to stop or not

Tanya - posted on 11/11/2010 ( 44 moms have responded )

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i am having a tough time deciding if i want to continue breastfeeding or not. it is getting to be so tough for me. the lack of sleep and the soreness isn't helping me either. also the fact that i have a two year old running around. i didn't breastfeed with my daughter and i felt fine about that. and i am ready to stop with my son but really feeling guilty about it. i'm really not to sure what to do. any suggestions??

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Britany - posted on 11/13/2010

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If you want to stop, STOP! people should not make you feel so guilty about it they say the first 2 weeks is the most important...as long as you tried your best thats all that matters some women cant breast feed at all ! There babys are fine. I know lots of people that only had formula and let me tell you they turned out just fine! just keep in mind how much more work formula is and how much more expensive it is...What I do is pump my milk then put a scoop of formula in it before bed and he sleeps much longer then when I dont do that. and the pumping keeps your milk up and the scoop of formula in it helps him sleep its a win win...but honestly if you want to stop just stop dont be un happy becuase of societys pressures...breast feeding comes in and out of style in my moms day it was only for the poor people so everyone used formula and the formula back then was not nearly as good as the ones now!...alright im done!

Brittany - posted on 11/11/2010

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i agree, it WILL get better! thats not from experiance but fact. i really would suggest to stop feeding him formula because thats less stimulation at the breast and youre going to create a bad habit. ex: right now your LO is probaly going through a growth spurt and say youre making 3 oz. and he needs 5 oz. you are not letting your body make that extra 2 oz. because it doesnt know it needs to and thats why you think he isnt getting enough. it may be frustrating at first but within a day your body should adjust to his new needs of needing more. just bare with it and go with the flow... (no pun intended) instead of giving him that formula after each feeding let him take the other side or just continue suckling. that will help stimulate the glands and signal that more is needed. or to even jump start producing more simply pump the opposite side he feeds from. dont feed him that milk, just store it for later. the extra stimulation will help your body get on track with him.

Lucy - posted on 11/20/2010

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Keep going! It's such a wonderful experience and i agree with the others you should get some help if you're still sore.
Britany - it's NOT the first 2 weeks that are the most important, it's the first 6 months! And the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years.

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2010

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are you using lansinoh cream after each feeding? that should help with the soreness. and the first month or so is the hardest, with my 1st my nipples cracked and i would be in tears each feeding the first month, but i used the cream every time and my nipples got tougher. do not give him formula after he nurses, when you do that your not letting him tell your body that he is growing and needs more to eat each feeding. just let him stay nursing until he doesn't seem interested anymore, doing that will tell your body to make more. also try pumping every now and then just to increase your supply with him. trust me it gets better, i hope this helps

Chelsea - posted on 11/19/2010

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With my second, I had the same thoughts. It was hard, I was tired and I just wanted to quit. I too felt guilty because I really WANTED to nurse, it was just the day to day overwhelming feeling. For me, I set small goals and re-evaluated after those 'milestones.' First, I committed for 6 weeks. When she was 6 weeks, I felt like I could make it to 8 weeks...then, it was 3 months, then 6 months. I ended up nursing until 18 months BUT as I approached each step, I gave myself permission to quit if I still felt like I needed to once I got to my goal. I don't know if this will help or not, but for me, it took the pressure off of nursing being an "all or nothing."
One final thought, I nursed but I also supplemented with goat's milk at 2 mos. because I wasn't producing what I felt she needed--which was another reason I was so frustrated with nursing.

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Tine - posted on 12/13/2010

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Get yourself some support! :-)
You are doing a great job with your son, and everyone needs people to support thier choices and the hard work we put into mothering. Can you find a La Leche League meeting or similar, or just hang out with some other breastfeeding mums? Surrounding yourself with people who understand and can provide not only emotional support but also practical advice and help is so important.

Of course it is your choice to make, and only yours.

I'm sure you know all about why breasfeeding is the way to go; it's the normal food for babies, and gives them the best start. But what most mums don't get info about is how to overcome the practical difficulties, and what is normal, and what to expect. As the other mums here have said, it WILL get easier! At 2 months, my daughter and I were feeding as if we had always done so. Yet at 3 weeks, my nipples were bloody and raw because she couldn't attach properly - for a while there she was getting as much blood as milk! The pain... !!! But we kept working at it, and then ... it just became natural.
You will have this too.

