Lerin - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 118 moms have responded )
I'm just curious how many breastfeeding moms co-sleep at all. Do you get alot of negative comments and attitudes about this?
Lerin - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 118 moms have responded )
I'm just curious how many breastfeeding moms co-sleep at all. Do you get alot of negative comments and attitudes about this?
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Erika - posted on 02/28/2010
I breastfeed and co-sleep. I guess if I worried about other's opinions, I might ask for it, but I don't ask for their opinions, so I don't get negative comments from random people. From my family or friends that make comments, I mention that I started off not believing in co-sleeping, and what my fears were, then I talk about what I realized I had assumed that turned out to be wrong. I don't think that co-sleeping is for everyone, because I think it needs to be done responsibly and consciously. Many moms I know end up co-sleeping because the kids "make" them - they crawl into their beds in the middle of the night. I basically focus on what I thought and did and if they want to ask questions about it, I'm happy to answer. If someone makes a negative comment, I'll try to see it from their side and if it has merit, I'll consider what they say, if it's out of ignorance I'll typically ignore it and won't engage in a debate with that person. It's not worth my energy, imo.
Kristina - posted on 02/28/2010
I wouldn't let what others believe influence your decisions. After all we are the only species that actually has formula as a way to feed our young as if that were a better replacement for breastmilk. I co-sleep with my 2 year old and 4 year old. When they are ready than they will be in there own bed. My 4 year old does sleep in her bed sometimes. I don't kick her our if she comes and sleeps in the bed in the middle of the night.
I am also a believer that I don't let my kids cry themselves to sleep or cry it out period. I believe in raising my children out of love and I feel that when I kick my child out of bed when she wants to be there, I am rejecting her. She is there because of an emotional need. If I can't be her security, than who can? A blanket, stuffed animal? I do it because it is much easier to nurse at night and that the idea of either one of them far away from me is wrong. SIDS is less likely because I could give them stimulation with me being there. Just as we will not be pregnant forever our children will sleep in their own beds.
Tammy - posted on 02/26/2010
I bed share with my 18 month old and my 13 year old and 6 year old sleep in my room on weekends. It works for us and I've never had any really bad comments other then the typical its a bad habit thats hard to break. When they are old enough to go sleep in another room they will. I've had no problems with the older ones sleeping in their rooms and they would if I told them to on a weekend as well. Its nice having them all around me :)
Joy - posted on 02/25/2010
I am not a big fan of co-sleeping at least for myself, I am scared that I will smother my little girl, she is down the hall, I can hear her fine on the baby mon. :) I have had friends who have also had such difficult time getting their kids out of the bed when they were older. Did not want to deal with that myself. Each family has to do what works for them. For us it is not co-sleeping.
Melissa - posted on 02/25/2010
I breastfeed and bedshare, it works wonderful for us! My daughter is 18 months old, I have some friends (without children,) who judge, and make comments. I just say it works well, for our whole family, that's all that matters. We are very lucky to have many like minded friends who are very supportive. It might be different if my husband had an issue with it. I do have some friends who've stopped co-sleeping/ bedsharing because the dad's were done with it.
Yvette - posted on 02/25/2010
We do and no we haven't gotten any negative attitudes. I was surprised that the nurse at my hospital suggested it. I couldn't imagine going to the next room to get her to eat. I love waking up and seeing her right there.
Bethany - posted on 02/25/2010
Yes and yes!
Allison - posted on 02/25/2010
Thank you to all the Momma's that have left all this information about co sleeping because I have a 13 month old that still nurses all night and co sleeps with my hubby and I. We love it as well and I get A LOT of grief and opinions about this subject. I try and ignore it but at times its really hard so to see all these amazing women that are still co sleeping makes me feel so much better. My daughter has never slept in her crib it is in her nursery primarily for decoration and when I talk to most of the women at Mommy and Me classes they all insist that I should not be co sleeping or nursing after 1 for that matter! So it was really refreshing to know that I am not the only one and I am so happy that I have stuck to what I believe regardless of the negativity. Where I live it is almost like other Mom's become defensive when I explain why I love it so much. They must have a guilty conscience or something :)
Kathryn - posted on 02/25/2010
I cosleep with my 14 month old son. My hubby snores and grinds his teeth somuch he is usually regulated to a different bed, but within earshot and always up if there is a commotion. Occassionally our 11 year old daughter comes to bed with us too.
Yes I have had negative comments, especially about my daughter. I am told she is too old. She still wants to so I think it must be something she needs and I let her. It helps us to connect after a busy day of not being together.
