So, I'm thinking of nursing through age 2 and it is clearly culturally awkward, any advice?

A - posted on 08/18/2010

I'll also add that my son DOES bite me during a feeding session. Of course not directly as he's eating. But my son likes to pull away, look around. He does this often. If he's teething, he will sometimes bite me. Yes it hurts. But the benefits to him outweight my discomfort. I've been bitten so hard I was bleeding. I've had a cracked nipple for over 2 months. I'm in no way discouraging breastfeeding, but the one comment was making it sound like a child will never bite your nipple. Sorry, not true. Just because they physically can't while swallowing doesn't mean they wont pull away and come back to bite.

A - posted on 08/18/2010

First off, the World Health organization recommends breastfeeding until 2 years, and even the AAP states children who are weaned before age 2 are at an increased risk of illness. OUR culture is actually in the minority. Most other parts of the world nurse until at least two and/or wait until their children self wean. I highly recommend looking at Kathy Dettwyler's website. She is an anthropoloist who states what human babies are DESIGNED to expect, when it comes to nursing, is a minimum of 2.5 years, and a maximum of 7 years. www.kathydettwlyer.org.



For some reason our society believes babies should be as independent as possible as soon as possible. I don't know why. I've radically changed my parenting style with my son. Going in I was brainwashed with all the societial views on parenting. After having my son and learning from trial and error, we more both more happy when I just listen to my son and his needs versus trying to confirm him to whatever I or society wants him to do. Follow your heart. View it as a medical decision, not a fitting in choice or parenting style choice. Early weaning can effect health and your child emotionally and psychologically. IF you don't your childs needs, you could end up making him/her MORE needy if you wean early.



Plus, studies show that children who breastfeed the LONGEST benefit the most. So, on average a child who nurses 2 years is smarter and healthier than a child who only nursed 1 year.

Sara - posted on 05/03/2010

I was breastfeed past 2, and plan on doing the same with my baby people who have a problem with it are people who just have problems

Carla - posted on 05/03/2010

You need to let them know that many healthy babies nurse to age two and beyond. It is great for your babies immune system. Your baby will let you know when they don't need to nurse anymore. They will start to eat more solids and other liquids and breastfeeding will only be for comfort. That is when they ween not when other people think they are too old and tell you that you should ween them. Good luck and enjoy every minute of nursing they only stay that little for such a short time then they grow up and move away. Love them up while they are little.

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2010

Go for it. I breastfed my son until he decided to stop, when he was just over 3 years old. I was lucky, because my Mama fed all 4 of us until we were 2 or 3 years old, and so being a toddler-feeding-weirdo was normal for my family, and no-one raised an eyebrow. It's great to let the child stop in his own time, and give him all the benefits of breast milk for as long as he wants them.

A couple of random people were rude about it, and I tended to say something like, "You're right! I should clearly be giving him cow's milk instead, far more natural".

Stina - posted on 05/01/2010

http://www.breastfeed.com/resources/arti...



Be confident in reasons for nursing past a year and research to find more reasons. I'm hoping to do child led weaning with my third baby who just turned a year. If people question you or are rude, politely give them a few facts.



While I haven't been approached by any rude questions or comments, I have an "arsenal" ready.

A few of my favorites as I continue to nurse my 1 yo:



Breastmilk continues to give her immunities to illness that she is exposed to through her big brother (in public school) and sister.



Toddlers who nurse are more confident and less clingy because they are confident that Mom is still there for their emotional needs that are met perfectly with nursing.



The natural age to wean is between 3 and 5... or maybe it's 6.



You don't have to give them all the info at once. But one statement about why you are nursing your child will let them know that you don't care for their judgement and pressure to fit in with what our society pressures us to do. Where breastfeeding is concerned, our society has it wrong. The only thing to change that is educating ignorant people about the reasons it's ok and natural to nurse children past 6 months, or *gasp* a year.

