To wean or not to wean... that is the question!

Becca - posted on 07/15/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am still breastfeeding my little boy, who will be 15 months old next week. To speak honestly, I am exhausted and feel a little bit that it's time to wean him. I'd also, as selfish as it sounds, would quite like to go for a meal alone with my partner without having to eat at 9pm when I've fed him, but him to bed, got ready and got to the restaurant! However, I am so attached to feeding him and he has never refused the breast. I work 30 hours a week, and in a way I feel like that it is 'our time'. I've heard of self weaning, but don't know a great deal about it, and I have also heard of Mums who get to 18 months and just say enough is enough. I'm looking for advice from both sides really so I can make my own mind up. I love him so much, so please don't think bad of me, and it's not the social prejudice I have issues with. I do feed in public with no qualms what so ever!

My little boy has NEVER HAD A BOTTLE, by the way... so feeding him the milk in a bottle isn't really possible. During the day he has plain water, and some whole milk from a flask type bottle (with a straw). He doesn't really like whole milk. He doesn't have juice. He eats well, and loves all fruit, veg and fish. He's not big on meat, but loves a tender roast chicken ;o), mince beef and liver. I'm just trying to give you information about his diet really. He eats cheese, and yoghurt, and has porridge or museli from the plum range for his breakfasts. He also eats granary bread and doesn't eat a lot of white bread.

Thankyou so much. I'm so stuck on what to do! Becca x

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Celeste - posted on 05/16/2010

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Lindsay, I've been there! I have twin boys and they nursed through the night til they were close to two. It was tiring, especially since they never woke up at the same time. I'd put one down and then the other would wake up. They'd wake up AT LEAST 3-4x's each.

At around 19-20 months, I did Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweanig technique:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleepp...

They cried but they weren't alone. It was imperative that my husband be 100% behind me. The biggest part was consistency. If I gave in, it went back to square one. It was hard, no doubt. But they finally started sleeping through the night in a couple of weeks. But, if you try it, and it goes against your mommy gut, stop. Try again in a few weeks/months.

They are still nursing at 3 1/2 but it's much more manageable since they sleep through the night. I also put limits on them (they only nurse in the morning)

Becca - posted on 05/16/2010

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Ahh Lindsay! That sounds so tiring!

My little lad went through a patch from about 16 months-ish of waking up in the night and wanting to get up and feed etc and then that feed would turn to play. I went days without sleeping. It was a nightmare, I don't know how he had so much energy. It's easy to forget these stages once you've moved on from them. I can't even remember exactly when it was, but I remember crying to a lady at work at around October time because I just couldn't cope with him not sleeping and then going in to work any more.
I'm afraid that by the time it got to Christmas 2009 (20 months) I couldn't cope at all. I was too very against leaving a baby to cry, but I was very ill and couldn't cope any more. I keep saying it, but I really was on the edge.
I left him to cry and within two weeks he was sleeping through.
It's really hard. Really really hard. Lying in bed and listening and feeling like you're an awful parent and worrying about whether you're doing the right thing or not. Completely guilt ridden, I was.
Anyway. Once he started sleeping through, I dropped the night feed. He was having a morning and a night feed.
I dropped the night feed by reading a story downstairs and then allowing someone else to put him in his cot upstairs, instead of me. He cried for the first few days and then he was over it completely.
I continued to feed him in the mornings, as he liked the milk to bring him round :D
However, at about 22 months he took a complete fascination with Postman Pat. I got him a load of Postman Pat toys and within 6 weeks he'd completely weaned himself. He used to get up and want Pat straight away, not 'milkies'.

That's my tale. No doubt it will be COMPLETELY different for you. It always is, but if you can get anything from this then it's definitely a benefit. Even if it's just the feeling that you're not alone and this stressful time will pass :) xx

Lindsay - posted on 05/16/2010

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gosh this is nice to see! my son is almost 16 months and I am really hope in next couple of months he self-weans...He LOVES bfeeding tho so I am hoping he does it on his own....RIght now I bf him before his nap(only if he really asks for it) and at night....problem is he is still waking up once or twice throughout the night and I bf him...I really think he is waking up for comfort of nursing...I am not a fan of CIO-I just can't do it...My husband has gone in to our son's room the past two nights...The first night he was able to rock him back to sleep but last night our son WASN"T having it...he started crying "mama" until a few minutes later I just went in and BF him...I need some inspiration from those BF moms who just let their kids self-wean....Did they do it on their own before two? Did they sleep better at night once they did? thanks mammas!

Celeste - posted on 05/16/2010

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Becca, that is AWESOME!! Congrats on such a great accomplishment!

Becca - posted on 05/16/2010

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Thanks all for your help and support! I made it to 24 months!!!! I'm really proud and he pretty much weaned himself :)
Still no bottles or suchlikes, and I'm so pleased I stuck at it :D x

Kea - posted on 07/15/2009

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Hi Beca, how about giving him one of those snacks at his feedings and perhaps you can spend your time reading to him or talking to him during that time that he is usually breastfeeding..... I am just suggesting that you slowly introduce a new routine... Instead of giving him the breast, give him food and entertainment

Tina - posted on 07/15/2009

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Don't wean... that's my vote. I have nursed my two little ones much longer... and the benefits far out weigh the cons. Enjoy this special time... it goes so fast.

Dbiles - posted on 07/15/2009

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If you're unsure,why not just drop the bedtime feeding? Although this is the last to go many times. I told my son no milk after brushing his teeth, and that got us to stop that feeding - of course that was at 26 mos, not 15 mos. If you decide not to wean yet, maybe he could get pumped milk from the same type of cup he drinks his whole milk from - at least for evenings when you go out, not necessarily every night.

Geneva - posted on 07/15/2009

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I hated pumping at work, so at one year, I decided enough was enough. It took me a week or 2 eliminating feedings a little at a time. my son really hated whole milk so I warmed it & just kept offering it until he took it - didn't take long really. But when I got down to the last 2 feedings (first in am, last in pm) I got a little nostalgic so I kept those. At this point most of his nutrition is coming from other sources anyway. when he was between 13 & 14 mos, he was taking the nighttime feeding so quickly & didn't seem to care if he missed it so I stopped that. Around 15 mos we got rid of the am feeding b/c he was waking earlier & earlier just for that & I knew he did't really need it. Point is, you don't have to wean completely if you don't want to - you can have it both ways!

Arwen - posted on 07/15/2009

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Sounds like he has a nice balanced diet. =) If you're ready, go on ahead! I just started weaning my 18 month old. I thought it was time when she brought me the boppy, set it up on my lap, pointed to my chest, and said, "UH!" I told her weaning would commence the next day. LOL Anyway, I'm sure you know the drill: drop one feeding, do that for a few days, drop another feeding, do that for a few days, and so on until you drop the last meal. Tomorrow starts the week of just one feeding a day before she's fully weaned. No more boobie pads!

If yours is eating stuff with calcium, I wouldn't worry too much about milk. You might try offering him a little every day. You say he's eating yogurt and cheese, those are great sources, so not liking milk isn't too dire. ;)

Laura - posted on 07/15/2009

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If you want info on extended breastfeeding and child led weaning there is lots of good info at mothering.com I've only ever made it to a year but thats cause I have been pregnant before reaching a year both time and my milk dried up. I would love to make it to 18 months at least this time.