Allison - posted on 02/25/2010
We do and we love it!!! My son is 18 months and we still all really enjoy it. Yes, I do get quite a lot of negative feedback on co-sleeping, particularly from my parents. My stance on it is this: WE are his parents, we're doing what's best for our family. End of story. We don't have to please them. I have full confidence that it's benefiting our family and in no way is it hindering my son or making him "clingy" or overly dependent, as many anti-cosleeping people like to claim. Quite the contrary, my son is very independent, confident, knows how to "self-soothe", and is a wonderful, happy kid!
BobbiDee - posted on 02/25/2010
My son is 13 months and we co-sleep with him... the only time i find it difficult is when we are sick or hurt... we have heard a lot of comments about "oh he will never sleep by himself" and the such.. but i am a manic depressant and the co-sleeping and breastfeeding have been so much better for me than medication.. even my Dr's have said so.... I wouldn't change a thing about it.. Just might have to get a bigger bed when we have more kids...lol
Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010
I have 3 boys and all have bedshared with my husband and I. My mom complained about it constantly saying we'd never get them out of our bed. Well, my 8 and 6 year olds have slept in their own room for about 2 years now. My 1 year old still sleeps with us. We have never had a problem with them sleeping with us and franky, I don't think it's anybody's business. I think that bedsharing made me feel especially close to my older boys (and vice versa). I love hearing them tell me all the time that they love me, which I think is partly due to the bedsharing. We'll probably let baby sleep with us for another couple years and then move him to his own bed in his own room.
Katie - posted on 02/25/2010
yes and yes! i co-sleep with my 4 month old daughter and have since birth. most people i talk to say it is a bad idea... but it is just her and i and i love to cuddle with her at night plus it is SOO much easier to BF her.... just make sure she cant fall off the bed and that she cant suffocate in a super squishy blanket or mattress. I never worry about rolling on her. Humans are the only ones who dont sleep with their babies... its as natural as bfing is!
Ori - posted on 02/25/2010
I do and I love it! I wouldn't have it any other way. My husband on the other hand would like our baby in her crib. I do get lots of negative feedback. Everyone seems to think I'll regret it? I just tell them, one day she won't want me to hold her. So,. no I don't think I'll regret it!
Erin - posted on 02/25/2010
My husband and I co-sleep with my 2 month old baby girl. We love it! Everyone sleeps better this way, especially her. She doesn't really like to nurse so she will only do it a couple times a day and the rest of the time she gets a bottle, but she sleeps from 10pm to 5 or 6am. So it has nothing to do with the feeding for us, we just like her close.lol She will be moving to her crib at about 4-5 months though because she is already wiggly in bed. So when she starts scooting and crawling I wouldn't get any sleep if we had her in bed at that age because I would be too afraid of her falling off the bed.
Rachelle - posted on 02/25/2010
My boys are 7, 6, and 3 and we still have our youngest with us for at least part of the night. My husband wasn't comfortable at first.....but he grew to really enjoy it. He also saw how convenient it was for nursing. I got some negative comments/questions, but hindsight being what it is, I'm glad I went with what felt right for me/us. And I don't make any excuses or hide it at all. All of my boys stil love to sneak in to bed for some "snuggle" time. I'll be sad when the day comes when they'll no longer be interested. BUT, I think you do need to consider what sort of sleeper you are. There ARE those tragic stories of a heavy sleeping parent rolling over on the baby, or the baby getting tangled up,e tc... For me, it seemed impossible, but I guess it IS possible. So be cautious.
Ally - posted on 02/25/2010
My husband and I have a son that is almost 7 months old and we have all shared a bed since the day we came home from the hospital. During nap time Caleb (our son) sleeps in his crib but at night he sleeps with us. We have gotten some negative comments about our nighttime routine but we try not to dwell on it because it is what works for us. We have tried to sleep with him in his crib but he seems to sleep better with us. Plus I must admit, I sleep better when he is with us. I miss him when he's gone. I love being able to open my eyes in the middle of the night and see the little piece of heaven we have created.