Jayme - posted on 05/01/2010

thats all on u the more the better i said the same but when my baby hit 20 months all she wanted was food so all i can say is when ur son wants to eat just let him an y family was the same even the dad i wish u the best of luck an yes its wroth it

Rhonda - posted on 05/01/2010

Tell them you appreciate their perspective, but you are doing what you feel is best for your child. We are the only culture who thinks b/f beyond two is wrong. Is perfectly natural, and as long as you are discreet, covering up with a blanket, its all good! No worries:)

Anne - posted on 05/01/2010

My LO is going to get mommy milk until at least 2 (in line with the WHO reccomendation) and for as long as it seems beneficial to her afterwards. If we could do that through nursing I wouldn't hesitate but she rejected breastfeeding at 6 months and I've been exclusively pumping ever since. Good for you, go for it, it's best for your child, and don't let anyone's ill-informed prejudices get in the way :-)

Margarette - posted on 05/01/2010

I plan on doing the same. Let them know a child's immune system is not established until they are two years old. Plus its all the rage in Europe. No one there cares and in other countries they going even up to the age of 5. And if they have anything else to say just tell them they didn't love their kids enough and weren't strong enough to stick it out. LOL. Just kidding, but it would feel good to say.

April - posted on 04/30/2010

16 months and still going strong. you're not alone in your effort to nurse for at least 2 years

Libby - posted on 04/30/2010

GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO IF I COULD HAVE!!!!! I am a little jealous. Just remember your are giving your best to your child. Your Amazing!

Deleted - posted on 04/30/2010

They are ignorant. This is actually recommended and good for your child. If they continue to give you problems, I would just firmly let them know it is not up for discussion and that you will not tolerate any more criticism about what you choose to do with your own child. I planned to do the same, but found out I'm pregnant and my daughter is 14 months so her time is limited already. I am glad I got to nurse this long, she has been SO healthy!

Amy - posted on 01/07/2010

As many have said, the WHO recommends bfg to 2 years and beyond.
The world average age of weaning is often quoted as 4.3 years.
The natural age of weaning for modern humans is between 2.5 and 7 to 8 years, with most of the predictions leaning toward the upper end of the range.
There's a nice video at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdEN8nKWA4E that you might find useful, it includes some great facts and quotes in the SECOND section.
There are quite a few books and websites that are informative and supportive, particularly those by Katherine Dettwyler, Norma Jane Bumgarner, Kellymom, Hilary Flower, and there is also a new book out called "Breastfeeding Older Children" by Ann Sinnott. There are also support groups such as those in yahoogroups (look for extended bfg, longer term bfg, full term bfg, etc).
I do not believe in hiding breastfeeding children from relatives, friends and the public, I let my children self-wean and I did not want them to ever feel they were doing something shameful or that needed hiding at home. We surrounded ourselves with like-minded friends, or created our own bubble when required, and we never had a problem with bad or critical comments.

Oluwaseyi - posted on 01/04/2010

Stick with your decision! Many folks who are ill informed want to discourage others...some mean no harm though! I breastfed my first girl for 18months (and of course folks thought I was crazy!) and got lots of side comments that I decided to ignore, some I ask what concerns they have and then educate them, others I simply let them know that its a choice I have made and no turning back! Just reveling in the fact that you are pursuing a good course that has lots of benefits for your child now and in the future should energize you to go on...Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/03/2010

Just ignore them. I, personally, only intend on doing so until the age of 1. But I don't technically BF. I pump all my milk then pre-make bottles.If worse comes to worse, you could do the same. It's double work but at the age you are thinking, they can feed themselves through a bottle. This way your baby still gets the nutrition of breast milk but is drinking through a bottle!

Sara - posted on 01/03/2010

Oh, honey, that's terrible!! The thing is to ignore them. I know it's easier said than done. I'm still nursing my little one and he's almost two. I get all sorts of looks from so many people. Some are of disgust, however, I focus on the little grandmothers who wink at me and give me thumbs up for nursing a toddler. The more I focus on the health benefits, and the sweet bond that nursing gives us, the more the ugly stuff falls away.



