Worried about trying to breastfeed with clingy toddler around

Annie - posted on 05/08/2012

Get a sling, you can feed without using your hands & be there for your toddler at the same time ~ just make sure you remember to drink plenty of water!!!

Toni - posted on 05/03/2012

if you only express once a day or during the evening you will dry up quite quickly. If you are pumping you need to be trying to do it every three hours or so, or after every feed to maintain your supply, this is especially so if you aren't going to feed regularly from the breast.

I would try your next baby at the breast, my first would not latch (I pumped for him until my milk dried up) my daughter latched from day one and although we had some hiccups was a very good feeder (I'm still bf her and she's close to 1 now). Every child is different :-)

Anika - posted on 05/03/2012

Oh yea, was definitely only planning on expressing once a day anyway, no way would I bother trying to do it alone with my son. Would do that when my husband is home at night and my son's in bed, and try to get a bit more done on the weekend maybe. I'm gonna try the sling, that would be ideal. I guess I'm a bit worried cause my son was terrible with feeding, and it would take me a long time just to get him to latch onto one side, so hopefully this one will get the hang of it quickly.

Rebekah - posted on 05/01/2012

To me, a stay-at-home mom of 3, pumping is about 10 times harder than nursing during the day (in part b/c it takes twice as long). It seems like when I try to pump (once a day) that's when the baby cries, my 2 year old will pee on herself, and my 4 year old will decide to color on the wall. So, I think you'll have way more success if you're able to nurse at least 95% of the time.

All you can really do is prepare your oldest now-- give him the opportunity to learn to play by himself, and teach him patience. No matter what, you will need to give your baby some attention while feeding him. The good thing about nursing is that you can do it while walking around, while sitting in the floor playing with trucks, or while following your oldest around at the park-- with a free hand. And as for outings, I strap both of my older kids into their car-seats with a snack and then nurse the baby in the car. I have nursed a few times in the food area of Target while my big kids ate lunch too, but I really don't feel very comfortable nursing in public.

Toni - posted on 05/01/2012

My son was only 19 months when my daughter was born, he needed a lot of attention and time. It was difficult in the beginning, I pumped and bf for about a month until my daughter started refusing the bottles of breast milk. In my experience pumping is more time consuming than just bf'ing and was far harder to do with my toddler about too.

I found that when I needed to feed my daughter, I had to tend to my sons needs first, I made sure his juice cup was full, got him a couple of snacks (or lunch etc) and changed his nappy etc.

I found my son just wanted to be close to me, while my daughter was feeding he would try to sit in me, so I used my free arm to hug him and read to him and yes I put his favourite tv programmes on because it entertained him.

We also sang a lot, while she was feeding I would sing nursery rhymes with my son, and do the actions with him, or I would make up games where we sang thingsin weird/ silly voices, or I would use a sing song voice to get him to show me different things, such as a car, a lorry, a flower, a shirt etc or to toucha body part...touch your head, your nose, your hair, your arm etc...

Instead of thinking my son doesn't do crafts etc thinkabout what he does do, does he like singing, watching films, building, running, catching, jumping, spinning in circles, playing with instruments etc then workout how you can use that to entertain him whilst you are busy nursing or tending to baby (because they take a lot of attention even when they aren't nursing).

Finally a sling is a great thing to have, I loved mine it helped me get stuff done :-)

Lori - posted on 05/01/2012

There's a group on here for moms of kids with ADHD. They will probably have better ideas on how to help you with your son.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-of-kids...

Anika - posted on 04/30/2012

That's the thing, my son doesn't do any of those activities by himself, at least not for more than a couple of minutes. He's never been able to sit down and listen to a book, or be more interested in one than flipping through it. I've tried to get him to paint many times, he's not interested/doesn't have the attention span. Basically, he just doesn't do crafts, or..anything really. It's a big task trying to keep him busy or doing something right now when he has my full attention.. I've already had problems with him for a long time in regards to this, so having another one to care for and feed is pretty daunting right now. I think he'll be a great big brother, and he's a sweet boy, but just really can't do anything for long, I'm not exaggerating. He also doesn't eat..we have huge problems with that too.

I'm not sure how much he gets the concept of the baby either, he knows it's in my belly and he puts toys aside 'for the baby' etc, but it will probably be a huge shock to him (as for most kids I'm assuming) when we have an actual baby here. He's a little bit behind with speech too, but not majorly.

Sling feeding, never though about trying that. That could be a good idea, might give that a go. All I can do is try I suppose, I just wish there was some support for dealing with my son.

Janice - posted on 04/30/2012

My daughter turned 2 a month before my son was born. I found breastfeeding much easier the second time around. Once your baby is latched you can hold your baby with one arm and have the other free. Melissa's ideas are all great. Also you may want to learn how to use a sling/carrier so that you can chase your son around even when your not nursing. I was able to learn how to breastfeed while my son was in a Ktan carrier which made breastfeeding hands free.

Breast or bottle you will be stuck sitting down a lot, so start preparing your son now. Kids get a lot more than you think. Talk to him about the new baby and how things will change and how they will be different. Deep breath, I know its scary (was for me) but once #2 is here it will all work out. :)

Melissa - posted on 04/30/2012

This is what I was afraid of as well. My son was 2 3/4 when my second was born (on Valentine's Day). My toddler was also super clingy. He has surprised me since his little brother came around. I had milk supply issues in the beginning and was nursing every two hours, for 40-50 minutes as well as pumping for 15 min. afterward. It was hard to find the balance for my toddler. A couple things that have worked well for us...

1) I nurse at the kitchen table and my toddler can color, play with water paints, playdough, or some other busy craft he is capable of doing with little assistance. This works because I can make it seem like I am doing the activity with him while I am nursing. It also helps if these activities are only available to him while the baby is nursing.

2) Read a book. He will normally stand in front of me (if I am in the rocker) or sit next to me if I am on the couch and we read books.

3) If I am stressed or tired and he is bouncing off the walls, I have started allowing him to watch TV.

Hopefully some of this is helpful!

Lori - posted on 04/30/2012

He might surprise you once the baby is born. I'm not familiar with all the ins and outs of ADD, but I do have a high needs 3 1/2 year old who was 2 1/2 when her sister was born. She has never been one to play by herself, and also follows me from room to room. The only time I get to go to the bathroom by myself is when someone else is here too. I was able to exclusively breastfeed my 2nd one until 6 months when I started her on some solids. I never used formula, and she didn't even want to take breast milk from a bottle. When the baby was first born, my older daughter was just very interested in what I was doing with the baby. I remember one of her first comments when I brought the baby home. My parents were here and playing with my older one. I was upstairs with the baby. The baby started crying. My older daughter said to her Grandpa... "she wants her Mommy". And her Grandpa told her "she has her Mommy... your Mommy is her Mommy too". Something about that just clicked with her. That's not to say everything was smooth from then on. I learned to breastfeed while following my older daughter around the house. I learned to get a snack and drink for my older one before I sat down to nurse. And we tackled issues as they arose.



My suggestion, just go for it, talk to your son about the baby, and involve him as much as possible. Have him get a burpy cloth, or wipes out.