Sit and stare you old bat!

Shana - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 89 moms have responded )

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My fiance and I went out to dinner with some people tonight, and we brought our daughter, she started to cry because she was hungry, I covered us up for the comfort of the other people there... Anyways, my breasts and my daughter were covered and this lady at the next table kept staring at me like I was the devil, giving me all kinds of dirty looks. She was making me feel uncomfortable the way she kept looking at me in disgust. It doesn't make me want to stop breast feeding, it actually made me angry and makes me want to feed her more in public, breasts are built to feed babies, and I don't understand why some people have such a problem with it!

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Francine - posted on 01/29/2010

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Silly old bat. I am glad you fed her anyway. I don't tend to feed in public a lot as my daughter refuses to be covered when she is feeding. Muslins and cloths she rips off and the breastfeeding shawl I bought made her scream when she couldn't get rid of it. I am lucky that the shopping centre I usually go to has really good parents rooms but if I am at a park or out in public, I have no choice, if she needs to feed, she needs to feed. I try to keep covered as much as possible, but I figure if people don't like it, they don't have to look.

Karen - posted on 01/26/2010

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For most part I've had positive comments, just 1 objection so far. It was in the childrens department of the hospital (where they SAY they advocate breastfeeding and have 'welcome to breastfeed' signs) Anyway, baby was 2 months at the time I was feeding her and this auxillery came up and pointed out the nursing area to me. I thought he was being helpful in case I hadn't seen it but when I told him I'm good here thanks it became obvious he wasn't asking and he expected us to move so I told him I wasn't going to hide away to feed her and just stayed where I was. I also complained to the hospital but not heard anything back yet suprise surprise!

Shelley - posted on 01/25/2010

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I think its great that you took your baby out and fed her. People just don't seem to understand but hopefully if we continue to feed and make it not such a tabu our daughters will feel comfortable when it comes to there turn. :)

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Tyasia - posted on 08/10/2010

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cuz their stupid and ashamed of themselves for seeing breasts in a sexual way. you go momma.

-proud momma to a breastfed 15 month old boy :D

Cinda - posted on 02/17/2010

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My son is over 14 months & still nursed full time. I've gotten the same looks & got irritated about it too. I actually started to acknowledge these people. I would look them right in the eye, smile & just say "Hi" or "How's it going?" or something very plane & nice like that. Being acknowledged made THEM uncomfortable. It made me too want to nurse him in public all the more. Sad but my own husband was 1 of the people that was slightly embarrassed by me nursing our baby in public.

Nicole - posted on 02/17/2010

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I feel thankful I've never had any negativity. I even feed my daughter at the dog park. One time I covered up and on of the regulars, a man by the way, wondered why i even bother covering up and agreed with me that people are very ignorant if they feel uncomfortable by breastfeeding. Yesterday, I fed Sophia at the salon and while I was leaving a very nice older lady also thanked me for doing what was best for my baby.

Shana - posted on 02/17/2010

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I don't know why people have such a big deal about it, it's just a boob, and it's for feeding an infant! PS I love you Laura!

Heather - posted on 02/16/2010

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Good for you! I have breast fed my two children and even some of my family does not support me. Too bad. I feed my children when they are hungry. No matter where I am. I cover up so what's the big deal?

Laura - posted on 02/09/2010

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oh shana ur such a good mommy! i would have looked at that lady and said would u like a picture? u were being polite by covering so that lady needs to mind her own business! next time throw something at her lol :)

Sarah - posted on 02/01/2010

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The law is on your side, and so is everyone here. Go girl! You're doing the best for your baby and gawkers can gawk all they want, you're just doing as God intended. The innappropriate ones are those who think breasts are only sexual!

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2010

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Good for you! Babies need to eat too. I'd have given her looks back like: "Do you want some of this or what?" & if she kept staring, I'd have asked her.

[deleted account]

Don't worry about what other people think. She would have given you the stare down if your baby had kept crying. You did what was best for you and your daughter. Probably enjoyed the meal more because you weren't dealing with a fussy baby. We took our son to a lacrosse game with 10,000 fans last night and when he was hungry, I covered up and fed him. Never left my seat and enjoyed the game. When he was done, he slept for a bit, woke up and he enjoyed the rest of the game as well. I would have disturbed more people by getting everyone to move as I shuffled out of the middle of the row just to go feed him. Then I would have had to stand in the stall in the bathroom and pulled him off early just because it was uncomfortable for me to stand there the whole time he was feeding.