Keep on, keeping on!!! You are not alone!!! YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!! You can whatever you want, you know your kiddo the best. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life, or how to raise YOUR child. Not even your mother.



Happy Nom-Noms!

Becky - posted on 01/03/2010

Ugh. Its annoying. I had someone say to me 'isn't he a little old to still be nursing?' (he just turned 1 at the time of that lovely comment). I gave her some links on extended breastfeeding and that was that. How rude of people.

Marihett - posted on 01/03/2010

My son is now almost 1 & I'm still breastfeeding. I don't know when I will stop, I will follow his lead & let him wean himself. I have noticed on our pureed food jars (called Puritee) that breastfeeding is recommended till age 2, so I wouldn't feel bad if I were you, but to get to the narrow minded judgemental people out there ... maybe the best thing to do is just not to tell them, it will make it easier on you & avoid the subject.



Good luck

Heidi - posted on 01/03/2010

I have a 25-month old nursing son, and although I have several friends who've breastfed for 3 to 3 1/2 years, I still feel like my family and strangers are judgemental (esp. parents & in-laws). One solution I've heard is to set a rule at your child's 2nd birthday: only nurse at home. A 2-year-old will protest at first, but I think it's important to set limits. Do what feels comfortable to you! And know that there are lots of mommas still breastfeeding in the toddler years (even if we're closeted).

Courtney - posted on 01/03/2010

Quoting Brittany :

they say a year is plently of breast feeding time for an infant... i guess if you choose to do it for two years you have to except looking past what everyone else is thinking about ... not to be rude or seem it teeth hurt ... A LOT

"Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." WHO

A baby/child is physically unable to bite while feeding as their tongue covers their lower teeth and to bite while feeding they would also bite their tongue.

The only time a child will bite is if they are frustrated or being a bit cheeky, but not while they are actually feeding.

Lori - posted on 01/02/2010

Older babies do not nurse so much out of the house. Just whisper later if they ask. Mine were ok with that. Its not like they are newborns and got to have it right then. We mainly did it at night, nap times and when they were not feeling well. If someone really pushed me about it I would just smile and say yeah your right. then keep up our feeding in private as before. We burned our bras and got jobs in the 60's so why do we make it such a difficult thing about just feeding and nurturing our children now? Women are so not supportive of each other in this country its sad. Just feed your baby and in joy this time now... when its gone believe me its gone except in our hearts and memories.

Brittany - posted on 01/02/2010

they say a year is plently of breast feeding time for an infant... i guess if you choose to do it for two years you have to except looking past what everyone else is thinking about ... not to be rude or seem it teeth hurt ... A LOT

Alex - posted on 01/02/2010

the only person you should be concerned about is the baby. forget everybody else you dont answer to them. and you are doing nothing but good for yourself and your baby, you know that. and my mom nursed me til i was three years old, i have no memory of it!

Melanie - posted on 01/02/2010

I breastfed my oldest son right up until his 3rd birthday. I personally saw no problem with it, I did get some weird reactions. He only really used the boob as a means for comfort and for his final "snack" before bed because he was eating grown up food. I decided before his 3rd birthday to stop and made sure I told him in advance and then after we had his birthday and he was 3 I told him no more and he gave it up without much of a fuss. The only embarrasing times were when he would just walk up to me and lift up my shirt and try and help himself "mommy boobyside please" no matter where.. That's when I really knew in my mind it was time. I now have a 9 month old and am breastfeeding. I will most likely keep going with it as long as he wants or until he turns 3. It helps if you have supportive family and friends but as long as you trust your own instincts as a mommy you will always do what is best for them and you. Good luck!

Ashleigh - posted on 01/02/2010

I nursed my daughter until a month after she turned 3, I had to quit because of health issues on my part but feel like I did the best thing I could for her. By that time she was ready to wean and neither of us had any issues with the weaning process. I think every child is different and who knows them better than their own mother! Plus you can always remind people (especially men) that Michael Jordan was breast-fed until AFTER his second birthday, I think he was 3!

