why is everyone saying its time to stop breastfeeding

Jess - posted on 09/16/2012

Your family should be respectful of your designs, your are the mummy not them. Grandparents offen get confused that they are NOT the parent and the do NOT know what's best for your baby, YOU know what's best for the baby, because you are the mummy, f it was me I would avoid spending time with people like that. If you feel you are doing the right thing, that's all what matters.

Celeste - posted on 09/13/2012

Putting on my Admin hat for a sec:



Ladies, just a reminder, it's a personal choice when to wean, but please don't call another person's choice as "gross" or any other derogatory name.



Thanks :)

Carly - posted on 09/12/2012

Are you serious. I cannot believe your family are pushing you to this.



I stopped my son at 11 months because I was sick of biting me, but it was my choice. And bottle fed my second child because it was what suited me



Dont let them get to you I would say in a very calm voice...



You had your children and did it your way, this is MY child I am doing it this way and if you DO NOT like the way I am raising MY child, you can choose to not be in your grand-daughters life. Otherwise keep your opinion's to yourself, and back off!!!



GOOD ON YOU!!! At 21 continuing to breast feed, and who cares what people have to say - as long as you are doing the best you can do... Then thats all that matters...



Just remember she is your daughter, not their's.

Amanda - posted on 09/10/2012

So sorry to hear that you do not have a loving support group. I, too am going through the say criticism for the 4th time. My fourth child is 8 months and I am already being told I should have weaned her, but I have heard the whole argument with the last 3 children. All of my children, because they have had my love and shelter and have had their needs met when they had a need, are smart, curious and independent young people. Whether it was the bf or not is irrelevant. They had the best I could offer them, and no one knows them better than I do. If your family will not offer you support, maybe they need to stay out of the picture for a while. You husband needs to defend you from your mom-in-law if he is able. That is his responsibility in life, to protect you. If he cannot, you need to rest on your own convictions and shut out the criticism. Praying for strength for you, God bless!

Aimee - posted on 09/03/2012

There is absolutely nothing that says you have to wean your child by one year of age. Actually, continuing past the first year is often recommended. You do not have to wean until you and your child are ready. Shame on your family for making you feel this way. If they aren't going to be supportive of your parenting choices they should keep their opinions to themselves, especially since you are not hurting your child in any way. The type of behavior they are exhibiting would make me want to stay away from them.



With my first, I bf until 14 months, but started hearing comments around 6 months. My second child is 6 months old now and the negative comments by family members have begun again. My response to these comments is that " it is recommended to continue bf past the first year and I really hope to do just that. The longer we bf the greater the benefits to me and baby, and we will stop when we are ready."



This is your child. You don't have to listen to what your family members think is right. Follow your motherly instincts and do what your heart tells you is right.

Megan - posted on 09/02/2012

My son just turned a year old and I get the same thing from EVERYONE! They are shocked that I still breastfeed and it seems like they all think that once your child turns one you should stop. It sounds like you are dealing with a much worse situation though. In fact, I feel really sorry for you! I think you should just keep your head up and continue because you know what is right! If you look up information about breastfeeding online there is a ton of resources that will help reinforce your decision to continue breastfeeding, so just keep your head up!

Heidi - posted on 08/31/2012

Personally i think at around a year a child should be weaned. That is when a pediatrician recommends a child be weaned from a bottle/formula. I just think if your kid can eat regular people food and carry on a conversation with you it's time to put the boob away. But this is just my personal opinion. If you want to breastfeed your kid till she's 4 go right on ahead. For someone to call you names and tell you that you're a bad person for doing what you believe is the right thing for your baby, well, they're the piece of shit in my book. You keep doing what you think is the best for your little one.

Liz - posted on 08/20/2012

Know that you are not alone and do have support. I stopped listening to lots of people and the only advice I give is that you should do what's right for your baby and you. Your baby will let you know what she wants and it's your job to provide it. I tend to just smile and say "it's just that I want what's best for my happy, healthy child as opposed to feeding her chemicals that may make her overweight and unhealthy".
Good luck, you know what's best xx

Patricia - posted on 08/19/2012

Been there got the tshirt lol it was my dd choice to stop at 2.5. I wanted to stop at a year but the screams of anguish from her made me realise how selfish i was being.

