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Self weaning? Or Not? How do we know?

A - posted on 01/30/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So I'm nursing my 20 month old son. He's always nursed often. A few months ago he started nursing less, but still frequently. Then a few weeks ago, he dropped half of his day time feedings (but still nurses as much at night). Then, two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. I also just had a cold on top of it. I started to over analyze things (Is he nursing less because of my pregnancy? Is my supply gone? Has the taste changed? Is he just out-growing it? Is it just because I'm sick?, etc). Saturday I was really worried because he would ask to nurse, nurse for a couple seconds, pull away and go play. I'd ask him if he wanted to finish and he said "no" to me in regards to nursing for the first time. It was sad to me, but obviously you can't force a child. All day long he never let my milk down except at nap time. So I was especially worried my pregnancy was drying me up. Then today, he's nursed (so far) three times and let the milk down every time, and been less distracted. And even the days before when he wasnt getting milk during the day, he always did at night.

So after today I feel much better, and feel my supply isn't suffering (yet anyway); he just wasn't interested in milk, or just wanted it for comfort or to know it was there. I've read before that people say if your child weans during pregnancy its not considered self-weaning. This was adding to my stress because ever since I became knowledgeable about self weaning, I wanted my son to do it. My son will be about 28 months old when the new baby is born. I have no problem tandem nursing, but if my son weans by then (with no encouragement from me) is that still not considered self weaning? How do I know he wouldn't have weaned on his own by then anyway? How can we tell mothers their child didn't self wean, when we cannot know it was because of decreased supply or taste change, or just normal development?

I'm not sure what I'm really asking-lol- I guess just how you other moms feel about this and any personal experience with it.

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2 Comments

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Teresa - posted on 01/30/2011

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I agree w/ Sara... stop stressing. :) Whether or not he 'truely' self-weans is NOT or at least shouldn't be the big thing. You've given him a great start and whether or not he stops soon.... or continues for another year.... or more.... you've done great!

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 01/30/2011

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Don't stress so much about whether it's self-weaning or not :). When I got pregnant I knew my daughter would be 22 months when I was half-way through which is when it's common to have supply issues (although some women have them sooner and some have no problem at all). My goal was 2 years so I couldn't beat myself up if she choose to stop because of the pregnancy. You've done an awesome job nursing this long and I think I've said in a thread of yours before to take it day by day. Plus, some toddlers ask to resume nursing when the baby comes and the milk is back. I've also heard moms say that their toddler really slows down, only nursing a few times a week, until the baby is born and their milk is back. I'm 16 weeks tomorrow and thrilled that I've not noticed any supply issues yet. I just wish the nipple pain would go away lol. My daughter is nursing 3 times a day. If she stops then she stops. If she doesn't then I'll be happy to tandem nurse. I could also see her wanting to resume if she does stop since it will only be a few months between weaning and the new baby. Honestly, it's too much for me to think about so I don't. There are so many what ifs which is why I go day by day :)

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