Introducing ourselves and how we came to decide that following the guideline was the best choice

Amber - posted on 01/26/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Heyy everyone my name is Amber. I have a 18 month old little boy named Kohan. He is an only child at the moment, and were enjoying it! I became a mom at 18 so I did not have alot of personal experiances to go off of when it came to parenting. This is what drove me to take the billion and 2 classes about parenting and child development that I did. In doing so I discovered that so many professionals aggreed with alot of the same things like: "back to bed", passifiers, bottles, disipline, and many more. In studing these topics farther I relized that these were fool proof-ways (most of the time) to keep my son safe and happy. Their ideas were backed with studies and tests, so it got me thinking, why do it any other way? Just for my convinece? NO, it wasnt about me anymore it was about this mirical inside of me. Since then I have been going by the book. Everyonce in awhile there is something that I may not agree with and I will change the way I aproch it, but all in all I stay close to the experts.

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You know what's funny is that for me, the toddler years (with Erin, who's now 6) were easy. She was a delightful 2-year-old, not half bad at 3, and 4 was a breeze, but OMG when we hit 5, that's when she began to test us constantly. At 6, we battle attitude problems. We are VERY consistent with her, but it's like playing Whack-a-Mole. Get through one issue, and another will spring up before long. That's just how it is when they interact with other kids. We did find a way to minimize this, and that's by outlawing Disney Channel in our house. She was 10x worse when she watched Hannah Montana. Once we caught onto that (it took about a month for us to draw the connection between the two) and restricted her TV to PBS Kids only (and of course she has a limited amount she can watch), it did help a lot.

I think when the kids are little, it's easier to keep them acting right because we are their only significant influence. When they get older, and have friends, school, and other types of peer interactions, it is harder to maintain the consistent approach. It's 100% worth it. It's just harder. I'm enjoying the fact that my son is still young, and I still have a few years to be his main influence! LOL

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Jackie - posted on 02/11/2010

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Hi Leah...welcome to our little group! It sounds like this is absolutely the place for you...looking forward to talking to you more! =)

Leah - posted on 02/10/2010

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Hello,My name is Leah I have a 2 year old son Brayden!I I became a by the book mom while I was still pregnant.When my husband and first discovered our big news neither of us had any experience with childern.So we decided early on that we would do as much research and reading on raising a child as we could during thoes nine months.After reading all the books and doing tons of research we were convinced that we would stick to the recommendations of the experts and so far it has worked every step of the way! Of course Brayden is still the typical 2 year old who is very curios about everything and loves to learn!The first by the book thing we did was not letting Brayden sleep in the bed with us when he first came home from the hospital he was in a bassinet in our room then at about 8 weeks he went to a playpen in our room while taking naps in his crib in his room,then at 8 months old we moved him to his own room and crib for all naps and at night and was seamless transtion.As for the bottle Brayden was never layed down with his he was fed before bed then layed down to go to sleep and he has been sleeping through the night since he was 5 weeks old.He was off the bottle just a few days before his 1st birthday and it was no problem taking it away we had no restless night nothing again a seamless transtion!I read on some of the other communties about how they can't take the bottle away I just think well if your child did not use the bottle as a source of comfort and instead used it just for getting thier nuturtion it might not be so hard to take thier bottle!Brayden at now 2 is fully potty trained and has been since a week after he truned 2.He says please and thank you!He is allowed to watch one tv show per day and one movie per week and it is always an educational show.I am so glad that this community was formed becasue it is not always easy doing the right thing but as it was said we as parents have the reposiablity of raising our childern to be a healthy productive and well adjusted adult.I look forward to all the knoweldge and support I will gain from this community