Courtney - posted on 01/02/2010

I carry around statistics in my head so I can use them to ward off any nay sayers.

For example, 'By BFing, at two years I will have lowered my chances of developing type 2 diabetes by 30%'.

Or if they have really annoyed me I tell them I don't mind driving to her school for booba at recess, that usually stops them in their tracks :P

Kendra - posted on 01/02/2010

I would honestly just nevermind them. I think it's excellent that you've decided that's right for you and your child. If they say anything perhaps remind them that are being judgemental and are hurting your feelings. Keep up the good work :-)

Kristina - posted on 01/02/2010

Think of your son before you think of what ppl are going to think of you. Breastfeeding is something that brings you and your son closer together. Its awkward for people because they are closed minded. I breastfed my son till he was 7 months. And i regret not keeping up with it because its so good for him. Go as long as you feel comfortable with. More power to you ma if you want to go till hes 2 then thats amazing!!!

Heather - posted on 01/02/2010

I like that Nicole! I may have to use that the next time someone gives me a hard time! :)

Nicole - posted on 01/02/2010

we are doing baby led weaning too- my goal is to keep phoebe nursing until two at very least. when I get flak, I uncontrollably spew facts about natural duration nursing (also known as extended bf ing but extended makes it sound abnormal soo I have taken it upon myself to change the lingo).

Heather - posted on 01/02/2010

Don't let what everyone else thinks stop you from continuing your nursing relationship. Extended breastfeeding is a WONDERFUL thing and has many benefits! I'm a strong believer in child led weaning. I nursed my son until he was 27 months, when he weaned himself, and am nursing my 18 month old, and plan to let her self-wean also. As far as how to react to others that make rude and uneducated comments, just provide them with facts and information about extended breastfeeding and if they're still going to judge you, just ignore them and remind them of just how many two year olds you see walking around with bottles and pacifiers. Good luck and you're a good Mama for giving your baby/toddler the best thing you have to offer. :) Be proud for what you're doing!

Cori - posted on 01/02/2010

Well I would do what is best for you. We are the only culture that finds the natural act of nursing inappropriate. I am a working mom and still nurse my 14 month old at night. I feel that it is still a good bonding time for her and after my busy day..... and it does not hurt her... it does more good than bad, whenever you do something that is more good than bad, you cannot go wrong.

Lori - posted on 01/02/2010

I say its up to you and your child. when you two as a couple are ready to quit you will figure it out. I just did not tell others what I was doing. I breastfed 5 kids each child was different. some weaned before two and two of them wanted to do it longer. It was was alright and we all survived.

Tracie - posted on 01/02/2010

I nursed my daughter until 22months and the only reason I quite was I was Pregnant again. But I felt the same way with my friend they just didn't understand most of them nursed 3months and did formula. But my daughter was never sick until I quite nursing her so, I am for it nurse as long as you feel comfortable. You just need to tell them I raise my child my way and you yours. I just quit talking to them about it. They all thought I was winged way before I really was. :) Now getting her winged was a different story that took a lot of crying fighting nights. When they are older they know your taking it away to me is the only down side of nursing older in age.

Amy - posted on 01/02/2010

In a word (or phrase), to heck with the rest of them. It is no one's business but your own (and your child's) how long you nurse and when you wean. As for the gossip, it is never attractive, no matter the subject. Maybe find a way to tactfully let your family know that you are leaving gossip out of your conversations as a concession to teaching your son to become the best, most caring person he can be. Point out that personal choices are just that; personal. And that since those choices don't affect the quality of their (your friend's and family) lives, maybe a different topic would be better. I've been where you are. Unfortunately, my son and I didn't quite make it to 2, but we got within 6 months,which I think is a great accomplishment. I had to deal with my mother in law making comments from the start, and then more and more family, friends, and co-workers making comments about when I was going to be weaning my 1+ year old. I told them it was my choice and my son's decision when he would wean, and when they saw that I was serious, almost all of them let it go.