I also had supply issues, low supply as a result of being induced (few people know that birth interventions like induction, drug pain relief and c - sections can cause breastfeeding problems), and taking LOTS of fenugreek (I went through a bottle of tablets in 3 days) - helped a LOT!! And avoid supplementing with anything - you body produces more milk in response to the milk being removed and the sucking your baby is doing, and if you are giving him formula then he will be sucking less and removing less milk, so you will produce less.

Hang in there, you're doing a great job! :-) :-) :-)

Melissa - posted on 11/21/2010

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i understand completly! my son was 21months when my daughter was born. i ws determined to bfed and i did through all sorts of cracks, scabs, blocked ducts, mastitis. it was mental. sometimes i would be just crying while nursing cause i was so overtired and sore, really bracing myself and clenching my teeth everytime she would latch. then, like CHELSEA mentioned i took it in small steps. i kept saying to myself :if i can just make it to 3 weeks, 6weeks, 8 weeks etc...and now she is 15 months and self weaning. there were times where i was soooo ready to throw in the towel and i would NEVER look down on anyone who gave it there all. im not really pro formula, but i'll tell u what i recently told one of my gfs...do what is right for u, obviously bfeeding is best for baby, we all know that, but ssometimes throwing urself into a total state of depression or frustration ,or whatever the feeling is for u, is just not worth it. u have to stay healthy for ur kids. even if supplementing gives u a break or if u can pump and let dad take over a feed so u can relax for a cpl hours to get some rest and just gather ur marbles, then do it! best of luck to u!!

Cat - posted on 11/20/2010

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The first few weeks are the hardest, but it will be SO worth it. Also, how do you know he needs to be "topped off" with formula? Most babies won't refuse a bottle when offered. I'd lay off the formula all together and just keep nursing on demand. It'll get easier soon, I promise :)

Tulika - posted on 11/20/2010

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Breast feed until at least 6 months or 12 if you can - babies get a lot of natural immunity from you! Also, it does get absolutely easier with time and I agree that agree with many moms here who have said that the flow does improve with time and effort. A little perseverance may pay-off quite a bit.
Good luck!

Nicole - posted on 11/18/2010

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Hi darling! So first and foremost, do what is best for YOU and your family. Obviously we are all big supporters of breastfeeding but if you are overwhelmed and miserable then no one is happy. If you are feeling guilty about stopping, have you asked yourself if you are worried about what others will say or is it guilt based on you feeling like you are quitting, etc? I ask because I think your answer lies there. If you are feeling guilty because it comes from you then I would suggest that you aren't quite ready to quit just yet. If you are merely concerned with what other may think then it sounds like you are good with stopping but still hanging on to keep others happy.

One thing you can do if it works better is to formula and breast feed. My first son was fed this way... I had such a hard time bfing with him and that is how it worked out. Just know that it becomes very easy to quit when formula is introduced. We successfully went 9 months doing both. My second son just weaned at 19 months of all bfing. I have to say that brin is a full time job in itself but I promise that it does get easier! New babies are challenging in the first several months so if you can stick with it the bfing part is just another piece to your day. All in all, go with your gut. You have been doing a wonderful thing by bfing this long so be proud of that! Much luck in your decision!!

Carolina - posted on 11/16/2010

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Don't feel guilty. You need to do what's right for you and your family. A healthy baby needs a healthy mother and if it's too much for you and you want to stop, then stop. I've been breastfeeding my baby boy exclusively, but it's been such a challenge! He went on a nursing strike at 3 months and we went to see so many lactation consultants and LLL. When he finally came around to nursing again, I thought all would be fine, but he's still so fussy. It's gotten to the point where I'm on anti-depressents now because nursing has been so difficult for us. I'm still breastfeeding now (he's almost 7 months old) because he refuses the bottle, so I'm stuck. What I'm trying to say is that you should do whatever you feel is right because sometimes it doesn't get easier and your health is important as well. Good luck!

