Single Mom with two babies of an alcoholic father

Sandy - posted on 04/08/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am the new single mom of a two yr old and a 7 month old. He cheated on me twice, the first time when I was 5 months pregnant and the second time on Valentine's Day this year. He was verbally abusive to me the whole time. I am so sad and lonely. I am so upset I feel like I can't breath. He is an alcoholic and is giving me a hard time for not letting him have the two yr old alone on the weekend, but I just can't. I don't trust him. He falls asleep watching him or drinks while they're there. At the same time I feel so lost and empty and I miss him. What is wrong with me. Why is this so hard? I am so scared. I don't know how to do this! I feel like I'm falling apart.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Hang in there, it DOES get better. First off, if it is available to you, get yourself into some sort of therapy ASAP. It is a WONDERFUL way to start getting a grip on the realities of  your life. Look into the AA offshoot groups, too - they are there for people in your position.



If you don't trust him with the children, FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. The court system is in place for a reason - use it. And NEVER feel guilty about protecting your children - that is your #1 priority at this point of  your life!!!!!



You won't fall apart, although some days it really feels like you already have. This is NORMAL, trust me! You have the ability to survive this - reaching out on this site is proof of that! Keep expanding your support circle and, one day at a time, your life will become what you want it to be.

[deleted account]

Sorry to hear you are going through this! ((big hugs)) I have been where you are, with 2 kids and an alcoholic, cheating father.
I hope that you have a strong support system in your family or friends, thats the only thing (and my faith in God) that got me through. It is very hard though. Maybe try keeping a journal or talking to a counsellor?
You need to keep getting your feelings out. You are going through a grieving process, you have to allow yourself some time.
GL

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong w/ you!  Just hang in there for your babies.  You will make it through this.  I've been a totally single mom since the day my one year old son was born ('dad' has seen the kids once in the past 10 months).  I pretty much didn't stop crying for the first 6 months, so I can totally empathize w/ the pain you are feeling right now.  All I can say is that it does get better.  I couldn't believe it when my friends were telling me that a year ago, but I promise you that it is true.

Gina - posted on 04/08/2009

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I am sorry to hear of your situation...not sure that is what you need to hear though. Be strong you sound like you are doing the right thing for you and your babies!!!! I just had my second who is just under 4 months and I have a 2 yr old...it is VERY tough not to mention the hormones. Gosh I think you need a big HUGE hug so considered yourself hugged. Things WILL get better for you, know it! It's good to see that you are reaching out for help. Do you have family near you to help you with the babies so you can take some time out for yourself?

Amanda - posted on 04/08/2009

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Stop and breath! I know its hard right now, I was also single mom with those age children. I promise you, you will make it through it, and you do not need him for help. Do you have family around that can help you? Or friends? Do NOT be scared to ask others for help.

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