tandem nursers: how did your older baby cope during your hospital stay for giving birth to the next one?

Nicole - posted on 02/24/2009

Sweet Nancy, I am SO glad to hear that... you are so right, "creepy" feeling is right. Or even sort of like butterflies in my tummy or something... I can only nurse so long and I start feeling "creepy" as you say and that's it, I have to stop for a while. Again, thanks for the info, so glad to hear it'll go away when the new babe is here, for both their sakes!

Nancy - posted on 02/24/2009

The pain and "creepy" feelings that are experienced while nursing during a pregnancy, from both of my experiences, went away immediately upon the new baby's birth. 

I had read that it was true but was shocked when it actually happened...both times!

Nicole - posted on 02/24/2009

My son is 26mo. Our hospital does allow the family to be there, it's a matter of if I can stand it. When I am nursing him and I get braxton hicks contractions I can't stand to be nursing him... so I anticipate needing the break. I think he'll do just fine too. I work full time doing computer tech support, from home thankfully, but I have had to go to training a couple times in 2008. He did just fine while I was gone 8+ hours. So I think while I am being induced and in labor (we don't want him to witness the labor as he's only 2) he's going to need to be at home w/aunty or grandpa. Then once the baby in here, if all is going ok, he definitely is welcome to come see us and nurse then. I think it'll be ok, but it's going to take some planning and extra comforting while we're away.

Itsamystery - posted on 02/23/2009

Nicole, how old is your older baby? Could the person who is looking after him bring him in during the day while you're being induced? Is it a hospital which allows your partner to stay? If so your partner and son might be able to stay at the hospital with you and then he can nurse to his heart's content. If he's older, he might cope just fine with fewer feeds and then get straight back into nursing again when he's with you. THat's what my toddler does when he has a day or a sleepover with grandma

Itsamystery - posted on 02/23/2009

Hi Nancy, I am currently trying to wean him and hoping to get the job done before the next one comes, BUT he's reluctant to wean and I don't want to push him if he's not ready, so I'm mentally preparing for tandem nursing, even though I would really rather not. He would be able to nurse when he comes in to visit each evening, but I actually thought that if he's with someone else for 4 days it might be a good opportunity to get him fully weaned. I guess that might not work though because, as you found, seeing the new baby nurse will probably peak his interest.

I'm having a c-section by choice after having a c-section last time. I'm going for a c-section because if I'm going to give birth naturally I want to do it NATURALLY and the chances of that are very slim. I can't go to a birth centre because of previous c-section and the fee for a home birth is too high. At the hospital I'm going to, if I birth vaginally there's a 1 in 20 chance I'll end up with a 3rd or 4th degree tear and a 1 in 5 chance I'll be given an episotomy, which adds up to a 1 in 12 chance I'll have stitches in my vjj. So, if I'm going to have stitches, I'd rather have them in a place I don't use every day. Plus this hospital has only has a 40% successful VBAC rate so I'd rather just skip straight to the deed than labour AS WELL as have a c-section. I know I could fight all this and have a birth plan and be assertive about what I want but I'm not that fussed about having a c-section. My last c-section was fine and I was moving about with no problems by day 3 and fully pain free by day 6. I also I didn't find that having a c-section interfered with nursing last time and really have no complaints about it at all so am happy to do it again.

Thanks for sharing your experiences... keep them coming :)

Nicole - posted on 02/23/2009

I am 33w pregnant with my second. I have polyhrydramnios (excessive amniotic fluid) and am looking at an induction this time around to control the birth as that is where the risks are at this point since we cannot find anything wrong w/my daughter structurely, although there could still be chromosomal issues. URGH!
Anyway, I was in labor start to finish only 4.75 hours w/my son. My water broke at 5:30p and by 10:17p he was here naturally, med free. Who knows how it'll work this time around though.

I actually need to talk w/my Dr. about induction meds and nursing my son... what if the induction takes a couple days... I need to still be able to have my son come visit during the day and nurse. Not sure about this actually.

But, the plan is for him to be w/relatives during the actual birth. He'll have to have his smoothies, water and likely since it's a special occasion, watered down juice which we normally do not do. Then when he comes to visit, I plan to nurse him, even if I end up with a section.

But, I know I need to be flexible w/this, but my plan is to tandem nurse and be away from him as little as possible, if possible.

Nancy - posted on 02/23/2009

Both times I gave birth while still nursing an older child, the child came to and stayed at the hospital with me.  My oldest was actually in the room when I delivered my second because the birth happened quickly after arriving at the hospital.  She tandem nursed with her sister within an hour of me giving birth.  She stayed at the hospital with us until it was time to go home.  When my second was born, she was stubborn and more than 2 weeks late, so the older girls were at the hospital some but went and did other things with my mom during much of the time as it took more than 1 1/2 days for them to induce me.  After the baby came the girls stayed in my room with me for one night and "had a sleepover" with my mom the next night then stayed with us at the hospital the third night.  My older nursling would nurse when she was there and wanted to and realized that she had to wait until she saw me when she was away.

(I had a c-section with my oldest, but insisted on VBAC with my second and third so that I did not have to worry about how to nurse an older child while recouperating.)

Is there a reason he must be away from you the entire time during your stay at the hospital? I can understand why you may not want him there the entire time but don't understand why he would need to be away from you the entire time. 

If he is as interested in nursing as my girls were after the baby came he may want to go back to full time nursing for a week or so after the new baby comes home.  Both times I had a baby with an older nursling that happened.  It felt like it would last forever, but it was really only a short time.  I was able to hold the older one facing one way and put the baby on their lap facing the other way in order to nurse.  If you have a c-section you will have to find other ways to nurse an older baby because you will be hurting, so you may not be able to nurse both together for a while.

If you are wanting to wean him I would recommend doing it slowly between now and the time you have the baby so that he does not associate weaning with the baby and feel more resentment toward the baby for "taking away" something he enjoys doing with you.

I am also being nosy asking why you think you will need a c-section with this birth?  I had a c-section with my first but went on to have two vagional births with my second and third daughters because I wanted to avoid surgery and the pain and healing time it causes.  I know it is none of my business but I am curious...

JC - posted on 02/23/2009

Yes i think 3-4 day without nursing should do it BUT when your toddler sees you they might want it. I know my son never even thought about when i was in the hospital but our first night home when I nursing our baby he wasnt happy with me. It made it harder on him when i was bouncing back and forth nursing them. so I just stoped nursing him. He for got all about it and now knows it's for babies.