Great job listening to what your daughter needed!

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2010

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Women must have been so concerned in the 'olden days' when they had to give birth with legs up in metal stirrups and try not to fart while pushing so they didn't upset their male doctor-lol. I can't imagine what it would have been like.
I b/feed in public when bub is hungry but normally time my outings between naps which conveniently is between feeds as well. I sometimes b/feed in my car with the aircon going (if I will be outside in the heat) because it is really hot where we live. It is sooo funny when someone walks by and I am sitting there feeding and they get a fright! In shopping centres/ restaurants I am definitely modest and will cover up with a muslin wrap etc. The main reason is you sometimes see the mall weirdo or young men who are trying to catch a glimpse of boob- Gross. Some women should definitely be more supportive. :)

Becky - posted on 01/30/2010

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I would've been tempted to pull the cover off and ask her if she'd like a closer look!

I breastfeed in public all the time and fortunately, have never gotten any negative comments about it. I'd be pretty ticked if I did. I don't know if anyone has ever given me odd or nasty looks over it, because I just ignore them! I'm feeding my child, I don't care what you think about it!

Lacie - posted on 01/30/2010

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I would have asked her rudly "Would you like some?Cause your staring at me like I'm evil for not sharing with you".If you don't want any and don't like seeing this don't f**king look at me!!! "Turn and face the people your having dinner with".

Dawn - posted on 01/30/2010

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Never let anyone tell you breastfeeding in public is bad, I have walked through walmart breastfeeding. I don't care...I bought a couple of different color nursing bras that way when my shirt was up, I was still covered. And draped a blanket over my shoulder, covered my boob and baby and feed. When people say something, I just tell them that I refuse to waste the most valuable nutrients my child will ever receive. If they have a problem with it I tell them not to look

Anneke - posted on 01/30/2010

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I havnt ever fed my son outside of my house, I dont get out much but I would have made it obvious that I knew she was looking, I would have even flashed my breasts to her if I knew it would annoy her. Thats pure ignorance! you can always tell when your out who has breastfeed by the looks your given. And unfortunatly there are more dirty looks than anything. Whats that saying.

Margie - posted on 01/30/2010

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Why go to the bathroom to feed your child. I was feeding my baby son in Jax., Fl poolside. I was told to go to the bathroom to feed my son, by the lifeguard. I asked her if she would eat in the bathroom her reply was no. I then in turn said then i'm not feeding my child in the bathroom. I also let her know by her saying something to me about nursing elsewhere is a fine in the state of Fl. Does anyone know the laws for GA and PA?

Mylene - posted on 01/30/2010

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Congrats on not letting that woman discourage you. I have not had any negativity when breastfeeding in public, but then, I don't notice the people around me. My baby is all I look at. And besides, if I did encounter a dirty look, I would just ask them if they wanted a picture since it lasts longer. My baby, my body, my business. Your dirty look is your problem not mine!

Tracey - posted on 01/30/2010

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I to have had dirty looks while feeding in public and on one occasion we were at a resturant and i had a guy staring at me so i asked if he would like some he looked away very quickly (fixed his red wagon). Go us Breast feeding mums i say if we wherent ment to feed from breast then god wouldnt have created women for this. Babies to need to be feed like all out there.

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I just stare right back at them until they feel uncomfortable! LOL When my 1st son was born people like that made me feel so uncomfortable I actually used to go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet and breastfeed when in public. By the 2nd kid I didn't give a crap! I mean it's not like I just whipped it out for everyone to see, I always covered them with a blanket. If they don't like it then they shouldn't stare!

Jennifer - posted on 01/29/2010

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Unfortunately the society that we live looks at breasts as a novelty item rather then a tool. Women have been breastfeeding since the dawn of time. I do not understand why people think that it is do disgusting when all we are trying to do is provide the best for our children.

Sara - posted on 01/29/2010

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I have a funny story about nursing in public. When my older daughter was only 4-5 mths old I had to go to court. She needed to nurse while we were waiting and I could hear the lawyers making rude jokes then the bailiff gave me a hard time about moving. By the time I left I was steaming mad. I had a long drive home so I fed her again in the backseat before we left. When she was done I put her in her carseat and got in the driver's seat. Thats when I noticed this old woman sitting in the car next to us just staring with these huge eyes. I was already mad so I flipped her off and pulled out spinning gravel. We were in a really small town where you know everyone so I didn't really notice people turning there head towards me as I passed them or at the stop signs. Until I realized I forgot to pull my shirt and bra down after she ate. I was so embarrased and felt so awful about flipping off some old lady.