Cinda - posted on 11/16/2010

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I read through some of the other posts. The other moms have GREAT advice......getting into a support group (I went every other Wed evening). Lying down to nurse allows you to get a little rest while he nurses especially during your 2-year-old's nap time and at bedtime. The first couple of months are the toughest, at least they were for me. It was so uncomfortable for me, I had to use a nipple shield for a couple weeks until I got use to it. I also agree with discontinuing topping him off with formula. If he knows he doesn't have to work at it to get more, he won't & you will produce less & less milk. Unless you really WANT to stop nursing, then continue in order to slowly & less painfully dry up your milk. Although I'm a "breast is best" kind of mom, every mom has to do what they feel is best for themselves & their family. If you really want to stop, then stop. Just really think about it before you do b/c many moms that stop early on regret it later. If you continue for a few more weeks, you can always stop later but once you STOP, it's near impossible to start again.

My son will be 2 next month & still nurses as much as he wants / "on-demand". I absolutely love it but not everyone does. My son, who goes to day care with all the other kids & their germs, has never been sick until last week. He got 'croup' but his fever broke & he was on the mend in less than 24 hours. I'm convinced that the immunity properties from the breast milk played a large roll in both his recovery from being ill last week & in him not getting sick at ALL until then.
What ever you decide, embrace it & move forward without regrets or second-guessing your decission.
Good luck & enjoy motherhood to the fullest.

Teri - posted on 11/16/2010

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I think it's around 6 or 8 weeks that things settle down with bf. if you can take it one day at a time, the benefits are truly so worth it. When a large formula mfr has a huge recall of their formula due to beetle infestation, I'd stick to bf -- corporations do not have your child's best interest at heart.

Amanda - posted on 11/15/2010

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dont feel guilty ... no matter the length you tried! your bby will still benifit from it :) its really not easy.. i myself wanted to give up after a few weeks but chose to stick it out my goal then was to make it to 3 months, all went well i was gunna try for 6.. im at 5 now n im ready to wean her from myself.. you have to rememebr too you dont haver to give up completely.. theres the option to pump and store and bottle feed your breast milk.. so you really dont have to quit intirely.. jsut something to look intoo :)

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2010

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I had a really hard time with my first.He wasnt getting enough I was cracked and bleeding. I was desperate for some kind of relief, every time he'd latch on I'd be crying in pain. I read an article and one part stuck with me, the woman in the article said that it got better over time and she was glad she stuck with it. So I told myself every day at every feeding that it would get better. And it did, I nursed my son for 18 months and my daughter is now almost 6 months and nursing happily. Maybe try pumping and then bottle feeding your expressed milk for a few days. It will give your nipples the chance to heal and provide you with a visual on how much he is getting. The more you express the more you will produce so do it every couple hours. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Wow, reading Tiffany's post made me remember something.

At one point I tried to wean, and i started getting horrible anxiety/panic attacks. Didn't realize what it was at first until my friend said it was panic attacks, and that it happened to her when she weaned her son.

So I went right back to nursing, and it went away.

Apparently, nursing causes us to have higher levels of oxytocin, which is the hormone of love and feeling safe and secure and like everything is fine. It is powerful stuff.

Tanya, You need that oxytocin now more than ever!

Tiffany - posted on 11/15/2010

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My advice is to keep going and this is why. I was in the same position as you. I was over tired, moody, cranky, etc. I now know that I had PPD. It was very hard for me to keep breastfeeding, but I do regret stopping so much. I lasted until 12 weeks but I supplemented with formula as well because I thought that my baby wasn't getting enough. At the hospital I was told she should be eating 10 to 15 minutes on each breast...she only at about 5 to 7 minutes on one. Now I know she was getting what she needed. Some babies can get enough of your milk in 7 minutes. I'm just letting you know that it WILL get better, and I wish I had kept breastfeeding longer then I did. IF you do decide to stop though, don't let others make you feel guilty as hard as it is! Formula is not going to harm your child like some say. Not ALL Moms can breastfeed. Do what you can do and if you have to stop, take pride in knowing you did it for 4 weeks. I will say this though, if you're already feeling guilty and haven't even stopped yet...you're probably not ready to stop. Good Luck! =)

[deleted account]

Didn't read all the replies...

Gosh, what a shame it would be if you stopped now, before getting to all the good stuff. You have so many beautiful breastfeeding experiences ahead of you!

When they are so little, they need to eat soooo often because their stomachs are so tiny. But they grow soooo fast!