Tanya - posted on 01/28/2010

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Well you see I wondered my way over here from the discussion in "toddler moms". About me I am 26 I have 3 daughters here with me ages 6, 4, and almost 18 months I also have one angel up in heaven and a stepson. I am married to the man I put trust in for 12 years our relationship is just that a normal relationship we will be married one year this valentine's day (we wanted to make sure it was right...lol j/k) A little about how I became what some would call a by the book parent, I did lots of self educating and also took some child development corses I also have lived and learned and had a exceptional up bringing with parents who were not perfect but did the best they could and always tried to better their parenting I take that approch also. If I ever do not agree with something in the book I seek a resonable alternative. I don't want to give too much about me out you all will get to know me pretty well though the posts and converstaions. I will let you know I do enjoy giving advice and I do enjoy getting advice and I don't get offended easy (if I did I would not have got married last year) I myself am a honest person I am also a bit of a joker hey what is life without a little fun right ladies?... I look forward to getting to know all you and learning much from you all.

Alison - posted on 01/28/2010

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Thanks, Anna! That makes me feel better about the upcoming years.



I found the same thing about TV. We used to let Logan watch Noggin (now Nick Jr.) a little each day until I read a story about a mom whose daughter was completely uncontrollable until they decided to turn off the TV completely and then she was like a whole different kid. Logan wasn't terrible during that time he was watching, but he was having some pretty bad tantrums from time to time, so I decided to try no TV for a week just to see and not only did the tantrums subside, but he also started learning more words almost immediately. Now we limit him to 2-3 minute YouTube clips of Sesame Street songs (he loves Elmo & Cookie Monster right now) and sometimes let him watch segments of Planets' Funniest Animals on Animal Planet... it allows me to cut his nails without him squirming and I feel like it's kind of educational b/c the whole time he's saying 'woof', 'meow', 'baa', etc. each time he sees an animal he recognizes. I definitely plan to stick with little or no TV throughout his childhood... I really think it makes a difference (based on observing friend's kids that are allowed to watch as much TV as they please).

Alison - posted on 01/27/2010

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Hi everyone - My name is Ali, I'm 30 years old and I have an 18 month old son, Logan. I'm so glad that this group was started b/c it is definitely not always easy to do things 'by the book', especially when most people aren't, so it's nice to find some support and hopefully great suggestions.

I decided to go this route b/c I have seen way too many kids who rule the roost and are, quite frankly, brats... and I am determined not to have children like that. I feel that if you start following guidelines that are proven from day 1, it will help make the challenging toddler years a little easier. Logan was in a bassinet for 6 weeks and his crib after that, never used a pacifier, was breast/bottle-fed until a year and then went right to sippy cup of milk, and from about 6 months on, I would leave him to entertain himself for a few minutes at a time and slowly extended that time as he got older. So far so good... he certainly tests me every chance he gets, and there are some times I am tempted to just give in rather than do it the hard way, but I know consistency is key, so I stick with it. Some days are harder than others and I question whether I'm really doing things 'right', but then my thoughts are eased when I see him share a toy with another child or put his books away without being asked. He still does things like crying when he doesn't get what he wants, throwing food to the dogs, touching things he knows he shouldn't touch, etc... but I think those are pretty normal for a toddler and 90% of the time he is just a happy, well-behaved, fun-loving kid. As a matter-of-fact - if he ever wanders off where I can't see him and a few minutes go by, 9 times out of 10 I find him sitting quietly looking through his books. That's all the proof I need to keep doing what I'm doing.

I know a lot of challenges lie ahead, especially in the dreaded 'terrible twos' but I also know other parents who have kept a good routine and been consitent with their discipline and they have wonderfully, well-behaved 2-year-olds and I am hoping Logan will be the same way.

Okay - I know this is long, so I should wrap it up... just wanted to say one more thing - not sure if any of you have read any of John Rosemond's books, but if not, I highly recommend them. He is a very 'back-to-basics' child psychologist and SO much of what he says makes perfect sense... I turn to his books whenever I question how I should handle something. You can also subscribe to have his monthly newsletter emailed to you. Just FYI.