Amanda Jolene - posted on 01/29/2010

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I agree completely with you! I nursed in public for the first time a couple of nights ago. My husband and I took the girls to the hospital to visit my sister in law after having her baby. I was sitting in the lobby, waiting for my husband to come back, so I could go up and see she and the baby. In the mean time our baby girl, Naomi, got hungry. So I put on my cover up and nursed her. I always thought that if I had to do this, I would feel uncomfortable, but I didn't. No one payed any attention to us. It was a nice experience. However, I had made up my mind that if anyone gave me a hard time, I'd just remind them that I was feeding my baby, not making a porno movie. No one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or like you are doing something "seemly" for feeding your baby in public. They wouldn't give you a dirty look if you had expressed ahead of time and fed with a bottle. Well, you are just cutting out "the middle man".

Alannah - posted on 01/29/2010

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I happens and making you want to nurse more is great. I did have this promblem a few time, but I ignored people. I attened LLL and recived large plasic cards that had the breastfeeding laws on them incase someone did tell I could not nurse whereever I wanted. Every State is differ just know your state laws and keep nursing.

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i think you did the right thing, dont let it get to you.....deep down there just jealous that they didnt have the opportunity to do it them selves, and like others have said its a natural thing to do, never stop doing something because of others!!!!!

Amanda - posted on 01/29/2010

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There is actually a federal law that allows mothers to feed in public. People don't eat in privacy when in public, why should your baby? I've had a few women give me some looks too. It's funny, and my husband and I laugh about it. I lost all modesty after having my son, maybe not all but nearly all, after having people I didn't know having their hands in places that I felt very nervous about. Now I don't even care. I nurse in public because it is our right to. People who have stared not only get dirty looks in return, but I look at them and say, "Can I help you with something? It's not a peepshow and I'm not going to show you anything." I've never been a very loud and obnoxious person, but when you become a parent and are caring for your little one, little else matters at that point.

Miranda - posted on 01/28/2010

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I think it has something to do with age, and I am not trying to be rude! The older generations were taught that formula was the way to go, and that breastfeeding was for "poor" people! Either that, or she just has a problem? I would do what you are doing, because you as you already know, are giving your child the best of the best! I am sorry for what you have experienced! I guess if it comes down to it, you could always ask them if they have a problem!!! :)

Cassie - posted on 01/28/2010

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That's awful, it is a big reason why I never got past 5 weeks with my DS. I used to take a bottle when we went out and it played havoc with my supply and then nipple confusion. However this time I thought bugger you I'm going to feed in public and I just dare anyone to say something and I've had so much support, from restaurants and cafes especially, and other women smiling at me when they see me feeding, and I don't bother covering up, once she's on you don't see anything anyway :-) I live in a fairly small town (city) maybe that is why they are supportive here, not sure. Next time if I were you I'd say something about how rude it is to stare?

Casey - posted on 01/28/2010

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Doesn't it drive you crazy! Why if you have covered up does it have anything to do with her? My mother had to fed my brother sitting on a toilet when she was in public (poor mum), which makes me wonder why it is always older women who seem to give us evil looks having fought so long for rights as women why get down on those who use them? I'm no longer BF sadly but I actually make the effort to smile at women BF in public. I think it helps to have positive comments when you are bf to counter those few negative ones.

Francesca - posted on 01/28/2010

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Its situations like that made me stop using the udder cover. Now if they stare they look like perverts HAHAHA



I think if more women breastfeed in public, covered or not, then we can desentize the horrible misconception that boobies are for sex.



Good for you for not being dissuaded by the situation!

Kristin - posted on 01/28/2010

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Don't ley anyone make you feel bad every baby needs to eat your going to get dirty looks, but then people should give dirty looks to all those babies that eat formula to really whats is the diffrence bottle or breast the both have to eat. Keep it up you are not in the wrong.

[deleted account]

I know the feeling. People make it out to be a bad thing when actually it isn't. Had that been me, I probably would have asked her if everything was ok.