Jennipher - posted on 02/25/2010
Oh sure,alot of negativity from loved ones and those that enjoy sharing their fair sense of comments were made - :) but you know how you sleep. For me, I sure did. First of all because my daughter was born with clubbed feet, casting was necessary for her - making it my (our lol) job to watch her closely to make sure she didn't smack herself with them when her little legs rose up...I still cosleep with my kids. It also helped during the nursing times in the late night early morning hours. Plus, I got to sleep better than if she was in her bedroom. Now, I get alot of, "you're going to have a hard time weaning her into her bed" guess what Lerin...I have 3 girl's and they sleep with us as well as in their bed all night or they just sneak in :) it is what it is...just be careful when you cosleep. For me, my girl's stayed by the wall, then me, then my husband on the outer edge because he's a sleeper - I'm not and that helped alot and made me feel safe knowing that they weren't going to get laid on :)
Mollie - posted on 02/25/2010
We are a bed-sharing, room-sharing family. Shared our room with our almost 4 year old son since birth until we got pregnant with our 8 month old. We now share our bed most of the night with her, as well as our room. Now that she is almost 9 months we are breaking the bed-sharing routine but she will remain in our room for another 2-3 years just like her brother did.
We got a lot of grief from people who had negative views about co-sleeping. We talked confidentially and openly with those people and the majority of them now understand better why someone may want to do it. Most people think it is unsafe and that you miss out on privacy but if you do your homework and do it right it is very safe and has a lot of positive effects on you and your kids.
Leah - posted on 02/25/2010
I co-sleep with my 7 month old daughter. I have since she was born. She doesn't sleep through the night, but when she wakes up, I just nurse her back to sleep, in bed. We both are well rested. I feel like I can be a better mom to her, because I'm not always tired. So, it's worked great for me! I do have concerns about eventually getting her to sleep in her own bed, down the road. But, for now co-sleeping is definitely the right choice for my daughter and me. I haven't really had many negative comments about it. Some people think that I'm just spoiling my daughter by letting her sleep with me. I find I rest easier, knowing she's safe beside me.
Laura - posted on 02/25/2010
I feed my daughter at 10pm in bed and when she starts snoring i put her in the crib.. she wakes up at 630 and i feed her in bed and then we hang out or sleep until i have to get ready for work. Its nice because i dont have to worry about rolling over onto her, my husband and i still get to sleep next to each other and I get to sleep next to her for a couple hours a night. I feel its the best of both worlds
Mitzi - posted on 02/25/2010
My husband and I co-sleep with our daughter. Meaning she is in the room with us. I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel more comfortable knowing that she is safe. When she was first born it was a little nerve wracking that any little noise I got up. But then I learned to differentiate them and no longer get up for every single peep she makes. Even if you get negative comments continue to do what makes you and your daughter comfortable.
April - posted on 02/25/2010
My husband and I have been co-sleeping from the beginning. It is so wonderful because I barely have to gain consciousness to feed her. In fact, after we got into a routine, my daughter started sleeping on the same schedule so that we both start to sleep lighter when she is about ready to eat. So, there's no screaming or anything at night! She eats and we both kinda dose during the process. I'm the most rested new mother I know!
Jess - posted on 02/25/2010
I co-sleep but this decision wasn't based on feeding convenience. For the most part, I have found that more people do it than I thought or people would have you believe.
Krystal - posted on 02/25/2010
We cosleep with our 9 month old. But...we also homebirth, don't vaccinate, breastfeed, delayed solids, ect, ect, so we are used to being the "odd ball" out, if you know what i mean.
No one in my family does this, and only a few of my friends. It's hard to relate to anyone or even discuss baby issues bc. of our differences. As far as negativity, mostly from my mom and sister. I get little comments alot, but like i said...we are used to it!
I honestly can't imagine breastfeeding and not cosleeping? I mean, how do people even do that? You have to feed your baby every 2-3 hrs all night long. You would get NO sleep if you were constantly getting up, going to get the baby, feeding them, putting them back down, just for them to be back up in an hour or two! I'd much rather have him right next to me :-) We can nurse and fall back to sleep together.
I know we are doing the best thing for our baby, and that is all that matters!
I just read a great book that my midwife suggested, and it just confirmed the way I already felt about cosleeping. It's called "the family bed."
Louise - posted on 02/25/2010
i sleep with my 15 month old baby girl in the same bed and ve done so since i came home with her. i find its really easier to do this when nursing.some people insinuate im spoiling the child but overall i think its quite acceptable to most pple.moreover im not about to change my parenting style for anyone.
Martina - posted on 02/25/2010
i sleep with my 4months daughter and my hubby on the bed...and we dont have a problem at all but i guess when she is like 1yr or alittle less than that, then she can start sleeping alone.