We had a lot of trouble in the beginning, then nothing but happy nursing times for the next 2 years. It is worth persevering through the rough beginning.

Tania - posted on 11/14/2010

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I would highly recommend talking to a La Leche League leader. They are the experts in breastfeeding and they will be able to give you great advice on how to feed so your baby is feeling full after each feed and top ups with formula wont be necessary. Plus they can help you with ways to manage feeding with a toddler around, different positions, ways to reduce the soreness. They will also give you help if you decide it is best for your family to stop feeding.

I know it is hard work breastfeeding, but once you get it working well it is much easier than bottle feeding (I have done both) and I encourage you to give it everything, get all the help and information you can from as many sources.. before you make any final decisions.

Brooke - posted on 11/14/2010

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Believe me it gets so much better! My daughter took a tiny whole out of my nipple in the 1st week so I'm literally balled every time she latched on but I knew that breastfeeding was important and a good bonding experience(and free) so I got thru it and now my daughter Is 7 months and I'm still breastfeeding. It's a wonderful time between a baby and momma :) and the sleeping gets better too! My daughter sleeps from 10 to 8 then 830 to 11! And she is used to not nursing so often.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2010

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You are the mom! You do what your heart tells you to do and don't look back. I will say at 4 weeks your breasts shouldn't be so tender. If you decide to continue I agree with the other ladies that recommended making an appt. with a lactation consultant. Someone who can observe and determine if your baby is getting a good latch. I went in to see mine 1 week into breastfeeding with cracked bleeding nipples. I was curling my toes and fighting the urge to toss the kid across the room everytime she latched. Turned out we had a sorry latch and a few adjustments made all the difference in the world. In fact the relief was immediate. Despite the cracks once she latched on properly I had no pain. My little one also started sleeping better at about the four week point. I moved her to her own room and she started sleeping for 5 and 6 hours during the night. Day time was still busy with numerous feedings but it's a whole lot more tolerable when you've had more sleep!!!
We all know that the breast is the best and any amount of time at the breast is better than none at all. I would encourage you to not give up. You ultimately have to make that decision yourself and you can't live with guilt!!! I fought to make it to a year. It was difficult after returning to work when she was four mos old and I did have to supplement during the day with formula as I couldn't keep up with the pump. Evenings and weekends were nothing but the breast. I really struggled to maintain my supply from additional pumping sessions during the day to supplements. My daughter is now 2.5 years old and has yet to wean!!! She only nurses in the evenings and some weekend mornings. I feel like the end is near and I am ready for it.

Good luck in whatever decision you make and just remember that there will always be other mothers that did it differently and believe that they did it best. You just have to know that you did it best for you and your family!!! Big hugs!!!

Melissa - posted on 11/14/2010

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Evaluate for yourself why you're feeling guilty about stopping. Is it your last child? Is it because he's a boy? Are you more stressed with 2 children than just one? Are you thinking you should give your son more attention since you already have another child (who no doubt still needs you too)? I'm sure there are other possible questions to be asked, but just really think about what is causing your feeling of guilt. Perhaps when you figure it out, you can decide what to do and you won't guilty in your decision.

Every post assumes your son is 4 wks old. If that's true, I would press on to keep trying bfing. Every mom seems to experience a rough patch at 4 wks. Your new mom excitedness wears off some while your sleep deprivation sets in.

I wanted to share with you that at 7 months, my daughter started becoming a challenge to bf. At 9 months, I was completely frustrated to make her finish a session. She was completely interested in anything else and wiggled so much that I lost my patience. By 11.5 months, I gave up and switched her to a bottle and she LOVED it! What I'm basically saying is that my daughter was trying to wean herself at 7 months, but it was me that got so frustrated because I had wanteed to bf for at least 1 year. We are both much happier now and I wished I had followed her lead earlier.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.

