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Not only have I felt like I have been judged because I had a c-section, I feel like I am being judged because I want to explore my options when it comes to having a VBAC. Yes, my doctor told me that I had to have another section if I had another baby, she told me I had a 1-3% chance of delivering vaginally. I also found out from research on the ican website that my hospital is not very VBAC friendly. When I was talking with my cousin the other day about wanting more children but wanting to keep my options open she questioned me. Saying (she had a c-section with her daughter) that if she had to do it again she would choose a c-section. She cant do it any other way she said her body never dialated enough and question why I wanted to go through labor and delivery saying having a c-section isnt going to make me less of a woman. I know that but I also want a large family and that may not happen with repeat c-sections. So I am on the fence but I have seen it from both ends. Its really discouraging.
Shawna - posted on 11/27/2010
Yes those people are too judgmental. I was induced and did not dilate at all finally went into labor 4 days later and was in labor for 28 hours before they noticed that my sons heartrate dropped with every contraction. Finally they decided to do a c- section. and ya know what I LOVED IT. Yeah I said it, I would welcome another one any day.
Janis - posted on 11/12/2010
I was kinda forced into a C-Section with my son. I never wanted one but two doctors told me I should get one just to be safe b/c of how big my son was. 10 lbs 8 1/2 oz 21 1/2 in. It was a planned C-Section & I really hated it to be honest. I wish I was better about standing up for myself & what I want instead of C-Section happy doctors trying to force me into it. My daughter, who is 13 1/2 months younger than my son, I refused a 2nd C-Section & I was in labor for 3 days before I even went to the hospital then I stayed there from 1:30 pm & had her at 3:11 am via a successful VBAC. I refused Pitocin before & after I had her, despite angering one of the nurses by doing so. I understand why people have emergency C-Sections but I just don't know why women would want one or a repeat one if they didn't need one. Why go through all that? Like ya'll said, it DOES take longer to recover & it hurts very much. Not to mention the fact that there are a ton more risks than vaginal birth. Oh 7 btw, my daughter was also a big baby. 9 lbs .1 oz 21 5/8 in.
Renae - posted on 11/12/2010
I didn't know they still judged when you didn't want a c-seciton. I did, I had one by choice - you should see the looks I get and the things people say! God even the midwife in the operating room when I was just about to have it couldn't keep her mouth shut, lol. My baby is 20 months and I dont care anymore. For a while I didn't tell people, now I announce it proudly! It's my body and my choice and anyone who doesn't like or understand it can stick it. Shame on people for looking down on you! How dare they. Sometimes things just happen and a c-section is the safest way, noone can control these things and how dare anyone try to make you feel bad.
Stephanie - posted on 10/29/2010
I was told to have a c-section by my doctor with my first son because after 26 hours of induced labor he still wasn't moving down far enough. It turns out he was 10lbs and just too big to be delivered safely by natural labor. If I start to feel judged I usually just mention how I was glad to have a major surgery and save my babies the trauma they would have endured while traveling through the birth canal. :P I spent 6 weeks in crippling pain while my abdominal muscles re-knitted and they were up and moving the next day. Lets compare 6 weeks to a day and see which is harder.
Angela - posted on 10/29/2010
You are not alone! I never heard anything about my first section (my daughter turned sideways when I went into labor, so she wasn't coming out any other way) but I have to hear it from people now that my 2nd section is in 2 weeks - "why are you having another c-section? doesn't your OB's office encourage VBAC's? Are you not a good candidate?" And the list goes on and on....yes, I'm an excellent candidate for a VBAC, and yes, my OB's office encourages them instead of repeat c-sections, but ultimately, it's my decision, and I'm choosing to go with what I know and the recovery from a c-section as opposed to what I don't know - a vaginal birth, or, at worst, going through what I went through with my oldest, which was laboring for 23 hours and ending up with a c-section anyway. Honestly? I don't really care how the baby comes out. Having a VBAC isn't important to me. What's important to me is that the baby is healthy and that we establish a good breastfeeding relationship right away.
It bothers me when women have to be so judgmental about all aspects of motherhood. Who says that their way is the "best" way or the way everyone should do everything? What's right for one person isn't right for another, so people just need to be respectful even if they don't agree with a person's choices.
Tabby - posted on 10/28/2010
I had a c-section in January and I feel like women do look down on others that had c-sections... women who went through "natural labor" make it seem like I had it so easy until I tell them I did go through 23 hours of labor and 2 hours pushing... then they start saying how I was just to small (I'm 5'2) to push a baby out... it started to make me feel embarrassed like you that I had a c-section... I'm the only one out of my group of friends who had a c-section and they always make comments about how I couldn't have a baby vaginally... sometimes it really makes me mad and I tell them my labor and c-section and recovery was a lot more trying then just pushing a baby out and getting to walk around like nothing happened 3 days later... my mom is also one of those people who make it seem like having a c-section is so much easier than vaginal birth. Needless to say we aren't really on speaking terms because she makes it seem like I should've just been able to get up and act like nothing happened (I had complications with mine that lasted until my daughter was 7 months old).
Casey - posted on 10/28/2010
Yep I know the feeling, I feel like some women look at you as though you were to lazy to go through labour or you just weren't woman enough to do and yeah it annoys me too cause if only they knew what it's like to go through a long painful labour only to have something go wrong and then to go through the horror of having to be cut open to remove the baby and then to have the baby taken away from you straight away just because you had to have a c-section, not to mention the recovery time and not being able to do anything for yourself or care for your baby properly. I actually had my sister say to me the day after my son was born via emergency c-section after a 28 hour labour "what were you to posh to push" if I could have gotten up she would have been dead lol, some people are just plain old mean and have no idea what they are talking about. But in the end the only thing that should matter is that our babies end up healthy and safe and we're still alive to see them, how they came into the world shouldn't be important.
Kristen - posted on 10/28/2010
I have had 2 and will have another with my current pregnancy. Not by choice but for medical reasons. When I get stupid comments or "the look" from people, I simply say how sad I am for them that they feel the need to judge when they have no clue what its like physically and mentally to have a c-section. I dont feel the need to defend myself against these people because I know that I carried my babies for 9 months and I brought them safely into this world at any means necessary. We are not any less of a mother because we delivered differently. If anything we went through a whole lot more pain and inconvenience.
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