Jamie - posted on 02/25/2010
My first daughter was not breast fed nor did I co sleep with her, my second daughter I decided to breast feed and had her all the time so co sleeping seemed like really my only option but I honestly completely regret it, not to pass judgement on anyone here because everyone is different but she is now 15 months and still sleeping with me, very clingy and not independent at all like my other daughter was at her age. When I get her to sleep at night I have to lay with her the whole night there is no getting up to do other things otherwise she will wake up 45 minutes later, she needs to feel me next to her or she will not sleep and it gets frustrating at times especially when there are things I need to get done during the day when she naps. I think with breastfed babies they are use to that constant security that they need it all the time. If I have anymore children I will never co-sleep again and have no idea how I am going to break my daughter of it right now, I joke around with my husband telling him we need a bigger bed because I have a feeling shes going to be with us for a while but I pray she won't be much longer.
Michelle - posted on 02/25/2010
We co-sleep with our 17 month old son who still nurses at night. I love it to me it is very natural. My middle daughter who is now 3 co-slept with us until she was 2 then she was ready to go in her own bed. we went with her and that is what she wanted.
Maxine - posted on 02/24/2010
We are also partial co-sleepers. We have an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper basinette, because we have a waterbed which is considered dangerous to co-sleep on. I would be fully co-sleeping if not for the waterbed. Having said that, we do often fall asleep feeding on the bed and have several feeds a night on the bed, but if my partner wakes up and finds us asleep he will move bubby. I love waking up and going to sleep all snuggled up together though :)
I explain this to anyone who asks, and I havent really had any negative reactions so far. Pretty much just people who've related stories of people they know how it "hasnt worked out for", which is just their gentle form of justifying to themselves why they are not doing it ;)
Co-sleeping actually decreases the ris of SIDS, there's lots of info about this on the Dr Sears website.
Christina - posted on 02/24/2010
I plan on getting a bassinet or bed side sleeper as well as one of the co-sleepers that goes in the bed with us. My fiance and I have talked about it and since I am breastfeeding he has agreed to get up and get the baby at night. But since he works a 8 - 5 job and also works after hours on occasion as well we decided getting a co-sleeper to go in the bed too. The ONLY thing I have against bed-sharing is that it increases the risk of SIDS! Since SIDS may also be linked to genes and such, I am more cautious when it comes to things like that because several of my family members have had VERY close calls with SIDS; my mom had to perform CPR on my 2 week old brother and they linked it to a possible SIDS "attack".
Shana - posted on 02/24/2010
I partial co sleep, My daughter sleeps in a Moses basket next to our bed at night, and when she wakes in the early morning to feed, if I'm still REALLY tired I'll just bring her into our bed with me and let her feed and we both fall back asleep together, it's very comforting.
Laurie - posted on 02/24/2010
we do :)
Teresa - posted on 02/24/2010
We have always co-slept with our children until they start to be too big that hubby is getting shoved out of bed, then we put a mattress on the floor beside our bed when they can get back into nurse if they wake in the night. When they wean at 3-4 years they go into a room with older sibs.
Ashlee - posted on 02/24/2010
we co-slept with our little guy-born oct25 2008, until he self weaned and started sleeping through the night around 6 months. It worked great for us and we plan on doing the same with this next one due march 1st. If he isn't feeling well or really needs a nap and wont go down we take him into our bed with us sometimes they need that extra close time. We feel that it is because we co-slpet that he has such good sleep habits now as he developed good safe happy feelings about sleeping and night time.
who knows what ever floats your boat.
Amber - posted on 02/24/2010
we did/do co sleep. though not because I want to anymore. I think it enhanced our breastfeeding relationship so much in the beginning. It was easier for me he fed pretty much constantly through the night till he was a year old. So I was able to sleep and breastfeed at the same time yay!!! Now he is almost 2 and comes to our bed around 6 am for a feed. sometimes he comes earlier. I don't enjoy it as much now because he moves sooooo much. As for people commenting. I dont really care what people have to say about it. My baby my choice. As long as daddy is ok with it I have no problems.
Delane - posted on 02/24/2010
I have shared my bed since my daughter was born and it is just easier since I am breastfeeding. I did try to get her into her bed but I don't like it when she cries and I am unwilling to let her cry it out when she doesn't understand what is going on. I did get some negative comments from my pediatrician who said that if I hurt her while sleeping with her she would turn me into DCF..I laughed it off of course and changed my pediatrician since it is really hard for me to roll over on my daughter when I can sense she is there. I think personally it bonds you more to the baby..
Francesca - posted on 02/24/2010
We co-sleep. We have since my Ella was five weeks old. I tried it at my father's suggestion after I had not slept since delivery. I get some ignorant comments from some, but from the opinions that matter I get lots of support.
My doctor, and lacation consultant both approved. Then, after talking to a family friend who works with children services as a children's therapist insisted about what a world of good I was doing. My parents were the ones to suggest doing it. And everyone else...doesn't matter.