Bridgette - posted on 11/13/2010

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It does get easier!!!! Don't give up just yet! The soreness goes and if you learn to side-nurse you will be able to get some sleep while he nurses. Does it hurt to breastfeed? if so it's a sign of bad latch, definitely get some help with that - once you have the proper latch he'll get more milk faster and it will stop hurting. By feeling guilty you do not sound as if you are ready to give up, persistence is key to sucess, and you can do it!
Given this is your first time breastfeeding it is a learning process for you and your little boy, give yourself time and try and be patient. Educate yourself about breastfeeding and please don't supplement with formula it will only make things harder and reduce your supply. I am curious as to why you feel he isn't getting enough? is it because he feeds more often than your daughter did? breast milk takes an hour to be digested so it's is really normal to be feeding every hour. To increase your supply i recommend you make lactation cookies
! they actually do help increase your supply - the recipe is easy to find if you google it.
Make sure you are drinking a glass of water every feed, if you are dehydrated it can affect supply.... feel free to ask me any more questions, i don't want to come across as pushy. I have been there, i even supplemented for a little while! but i managed to get past it and continued until I got pregnant a year and half later! and you can too you are strong enough to do this, you gave birth, this is just the next step x

Amanda - posted on 11/13/2010

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Hang in there with it, 4 weeks is still very early. I found breastfeeding really hard too, and was definitely thinking of giving up at 4 weeks, but honestly is so worthwhile to keep at it. It took ages before it wasn’t really painful, but once I was through the worst it was the most magical experience. I found it very special bonding time with my son. It is something that only we could do together, and after a time I really looked forward to feeds. It is so important to him and has amazing health benefits. My son was hardly ever ill when breastfed, and when he was recovered quickly due to breast milk - Formulae babies get sick more often and take longer to recover. It also has great emotional benefits for the baby, and too be honest I believe putting them on formulae is damaging for the baby. Lastly it can really helps with shedding baby weight, and I found I could eat like anything and not put on weight.

Tanya - posted on 11/13/2010

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I wanted to add that I have 4 sons, ages ranging from 22 down to 2. The oldest I only nursed for 6 weeks...I then became very sick with pneumonia and lost my milk as I recovered and couldn't care for the baby. The other boys all nursed for over a year. The younger three boys were much healthier when they were young than the oldest...he suffered constant ear infections, once had a febrile seizure with a virus he had, and had many other things. He is a healthy adult now, but I really feel his childhood would have been healthier if I could have breastfed him longer. Just something to consider!
I like all the suggestions to get a lactation consultant. I needed to do the "football" hold when they were very young...it helped them latch better and there was much less pain. With my youngest I thought I was a veteran and wouldn't need much help, but I actually needed the MOST help with him...he didn't latch right and once sucked a blood blister right on to my nipple! Once we got things right, though, things went great and I am so glad I didn't give up!
If you aren't entirely sure what you want to do, give a lactation nurse a try before you give up...it's easier to keep trying than it is to quit and try to start up again! If you still decide to quit, you can feel good knowing you tried the best you could!

Lisa - posted on 11/13/2010

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My son is now 9.5 months old and I'm still breastfeeding him. If you told me this when my child was 4 weeks old, I'd be pretty shocked. I was in so much pain - I was bruised and exhausted. I wanted to give up many times, but I had a lot of people around me who kept telling me to stick it out - people told me it will get better, and I was like, when?!!! Early on, you're breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, which is like 8-10 times a day, I believe... that is a lot of breastfeeding, especially if you're in pain. I think it started hurting me less around 1.5 months in. I had the help of a lactation consultant - my latch was wrong, which was making me bruised, but once I got it right, I just had to get my nipples healed, which was tough considering I had to nurse through that pain. But, I put Lansinoh cream on my nipples and these breast shields/shells so that the nipples could breathe and wouldn't get irritated by touching my clothes, plus I could be covered up by having the shells in my bra under my clothes, which was very helpful since so many visitors would come by to see the baby. I was also in pain because the baby used to suck very hard. It was so sensitive. That first suck would hurt each time I nursed. I would cry and let out a scream with that first suck - it was terrible. But eventually the nipples and areolas because kind of rubbery, and I don't feel any pain - and now he pulls and stretches it, and it doesn't bother me. Pretty crazy.

As for feeling guilty, of course you have to do what's best for you, and the fact that you've already given your baby the benefit of breastmilk is a great thing. But from experience, you should know that it does get better - if you can just put your mind on that thought so you can get yourself through it, maybe you can make it there. I actually enjoy breastfeeding now - it's relaxing, and I'm so glad to give my son this comfort and nourishment. I should add that I only have one child, so I'm sure it's hard with another child running around, who may even get jealous. Maybe your 2-year-old can touch the baby's feet while you're breastfeeding or something, I don't know.

