Want to breastfeed in public, husband is uncomfortable.

Cecilia - posted on 07/08/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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I want to start breastfeeding in public because it is sooo much easier than worrying about if I can pump enough milk or if the bottle will stay at a good temperature. Its much easier and more convenient to just feed her on demand. I have said that I would do this and cover up because I go a lot of places with children and I personally would rather cover myself up in front of them, but my husband says NO YOU WONT. I think it makes him uncomfortable more than it does me. In my opinion this is my way of FEEDING my child. Why should I have to make sacrifices and not be able to go where I want because of the way I choose to feed her? It is better for her to do it this way and much easier for me. What can I say to him to BF in public without him being so uncomfortable? Without starting an argument.

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Tamara - posted on 07/08/2010

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My husband was initially very nervous about me nursing in public. At first, I made sure to go where there weren't a lot of people. I remember one time, hubby hovered over me with a blanket and really caused more people to look than if I had just done it myself. However, once my son and I got the hang of it, I could nurse him anywhere, without a cover, and no one could tell the difference.

My suggestion is to practice in front of a mirror, that way you can see how little actually shows.

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Tanya - posted on 07/21/2010

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the more you try to cover up and hide the fact you are breastfeeding the more people notice :).

There are some great breastfeeding tops out there that you hardly even notice you are feeding your baby.

[deleted account]

Your husband doesn't ALLOW you? Sorry, I just cannot get over the idea that people give their husband such power over them!!

Julie - posted on 07/20/2010

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my husband does not allow me to NIP when i am with him but its ok without him there....the first time i did i was very neverous so to work my way up to it i went to my husbands grandmothers home and used a spare bedroom then i gradually started nursing around female cousins then my own brothers and father were around then my male cousins and my husbands family soon i didnt care who was around i was so used to feeding my son with ppl i wasnt bothered by it now i walk around stores while hes nursing.....soon you will too!

Carrie - posted on 07/20/2010

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WOW! My husband doesn't have the power to forbid me from doing anything with my body! Breastfeeding isn't only about nutrition and pumping and bottles introduces a risk of contamination that cannot always be avoided, but I would not chose that risk simply because it made my husband uncomfortable - I'd ask him to step up, be a good Dad and support me! Men often like science, so do yourself some research on the risks of bottles (even with EBM in them) and ask him to justify the risks he wants to take. Try the WHO site, kellymom, Australian Breastfeeding Association, Dr Sears and Dr James McKenna, just to name a few!
Practicing in front of a mirror is a great tip - and I suggest lots of layers, that move in different ways...pull your jacket across, pull your T-shirt up and your singlet down...you'll be working hard to uncover enough to get your baby on...there's nothing to see!

Melissa - posted on 07/19/2010

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Fortunatly, my husband has been very supportive. If my husband were to have a problem with it I woud attempt to point out the ease and convience of nursing rather than bottle feeding (even breast milk is a hassle in a bottle). Also make sure to ask him why exactly he doesn't want you to, and make him give you specific reasons not just because.

Make sure you have a cover, show him how it all works. Maybe he's concerned everyone's gonna get a free show?

Also if he's worried about offending people or getting kicked out make sure you tell him that it is perfectly legal for you to nurse in public. My state has a law that anywhere I can legally be I can nurse, If I get asked to leave it's illegal.

That is just what I'd do with my husband. I hope you can have a nice talk with your husband and iron out any issues

Peggy - posted on 07/19/2010

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Oh and only the infantino bag slings and one other type were recalled. There are TONS of brands to choose from that are perfectly safe. I personally love Rockin baby slings, and Rockin baby pouchs. I have one of each and nurse with both. I walked through the grocery last week for more then 30 min nursing my daugher in my sling no one ever knew.

Peggy - posted on 07/19/2010

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You do what makes you comfortable. He might get upset at first but eventually he will realize it's not that big of a deal. I had huge issues with my husband when I had my first that actually made me stop bfing much earlier then i planned. With my second I just set him down and let im know exactly how I felt. I told him I was going to bf when and where a damn well pleased and he could walk away if he didn't like it. 6 months later he doesnt even notice when were out. I use a pouch sling or ergo carrier and no one else does either.

[deleted account]

Quite frankly, it never occured to me to ask my husband's permission to breastfeed in public! I would just tell him this is what you're doing for this child, fruit of his loins, as Catherine said.