Secondly, you are the mum not your rellies, ignore them or you will forever feel the guilt and regret. Just think of their shocking behaviour as a phase as you would a child. My rellies stopped nagging after 6 months and a good line to hit back with is something like "thanks for your advice but i know best for me and my dd just like you knew best for me" if they keep going on tell them ur not stopping just because they say so and they had better get used to it and if they do not have anything supportive to say dont say it. You have the world health org and the government on your side hun xx

Rachel - posted on 08/15/2012

Good for you.. I am on baby #5.. For me I wouldn't go past 14 months.. I felt if my child was eating regular meals and snacks it surely wasn't needed.. Still feel this way. The important nutrients is the first 12 months. I have a 3 year old and there is no way my son going into pre-k would I be breast feeding.. Seriously be able to hold a conversation with your child and breast feed I think is beyond the limit and goes from nutrition to plain gross. But to each their own!

Anna - posted on 08/15/2012

Don't listen to ignorant people who simply follow the cultural trend. If they really want to discuss the topic with you, tell them to read some breastfeeding literature, all of which indicates that the natural weaning age for human children is between 2 and 7. Most cultures don't even think about weaning until the child is at least 2 or 3. You'd be surprised how many women on this forum nurse until 4 and 5. My son is 2.5, still nursing, although at night only. Do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Brooke - posted on 08/14/2012

It is completely natural. I was nursed until almost three (with some food of course) at night before bed and I think I turned out ok. I nursed my son until a little after a year and my niece was nursed until 2. A fun fact for you: most countries throughout the world nurse until at least three-US is one of only that most moms stop before two years.

Sarah - posted on 08/14/2012

Been there. My mom and in-laws have made it very clear that I am a black sheep in my family too. My choices are never "right." Nursing was one of those things that I was determined to do, even though making time for it was "inconvenient" for everyone else. And I was only 21 with my son as well. It was very tempting to give up. My DS was a very poor nurser. He would never latch properly, and nursing was very painful. But I knew that nursing was the only way to give him a healthy start and so I wouldn't quit.

Don't give up. No matter what they say, know for sure that you are giving your daughter a gift. You are giving her a healthy start, a strong body, and a deep connection to you that she cannot get anywhere else. Just as you would not allow your mom / in-law to take your daughter's christmas presents and toss them in the trash, do not allow them to take away this gift.

So continue until your daughter is ready to stop, and try not to let the comments get to you. I know it is not easy. (There were many tears shed over this in my house) Be strong for your daughter, so she can grow up to be a healthy and strong woman just like you.

Aileen - posted on 08/12/2012

WHO recommends

WHO strongly recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life. At six months, other foods should complement breastfeeding for up to two years or more. In addition:

breastfeeding should begin within an hour of birth;
breastfeeding should be "on demand", as often as the child wants day and night; and
bottles or pacifiers should be avoided.

You are fantastic and giving your child the best start that nobody else can do. Be proud. You do what is right for you and your child. I fed mine til almost 2 and got some negative comments but that actually makes me a bit more determined!!!

Tania - posted on 08/12/2012

Good thing she is your daughter, not theirs. And did your mother really call you a piece of shit? I would separate myself from them and their abusive behavior. As much as I would want my children to know their grandparents, I refuse to have them around abusive, hateful people. My family knows not to say anything to me about breastfeeding, I will not hesitate to tell them like it is. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least two years and then as long as mother and child desire - not putting a maximum limitation. You continue to nurse as long as you both want to and ignore anyone who tells you differently.

Lydia - posted on 08/12/2012

I think you should really step up and tell them that you are going to do what you think and know is right for you and your daughter. Being 21 doesn't mean you are stupid or unable of making the right parenting choices. In fact they are the ones that are stupid and ignorant by thinking that their way of how they did things is the right one. The recommended breastfeeding time by the WHO is 2 years or beyond. There is no reason to stop at 1 year, especially not when you both enjoy the breastfeeding relationship. Go with your guts, trust your instincts. You are an awesome mom!