Jennifer - posted on 11/13/2010

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It will definately get better. My daughter is just over 2 months old and a couple weeks ago she started sleeping through the night as well as going longer between feeds during the day! Its a lot less exhausting now, I'm starting to feel more rested and......human again. Also trying different positions so that the latch is more comfortable is great too! Things will get a lot easier. Especially after the 6 weeks. I really wanted to give up too, but I listened to my mother-in-law and it really does get easier!

Ruthy - posted on 11/13/2010

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Obviously you have to do what is right for you. Having breastfed three children, still breastfeeding my third who is now 17 months, I can say there is nothing better(or cheaper- formula is expensive) in this world and I would still go through the infections, terrible pain all over again to be able to breastfeed each of my children for at least the first year. If you're still sore 4 weeks after, then something is wrong. You shouldn't be feeling pain any longer. Have you tried a lactation consultlant? There are crappy ones and wonderful ones. It's worth finding a terrific one. Without them, I wouldn't be breastfeeding. Breasfeeding should be easy and smooth with a GOOD latch-on by this point. The baby, I learned, has to learn too. With the right help, it can open up a whole new world for you- did for me. But at the end of the day, you have to do what's best. By the way, everyone I know is envious of me since my babies, all three always slept beautifully every night and all three were breastfed! It's tough for anyone, breasfed or not, at the beginning in the first few months. Good luck!

Karen - posted on 11/13/2010

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I hated b/f when I started, my little one would actually nurse long enough that it made my nipples bleed and crack (we found out at 6 weeks she was tongue tied, it got better after that) I also used to supplement with formula to give my nipples a break (lansinoh was amazing!), it does take a bit of effort to increase your supply when your ready but your body knows what to do, and it knows when you need a break, listen to it. The best advice I read, well there were 2 peices really 1. never quit on a bad day (and there will be lots) and 2. when you've really and truely had enough push through another 5 days.
My LO is now almost 8 months, and since the 8 week mark, I haven't looked back. I'm so glad I pushed through those extra couple of days. :)
Good luck with what ever you decide and don't feel guilty if you stop, and don't let anyone make you feel guily! you need to do what's right for you.

Sally - posted on 11/13/2010

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It is easy to want to stop nursing when you are tired and sore and the baby is eating ALL THE TIME. BUT!!! if you are feeling guilty and unsure before you actually do it, that is probably a sign that you don't really want to, you just think you should. It will be a lot easier to stop later than to try starting again if you change your mind.
Talk to your lcal LLL leader or a lactation consultant to make sure he is latched properly and to get tips on making it easier. The first few week are always the hardest. It does get better.

Stephanie - posted on 11/13/2010

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As an LC I am always asking first if you have someone evaluate your latch and position? Second how are you supporting your LO? Boppy? Pillows?
I have found from experience that just using a boppy or breast pillow it is not enough. I suggest a boppy on the bottom and a sleeping pillow on top, both tucked into you. Baby and mom are more comfy and you both have a better position. I would definately suggest a local LLL Leader by going to www.llli.org and seeing if you can meet with someone. Don't give up. It is worth it I promise. This is coming from 3 kids, over 7 years of nursing and a LOT of problems. The last one with two other kids. So hang in there and seek help and local encouragement.

Tanya - posted on 11/13/2010

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I just saw an interesting study that said bf moms and formula moms get the same amount of sleep...it's not true that bottle babies sleep better. Not sure if that helps. How old is your youngest? for me, I always made a goal to make it to 6 weeks...by then you are past all the soreness, are in a routine, and things are going pretty well. Also, consider that with a 2 year old running around, do you want to have to remember bottles, formula, etc? BF is very portable! lol No need to feel guilt, though!

Jessa - posted on 11/13/2010

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I promise if you stick with it, it will get better. Your body will produce all that he needs, but if you are supplementing with formula you won't produce as much, it's his nursing that stimulates your milk production.

