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Separation anxiety getting worse!

Alicia - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 11 1/2 month old baby girl. I have had to return to work for 2 days a week, and been back for one month now. At first things seemed good! My MIL has her one day, and her daddy the other. I noticed she was more clingy for a day or two that I was home with her (was to be expected). But instead of her separation anxiety getting better or staying the same... each week it gets worse! I now cannot move 2 feet away from her without her going into a shrilling scream... has anyone else had this happen??

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Alicia - posted on 05/03/2009

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I realize that it is a normal stage, but I thought that after a month it would start getting better... not worse... I do know that there is nothing wrong with her, but I feel so bad. When I am home I always talk to her and tell her what I am doing/find something for her to do also. She helps me fold the laundry lol. But still, no matter how much reassurance, she wont let me get any further than 2 feet from her without screaming. It makes me feel that I shouldn't go to work for even a couple days a week.
Other than that she is generally a very happy baby :)

Rachel - posted on 04/30/2009

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One thing that helped when my son was going through this was talking to him constantly--telling him what I was doing, why I was doing it, where I was going, reassuring him that I was still right there and not leaving, asking him to "help" me with whatever I was doing (hee--if I washed dishes, his job was to sit on the floor and stack plastic containers so I could "put them away" (after I washed them again once he was asleep because they had been on the floor :p)). When I did need to actually leave to go to work/store/whatever, the person staying with him would distract him--let's play with this, are you ready to go for a walk, etc etc.



It takes a little time for them to know and remember that just because you are leaving, you are deserting them! they worry you aren't coming back but eventually they realize that you'll be back and they'll be fine until you do :)

Yulia - posted on 04/30/2009

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Hi Alicia,



There's nothing wrong with your baby :-) It's a normal developmental phase---as normal as learning to walk and talk. When she was younger and you left, she didn't miss you: if you were out of sight, you're out of mind. Now when you were out of sight, you're still very much on his mind (which mean she can miss you).



My daughter was about the same age as yours when she was driving me crazy with her separation anxiety. I was having a hard time, I barely could do "me" things without being meddled by her. But I guess that's exactly what being a mom is all about, hahaha...



One thing to remember is that separation anxiety doesn't last forever. All too quickly, your child will learn to separate easily and painlessly from you :-)

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