Sj - posted on 08/11/2012

i'd advise you to stay away from those people who are unsupportive of your position. YOU are the mother! they arent! they had their turn. now it is yours. dont let them take your baby from you as if they were the one carrying that egg in their body! you did it. so you make the executive decisions. period. you stop when YOU want to stop. your baby will love you regardless. im 23 and i plan on breastfeeding my gummy bear til hes 2 or gets all his teeth in, whichever comes first. dont let them stop you. do what you have to do to thrive so your baby will thrive. people respect money. Go get a degree, and start making a ton of cash. They'll be quiet then.

Debbie - posted on 08/11/2012

First I want to say - Great Job for going this long (& wanting to go longer)!!
It is not easy (especially when you don't have support).
I can't believe your mother & mother-in-law are acting like that. That's terrible.
I nursed my 1st daughter til 26 months (I was pregnant with my 2nd & was getting too sore). At that time she just nursed at night anyway. I did have people ask me when I would wean (& give me funny looks - when they found out I was still nursing - including my mother).
I even had a co-worker tell me, she didn't nurse her kids because, "It's not natural" ! I actually laughed out loud to that one.
Bottom line is this: you know what is best for your child. Just because your child turns a year old, does not mean the benefits of nursing just stop. So - just keep doing what you're doing & hang in there. Good Luck & Keep Up The Good Work!

Angie - posted on 08/08/2012

You're awesome. People need to mind their own damned business. Only you know what is best for your baby. I am 100% on your side.

Kristie - posted on 08/08/2012

I am still nursing my 19 month old. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing!!!! Maybe you should bring her to the pediatrician with you to hear it from a doctor that what you are doing is fine.

Amanda - posted on 08/07/2012

I have always let mine self ween which normally happens somewhere around 2 years old, sometimes a bit longer. My family were jerks to me about it too. I got tired of hearing the snide comments so I would just answer with "The world health organization supports breastfeeding to the age of 7 or 8" and of course give them my best eat shit smile. Just remember this is your child, not your mothers and the longer you breast feed the better protected she is.

Momof2 - posted on 08/06/2012

I nursed my first son for 2 and a half years until i got pregnant again and he self weaned. i am now nursing my 2 month old son and plan to nurse him until he self weans as well. (i am hoping that will be some time between 2 and 3 years.)

i didnt have a problem with people pressuring me to stop nursing. my mom is an rn and the rest of my family was very supportive as well. my advice would be the same as everyone else keep nursing until you and/or your baby is ready to stop. tell them to keep their comments to themselves as you are doing what best for your family or to stay away from you and mind their own business if they still wont leave you alone about nursing.

Beth - posted on 08/06/2012

If it's what you want to do, then you keep doing it, simple as that. No one will let someone else take her away from you for breastfeeding her. You're doing a great thing, and it's a shame those other people can't see that. As someone else said, I'd be keeping my distance from those negative people, at least for a while.

Sally - posted on 08/06/2012

They say it because they don't know any better (and maybe because they are jealous of you and your child having something they didn't). You DO know better. If you think it will help, give them the information about how healthy (for both of you) it is to keep nursing your daughter longer. If not, tell that you are the mom and if they don't like the way you are raising your child that's just too bad for them.
If they continue to harass you, stay away from them. Being family does NOT give them the right to abuse you or your child. You deserve better.
Good luck

Anna - posted on 08/06/2012

I think it's time to shut them down. Tell them flat out that if they don't like it they can leave and you won't be visiting with them either if they don't stop trying to tell you how to do it. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond. The benefits far out weight any negative comments from your family or anyone else!!

Lori - posted on 08/05/2012

I found it discouraging also when my first daughter turned 1 and I started getting the same comments and questions. Isn't she too old to nurse? When are you going to stop? I just knew she wasn't ready to stop nursing at 12 months. Luckily my husband was very supportive and told me "just because she had a birthday doesn't mean you have to stop nursing today!". I nursed her until 23 months, and only weaned her then because I was pregnant and it was hurting so much every time she nursed.