Just stick to what you know is best for you and your son. Likely, you won't be able to change their minds, but you can make sure that they respect you enough to be quiet about their feelings about something that really isn't any of their business. GL!

Tiffanie - posted on 01/02/2010

My son just turned 2 and I am beginning the process of weaning. I worried a lot about how hard it might be to wean him, but the funny thing is that it seems to have its own natural progression. He went from multiple daily feedings at 18 months to only nursing in bed (morning, nap and night) to now only nursing at bed time for about 3 minutes. My milk is almost gone and I am drinking sage tea to dry up what is left. In the meantime, I talk with my son about how the milk is almost gone because he is a big boy and no longer a baby and he is starting to get it. Overall, as your nursing relationship plays out, you may find that your nursing happens at times of the day when others do not see and it may not be a social issue at all. Good luck and keep strong! You know what is right for your baby.

Jennifer - posted on 01/02/2010

Are you planning on nursing as the primary form of feeding or as a supplementary feeding? If it's just something you plan to do first thing in the morning or at night before bed with regular meals between, then you could just not tell them. It's not really their business. If it's still the primary method of feeding approach it from the purely medical point of view. The American Academy of Pedriatrics recomends going through age 2. The health beneifts increase the longer you nurse.

Or, you could sarcastically ask them if they thought it better to feed your 18 month old french fries from McDonalds.

Erin - posted on 01/02/2010

you go girl!! i only just stopped breastfeeding my 21 month old because i'm pregnant again and my iron levels are low, and wanted to give my body a bit of a break before baby #2! i would have kept going otherwise....

Kiva - posted on 01/02/2010

Wonderful advice from lots of supportive women on this site!!! I was in my 20's with my first 2 children and was concerned about what others thought. Now at 37, I know what is comfortable for me and my baby (16 months). I don't worry about what others think. It helps to find a few supporters...friends, family, co-workers... I have 3 co-workers who nursed their babies (who are grown up now) until ages 2 and 3. I ignore the comments from the non-supporters. :) I also have told people that at my age, it is easier to breastfeed since I need my sleep at night and she is a co-sleeper. (It always gives people a chuckle).

Aileen - posted on 01/02/2010

I am currently bf my 16mth old daughter and the health benefits for her out weigh any negative comments.She has never been sick or required antibiotics. I plan to continue until after the winter or when she decides she no longer needs to. Personally the more negative response I get, the more determined I am to do what suits me.On the whole I get a positive response but maybe thats to my face!!! I once read the more exposure people get to breast feeding the more accepting they are.If more people considered breast feeding longer then maybe this will be treated as normal practice and not a source of ridicule. So at the end of the day do what suits you and your baby.

Andrea - posted on 01/02/2010

I didn't read all the replys so I hope I am not repeating anyone. The World Health Organization recommends BF for TWO years. We are one of the very few countries who see BF as odd and "unnatural." I have friends in Europe who find it odd that the US is so judgmental and against BF.



That said, I BF my first for a 1.5 yrs and #2 for 27 mos. Here is the one that make people say things....I breastfeed my DD (child #3) while pregnant with #4 and I am currently tandem nursing! DD just turned 3 in Nov. She BF at night and when she first wakes up. She knows that the baby's needs come first, and she is very good about it.



People talk. People judge. I, however, could careless because I keep the people who are supportive close and the others I ignore. I made the decision to tandem nurse because DD has some pretty severe food allergies and I know that the more breastmilk the more likely she will outgrow these allergies.



I would like to add that she is incredibly healthy. All my kids are. When they do get sick they get better faster than mopst kids. BF has given their immune systems a huge boost :) There are so many other benefits to longterm BF also.



Did you know that your breastmilk constantly changes composition to meet the needs of your child? Between ages one and two your child needs extra fat for optimal brain development (hence the reason for drinking whole milk at this age). Well, your breastmilk gets fattier to meet this need! Breastmilk is so amamzing!