I wouldn't even bother with a cover - I've only seen them in pictures, as they don't seem to be used in Australia,but to me, they seem to shout, "Hey, guess what, everybody, I'm breastfeeding in public!" Just a loose top or jumper that can be pulled up discreetly is far more effective. This shows that you don't need to make special preparations, just grab the baby and go!

Nora - posted on 07/18/2010

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I would tell him that he can choose to nurse or not in public when HE is the one breastfeeding! My husband is Army and I nurse where ever we are without a cover. I haven't had any issues with soldiers staring......I doubt you will either.

Cecilia - posted on 07/18/2010

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i need to find one of those wrap slings. where can I get one? That would make things easier around the house as well when I am doing things and she gets hungry. I think his problem is more that he doesnt want people to stare at me. after all i am his wife I think he is worried about random people seeing my chest. he will start warming up to it i think. It is just going to take some time. he is in the military so its mostly marines around here and that makes him uncomfortable.

Catherine - posted on 07/16/2010

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I'm a little shocked that a husband should have this reaction in this day and age. Especially since your are feed, in the best possible way, the "fruit of his loins". He should be very proud of you, you sound like a top mum. Practicing so you feel comfortable is a great way to get started and there's nothing worse that feeling flustered with an impatient baby in hand so the more confident you are the easier it will be. I did find it hard with my first but since my second and joining a BF group I no longer restrict where and when I feed. My fav peice of out and about kit is my large wrap sling which allows me to feed hands free and therefore continue shopping. I have never had a negative comment or look and have truly fed in the busiest of places (supermarket after school gets out). Your more likely to get someone congratulating you for doing right by your child or saying how nice it is to see happy baby BF.
On the subject of pumping and storage - breast milk can be (and this is from unicef research) kept out of the fridge at room temp when freshly pumped for 24 hours and 8 days in the fridge, although I have never left it in the fridge for more than a few days before use or freezing. I wish I had know that with my first would have made travelling or nights out simpler.

Olivia - posted on 07/16/2010

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what I would suggest and what I personally use is a baby wrap not sling. Its a single sheet stretchy material that breaths very well. and can be wrapped in so may different ways for your different needs. They can be used for up to and I think even past a year old

Kimberly - posted on 07/08/2010

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A sling might also work, as people won't know that you're feeding, just that you're carrying a baby...

Briana - posted on 07/08/2010

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Buy a nursing cover. I have one, and it covers everything, and it pokes out up top so only I can look down and see. I also wrap my arms around my son with my cover tucked in so if he moves his arms or grabs a hold of the cover, it won't move because it's securely tucked in.

Honestly, I would say just one day, whip it out and breastfeed. What's your husband gonna do? Yell at you in public for feeding your kid? Lol. Do it a few times at home with the cover so he can see that everything is covered and not exposed at all. Plus it might help LO fall asleep, say if your walking around grocery shopping. I've had to feed while doing that, and my son falls asleep while eating when I'm walking around with him.

Cecilia - posted on 07/08/2010

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my daughter is only 7 weeks and gets hot so easy. my husband is more worried than i am, i think it feels personal for him to. i dont think he realizes how much of a pain it is to have to go out to the car or see if the place has a nursing room... it would be so much nicer if i could find a way to NIP i need his support

Mary - posted on 07/08/2010

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When my daughter was younger I used a nursing cover. This works better than a blanket because it goes around your neck to stay on. Other than that as someone else said practice at home. I was really nervous at first, but although I try to be as discrete as possible, I've gotten over the fear of NIP. My husband probably has more anxiety than I do, but he's fine as long as I do my best to be discrete. Plus she's 13 months now so there are alternatives as well.

Emily - posted on 07/08/2010

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I know what you mean.... I worry all the time about the milk I pump-is it the right temp, is it still good, is he really taking to the bottle like he should..... I wanted to bf in public just because I thought it would be easy since it is ALWAYS right there with me all the time. Well, I thought it would be really simple but then I went to try it and I just felt uncomfortable. It isn't that I think it is wrong or anything like that. It is I just don't know how people are (there are so many creepy ppl out there), I just didn't want some creeper to be staring at me, even if you couldn't see anything really....It was just the though some creep could be staring at me... I just go to a bathroom or a changing room....if I can't find anywhere like that (like at the fireworks) I just sat down in a place I could find without a lot of people and then had a blanket. If my baby is hungry, I am going to feed him, even if it makes me a little uncomfortable.

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