For the most part, I just stopped discussing it with anyone. It was no one elses business but mine and my daughters.

And now with my 2nd daughter, she is 20 months and I haven't heard any negative comments this time around. I don't know if it's because people who know me know that I did wean my older one before she turned 2 so they expect I'll do the same this time around again, or if it's because I'm so much more confident in my decision to continue to nurse that I invite absolutely no question to my decision.

As for dealing with nay sayers... especially family. Getting the facts, and presenting them can really help them to be able to back off. My Mom was quite supportive of my decision to breastfeed up until baby turned 1. Then she started asking "when are you going to wean". My answer at first was "when my baby is ready to". That never stopped her from asking the question again. However this time around my answer is "well, you know extended breastfeeding can help protect against obesity and type 2 diabetes. I'm going to give my baby as much protection against those as I can" And since both of those run in my family - that shut her up permanently.

A good place to start looking for the benefits of nursing beyond the age of one is one of the pegged posts in this group. I've provided the link for you here.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/breastfeedin...

Hella - posted on 08/05/2012

Well done! Nobody should tell you how long you breastfeed you child. My 3 years old still nurses, and of course my 1 year old still nurses. Some of my family members giving me hard time about it, but I just don't care,and I tell, them to go mind their own business. :)) She is your child, your body. !!!!

Sandie - posted on 08/05/2012

Well done for getting this far, and good for you for wanting to continue. It's a shame that some people feel the need to butt in and try to take over, but you're the mum and you know what's best for your baby. I breastfed my son until he was 2years and 3months old, we stopped because he wasn't getting much milk and would get frustrated lol.
I decided to not discuss what I was doing with people who probably wouldn't understand and the one "friend" who expressed disgust got firmly told to grow up and that seemed to work :)
Good luck, keep up the great work!! x

DeserRai - posted on 08/05/2012

My son is 15 months and still an avid nurser(if that's a word, lol). Anyways, the moment he hit 12 months almost everyone would ask when I was going to stop breastfeeding. I always tell them that it up to Xander and I will not force him to give up something that still provides nutrition and comfort for him. Usually that shuts them up but if they keep going on and on I either tell them I'm his mother and I will do what I see is best for him and me or just simply say, we can agree to disagree and that's the end. Drop it and leave it. I want to tell you great job for keeping it up and good luck!

Dove - posted on 08/04/2012

Personally, I'd be cutting myself off from anyone who is not willing to either accept MY choices as the parent... or keep their mouth shut.

I nursed my son til he was 3 and had some very interesting conversations with a few friends about it. They didn't agree and they didn't understand, but they were very respectful about the fact that 'I' am the mom and I was doing what I felt was best for MY child.

Kimberly - posted on 08/04/2012

You poor thing that is hard to take!!!! I nursed my DD til she was 19months, I did along the way come across people who thought it was weird or unnatural and it did sometimes make me feel like a was some freak but I just learned that at the end of the day it comes down to this, My Baby, My Boobs, My Bussiness!!!!!! They arent the ones nursing her and just because they did things one way doesnt mean you have to do the same or that things havent changed in 21years!!!! I know it is hard when people arent supporting you but dont stop just because they dont like it. Its what you and your daughter want to do, noone else. You are a first time mom, doesnt matter age, I was 27 when I had my DD and I still needed help and support. I would personally maybe stay away from them if they arent going to keep there comments to themselves, they may not like you nursing but that is there problem not yours. I was very glad when I stopped when I did because I felt both of us were ready and now she is almost three and has hardly been sick at all so all those extra anitbodies she got have helped to keep her healthy. Keeping going til you feel ready and dont let people think just because you are only 21 that you dont know anything, every child is different and every mother is different. Best of luck with it stay strong!!!!

Jodi - posted on 08/03/2012

* this? And how did you handle it, because I don't think I can take anymore!