Why I didn't formula feed

Anna - posted on 10/19/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I got a good laugh from this posting I found on the Breastfeeding is Legal, Keep it that Way fb group:

Reasons I Didn't Formula Feed
By Marilyn

Everywhere I go, formula feeding moms tell my why they didn't breastfeed. I never thought about breastfeeding that way, but maybe I should. Here are the reasons I didn't formula feed since I feel so guilty for not doing it. ):

1. I didn't want my husband to help take care of the baby. We all know that the only thing husbands know how to do is feed the baby a bottle.

2. I was just too lazy to get up in the middle of the night to make bottles.

3. I hate doing laundry and I've been told that formula stains so I don't want the extra work.

4. No one ever told me about the advantages of formula. All the doctors and nurses pushed breastfeeding on me and never ever offered my baby a bottle.

5. I'm stupid and since breastfeeding makes you smarter I figured my kids could use all the help they could get.

6. Since everyone knows breastfeeding women leak all the time, I figured I would have the advantage at wet t-shirt contests. I go without a bra and they don't even have to spray me because I'm already wet.

7. A boob-job is too expensive and I wanted bigger boobs.

8. I hate going to the pediatrician with my kids. I've heard formula-feeders just love going, but I don't and if breastfeeding keeps me out of the doctor's office that's the choice for me.

9. I just wanted to stay home and sit on the computer all day. If I had chosen formula, I would have had to go to work because everyone knows you can't work and breastfeed. Everyone knows breast pumps don't work and are just there for looks.

10. I'm poor and I can't afford formula so my child is being denied all its wonders (stomachache, ear infections, nasty spit-up, nastier poopies, colic) because I'm poor.

11. My mother didn't breastfeed and of course I have to be different just to spite her.

12. I just couldn't formula feed. I tried and tried to put that bottle in the baby's mouth but he just didn't want it.

13. I didn't have enough formula so I had to breastfeed or the baby would have starved.

14. The bottle never made any formula. I shook it and turned it upside down and stared at it but it never made any formula at all.

15. It's just too embarrassing to feed my baby a bottle in public. People will stare and make rude comments.

These are my reasons for not formula feeding if you disagree with them, then I will get all my breastfeeding buddies to tell you how wrong you are.

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5 Comments

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Ashlee - posted on 10/22/2009

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I got a huge kick out of this! I have thought of it that way! I do think ppl should consider how and what they say and do to a BF momma! I have had so many rude comments and even though i think its so nasty to bottle feed..... I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!!!!

Sinead - posted on 10/20/2009

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No. 2 is a little too close to the truth for me!

Natasha - posted on 10/20/2009

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Its no.8 and 10 I don't like , my eldest son was completely formula fed and he never had any of that. I'm not trying to take the fun out of it, some of it actaully gave me a laugh, but those bits offended me a little. Maybe I'm just a little sensitive, my PMS hormones are kicking in again after being almost constantly preggers for two years! Lol

Natasha - posted on 10/20/2009

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This quite funny, some of it is a little bit hard to take as a mum who ended up having to formula feed, but the general gist of it is really funny.

Rachel - posted on 10/19/2009

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I've seen a different version of this but number fourteen was new to me :D Made me laugh!



One of my stock answers is that we doomed our kids genetically so we had to do something to help them out ;) People tend to either look at me and blink or laugh ;)