Amanda - posted on 01/28/2010

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Good for you for keeping nursing! People who are so ignorant just really piss me off! When I had my son and started nursing, I also nursed him where ever he needed to eat. Generally speaking I never went to another room, and I never covered with a blanket or nursing cover. I am a modest person, and probably blushed up a storm while trying to get my son latched, but I decided it was important to have people see a nursing mother not ashamed. I'm sure plenty of malls and restaurants got an eyeful of boob every now and then, but I just decided people seeing women breastfeeding was more important than my modesty. Then, when my son got older and more distractable, (popping off all the time to look around) I tried the blanket thing, but he would just pull it off his head, he didn't like being covered. And I thought, why should he have to eat in the dark, not able to stare up at his momma while he eats? So, I stopped trying. I have been looked at strangely (not so much negatively, but more, "what on earth is she doing...") and occasionally smiled at. Mostly people come up and want to look at the baby, then see what you're doing, and apologize and smile. So, in that regard I've been very fortunate, not to have to deal with anyone saying anything. But I was afraid of it happening, so I always had a witty retort ready, just in case. Good for you for nursing in public! And continue to cover if it makes you more comfortable, but if it gets to the point where your baby won't tolerate it anymore, just remember 50% of the population of the world has boobs, and they are intended to feed babies! You have nothing to be ashamed of! :)

Kristen - posted on 01/28/2010

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I feel so uncomfortable around my mother in law when i nurse. She gives me the most disgusted face in the world. I cover myself, but wow...really?? I am not going to be shamed into making my daughter eat in a filthy bathroom because other people think that nursing is gross.... I cant believe how hypocritical people are with this issue... they all say that its so good that you breast feed, but then when you start to nurse you should be shunned into the bathroom! How bout they eat in a bathroom and see how appetizing it is! HUMF!

Christyn - posted on 01/28/2010

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For a while after my son was born, I didn't go anywhere where I knew they did not have a breast feeding mother's room if my son would be hungry while I was out. But a road trip when he was 2 months old made me realize that it's not so bad. I've always been the modest type and won't even wear a bikini. I find that with the security of a receiving blanket covering, I'm quite comfortable feeding my son in public. The thought of feeding him in a bathroom disgusts me more than the thought of showing my breasts in public!

Leslie - posted on 01/28/2010

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You should have loudly said, "Take a picture lady!!!" She obviously didn't have the guts to say anything to you, so next time someone does that, stare em down and open your eyes real wide when you eyes meet. I've done that with rude people and say, "WHAT?!!!" when they make contact. Works every time. They look away and are embarassed into submission real quick.

Marla - posted on 01/28/2010

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I totally support what you did! Unfortunately, older generations of women feel that the activity of breastfeeding should be kept private. They feel like it's nobody's business, and they become offended when they see the "younger generation" doing it! I'm sure if you had leaned over later that evening, and gave your fiance a smooch, she would have given you a dirty look, as well!

Amy - posted on 01/28/2010

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I think some old timers don't realize the many benefits of breastfeeding and see doing it publicly as brazen and immodest. It's not- it's natural and as long as you are covered up, they shouldn't care one way or the other. You are doing better than I would have. I think I would have had to ask her what her problem was lol. Usually when ppl are confronted with their obnoxious behavior, they back down. LOL Anyway, keep it up! You are doing what's best for you and baby!

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2010

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should have walked over whipped them out and given her some cream for her crabby old coffee! lol. thats really gets me going...u know i had an elderly woman ask me while i was pregnant if i was going to breastfeed, and i said yes, then she went on to say 'well i hope youre not going to do it in public' i just shrugged it off and let it go, but that was b4 i became such a lactivist, now i would have probly schooled her a bit! lol

Mary Lou - posted on 01/28/2010

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good for you! dont let this moment detour you from breastfeeding. i was at a local mall and my mother in law was in line with my two older kids to see santa when my baby started to get fussy and wanted to nurse, so i went to a bench that was out of the way, sat next to a pillar and pulled the stroller in front of me and sat and nursed her. pretty soon mall cop came over and almost walked past me, but then turned with a jerk and told me i needed to cover up and that he had gotten complaints from others about a nursing mom (i was sitting across from a victoria's secret store btw) and then told me about the nursing room, that i was aware of and i told him that i was fine, and he was basically telling me to leave. so i told him that there is a law in effect that allows any mother to nurse her child any where she was allowed to be, in any public area. he left and i was furious about it, i called his supervisor and complained, and just wanted them to be aware of the laws, so that next time this wouldn't happen and the security could tell the complainers that there is nothing that could be done about it, that nursing mothers have a perfect right to feed in public. i am just glad that i was not a first time nursing mom trying to become comfortable nursing in public. check out the La Leche League website for the current laws in your area.