I look forward to conversing with everyone about our amazing, obidient children in the future. :)

Amy - posted on 01/27/2010

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My name is Amy, I am 25 y/o and my son Isaac is 14 mos. I left my sons father when he was 5 mos to live with my parents, and moved in with my bf now (long time friend as well) in Nov. right before Isaac's birthday. I guess I wouldn't consider myself a single parent technically, as my bf is basically my sons father (who i eventually intend on marrying and having more children with), but for the most part it is all up to me. I do have a good deal of experience with kids, and I have seen where different roads can lead when it comes to bringing up your child, so that is where I have made most of my decisions on raising my son, experience.

The only baby book I've read was the what to expect when expecting, not so much the first year book or anything else. But I think having been brought up in a semi strict but loving home i have great role models to follow. I deffinitely take what my parents think and say to heart because their end results have all been what i might call a success.

Isaac slept in a bacinet in my room for probably about the first month of coming home from the hospital. He had acid reflux and it freaked me out, so a couple times i slept on the couch with him on my chest (the heat of my body and being tilted upward helped with the condition). One thing I have slid on is the pacifier, which he still has. He doesn't suck his thumb or depend on anything else to go to sleep, I think its fine for now, but he will not be over the age of 2 with his paci at his side 24/7. As of right now he only has it when he goes to bed. I introduced the sippy cup around 9 mos, he was off the bottle 3 days after turning 1. It wasn't a problem getting him off baby food, he prefered ours anyway!

Overall Isaac is the happiest child I think i've ever seen, he's healthy and on the right track.

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Hi! I'm Anna, and I have two kids. My 6 1/2 year old daughter is Erin Hope, and my 13-month-old son is Orren Kiet.



I had Erin my Sophomore year of college, and being young, plus being a Civil Engineering major, I obviously did not learn anything about babies or kids in the classroom! LOL I had virtually no experience with babies (in high school, I preferred doing people's gardening for extra cash over babysitting) so I looked to my mom, who is in the Early Childhood Education field, and also teaches Child Development courses at a local college. Because of her professional connections, she's very much in tune with the latest research, and what's now recommended for babies and kids. She kept me up to date on all that stuff, and our awesome pediatrician was totally on the same page, so I basically had two women who were both experienced moms, and professionals who work with children, telling me that these were the best ways, and importantly, they also told me WHY the recommended methods were proven to work (I am an engineer! I always have to know why! LOL) It made sense to me, so I followed the recommendations for Erin, and it's gone really well. Of course when we had Orren, we researched the latest recommendations on things pertaining to babies, and of course got the input of my mom and our pediatrician, and went from there. I've been doing it "by the book" for close to 7 years now, and have no plans to change that anytime soon. My kids are happy, healthy, and well-adjusted. It's obviously working for us.

Jackie - posted on 01/26/2010

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Hi, I'm Jackie...my daughter Kaylee is 13 months old. She is my first and currently only child though there will be a second on the way in the next year or so I hope. I have LOVED every second of being a mom, even the challenges. I am 30 years old and have had lots of experience with little babies as well as seen many different parenting styles over the years. I have seen what absolutely doesn't work and produces children that I honestly do not like to be around, and what does work and produces children that earn their parents complements at every step. That mother...as well as myself...doesn't do anything the easy way. We have both done everything the "right" way. My entire parenting philosophy is driven by the fact that I am preparing my child to be a successful, productive adult in the real world...whichi only comes with discipline, dispapointments, hardships, and lots of trial and error to learn independence. I am NOT here to be her "friend".



Don't get me wrong I LOVE my daughter dearly and snuggle with her all the time, play with her every day, and we do everything in our power to have her laughing daily...but our decisions are driven by whats best for HER in the long run vs. what is easiest for US now.



Looking forward to having conversations with people who don't think it's cute when their 2 yr old still gets rocked to sleep to then remain in mom and dads bed etc.

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