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weaning a toddler

Karen - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

89

15

My son is almost 18 months, and I feel like I am doing the opposite of the "don't offer don't refuse". I always offer, even if he is not asking for it, as part of our routine. We still nurse 3x (morning, nap, and night). There are plenty of time when he says "down" (as in I want to get down), but I offer anyway, and he nurses.

If he didn't want to nurse, he wouldn't right? He's not pushing me away (like vegetables), but he is not asking for it either (rather I am the one offering). I am struggling with wondering if I am selfish and just not wanting to face the fact that he is not "a baby" anymore. Has anyone been through this? I have a feeling that weaning will be much harder for me than for him.

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2 Comments

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Paige - posted on 07/23/2009

146

32

You are not selfish! He is not a baby anymore either, but that doesn't mean you should be actively trying to wean him. If what you are doing is working for both of you, by all means, keep doing it! He definitely wouldn't nurse if he didn't want to nurse, whether you offered or not.

Nicole - posted on 07/22/2009

637

0

No, no! I don't think it's bad or selfish or anything for you to offer. I still find myself offering to my 2.5yr. old son. But, I think it would be fine for you to go to the "Don't offer, don't refuse" side if you're OK with it and you think he's getting what he needs nutritionally elsewhere... seeing as he may not nurse as much if you go to that.





I am doing child-led weaning, so I am all for continuing to nurse. I think it will be hard for me when my son weans, but knowing it was his choice makes it easier for me.





I suggest if you are happy with nursing, which it sounds like you are, that you take this same approach... don't you push for weaning because you feel like you're being selfish by being proactive in your nursing relationship. That seems to be going from one extreme to the other. Instead, maybe don't offer, or at least as much and leave it up to him. But, you are the mom and you do know what is best. If he's not eating enough otherwise and not nursing enough, then I think you do need to offer.





Another approach though if you are leaning towards wanting to wean would be to night wean and only nurse in the day. This is what my son and I do, for the most part. Although he's been nursing a lot more at night the past few weeks because we have big changes in the house... new baby (15w old), mommy had to go back to work and he's having to go to day care 3 days a week for the first time. So I am letting him nurse at night sometimes too. But, I admit... I too am selfish and I sometimes refuse actually... because I am nursing his sister too and there are nights/mornings where all it seems like I do is turn from one side to the other so I can nurse one, then the other and I get tired of it. My daughter NEEDS to nurse so when I have had enough and need some sleep and she's done nursing for a while, if he asks I say no at times.





It's ok, it's a relationship and thus takes 2. Again, I think if you go for the chlid-led weaning it will be much easier as it'll be more natural.





Keep up the good work, mommy!

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