I am a mother of 4 children ages 1, 3, 4, 6 and getting ready to give birth to my 5th. When you have little ones running around it does get exhausting, but if you keep up with eating and drinking plenty as well as trying to find every way to rest it does get easier and you find a routine that works well for you. What I found when I was nursing my youngest daughter and had a 1 & 2 yr old running around was that it was easier for me to just nurse single sided, it allowed her to get much more of the heavier milk and keep her full a bit longer and it allowed me to rest without paying attention to the clock or changing sides.

Find something your toddler really enjoys doing and keep it only for when you are nursing so it stays new and fun. Mine loved the color safe stuff for toddlers or watching a veggie tales. Once I had something that kept the others entertained for a half hour or so I could sit, nurse, and rest a bit.

I also found that co-sleeping and bedsharing really eased the burden. By keeping my nursing kiddo in bed with me or just by my bed they were able to nurse easier without both of us becoming fully awake. I found that we both rested a TON better at night this way.

When it gets tough, just remember that it does get better as your body adjusts to the new routine and the health benefits are outstanding for your little one :) Good luck and God bless!

Hayley - posted on 11/13/2010

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Hey, don't be feeling guilty about wanting to stop b/f. You have to do whats right for you and your family! What about doing both? and then slowing weaning him off you, that way he is still getting the closes off you but you get some restbite from b/f? Honest don't start to fell guilty about stopping, we all know it's really hard so be proud you have done it for this long xx

Sarah - posted on 11/13/2010

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If you want to stop of course you should and not feel guilty about it. I am an advocate for breastfeeding for as long as possible but not at the determent of your piece of mind. Although as others have said it does get easier and topping him up with formula will slow your supply so if you want to continue breast feeding it may actually be making it harder for you. I remember feeling very overwhelmed not long after I got my second little one home - it is a huge adjustment for everyone. I hope you aren't feeling too stressed and that you can local support from other mothers no matter what you decide to do. Hugs to you.

Marie - posted on 11/13/2010

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It's your decision if you want to give up do it. I breastfeed both my boys. I am still doing it now. I have a 2 and 1/2 year old and 4 month old. You will have goods days and bad but I just stick with it. For me breastfeeding is what your boobs are there for and they will produce what your baby needs if that's all you do. The others are all correct if you use formula then it will effect your milk but thats the decision you need to make. I use a cream called Lansinoh which is expensive but brilliant for sore nipples. It has repaired and sorted me out many a times.

Lauren - posted on 11/13/2010

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Sounds like you could use some hands on help and some sympathy. Try to find a local La Leche League leader to call. They are so nice and can really help. The soreness might be just normal adjustment, or it could mean his latch isn't great. Have that checked by a LLL leader or an IBCLC. Also, giving him formula will only hurt your supply. I think if you get your latch evaluated, you should try just spending a few days in bed with him, letting him nurse whenever. Ask for lots more help with your daughter so you aren't chasing her, too. Nursing is hard at first, but quickly becomes easy, and is so good for you and the baby! Hang in there!

Merry - posted on 11/11/2010

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Don't top him off with formula, that will only cause you to make less milk.
Whatever he sucks tells your body to make more, if he is sucking and not getting any milk that tells your body to make more next time. Your body won't just not make enough unless you are messing with the system by giving bottles.
It gets easier and more fun and rewarding.
And maybe your daughter is unaffected by the formula, but your baby might not be so lucky, many babies have side effects from the formula, some permanent, so I think if you stop and do formula and the baby were to have one of the side effects to formula you would feel so guilty.
You are lucky to have a healthy daughter who ate formula, I wouldn't expect the same results without considering how many babies are badly affected by formula.
You can do it! I promise if you stop doing the bottles your body will make more and it will be so much easier when you aren't bothering with the bottles.

Brittany - posted on 11/11/2010

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i thought about giving up at 4 weeks too especially because of how exhausted i felt but then i thought how selfish that sounded... to give my son something of less quality because i am tired?! i would have slapped myself so hard if i did looking back on it now. lol

Celeste - posted on 11/11/2010

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From your previous thread, your son is 4 weeks? It does get better! It will not always be like this. The beginning can be tough! It's totally normal for newborns to want to nurse what seems like forever. Have you tried lying down to nurse?

Hang in there! It WILL get better!!

Tanya - posted on 11/11/2010

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i am also feeling that i am not able to keep him full. he needs to be topped up with formula every time he eats it seems.

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