Megan - posted on 12/11/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )
I feel extremely guilty for deciding to discontinue breastfeeding, but I gave it the best shot I could. I started as early as possible, but baby wouldn't latch at the hospital, and I finally got him to latch at home. He seemed to be latched well and was getting enough milk to feel satisfied and content. However, I was in EXTREME pain. I visited the lactation consultants at least five times, and was told baby was latching correctly and recieiving adequate milk. I found out I have Reynaud's syndrome and nomatter what I do, I continue to be in such extreme pain that I rountinely cried whenever I had to feed the baby. I DREADED it so much. I don't want to dread feeding my baby, and I don't want to cry every time. It isn't good for me, and it can't be good for him to feel all that stress.
I decided to switch to formula yesterday because I feel like it's more important to have a good relationship with my baby. I still feel terrible that I'm not giving my baby "the best". I love him so much, and I want all the best for him, but not at the cost of my own sanity.
Is there anyone else on this forum who went through the same thing? I wanted so much to breastfeed him for as long as I could, up to a year. I can't continue pumping because I cannot afford a good enough pump, all I have is a manual one. I was formula fed, and I'm a healthy, happy person.