easily digestible and have much fewer instances of allergies. I would try it. I think a good way to reduce nursing is to try to reduce your supply. Cabbage leaves in your bra, eating sage, peppermint and even taking Sudafed reduce your supply and make it so the baby is less interested. I would wait until 12 months for sure, but with my first I got pregnant at 9 months and even though I wanted to keep nursing I dried up and he lost interest. We introduced a bottle with goats milk and he liked that better since it came out faster. He was completely weaned by 15 months. Don't let him nurse for as long or as often. This will tell your body to stop making as much milk.

Hope that helps!

Sarh - posted on 03/26/2011

I think my mind is too freaky or whatever. I could never use donor milk. I don't trust anyone! The lady could be drinking, taking medication, doing drugs, who knows! I haven't had the best of luck when it comes to trusting strangers and with my infant is when I will NOT take that chance. Even if they do test it, I'm sure they don't test for every single possible thing! You know. I don't know, I just don't have trust in anyone.

I'm not sure if I posted it above, but he FINALLY DRANK FROM HIS SIPPY TODAY!!! I said what the hell, put some formula in the sippy, gave it to him while we sat on the couch and he was sucking on it and not chewing on it! It was so hard for me to sit still and stay quiet!!! I was so excited. She had some formula with dinner from the sippy, we went out to Red Robin, he drank about 4-5oz of the milk in the restaurant and on the way home and has been sleeping since... it's 10:46p here, lets see if he sleeps through the night. I am happy he took the sippy cup with dinner, but I am feeling very emotional w/out being able to have nursed and snuggled before bed. :(

But ladies, I apologize about my earlier post about thinking it was "gross" to nurse a child. I just could personally never do it past 2yrs old. I'd love to nurse him for another year, but I just can't do it! I washed dishes earlier and after like the 5th dish my back was so stiff and hurt so bad. I stand perfectly straight while washing dishes, my sink is at about my belly button height so I really don't get it. And recently, I have discovered that if I stand more then about 5-10mins I can FEEL my ankle swell up, if you have ever felt that, you know it hurts. I have to contact my doc about that as it is a "new" symptom, or maybe I actually am pregnant even though I have taken a home pregnancy test...? Pregnancy may also help explain my emotional issues with missing tonight's nursing session... or is it normal for that to be hard on mom?

Georgia - posted on 03/26/2011

Freaking auto correct! I'm sorry, "Ionia" should be "I know" and "ou thinker" is "you think"

Georgia - posted on 03/26/2011

Another thought came to mind. Because he is such a mummy's boy, it may be easier to switch to a bottle (Ionia you don't want to). But if you think about it, simulating a nursing session would be much easier with a bottle than cup. He could still snuggle with you while having his feed. In the best interest of saving yourself the frustration, it may be worth considering switching a nursing session for a bottle feed. You can still get him using a cup, but a bottle might get him off the boob a bit more easily. And if you can source donor milk, you will be set.

It's an idea.

Georgia - posted on 03/26/2011

Hey, Sarh, there was a good suggestion in there. What about donor breast milk?? Still getting all the goodness and you can get back on the meds. Best of both worlds!

You sorta lost me when you stated you think bf past 1 yr is weird, because it's actually normal. But you're entitled to feel as you wish. I know that you have educated yourself quite a lot on bf just from talking to you here, so in the back of your mind you already know about WHO recommendations to age 2, blah blah blah. NONE of it matters in your case.

I also understand your frustration at having to repeat yourself because people are just reading the OP and none of the following conversation to find out why you are talking about weaning. I've been biting my tongue and just rolling my eyes.

Hey, ou thinker you're sick of hearing "when are you going to wean?" Spare a thought for me. When I was bf my eldest, his cousin (who is 3 weeks older) was only bf for THREE WEEKS, because my SIL said she was told by her GP that it's a waste of time past 3 wks because they get all the immunity help and nutrition in the first 3 wks and that's it. Talk about educated idiot!! So of course I was always being asked why I was still bf after the three week mark. Ignorance may be bliss, but it's as annoying as all hell to everyone else.

I do think regular cup and donor bm is a great idea. It would allow you to wean whenever you want and get your health back on track.

Oh yeah, I can completely understand not wanting to be on those meds and bf! I wouldn't want to either. It's sad that they don't do much research on what drugs pass through in bf and I wouldn't want to chance it either.

Laura had a good idea too. Just start dropping feeds one at a time. Maybe switch it to bm in a cup instead.

You'll get there, just give it some time. It sounds like you were spot on in starting to think about working on this transition now. You can do it! :-)

Hey, maybe you should get the Mirena (reference to another post). It could drop your supply off for you! ;-) I lost my milk over the course of a few months.

Sarh - posted on 03/26/2011

No, it wouldn't offend me because I already feel that me wanting to wean by a yr so I can go back on my medication is selfish and wrong so they would just be helping me confirm what I thought.
If you would like to know, I have been told to wean him since he was about 3ms old by family and doctors! I contemplated it, just to make things easier and less stressful, but I said screw them, I was going to do what was best and at least 1yr is best. Do you have any idea how sick to death I am of hearing the question, "don't you think it is time to wean?" "Why didn't you bring a bottle or formula so I could feed him?" "Your just breastfeeding so no one else can feed him right?" They get worse then that, I have since stopped going to that aunts house. Breastfeeding him has pretty much just been HELL! (sorry for the language).

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

*specifics* weren't even necessary.... just a little about you are doing it for medical issues would have helped.. that's all I am saying.. "I have medical issues that require weaning at one year old".. save yourself time in explaining and save us our time in trying to encourage you..