I say go for it! You are a good mom and you need to do what you feel is best for your child.

Sheryl - posted on 01/02/2010

You've gotta feel sorry for these people....they don't realise how much good there is for both baby & mum from extended breastfeeding. You are giving your baby the best start in life by breastfeeding. Tell them that your baby is self weaning & that you intend to breastfeed as long as your baby needs / wants to. Keep up the good work.
My DS is 2yr 5mths, still breastfeeding 1 or 2 times a day.......5 times the other day when he was feeling sick. World average length for breastfeeding 4 years!

Catherine - posted on 01/02/2010

Choose what is best for you and your family.
I was weaning my 17mth old when she got sick. The hospital told me to keep feeding her and to increase it to 8 times a day, we did this for almost 3 months. I feed her until she was 23 mths old. My son and I enjoyed a beautiful breastfeeding relationship for 27 months.

Mrs. - posted on 01/02/2010

It is up to you and your little one! In my life I have breastfed for a total of 5 years and 1 month, over 3 children. My youngest was exactly 3 months away from his 4th birthday when I weaned him. You cannot let anyone else make this decision for you! I almost went to jail for breastfeeding in public, even though I had a 6 ft. blanket covering myself and my son (nobody could see anything). We also walked out f 2 food places w/o paying b/c they tried to tell me I had to either go out to the vehicle or to the bathroom to breastfeed our son, b/c it was making people uncomfortable just 'knowing' what I was doing under the blanket! Tell them that if the cannot respect your family and your decision, then they do not have to be around you until you until they decide to grow up. If they are true friends, it should not matter as long it is what you want to do. I even have a breastfeeding support rubber bracelet! It is your choice, not theirs! You are doing your little one the way that makes you both happy. Happy Breastfeeding!
P.S. After I made it clear to our family/friends that it is up to us to make the decision and that no matter what they had to say about it, it was still going to happen for as long as needed, they either shut up about it or quit talking to me. I didn't care, it just proved to me who was true to my family and our choices. Sorry for rambling, it just upsets me that people are so "prude" about breastfeeding but have no problem seeing a female in skimpy clothes.

Jen - posted on 01/01/2010

As a mama, you have to be confident in your parenting choices. Nurse your little one as long as you want (just I would advise not being that woman with a 9 year old attached to her boob). My little one will be 2 next month and although I'm *so* ready to be done he's not so we continue to nurse. I never even thought that perhaps culturally I'm outside the norm because to me at that age they are still babies. Trust your parenting instincts and don't look back. No matter what people are constantly in judgment of everything we do so let them be as they wish and you do what feels right. Best wishes.

Amy Beth - posted on 01/01/2010

Ignore them as best you can ... I nursed both my kids past age 2. When they get sick and you can provide them comfort, easily absorbed fluids & nutrition, and immune support, you will know it is worth it. My response to people was "I'm waiting until he/she seems to be done with it." I had statistics at the ready, but that rarely changed minds. As more Mom's nurse as long as it feels right, the culture will change ... but that is a very slow process. Good luck!

Stacy - posted on 01/01/2010

good for you!! all that really matters is what you and your son want. i know all the benefits of long term bf that i don't let anyone try to discourage me (even when it's my own husband asking!)

NAOMI - posted on 01/01/2010

I am still breastfeeding my son and he's now 25 months old. There is so much ignorance out there I would recommend that you check out this world health organisation web site http://www.who.int/child_adolescent_heal... and http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/s... an australian breastfeeding association fact sheet on sustained breastfeeding so you are well informed and comfortable with your decision then you will be able to educate those around you when the opportunities arise. I hope this helps.

Deana - posted on 01/01/2010

I have a 20 month old daughter that I am still nursing. I had planned on stopping by her first birthday but she didn't want to. I feel you should nurse as long as your baby wants. I can honestly say she is a very healthy child and it is because of nursing. This is your baby and your decision so do what you feel is best.