Paige - posted on 01/28/2010

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AMEN SISTA!! lol If I saw someone lookin at me like that i'd be all "You got a problem? Don't look at me!"



haha! Good for you for not getting embarassed and giving up. That little angel needs to eat too! I can't WAIT to feed my baby in public. :) I mean, i'm going to cover up too, lol, but still. It's what's natural and it's a beautiful thing, and there aren't enough people out there like me and you girl! lol

Kristina - posted on 01/28/2010

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People are justs so close minded and ignorant that they cant accept that because they didnt do that other people should. She should be happy u covered up lol ;) ive seen moms in resturants who have boobie and all popped out. But more power to you girl I never breast fed in public I always was uncomfortable. If you are doing it than keep doing it girl screw what ppl say.

Merinda - posted on 01/28/2010

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I have a 10 month old baby too and will keep on breastfeeding her for a long time to come whenever wherever. These sickly people can stare all they want, I also cover up and they will still try to see. Do you think they are so sick that they think its something sexual? These people have the mentallity of slugs! I promissed myself next time I will ask the person to step closer so that she can see properly.

Lori - posted on 01/27/2010

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I hear you. I feel the same way! That lady should have minded her own business. It's not like you were showing off your boobs to her! Don't worry about it, breastfeeding is a beautiful act. Keep up the good work!!

Kendra - posted on 01/27/2010

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I have a 2 month old, when he was first born he had trouble latching and it took us right around 6-8 weeks to finally get it right. Thankfully, I had the support of a few good friends and my husband otherwise, I may have given up. He is now 11 weeks old, and yesterday was the first we officially BF in public. I have nursred him in the dressing room at the BX and at the mall (because of that whole trouble latching thing). We did that so I didnt have to show the world my boob for 10 mins while he tried to latch on. Yesterday, I had to see the doctor (mastitis) and being that we're stationed overseas and go to a military clinic, baby and I sat in the pharmacy for freaking ever! There were a few young marines, some women, and a couple kids in the pahrmacy portion of the clinic. I had a light blanket for a cover, which Gunner HATES! I had a little trouble getting him on since I was unable to see what I was doing, but once we got it we were good to go! I got a couple big smiles, and one lady walked by me, sat down a few chairs away, looked at me a little creeped out, and stared at her lap the rest of the time I was there. People are pretty used to it here, we actually have commercials on TV that advocate breastfeeding!! Its good to have support when you are doing something that you know is right but is still considered to be so 'tabu'.



Also, the cutest thing, a few weeks ago we had a neighbor over with his 3 year old little girl. The baby was hungry so I grabbed a blanket and began feeding him. Bella came and sat next to me on the couch, looking very curious. "Wheres the baby?" she asked. I told her he's under the blanket. "Whys he under the blanket?" I asnwered her, "He is nursing, he nurses like baby Lyla." (another friend and neighbor)



I dont think she fully understands what we were doing, but shes been around it enough she doesnt worry about it when we pull out the blanket and the baby disappears for a few minutes. :)

Sara - posted on 01/27/2010

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Don't you just want to say to people like this: You know, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't eat in public... it's really disgusting!! I think some people would rather see a baby's diaper be changed in public than be nursed.
Anyway... I never used those covers, because I always felt like that drew more attention to the nursing. I just practiced at home in front of the mirror, generally wore a nursing shirt or layers, and if necessary, just put a burp cloth or small blanket over my boob (not the baby). The baby's head covers most of the most "objectional" parts for stuffy society. I never got rude comments, although I did get a few surprised looks sometimes, because they were thinking they were going to check out the baby's face - but realized she was nursing. =)

Laura - posted on 01/27/2010

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Way to go keep it up...breastfeeding in public...i have found that the people that sit and stare are more embarrased than the mother that is breastfeeding!

Tiffany - posted on 01/27/2010

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So far I have had no problems feeding my 3 month old in public. As far as I'm concerned if there is someone who has a problem with it they can just get over it I'm doing what is best for my child.

[deleted account]

I was out last night for supper with my 1 month old and I breast fed in public oficially for the first time and I was so proud of myself for being able to do that. I was completely covered with a BFing cover and wearing a nursing shirt so not much would show anyways. But like you said there was an women in a booth across form us just staring at me like I had two heads for a while i felt kinda timid wondering if i should be doing this(BFing) but then I just got mad and stared right back at her until she looked away I asked my frieds that me and my fiance were dinning with if my BFing bothered them, they said not at all it was normal. After that I thought screw everyone else would they rather here my son screaming cause he was hungery or see a covered women breast feeding?

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