Mind you, it doesnt make it any easier when I do get critized. I had one of my DH friends tell me I may as well kill my baby, she even made me cry. But I armed myself with the stats and the research for the next fight . :) Check out these two links...
Jacquelyn - posted on 02/24/2010
We do, and I don't really talk about it to anyone other than my close friends and family becasue people are so negative about it. We sleep safely taking all precautions so I don't need to hear all the stupid comments from people that are irrelevant to me, so we just keep it to ourselves :)
Geralyn - posted on 02/24/2010
My husband and I co-sleep with our beautiful 22-month old son. We love it. He has been in our bed since the first day that we came home from the hospital. Can I just say that its challenging to bedshare at the hospital? The beds are so small and narrow.... plus I was worried about the height. Anyway, we practice all the safety recommendations for safely co-sleeping. We placed our mattress on the floor after he was able to roll over. We have a second one on the way and fully intend to co-sleep with both children....
Emily - posted on 02/24/2010
I am a single mom, and I have co-slept with my daughter from age 8 months and she is 3 now and still sleeps with me. When she was an infant I put her in her crib after she would fall asleep nursing - just because it made me nervous to have her in the bed when she was newborn. I have always received a lot of flack for this, but my daughter and I enjoy being close and it gives us a sense of security and sweetness that we love.
Summer - posted on 02/24/2010
im a breastfeeding mom, i started semi co sleeping with ,my daughter when she was 4 or 5 mos. we do it from about 5 am till ew all wake up around 9 ish... and when my entire family got sick 2 weeks ago, my hubby slept on the couch and me and lil bit snuggled up in bed... we do the early morning regularly... but im more willing do do it for the night when she is teething and such.... normally those times she needs the added comfort.
Elizabeth - posted on 02/24/2010
I am a co-sleeping, bfing mom--Our daughter is 22 months old. I would love to move her to a 'big girl bed' ASAP. We are trying to concieve #2 and between the nursing and having Alyssa in bed with us, it has been a struggle. We've been trying since june of 09 with no luck--As far as the negative feedback goes--It is no ones business but your own. I just dont mention it, We went to the dr for her 18 month check-up and she asked if Alyssa was in a bed or crib--I just said "bed" and that was that. Really, this time goes by so so fast, why not spend as much time as you can with them? Who cares what anyone else has to say about it, Enjoy it while it lasts!! I know I am. As much as I think Id like to have the bed to myself (ourself i guess, since my husband is in there, as little as i see of him...) I think Id miss this time we have together terribly!! I hope this was helpful!
Internet CEO Mom--Moms Helping Moms Work from Home
Trina - posted on 02/24/2010
I co-slept with my little ones who I felt that what I was doing was right for my children. I just didn't open myself up to negative feedback and opinions during that time. Instead I looked up how to co-sleep safely and educated myself about the risk and benefits. Many people have so many different opinions on it, but I think the key is to surround yourself with those who are supportive. People often feel strongly about these types of things, and that is fine.
Jennifer - posted on 02/24/2010
I sleep with my 20 week old son and it works wonderfully for us! People who don't understand, obviously say negative things. I just feel like it is the best situation for me and my son! If there was a problem with it, I don't think either of us would sleep so soundly! haha
Linda - posted on 02/24/2010
My daughter is 10 months old & she sleeps right next to me and has since i brought her home from the hospital. Many people might not think it's right, but I don't really care what people think. In the end it's whatever makes you comfortable.
Stephanie - posted on 02/24/2010
Hey hun, we co sleep too. Dex is 7 months and he just wont go back to sleep at 2 am (or whatever time) he gets up in the middle of the night, I got tired of fighting it and now everyone sleeps. we have a king bed and there is lots of room for everyone. We love it :) And yes people comment, but people comment about everything...my kid my life my descisions.
LeAnn - posted on 02/24/2010
I have 3 kids, ages 7, 2, and 6 wks. The 7 yr old slept with me until I was about 6 mths pregnant with the youngest and then the bed just wasn't big enough for everyone to be comfortable so we transitioned her to sleep by herself. The 2 yr old sleeps with me and her dad part-time. Sometimes she likes to sleep with her older sister. I think co-sleeping is a comfort for mother and child. I am a huge supporter and have just ignored any negativity I received as I am confident with this particular parenting choice.
Betty - posted on 02/24/2010
i have co-slept sinve brought our son home almost 5 montha ago. i get commnts every now and then but it easier on me as a mom, getting more sleep and less worrying for me at night
Courtney - posted on 02/24/2010
i also love cuddling up with her! lol