what discipline is best for a child 13-14months.

Brianna - posted on 02/20/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my daughter is beginning to act out. at least she is a little stubborn and will not do as i say. she's a big thrower of food and sometimes i know she does it just to see how i react. is it too early to introduce the time out mat. i've heard 1minute for each birthday. any ideas????

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Your daughter is probably just enjoying being able to express herself a little. My daughter took delight in doing things her way even when it wasn't my way (she's now 19 months). Distracting her with something else usually works well when she's doing things like...trying to stick her finger in the outlet. I also tell her "no" firmly and that works pretty well. She doesn't like it when mommy is unhappy. Always makes sure to comfort her should she get upset for being scolded so she knows you aren't mad at her.

Emily - posted on 02/21/2011

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you can still take the food away if she's only had one bite. just give her back one bite at a time. if she continues to throw it, she's not hungry. or if she is, she'll soon get the point that throwing food means it's done, and she'll learn to eat it instead of throwing it.

Brianna - posted on 02/21/2011

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I think i wrote my message the wrong way as it was taken a little forcefully by Emily and Kathy.. I wasn't referring to disciplining her so much about food, but wanting ideas as to how parents dealt with the throwing of food. sometimes she throws food when she's only eaten 1 bite so being full i think is a little strange. She does want to (see) what i'll do (sometimes) when she throws the food i am not reading into that. I also do not believe in punishment of a young child, this is definately not my parenting style i was just looking at ways of curbing behaviour (like the full blown tantrum the other morning over changing a diaper). No did not work and there was no reason for it. So i was just looking at ways to help before it potentially escalates. Thanks Hannah your advice regarding telling your child she's naughty or bad is something i will rememeber. also i will think about the time out thing.

[deleted account]

I think it's far too early to introduce formal discipline. She's 13 months old - how on earth could she be throwing food just to see how you react? She could not understand the concept at this age. As others have said, she's just being her age. All children throw food at that age, often when they've had enough to eat. Some good replies, here, all saying much the same thing.

Wait till she's 3!

Emily - posted on 02/21/2011

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She is not being "stubborn".. she is being a 13-month-old. You just cannot expect them to "do as you say" at this age. At least not with any consistency. Most behavior at this stage is communication. If she's so bored that she's throwing her food, to me that means meal time is over. Food goes away. That's how I've always handled it. Timeouts work better with kids who can understand the reason for their behavior and the consequences.. closer to age 3 or so.

[deleted account]

I agree with Hannah about picking your battles. My daughter threw food too at that age. I just ignored it and cleaned it up when we were done. She grew out of that phase for the most part (she's 21 months). If they're doing something dangerous like trying to climb stairs or pulling something over then I think redirection works best. Move them away from the situation and give them something else to do. I really like Dr. Harvey Karp's "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." He has lots of ideas for gentle and positive discipline.

Hannah - posted on 02/21/2011

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I am not very big on formal discipline at this age, I guess it's just my style as a parent to accept a lot of this behaviour as part of growing up and testing boundaries, and I have always just said 'no' moved the food away (my daughter also throws it all over the floor, but usually to show me she has eaten enough!) and rather than use a mat or naughty step I do 'time out' where I don't talk or look at them when they are being naughty........ but I do it in a vague way as I would hate to enter in a battle of wills with a child so young, I see my partner do this and it is awful and escalates into full blown tantrum which is so upsetting and (I think) uneccessary. I always try to tell him it is much better to say no don't do that, then use distraction distraction distraction! (Oh look at that out the window..!)

I guess my advice is to pick your battles and not worry too much about a little bad behaviour, as long as you are saying no in a firm voice and they know what is right and wrong from doing this, personally I would save the mat until she's older. But that's just me, some would say a pushover, but I think my girls are still well behaved!

My eldest is three, and that's when I have found the bad behaviour really begins, talk about stubborn!

But the best thing I ever read was not to call a child bad or naughty, and reject the behaviour, not the child.

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