How to help my son to stop acting like a victum when he is targeted?

Meg - posted on 12/03/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is 13 on Friday. He has been an easy target for a long time. Now that he is in jr. high he is finding it harder to stop acting like the victum. He has limited social skills and has trouble making friends. We are in therapy and it is helping a lot, I jst feel like there is more I can do to help him. I have had many conversations with the school about the bullying that he says is going on and they are blaming my son for all of it when I know he isn't atarting all of it. I'm not saying that he is blameless but it can't be all him either. It is so frustrating when he comes home and tells me he was being beat up at school and there is nothing I can do about it. He has stopped telling me about a lot of it and that is only componding the problem because he takes his anger and frustration out on his younger brother at home. I just don't know how to help my son to help himself any more! Any help out there?

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6 Comments

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Deepti - posted on 09/06/2012

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U r there to help him and protect him but ultimately he has to deal with the outside world at diff ages and at diff levels, so prepare him...all the best!

Deepti - posted on 09/06/2012

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May be ur child needs to drop his shyness and become more confident .spend time with him more and help him to socialize better so that he can handle diff situations in better way.

here is a link that can tell u the ways to make ur child confident:http://perspectiveofdeepti.blogspot.in/2...

Dawndi - posted on 08/23/2010

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Do not give up.
A victim is never ever to blame.
Your son;s school should have zero tolerance. There are laws to protect him.
I would contact the principal, get the school involved. If that doesn't help ..go higher up.
You are your are child's voice.

[deleted account]

Oh what! The school blames him?! That is absurd! It takes two to tango my friend. There is no way that he can be the only one. Perhaps see if your son will tell you who they are and you can talk to the parents? You have to be strong and hang in there. "If you don't believe your son, then who will." I think that the school is being way too slack about it. As a serious option, if he truly is being beaten up at school, and if the school doesn't do anything about it, take it to the police? I know it sounds a little OTT, but if bullying gets out of hand, then all sorts of things can happen.

I wish you all the best Meg. *Hugs and kisses and all that such*

Chris - posted on 12/26/2009

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Meg,
Keep on top of it, try to get as much info out of him as possible. Kids are cruel and these days parents are not being parents, they are raising disrespectfull little brats. My Daughter is 14, a freshman in High School this year and it has been Pure Hell for her. One girl has caused so many problems for her and it has taken a toll on her grades and social life, but as long as I'm alive I will not allow it to take over her soul, or her personality, I will fight until she is out. The most frustrating part is not being able to fight there battles for them, and of course we know they are not blameless they are going to fire back at one point or another. My advice to you is, don't give up! Go to the authorities if you have to, go to the highest person you can when it comes to the school board. Let your voice be heard. Stand up for him. It's B>S that these kids have to be humliated and tortured to the point that they loose themselfs, and at this age they should be finding themselfs. Try to get him involved in something he likes, rather it be sports or Karate or something. That will give him some confidence that he can still enjoy life.
Say something to the parent or Parents of the kids who are bullying him, let them know what they are doing to your son.
I have tried that also and the parents did nothing.
My daughter has been spit on, kicked, pushed, harassed in school, out of school and even on her cell phone. She has even gotten into a fist fight. I have always taught my kids, you don't start no crap, but you are not to take it either. I'm not saying fighting is the answer, but it has stoped one girl from ever thinking about messing with her again. She came at my daughter and my daughter defended herself. She held her own. That gave her some confidence. She absolutely hates school and I feel that there is something more we can do. Good Luck!

Kriss - posted on 12/18/2009

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Hi... I have a 10 year old daughter who doesn't like to tell me what's going on. I guess I over react, but I try very hard to keep her talking to me. I had to promise I wouldn't go to her teacher one time when (he/her teacher was being a bully) so I threatened him through an email that if he didn't make her last few weeks of school good days I would have his butt in the principals office. A friend of mine told me "you are your childs only advocate"! Sorry I don't have more advice. My daughters friends (at 10 hahaha) are going through hormone changes I think. They are always mad at her for no apparent reason.

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