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

Because it would save folks from trying to help you realize that you don't have to wean due to societal pressures.. and save everyone some time.. If we say "don't worry if he doesn't, it's not a big deal, lots of babies don't" we are trying to support you. Do you have any idea how many moms are told they HAVE to have their kid weaned by a year? So of course that is our first response.. as evidenced above.. As for expressing your personal opinion... you might want to check the rules for this board.. not to mention that your opinion is downright offensive to many of the mothers here.. "It's gross".. what if someone thought you should keep breastfeeding and just suffer through your pain and it was selfish to wean for your own desires/needs? That would offend you, yes? If you want HELP then it is HELPFUL to post what is going on.. not "I'd like to have him weaned" but *I need to have him weaned*.. would make helping you without trying to let you know that all the jackhats out there telling moms they have to be weaned by a year are wrong would save us some time.. and since you have explained it five times.. it's out there anyway.. so why not be helpful in getting help? I mean seriously.. It is your decision.. but so many people want to be SURE it is your decision.. not someone pressuring you. Does that make sense? I am coming down from vicodin myself right now and my brain is a bit muddled.. (I had to take it for severe chest pain from Plurisy (SP?) last night ).. No one is bashing you for weaning.. you want to do it fine.. but so MANY of us are given misinformation to make us feel we need to wean.. I got jumped by an EKG TECH last night for nursing.. I suppose we all want to make sure that you realize you don't have to unless you don't want to as part of us trying to HELP you.. Except in your case you do need to but we didn't know that so we couldn't effectively HELP you..

Laura Zoey - posted on 03/26/2011

Because of his age we aren't allowed to offer weaning tips unless a medical reason necessitates weaning. You have a medical reason which makes it a valid reason to wean him under a year, and you aren't even asking about weaning before a year, just by a year so you aren't breaking any rules at all. But we all see 9 months and weaning and our instinct is to try to help you continue. If your medical reason was in the opening post then everyone would understand why you are trying to wean him.

Sarh - posted on 03/26/2011

Sorry, it was just that you were like the fifth person to ask. I wasn't bashing it, just expressing my personal opinion. I didn't know that wasn't allowed.
Just got really annoyed with repeating myself and I didn't post it in the original post because I didn't want that much longer, plus why should I have to explain myself as to why I would like to wean. It is my personal decision, why does it matter?

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

I actually found that after I posted and edited my post to be more helpful.. thanks for bashing the three years plus breastfeeding moms in your answer! WOW.. perhaps you could be a bit more specific in your original post instead of posting it among fifty other posts? That would make assisting you much easier! Things do tend to get missed when reading through fifty plus posts and chasing kids around.. sorry..

Sarh - posted on 03/26/2011

Like I've said numerous times above, I have Ankylosing Spondylitis and Fyrbromyalgia, I'm in constant pain and I can't take some of my medication while nursing baby and I don't want to take the other few which wont do much by themselves while breastfeeding. Even if it is a small amount if any of the medication that will get into my milk, I don't want to take that risk. My son shouldn't have medication in his system from my milk if HE doesn't need it! I hate medicating children and after thinking further about the 2 medications that are "OKAY" to take while nursing I don't want to. I think being off of my medication from Oct.09 to June 2011 is plenty long enough to have given my son the best I can. Plus, I never intended on nursing past 12ms it's weird and in my opinion gross to be nursing like a 3+ yr old! But to everyone their own!

Holly - posted on 03/26/2011

My 16 month old still nurses.. never took a bottle and isn't thrilled with a sippy cup.. he plays with it until his big brother takes it and drinks it lol :) He is just more interested in momma's milk :) If your little one isn't ready perhaps you can try a straw or a regular cup that you hold? Aiden will drink out of an *adult* cup with no lid if we hold it.. may take more time and patience but it might work :) You could try donated breastmilk in a sippy cup as well.. That way little one is still getting the benefits and taste of breastmilk which might make weaning easier.. you could pump now and freeze it for this process as well.. familiar yummies that baby LOVES are easier to get them to drink out of a cup then a foreign drink..

Laura Zoey - posted on 03/26/2011

While pregnant breastfeeding Eric got really painful, and I too tried to cut back on how often he nursed. I found that the more I tried to redirect him the more he asked. When I would go a while giving in to every demand, he started asking less and less. So maybe Cade is the same! It's hard with these mamas boys, they are just so needy!

Sarh - posted on 03/26/2011

No I haven't talked to a lactation consultant, I wish this whole weaning thing would be easier.

there is just no way I will be able to wean him on my own. Even if he has a full solid meal and then a 6 or 8oz bottle he still has to nurse other wise he is trying to crawl under my skin.

Laura Zoey - posted on 03/26/2011

Sarh, maybe if you can encourage Cade down to two or three breastfeeds a day then it would be even safer to go ahead with the medication. Maybe when he turns one, instead of having him done, just have him cut back so the amount of medications in your milk is so negligible it wouldn't affect him. Might be easier then trying to cut it out entirely. And then once he is down sized on feeds it's alot more likely he would drop the rest on his own sooner then if you let him have free acces like my Eric! He still asks about 8 times a day and his 2nd birthday is in two weeks! But when you start the weaning process out yourself, usually the baby will end it much sooner then if you wait it out entirely.

Oh and just because you can't take something while pregnant doesn't automatically make it unsafe while breast-feeding. Placenta puts things into the baby very fast and very efficiently. But as your body makes milk lots of times things will not even go there. And some things like alcohol are comp,etely metabolized in a few hours so timing is key with drinking while breastfeeding but it isn't nearly as risky as drinking while pregnant.
Have you talked to a lactation consultant about naproxen? they might be able to tell you more about how much of it would transfer to your milk, or if it is at all harmful to him at this age.